Chapter 1

Goofy and Max (and "Eye to Eye") are owned by Walt Disney Company. Tiny Toon Adventures (and theme song) are the property of Warner Brothers.

It was bright afternoon when Max Goof drove through Campus. The sun soared, the birds chirped, students picnicked. And Max savored nature's glory by riding on his golf cart across the square. The vehicle was a privilege granted from the Gammas Fraternity. When Bradley Upperclass III was removed after his actions in the X Games, the Gammas invited Max and his friends to join them. Quickly, Max rose from the ranks, from resident to head leader. It was such a wonderful feeling to be accepted by such cool people. No more Maxie the Goof. He had become Gamma Maximus!

Much of his success was based on his own talents, though Max did admit his father's absence was also a good factor. After getting his diploma, dad was invited to teach physical education (!) at some obscure school in a place called Acme Acres. Dad liked the job, and liked the students he had, whom he described to Max in letters. That made Max happy. Anything that kept his father away meant happiness. Okay, Max admitted, perhaps he was being a little too hard on his old man, especially during his dad's senior year. But that was in the past. Father and son had their own lives now and doing great at it.

Speaking of which…Max spotted a rather beautiful girl walking the sidewalk he was riding upon. Her name was Lucrezia. She was a hot lady of the campus. A pretty face and a body with much distinction, she had an aloofness about her, which made getting her affections a challenge for those who dared. Max dared, and to his surprise, she had taken a shine to him. "Is this your lucky day?" He spoke out, stopping the cart to grab her.

Lucrezia turned with a cool look. "Define luck," Her words were cross but the kiss she gave him made the tone artificial. "Will I be seeing you at the party tonight?"

"Hey, I'm the host remember?" Max gently put Lucrezia back to her feet. "And I know I'll be seeing you, Lu."

Lucrezia seemed interested. "I love men with power," she quipped, patting his cheek.

Max could practically melt from her touch. But he stayed firm, kissing her goodbye and drove away. As that gal showed, tonight was going to be a lot of promise! Fun over, Max got to reality. At his side were a bunch of newly delivered mail. Quickly he checked them. Junk, junk, junk. A letter from dad, from Acme Looniversity. Dad just seemed to miss the spelling!

Max drove to the driveway and stopped to read the letter.

Dear Maxie,

My students are so excited to meet you. So I got permission from the principal to…

Max froze at the last line. Take the kids on a field trip to your college next weekend.

Max sighed. Well, at least it would be next weekend. That solace fell when his eyes did the same thing on the date of the letter. Last week's date!

And suddenly a loud noise raised his long ears. It sounded like a bus. In fact, it is a bus, roaring out of control at his direction. There was no time to hit the gas. Max cringed for the impact. To die so young and popular!

And the bus stopped instantly a few inches away from Max's cart. Max sighed in his salvation, then turned to anger. What moron drove this thing? He checked the front. It had some hood ornament of a green duck. Correction: a living green duck. This duck peeled himself from the front, hitting the ground. Max got off his cart to check. His presence caught the victim's cruel eyes. Feathered hands clutched his jacket lapels. "You are in serious trouble, teach! When the Society for the Protection and Preservation of Mallards hears about this, you'll…say, when did you get so short?"

The realization struck like a flint in Max's head. That meant the moron who drove this bus is…

The opening of the doors cried out with Ah-yuck! The sound sent Max out of consciousness.

"Maxie? Maxie?"

In a haze, Max's lips felt the touch of another. He thought he was kissing Lucretia. It felt such a moving kiss, packing much power. Max fell into the influence. And then his eyes opened to find a purple skunk cleaning his tonsils. This sent him sitting up and coughing before his calm kisser.

"Back with ze living?" The skunk spoke with a French accent. She looking very pleased.

And then Max fell into the warm arms of his father George G. Goof. "Thanks for the mouth-to-mouth, Fifi."

"A pleasure," Fifi coyly touched her lips. "Your son is as handsome as vu, Monsieur Goof."

Max was struck by the strangeness of the compliment.

