Catch Me :If You Can:, a naruto fanfic

Title: Catch Me If You Can

Chapter: 1

Anime: Naruto

Pairing: Kakashi x Sakura

Rating: M

A/N: A second pinch hit for the KakaSaku LiveJournal Holiday Anonymous Exchange. This time it is for J-Pop Princess!

Her request: I would love some fanfiction featuring a nice generous helping of Kaka/Saku smut. It could be sweet smut, rough smut, kinky smut, I don't care as long as it's dirty! Plenty of foreplay is preferable. I don't care what period, setting or universe they are in. Make it AU if you wish! Although I would enjoy a fic that had something to do with being trapped inside due to a snow storm or preventing hypothermia, but if your muse has something else in mind, by all means, be creative!

I, Seoi, am a slow writer with bad time management skills. Because I did not want to make J-Pop wait any longer than she already has, here is Chapter 1 of Catch Me with Chapter 2 on its way. This part is unbeta'd so any mistake is mine (please see "bad time management").

Edit: 'sugarquills and silverdust' left a review with some good points in it, so there has been some edits, including the fact that this story is now an AU. They are still shinobi, but no one has the use of chakra as defined by Kishimoto. I have no defense other than getting to the smut made me fudge. Thanks, for the concrit!

She shivered and shook even with his weight pressing down upon her. Or rather, she did so because of it.

Draped over her shoulder in a fireman's carry like a frozen lump of a blanket, Kakashi had seen better days. Typical days when he walked or ambled away unaided, especially when faced with paying for his meal. Normal days (as far back as she could remember), where he wore his jounin vest over clothing that hung baggy and dry on his lean frame. Average days that found him hale and hearty with scarecrow hair that went every which way as he tardily greeted them with a little wave and eye crinkled "Yo."

Well, his hairstyle still defied gravity, but the unhealthy blue tinge of his skin that began to match in tone to what sprouted from the top of his head worried her. When his violent shivers started slacking down in strength and duration, she forced herself to move faster through the knee-high powder of snow. Through this, her own body shook in an attempt to stay warm while the tips of her nose and ears were long past numb. Even if she wanted to not know what was happening to the two of them, diagnosing symptoms came second nature. She desperately needed to get them in out of the elements.

A silent killer, the cold of snow and ice slowly drained someone of their ability to keep warm once their core temperature became compromised. Falling into a pond like Kakashi had and not being immediately warmed up gave him a sure ticket to hypothermia.

Sakura would trade this disaster of a day in Snow Country for any one of those aforementioned one, even if his current position put his temptingly tight butt within eye lingering and hand groping reach. Not that her level of perversion could hope to touch his, but everyone had needs, including her. The pinkette enjoyed sneaking quick, appreciative peeks at the blatant eye candy walking around the village along with most of her fellow kunoichi.

As she aged and grew into her skin – with a lot of hemming and hawing truthfully speaking – the medic gradually allowed herself to be comfortable with her own sexuality. Sakura dated selectively, and in that, learned how to explore and want and enjoy. It also helped knowing how she truly appealed to the opposite gender (that acted as a soothing balm to quiet some of the anxiety she still felt over the width of her forehead). There were enough men secure in their own masculinity that found her strength a turn on rather than a turn off. So it was by choice during the times when she found herself single. Like now.

Though no longer wide-eyed and naive when it came to physical pleasure, she still blushed easily to her dismay. Sakura liked to blame her genetics for that.

Unlike her younger self who walked around with blinders on, she now appreciated being surrounded by a group of some of the most visually appealing and virile men in all of Fire Country. Her ex-sensei just happened to be one of them as Ino gushingly reminded her on a semi-regular basis.

Sakura would rather play a fun game of tables-turned with Kakashi (which they had multiple times, especially after a hard sparring session, all in the safety of her head), rather than be in the situation they found themselves in now. Bad luck, in the form of extremely hungry snow predators, caught them on their way back to Konoha. And after a successfully completed mission too! she mentally whined.

