Simple Together
Disclaimer: "K-ON!" the manga and anime and the song "Simple Together" belong to Kakifly, Kyoto Animation and Alanis Morrissette respectively.
Summary: Mio remembers the hopes, dreams and expectations that were dashed with an unexpected parting.
Rating: T - for foul language
The room had never felt so empty, even when nothing really had changed. The large bed at the corner, with rumpled bedsheets, still bore traces of her lingering scent. On the low table, her yellow mug still stood, unwashed. Her drumsticks carefully placed on top of the dressing table looked ready to be picked up at any moment now. Her clothes still hung on the closet, on their closet.
It was as if she was still there.
But Mio knew very well that it wasn't true.
As she laid herself down on the carpeted floor, beside the bed, her long black hair in disarray, she couldn't help but let her tears fall. She had been crying for weeks now and she had half-expected her tears to have dried up. She knew that staying in this place which she and her best friend and lover had called their home wouldn't do anything good. But she couldn't tear herself away. It was only here that she could still feel her presence. It was here that she could sometimes make herself believe that she would return, with that mischievous grin in her face.
That Ritsu would return.
Mio should have read the signs long ago.
-oOo-
She gingerly got up and looked at the empty bed. She smiled at the blanket with pink floral print. She remembered the day when they went to the supermarket, shopping for the things they would need at their new apartment. They were still giddy, still at the honeymoon phase of their relationship. It was amazing really, how smoothly (almost) the transition from best friends-to-lovers was. Of course, there were the painful times of coming out to their parents and how they had to constantly seek solace in their bandmates' arms. But ultimately, the realization of how they were so in love with each other helped them overcome those difficult times.
It didn't end there though. They had their differences. They would fight with each other over mundane things, and sometimes over serious things. They would fight about the furniture, money, time, sex—ah, the list could go on and on. Sometimes, Mio would run away in the middle of the night, crying and end up at either Mugi or Yui's place. And Ritsu would always pick her up in the morning with that apologetic look in her face. It was never easy but they always found their way back to each other.
And that time when they bought the pink floral blanket. Mio wanted it so badly because it was cute. Ritsu laughed at her taste and said it was too girly and childish. It was at that time when she felt she had enough. Everything that she liked was always too girly or childish for Ritsu, from the lyrics she wrote in high school, to the designs she picked out for their apartment. And honestly, she was fed up with being laughed at, for being dismissed. So she stormed out of the supermarket after yelling, "Ritsu you idiot!"
She didn't go to Mugi or Yui though. She just went straight home to their apartment and threw herself on the bed, wondering why they were still together even though they didn't get along most of the time. Thinking about this, she fell asleep. She woke up in the morning to find the pink floral blanket covering her, and the girl with light brown hair sitting on the floor with her head on the low table, asleep. And Mio realized then and there the reason why.
They loved each other. It was as simple as that.
-oOo-
But the cycle of disagreements and reconciliation wasn't about to broken until they had a very nasty fight when Ritsu's irresponsibility finally took its toll on Mio. At first it was just about losing things, forgetting dates and not cleaning up after herself but when it became a question of something serious like her job, things turned ugly.
"Why can't you be so serious about your job?"
"For the last time Mio, I am trying my goddamn best! I'm sorry I'm not living up to your standards! If I make you so unhappy, why don't you just leave me then? Life is not a fucking fairytale!"
Those words cut Mio deeper than any sharp knife. And tears flowed from her grayish-blue eyes and she could only whisper, "Why can't it be like that... when... I love you so much?"
Seeing her tears always moved Ritsu and she knelt down and wrapped her arms around her. She kissed the top of her head again and again while saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I promise I'll try harder."
That night, they made love with such aching tenderness that Mio understood was Ritsu's way of saying that she was willing to keep her promise. And that made Mio love her even more.
-oOo-
They were sitting on the park one winter's day, snuggling close to each other. Snow wasn't falling but the air was still freezing them both. Mio was looking at a family passing by, the little girl giggling happily at some joke her father was making. A mixture of sadness and longing assailed her. On one hand, she was remembering how she used to take a walk in the park with her parents, and the thought that now, it would never happen again. Her parents had finally accepted the fact that she was in love with another girl but they still couldn't bring themselves to welcome her back again with open arms. They were civil but no longer warm.
The other thought was of having her own children. It was true that she would never have her own, being in love with another girl, but somehow she couldn't quash that dream of becoming a mother. It was also true that she sometimes considered adoption but with the way things were going for her and Ritsu, it just wasn't possible.
Ritsu must have noticed because she whispered in Mio's ear, "When I finally get that promotion, let's adopt a child."
Mio turned her head to look at her lover's face and saw in her brown eyes that she was serious. Mio could feel her face burning with a mixture of surprise, happiness and love.
"R-Really?"
"Sure. By then, we'd be financially stable. And I promise I'd be a responsible parent!" Ritsu grinned. "And then we can go travelling and our child will be so exposed to a lot of things that—hm, do you want a boy or a girl?"
Mio laughed. "I've always wanted a little girl."
"Well then, we'd take our little girl to other countries and she'd learn a lot of languages and she'd be so smart (just like you) and she'd be so fun and adventurous (just like me) and she'd be the greatest kid ever!"
That promise wasn't so long ago. Which was why it ached now more than ever.
-oOo-
When Ritsu was down with the flu, Mio was reminded of how her lover was more physically fragile than she was. It was never obvious since Ritsu was always this bundle of energy, always on the go, always looking for fun, always with the smile on her face. But Mio had always known since Ritsu's mother confided to her once, when she and her best friend were little.
It was unfair really, how someone who had so much joy for living was also the same person who could easily be brought down by sickness.
Knowing her vulnerability, Ritsu always tried to avoid anything that could possibly make her sick. She had learned to cook for herself, so that she could eat the vegetables that she didn't like. She would make sure she had a balanced diet, exercised daily (which also translated to her preference for the physically demanding position of a drummer), and having enough sleep (which often spills over to laziness).
Which was why Mio never really thought much about it. It was true that Ritsu sometimes catch colds but because of the care she had been taking with her body, nothing was ever serious.
But the flu turned into something more deadly. Complications arose. And in Mio's frenzied state, everything was too quick, too sudden. Before she knew it, she was gone.
Ritsu was gone.
-oOo-
Mugi, Yui and Azusa came by their apartment almost every day since the wake. They offered to clean the place up but Mio refused.
"I don't want her gone... please, not yet..."
They understood and let the place alone. They still came by, bringing Mio food, keeping her company for a while. But they knew that she still needed time to grieve in her solitude.
Mio saw one of Ritsu's shirts which the latter had carelessly tossed around weeks ago (was it only weeks? it had felt like years), when she was in a hurry. It was a black turtleneck fit top. Mio picked it up from the floor and hugged it, as if she was hugging the person who had worn it. She breathed in the lingering scent that had been slowly fading away. Mio knew she had to let go soon but it was just that she and Ritsu had so many dreams together. They still had a lot to achieve, a lot to experience, a lot of good times to be had, a lot of bad times to be shared. Together.
But—
Tears fell on the black fabric.
"I guess... I was... sadly mistaken..."
(end.)
Author's Note: I'm so sorry that the first fic is quite depressing. But it just so happened that the song I was listening to was "Simple Together." I'll be trying to get happier tunes next time. And the fics aren't following a timeline, so whichever part of their lives fits the next song I'll hear, then that's it. I also appreciate song suggestions. :D
Reviews are most welcome.
And for those who are also reading my other fic, "As 1000 Nights Pass", I'm afraid I'm stumped. Sorry. I'll try to get back to it as soon as possible.