"He's a chip off the old block! I'm so glad you're okay, Maxie!" Goofy hugged his son, who seemed a little dazed. "Hey, everybody! This is muh son Maxie!"

Max looked upon this surrounding group of bunnies, ducks, pigs, a strange-looking freak of a girl, and all the other creatures.

"Now everyone," Goofy turned to the kids. "Give me a minute an' know who's here." He pulled out a list. "Buster and Babs Bunny…"

"No relation." The two said.

"Gawsh, I keep fergettin'," Goofy apologized. "Plucky Duck…"

"Here," the mallard dragged those words with a sneer.

The naming went on. Hampton J. Pig, Shirley Loon ('Like, here!" she cried), Fifi (who made another amorous wink at Max), Li'l Sneezer, Furball, Sweetie, Elmyra (the weird-looking kid), Dizzy Devil, Li'l Beeper, Calamity Coyote…

"Calamity Coyote!"

"Calamity Coyote!"

"Dad," Max got his father's attention to the student in question, bearing a sign marked Here!

"Oops, sorry." Dropping the list, Goofy strut next to his son with a hand on his shoulder. "Kids, this is muh son, Maximillian Goof."

"You already said that, dad!" Max kept his dignity. "Um, pleased to meet all of you."

"Thrilled," Babs smiled.

"Your old man told us so much about you," added Buster.

As Max tried to reply, he saw Buster pull his ears down and stretch out his snout. Babs suddenly put on a Powerline suit. And then they danced. "If we listen to each other's heart, we find we're not very far apart, and maybe love is the reason why, the first time we'll be seeing it eye to eye!"

Max watched stunned as his father joined Buster in the dance. Their dance. Max wasn't sure what was weirder: Babs' straight-on impersonation of Powerline or Buster's frighteningly accurate impersonation of himself. And how the impersonator and his father clicked together in moves…

"They…know about that?" Max was surprised…not in a good way.

Buster returned to character. "Your old man showed us the video! Great moves, Goofster!"

"Max," the son corrected, cringing at that name, and at that memory. Powerline was so passé. Much to his chagrin, a crowd was gathering.

"Now allow us to show you our number." Babs blew a flute, then she and Buster went into a song. It started out simple to Max. Then it quickly got uncomfortable the way everyone got at his face.

"We're tiny, we're toony,

We're all a little looney.

And in this afternoon-nie

We invade the university!"

We're comic dispensers

We crack up all the censors!

From Tiny Toon Adventurers, get a healthy dose of comedy!

From Acme Looniversity,

We earn our toon degrees,

The teaching staff's been getting laughs since 1933!

We're tiny, we're toony, we're all a little looney, we're Tiny Toon Adventurers! Come and join the fun!

And now our song is done!

"Funny," Goofy added, "I thought it was 1932…"

Max made a small giggle; not the 'I-love-your-number' type, but the nervous laughter one gets when around certain scary weird things. The gathering, however, clapped more willingly at such a presentation.

"They like us!" Babs hugged Buster. "They really like us!"

Max kept a smile. Like a steel trap. "So dad, how long are you staying?"

"The whole weekend!"

Getting the scariest line ever, Max began to hyperventilate. His long-sought popularity heading to an onslaught!

Goofy ignored his son's plight, walking to his students. "Now, everyone pick a buddy, so we all won't get lost."

They did. Babs and Buster, Plucky and Hampton, Shirley and Fifi. Furball (after an attempt to grab Sweetie) was given to Elmyra. Sweetie got Beeper, while Dizzy joined with Calamity (as the sign he held implied).

There was one outsider. "Um, -sir-I-don't-have-a-buddy-do-I-have-to-be-all-alone-or-do-I-have-to-go-back-home…" Li'l Sneezer asked.

"No sirree," Goofy kindly picked the mouse up. "Y'll be my buddy." Sneezer kissed him. "Shucks…"

Max's anxiety continued. Time to cut it off! "Yeah, this is all great and all, but I have to drive this cart back…"

"Great!" Goofy interrupted.