Sakura would even trade for a hospital visit day when they did play hide and seek, Kakashi-version. Not much of a guess as to who took on which roles then.

Her travel backpack dug a little bit further into her spine with each step, aggravating the wound slicing along one hip. The bag helped insulate her back against the cold and acted as a lumpy cushion for Kakashi to rest on face down. Wrapped like a mummy in her sleeping bag to keep him insulated, his wet clothing having been stripped from him and stuffed in a wet sack and tossed inside Sakura's bag, he managed a more comfortable position for his arms upon gaining consciousness.

In the back of her mind she wondered how he did so, but her main focus stayed on the something that pressed lightly against her. Two somethings, her inner self helpfully supplied as Kakashi's ungloved hands – somehow tucked between her back and the bag – slowly, almost absentmindedly, stroked her soft skin. Sakura might not have been so distracted if he just kept his hands still (okay, maybe not). However, sometime during their trek, his hands found their way under her shirt and stayed there.

It's so that he doesn't get frostbite. Skin to skin is best; it's nothing else. He's not in his right mind…And it must be uncomfortable to be carried over my shoulder this way even if he can rest on top of the bag…And…And…

The inward monologue trailed off once again as his fingers and palm cupped her lower back, gently kneading with such a light touch that it almost could be nonexistent. He did not stop though, and Sakura commented not upon it because she knew he knew that he did not understand what it did to her.

So it continued.

Maybe he wouldn't mind me feeling him up either. The medic nin swallowed against the lump in her throat, putting one foot in front of the other a bit stiffly as her thighs surreptitiously rubbed against each other to ease the smoldering ache between them.

Little puffs of breath misted with each exhale, but they did little to moisten her cracked lips. Licking them not only did no good, what with the dry winter air undoing her efforts momentarily afterward, but the tactile sensations aroused only fed the tingling in the pit of her belly. Sakura was definitely going to make him pay.

So she ignored his hands (as much as she could), the butterflies (just a hungry stomach), and her dry lips (what if he licked them?). She ignored it all with only a grace gained under Tsunade's tutelage.

In any case, the pinkette's hands currently occupied themselves by keeping Kakashi in place. Something told her that he would not thank her for dropping him in order to apply lip balm. With his total immersion in frigid waters, his condition needed to be continually monitored. His hands stayed warm against her, and his feet were dry (his damp boots and socks dangled from her pack). Though the bed roll helped to conserve what he had, it could not generate heat for him. With his once violent shivers tapering off, he needed to raise his core body temperature back out of its current danger zone.

Through her own chattering teeth, she queried, "K-Kakashi, are you with me?"

He stirred in response, and she shifted her hold once again. His fingertips grazed the top swell of her rear, eliciting a silent half-gasp from her.

The silver-haired jounin replied muddily, voice shaking here and there with cold. "Wouldn't w-want to be anywhere else, Sakura…" A slight tremor racked his long body. "Can't wait for a w-woman like you to take me home to have her w-way with me."

The sound that bubbled out of her sounded like a snorted laugh. "You perverted man. T-This is your entire fault. Just you wait until w-we do get back to the village."

"Ah, I'll hold you to that…"

Sakura continued bantering with the semi-cognizant man (the cold long since made him sluggish), to help them both remain conscious and for her to think of something other than his hands. Only the sound of his voice, deeper than normal due to his weariness, made her worry for his physical condition as well as her mental well being. If this were an alternate universe, they would hopefully not be in a situation where he might freeze to death. Of if this were another life where they were in a relationship that allowed it, she would have long since pushed him against a wall and commanded him to stop the teasing.

Sakura always figured Kakashi for a commitment-phobe. Yes, he carried on his private life in that mysterious way of his where no one successfully gleaned any information about it other than what he allowed. However, with nothing in the way of a steady romance in his life leaking out in all this time (the village did house eagle-eyed gossips after all), it told a story all its own. Obviously, everyone knew he visited the Memorial Stone regularly, apologetically enjoyed reading his orange-colored novels, could be found eating out or drinking whenever another paid (willingly or no), and thriftily stocked up on shampoo for his little pug when they went on sale. About the latter, Sakura made it a point to find out so that she avoided smelling like Pakkun; no matter how cute she thought him.

