I don't own star trek…. I just wish I did.

My runaway beloved.

By Jo.

Kathryn Janeway threw her luggage bag on the floor and flopped into a chair at the deep space nine transport terminal. She had missed her transport to earth. She wasn't as young as she used to be, the wrinkles around her stressed blue eyes couldn't take this as well as they used to be able to, her grey hair showed her age but gave her an elegance she could carry with dignity and presence. Though Kathryn felt very little dignity in herself, there was more than an hour to wait for the next transport to earth and the terminal was extra busy due to many off worlders trying to make it back to earth for the year celebrations to mark the end of the Cardassian federation war.

Resting her head backwards and closing her eyes Kathryn sighed trying to find some sort of relaxing peace when one tiny word spoken by a man clearly inches from her caused a tight feeling to wash over her. "Hi." Kathryn heard. Kathryn knew that voice, it was the deep voice of a man she had shared seven dark and difficult years of her life with. Sitting up sharply and opening her eyes she was greeted by a tall, broad man in an old Mauqis uniform which in it's self was not unusual at this time of year with many celebrators dressing up for the yearly occasion. But Kathryn knew this man wore his uniform with pride, this man's uniform was the real thing, this man wore not a costume but a true heroes uniform. This man was one of the very few survivors of the Maquis, a man who had once been captain of the Maquis ship the Val Jean. Looking up at his face Kathryn saw deeper lines etched in his copper skin, a sprinkle of distinguished white in his slightly longer jet-black hair and the ever deep black lines of a tribal tattoo above the left eye. His eyes told a story of joy was he looked down at her but Kathryn also saw a deeper sense of wisdom there.

"Hello" she said simply looking up at the man who had been her first officer for seven years while she and her fellow crew had been stranded alone in the Delta Quadrant. This man, Chakotay, a brave and proud warrior had been more than a first officer; he had been a true companion to her, a confidant and even a friend.

"This seat taken?" He asked gesturing to the very clearly empty seat next to her.

"Not the last time I checked." She said still watching his jet black eyes as he sat next to her left but kept a perfect poker face and did not let on any of her emotions to him, he had expected nothing less from his former captain.

"So are you heading in or out?" he asked casually as though he had seen her only an hour before.

"Of deep space nine?" she asked still watching his eyes intently with that same poker face.

Chakotay kept his eyes from her; he didn't want to look at the deep blue eyes he had missed for so long, "yea." He said simply as he stared directly ahead of him rather than to his right where she sat, a position that now reminded him so much of their positions as the command team of the star ship Voyager.

"I'm earth bound." She told him slowly as she two turned her eyes from his to stare directly ahead. She did not offer any more information as to where she had been or what her purpose for returning to her home planet was.

Trying to try another tact at engaging in conversation with the woman who was once his dearest friend and closest companion he asked her with a tiny hint of concern and love in his voice, "How have you been?"

As Chakotay slowly turned his head to his right to look into the much missed blue eyes of his former captain he saw an aged sense of pain etched across them and a worldly wisdom of things Chakotay wished they hadn't had to look upon or endure, "fine." He heard her husky voice say from her tiny red lips that had too cracked and aged over the years but Chakotay looked at her face and saw pure beauty there, even in her wrinkled face. He noted she had put on weight but was looking very healthy, tear drops began to form in the wondrous blue eyes but still they did not look to meet his own.

"I see." He said slowly still watching her, his expression of worry was still clear on his older face.

"Yourself?" She asked him quickly, almost as a polite after thought rather than out of genuine interest.

This was something Chakotay didn't miss and so with a half smile he replied, "just great." After she said nothing else he asked cautiously "Kathryn, why did you go?" tears were welling up in his own eyes now.

Snapping her head to face his as she gave him a glare she snapped, "I didn't go Chakotay."

With a sigh he reached to take her hand in his but she pulled away quickly. "It's been nearly twenty years, the crew of Voyager haven't seen you since you ran off the day after we flew into to Alpha Quadrant." He told her sadly as he watched for a flicker of emotion on her rather controlled face.

"Well now you have seen me you can tell them how I am." She told him turning from him so he could no longer see her beautiful face.

"But I don't know how you are" he told her sadly "really" he whispered, all she did was turn to look at him, when she said nothing but stared unemotionally into his eyes he whispered, "Kathryn."

"How's Seven?" she spat at him with great bitterness though she gave the sense of trying desperately to contain her bitter pain in her words.

Chakotay stared back at her in confusion and horror, "Seven?" he questioned.

"Yes Chakotay," she hissed through gritted teeth, it was hard to control her pain, "Seven of Nine, your wife" she gashed through the last words as they brought her pain.

"Seven of Nine?" Chakotay staggered, "My wife?" he asked so very completely unsure what to say next, he was very shocked at her words "Kathryn have you completely lost it?" he asked slowly as he searched her eyes for any sign what this was all about.

"Chakotay I have seen some lows in my time but denial is a crude way to meet an old acquaintance." She said standing. As she grabbed her luggage bag from the floor she turned to face Chakotay who had now too stood. "I know Chakotay," she said accusingly as she looked him in the eye, "I heard she got married ten years ago."

In shock Chakotay staggered as he began to ask her, "And you thought I-"

But she cut across him. Angrily she raised her voice, she didn't care who looked their way, "I knew Chakotay!" All the pent up pain and hurt and rejection of twenty years came out then, "I knew when we flew Voyager into the Alpha Quadrant!" He just stood shacking his head, She was referring to the stupid ridiculous fling he had with the young attractive Seven of Nine back then, something she was never supposed to know about. "I lost you" Kathryn whispered in pain as he watched as tears fell from her eyes, "That Chakotay, is why I left." She told him. Causing horror to wash over him, the stupid three day 'fun' he had with the childlike Borg drone all those years ago had been the reason the love of his life, Kathryn, had left. "Why did you never tell me?" She asked painfully as a pain was cutting deep in his heart.

"Kathryn-" he began but Kathryn could not bear the answer, she believed he loved Seven and had been happily married to her for the last ten years.

"Your still denying it even now!" She shouted across him not letting him talk; taking a deep breath and making her decision she said sternly as she looked up into his eyes, "that's why I am going again."

With that she turned and ran, moving her small body through the crowds of people, "Kathryn!" Chakotay called after her, "Kathryn wait!" She did not turn and fear washed over Chakotay, he wanted her to know the truth before she left him for another twenty years, she deserved that much. "Kathryn Seven married the Doctor!" He called after her but he didn't think she heard she just kept barging past people and was nearly out of Chakotay's sight. "Kathryn for twenty years I have been searching the galaxy for you!" he shouted as he tried to run after her, pushing past people as he went but soon he could see her tiny body no more. "Kathryn!" He shouted one last hopeful time but she did not come to him.

Dropping his head and watching as a tear fell from his eye to his shoe. He had lost her once again and it had taken him twenty years to find her again, he whispered to himself, "I love you my run away beloved."