Max enforced himself. Wait for it…

"Take the kids wit' ya an' show them the place. I'll get the bus to the hotel. You can meet me there!"

Max despaired, a contrast to the students jumping for joy. Any protest came in vain. Goofy and his buddy were off, riding the vehicle as crazy as before. This left Max with his students. Already the first impressions gave their scars to forever identify them. All the kids jumped aboard the cart. Of course, this meant much compaction, meaning some of the kids had to sit on the roof.

Max sighed as he scrunched himself to his driver's seat.

"For the sake of repeating dialogue," Buster planted himself. "Your pop said you're great with the board!"

"Guilty as charged," Max smirked. Despite his reluctance, he couldn't refuse any praise to his pride. "I'm different from my dad. Nothing like him."

"Really?" said several of the kids. There was some concern in that reply.

"That's too bad," said Buster. "He's a lot of fun."

Max rolled his eyes to that remark, a chance of sarcasm.

Babs dressed up like some sultry model. "He makes us laugh," she remarked with a sultry voice.

"No argument there," Max spoke uneasy. "My dad is a goof."

His uneasy tone of voice was not ignored. "And what's wrong with that?" Buster added. "He's a great teacher!"

Max stilled. More astonishment by the nonchalance! "We're talking about the same guy, are we? I'm talking about a prat-fall accident-prone…uh, good guy."

"Really?" Babs seemed surprised. "We were thinking of a prat-falling, accident-prone good guy. Guess it's the eye of the beholder."

Max noticed the wit in the girl rabbit's words. "So it doesn't bother you?"

"Of course not!" Babs denied. "You?"

Max quickly shook his head. "No…No. It doesn't." His denial was not made in relief.

"Step on it, Jeeves!" Plucky ordered.

Feeling that remark, Max nevertheless complied. He stepped on the brakes, hoping to shorten the tour. "Here's the campus, here's the library, the football team…"

Plucky popped out with glasses and a greasepaint mustache. "So where are the girls?"

Max didn't notice one of the passengers getting off. Beeper stuck a tongue to Calamity and zoomed away. An angry Calamity retaliated by pulling out a remote control. Acme Vehicle Controller. A button was pushed…

The cart stopped, much to Max's shock. Then it turned directly left, and zoomed after the roadrunner.

"Hey, wait a second!" Max turned the wheel in vain. The vehicle went as wild as the bus his dad drove. It careened to the point of falling, bumped to the point of breaking. Some weird twist of fate kept everything together in its wild ride after Beeper. And where Beeper went, the cart followed…

To the girls' dormitory. The cart roared through the building. One furious run, coupled with a thousand screams, and a thousand slaps, the cart continued its merry way.

Next they came to the great pond! Beeper sped upon the waters. The cart dived and drove through its deepest level, submerging back to the surface. Fortunately, everyone wore a snorkel. Everyone save Max, spitting out water like a fountain. He wasn't the only one unprotected. Calamity's remote controller short-circuited. To him and Max's knowledge but no one else, the cart was out of control!

Now the cart was heading to the construction for the new study hall. It charged upon the skeletal construction. It rode on narrow planks it could easily miss, through giant pipes that might end up in the air. The cart fell, dropped, lifted, spun…

Max was ready to go crazy. And then…It all stopped. Was he in heaven?

No, he was right at the hotel. The kids came out, none the worst in their experience. Its driver, however, buried himself against the wheel.

"That was cool, Max!" was the most remarks. Not all was praise. "The next chance to see the afterlife," Sweetie mentioned, "I'll ask you."

Goofy joined the scene, pleased to see everyone. Buster hopped to him and gave him a four by hand-slap. Max watched this reunion. No wonder these kids had no trouble with his dad: They were just like him! Again, such knowledge bothered him.

"Thanks Maxie!" Goofy congratulated his son. "Knew ya never let anyone down."

"Thanks…I think. You have some…interesting students!"

"Howabout ya get t' know them better at dinner?"