On the other hand, no news going around the grapevine about him being in a relationship, serious or otherwise - flings notwithstanding - made it easier to pretend none existed. Sakura was a big girl however and knew even a man as disciplined as Kakashi needed release from time to time. If she enjoyed company of the opposite gender, why would he not as well? In a way, she thought it nice that no one spoke his name linked romantically with someone else's. A discreet lover who respected his companions? Definitely on a turn on unlike what regularly occurred with the women taking up with Genma. Though the senbon-chewing shinobi made his interest in Sakura apparent, she stayed far away. Her private life would remain that way as she abhorred letting everyone, including their grandmothers, in on her latest escapades. Enjoying release with him guaranteed her front page news coverage. In that, she shared in common with Kakashi.

Hey, that mound of white sugar powder over there sort of looked like Ino, just all snowpig-like…

Head tilting in contemplation, Sakura suddenly blinked, and then paused in realization of her delusion thoughts. She so did not just see the blonde over there hidden under a pile of snow. Okay, definitely not a good sign of her mental state, or lack thereof. At least they were now in a forested locale closer to the snowy hills with its promise of cover. And away from the flat open plains where they started their dreadful day, she added silently.

They were getting close to the area with a series of caves that he remembered. Kakashi wearily lifted his head, looking first one way and then the other to survey the surroundings. "To your left."

Squinting through the glare reflecting off the snow and looking off to her left as directed, Sakura paused momentarily. Then she saw the small, almost hidden break in rocky outcropping. Hope lit her face, and she quickened her now-lurching pace with a muttered, "Hang tight."

It turned out to be a small pocket that opened up in a short series of turns; neither expected to see the large empty space that welcomed them, including the smaller caves branching off in the back. No complaints sounded however.

"Home, sweet home." Kakashi quipped, wavering on unsteady legs like an upright caterpillar.

Sakura scowled at the man even as she helped him inside. He was simply incorrigible. Who else would make light of this while being near frozen? "Whatever. Let's get you inside and a fire lit."

Kakashi shrugged feebly, shivers interrupting the movement. "At least the bank didn't ch-charge us for this."

Shortly thereafter, two wood fires burned safely on either side of the chamber. Sakura figured the ventilation good enough to support lighting two, and Kakashi concurred.

Though not the first time faced with treating a naked man, a slight flush had tinted her cheeks while she expertly took care of her partner's wounds, the phantom caresses of his hands fresh in her mind. Not taking a peek at his bared face and keeping her eye averted, the medic eased him to lie back in the prepared 'bed' and tucked him in carefully with an admonishment to stay awake.

She then hurried off to gather the supplies needed to build the fires, which now warmed up the cavern. The merry crackle and pop of burning sap and wood sang sweetly in her ears, and the slow warming of the chamber eased the tense set of her shoulders some. A good-sized amount of wood stood in a stack nearby ready to be sacrificed for their comfort. Her abnormal strength (she thanked Tsunade for the rigorous physical training), came in handy in hauling everything back.

"Sakura, come to bed."

The flush that had faded returned now in full force at his words. Though the pinkette knew that he did not mean it that way, it could still be misconstrued. Especially paired with his low, husky baritone and how she might have imagined his eyes tracking her every movement as she moved around the chamber setting it up…She shivered, and not from the cold. "O-of course. I'm almost done."

Fantasizing about him privately was one thing. Actually being naked and sharing a bedroll with the man was another entirely.

Hurriedly undressing, she hung up her clothing next to his on the jury-rigged laundry line (consisting of two kunai embedded into opposing rock walls with wire strung in between). For a moment, she stood behind the clothes, using it as a shield before remembering her hip. Digging around in her bag, she found an extra roll of bandages and disinfectant, the others already used in treating Kakashi. Her wound no longer bled so taking care of it the old-fashioned way would spare her chakra. She grimaced in doing so, but quickly dry-swallowed a dose of anti-inflammatory pills.

Almost feeling like a nervous bride, Sakura headed for the bed set up between the two fires. It consisted of her bedroll and whatever dry clothing she could pile on top for more insulation; regrettably, they lost Kakashi's pack that stored his sleeping bag and extra clothing to the pond.

The bed. Their bed. Kakashi already lay within the cloth cocoon, gradually warming up and awaiting her arrival. Naked.

Sakura grumbled internally. Naked, but frozen and still with the blanket pulled up to cover his face. No time for these thoughts. You need to get warmed up as well so move your butt.

Ditching her boots and socks, the kunoichi bit her lower lip and averted her eyes from his face and body as she met him underneath the covers. She never noticed how his gaze swept from tousled pink hair to painted red toes as she neared him, a banked fire overlaid by exhaustion and lethargy in his mismatched eyes.

Warmer by far of the two, Sakura slid into the area offered by his open arms and fitted to him chest to chest. Much like a puzzle piece locking into place, her head tucked snugly underneath his chin and his arms wrapped tight around her back and hips. Upon bare flesh touching bare flesh however, they both yelped in shock. Sakura did so because his body was like a block of ice. Kakashi did so (well, he actually made a small noise in the back of his throat), because even if he currently resembled a block of ice, she was another block of ice, and two blocks of ice together still equaled cold.

That moment of shock allowed them to forget the awkwardness of being naked, of being pressingly and intimately bare against each other. Instead, they concentrated on shivering and shaking and trying like heck to warm up. They focused on staying awake until both were out of the danger zone. So they talked about how the snow predators looked like the hairy bipedal monster in an old folktale, though instead of lumbering about, ran swiftly and silently.

"This is definitely all your fault," she huffed, cheek pillowed on his chest which vibrated when a noncommittal sound escaped in response. Another inhale brought with it his woodsy scent speaking of vetiver and masculinity and protection. Sakura sighed softly, unconsciously burrowing against him as their body temperatures adjusted to each other.

Slow warmth grew between them as their core temperatures rose. With shelter over their heads and the risk of dying by freezing somewhat averted, she mentally revisited how the entire mess started.

On their way back to Konoha after completing their mission, a snow beast came upon them in a rush, targeting Sakura for her smaller stature. She dodged away but not before leaving with a gash where one claw sliced her hip. Kakashi quickly engaged, not bothering to shrug off his pack; the beast turned its ferocious attention on him, savagely attacking but surprisingly not in a mindless way. Just as she came back around with a chakra-laden fist, another beast joined in the fray. Then another and yet another, apparently traveling in a pack of four even in wintertime to hunt prey.

Three of the bigger beasts converged on Kakashi, intent on taking down the human male as their animal minds registered him as being both a danger and an obstacle to the smaller quarry. The other hunted Sakura, who was rusty about fighting in deep snow as many years passed since she last visited Snow Country. Even though she floundered some and it took time and some strategy, she managed to finish it off but not without sustaining some damage.

Puffing and sweating, she ignored her bruised ribs and other injuries when they turned out to be non life threatening. Instead, Sakura searched for her partner only to see him being backhanded with extreme force by the only remaining beast into the frozen pond nearby. The pack still on his back dragged Kakashi down. Eyes widening in horror as the thin ice broke underneath the jounin's weight, Sakura surged forward, wincing in pain but working through it. The way he fell indicated unconsciousness, and time was of the essence.

The last snow beast, already weakened by Kakashi, fell to a panicked-fueled Sakura. Immediately, the kunoichi rushed to the pond's edge, clothes already off to dive in to fish a water-clogged Kakashi out of the subzero pond (sometimes panicking turned out to be a good thing).

Shaking and shivering herself as she hauled them both out and onto the snowy ground, she wrapped her cloak around her nudity and made Kakashi cough up the water he ingested while submerged. Checking his head wound, the medic nin gave a sigh of relief. It was not serious and she should be able to wake him up shortly. Drying herself briskly with the cloak and redressing, she then healed the worse of his injuries, ignoring her own as they were minor in comparison.

"We need to find shelter," she uttered under her breath while she stripped off his cloak, boots, socks, gloves and flak jacket to tie them to her pack, Sakura considered taking off even more but had nothing else to change him into. Bandaging up his feet in an attempt to keep them warm, she shouldered both her pack and him with a single refrain running through her frazzled mind: if only.

If only they were in Konoha. If only Kakashi had not acted like Kakashi. If only Sakura had not acted like Sakura. If only Tenzou had been around. Darn that man. And he's usually so reliable too!

Granted, her silver-haired partner had not meant to fall through the ice…Just like he had not meant to piss Tsunade off. However, he did to the former as well as the latter, with the latter leading to his assignment to Snow Country in the dead of winter. It inevitably led to him dragging Sakura along because misery loved company, and Tenzou could not be reached. Kakashi did so enjoy tormenting his subordinates, and Sakura, knowing how the fates loved her, happened to be in his line of sight that day. She already mentally drawn and quartered the wily dark-haired ANBU for making scarce over a thousand different ways already.

Unfortunately for the medic, who recently had the task to hide all the sake bottles in the Hokage Tower, her major role in the disappearance made itself known to Tsunade. This of course led to the vengeful smirk that appeared on the blonde's face when she approved Kakashi's request to have Sakura as his back up.

Which led them to Snow Country. To successfully completing the mission. To the snow beasts. To that dratted pond. To this cave. To them naked, together, in said cave.

"Your fault," she grumped again and rubbed her drippy nose on him.

He grunted. "You shouldn't use your bed to wipe your nose."

"You shouldn't be my bed at all. I have a perfectly good one at home. Back in the village where I should be! But no~ Someone had to drag me along because he pissed the Hokage off and needed to torment someone else because he's a sick bastard."

"Now, now, Sakura. Language." He admonished playfully, amused. "And it's not like she wasn't mad at you also."

"Ha! It's practically a tradition by now! It would have blown over in a few hours if you hadn't tossed me to the wolves."

"Did you just call Tsunade-sama a wolf? I'll have to remember to tell her…"

Sakura's mouth fell open indignantly, and she almost, almost tossed away her vow to respect his wishes by glaring at him, mask or no mask. Instead, she pinched his side and grinned evilly upon his pained grunt.

Their banter turned to other topics such as when Sakura might be assigned her own genin team (to which she had mixed feelings since it meant less free time in her already packed schedule). They discoursed over the merits of kunai made in Fire Country versus Water Country, with Kakashi offering to show her the collection amassed over many years when they got back. (Sakura squashed the mental image of him showing her in bed, but with their current position, that turned out quite difficult.)

They did not concentrate on how his legs were rough against her smooth ones. They did not register how the rise and fall of his chest pressed up into her breasts and rubbed against her hardened (from the cold!) nipples, just as her breathing caused her to rub against him. They did not comment on how his hands once again made small, circling passes where they touched her.

There were many things left unspoken but many others just simply enjoyed. The shadows cast by the flames danced upon the cavern walls and the crackle-pop of the consumed wood gave a comforting coziness to their emergency abode. Sakura got up once to add more logs to the fires, her cloak around her shoulders. Done, the pink-haired woman eagerly scampered back to bed and the warmth of his embrace with more than a little sigh of bliss as his arms closed around her slime frame again.

As they fell asleep pressed against each other, both thought the same thing: Perhaps this isn't so bad after all…

~TBC~

Chapter Notes: The set up turned out for longer than anticipated. Next up, the requested smut!

Constructive criticisms and comments always welcomed. I continually edit so let me know if you find something I need to fix, especially now that this is set in an Alternative Universe with no chakra. Feel free to PM me as well.

P.S. Yes, I am working on posting Chapter 3 of Crimson Fall (for those who are interested). It should be coming out this weekend *crosses fingers*.