"NO…I mean, I have a party at the Gammas." Max covered his mouth as if it said some blasphemy.

"A party!" cried Plucky. Max did not like to hear that tone.

"Aw no," Goofy refused. "Let Max enjoy his fun. We got fun of our own." He turned to the hotel. "See ya, tomorrow, Max."

"Um, yeah…" Max stared at his departing father. "See ya…" His dad is actually leaving him alone? He should be jumping into the air at such an opportunity! But seeing his dad walking away, talking happily with his students (especially the one named Buster), Max couldn't summon any glee. Instead, he felt bothered.

Soon after settling in, Goofy found a major setback. "You're sick?"

Goofy spoke the obvious according to Plucky's condition. He was sweating, groaning, sticking his tongue out from the side of his beak. "It must…have been that chill. I…should have stayed home, but the wish to see your son overrode my common sense."

"Oh No!" Goofy was very concerned. Babs and Buster were also concerned…that Plucky was up to something. They kept silent.

"Well, I guess we'all have to stay then!"

"No!..." Plucky gave a potent answer, before returning back to type. "I mean…Don't ruin everybody's vacation on my behalf!" With an elongated hand, he pulled Hampton to his side. "My best friend, Hampton will stay at my bed, feeding me soup, cleaning the sheets damped with my sweat. You go…I'll be alright." He coughed some more.

"Well, if you say so," Goofy sadly bowed to Plucky's assurance. Then it was time to leave. "Take care," Buster spoke pessimistically.

As soon as all were gone, Plucky made an energetic jump in opposite to his assumed condition.

"Plucky?" Hampton was shocked. "You weren't sick at all?"

"Oh get over it! We are going to part-ee!"

Duck and Pig headed to the Gamma House. The Fraternity party was in full swing. Beer cans already littered the lawn. Plucky's ignorance to this mess was as big as Hampton's discomfort.

Plucky knocked at the door in full confidence.

Answering the door was a thuggish bouncer. "ID." He coldly demanded with a threat in the tone.

Plucky pulled a card out. Y. Kulp Duck. Age 30.

Plucky smiled…and that got kicked out. Hampton just followed.

Plucky was undaunted. He tried the delivery pizza act. That too did not work out. Nor did playing a keg buddy. Or a police officer. All wash-outs.

Hampton sat by watching every disaster, always ending with his friend landing to him. "Gee, Plucky. Maybe we should go back?"

"Never! This little green duck has not begun to fight!"

Max moved his way through the partygoers. "Hail Gamma Maximus!" was their cry. Music to his ears. Speaking of which, the music was loud, the guests wild, the place becoming more and more a mess. The perfect party. Max spotted his colleagues. There was Block, a big type of muscleman holding the door. There was Tank, the remaining Gamma from Bradley's old team, now a good friend. And there was Xander Eghed. A handsome kid with glasses, he was the Gammas' intellectual, which might as well be an oxymoron with its regular members. He was also Max's best friend. "Max, might I remind you of next week's engagement…"

"Xander, why don't you relax and have fun?" Max urged his friend to loosen up. He looked to Lucrezia. "I got tonight's engagement."

Xander looked and understood.

Soon, Max and Lucrezia were outside the porch. The mood was right. With her, Max could forget everything. His dad's impromptu visit, those looney kids, etc. He lost thought as he looked at her eyes. The gal was ever so mesmerizing to Max. She leaned back onto the fence. Max did not hesitate. He bloomed his lips and kissed her yellow beak.

A second of mutual gagging later, Plucky spoke. "Maxie buddy! Remember me, friend of the family?"

"Who's he?" Lucrezia asked with annoyance.

"One of my dad's students." Max was less flattering. "No need to bother." He lunged for the duck.

"Loving the party!" Plucky gave out his flatteries. "Cool babe of a girlfriend."

Max pulled the duck away from Lucrezia to a corner. "You are not supposed to be here!" His worry about Plucky's age led to a more frightening thought. "Does Dad know about this?"

"Of course not! I fooled your old man with the sick act. Bet you did the same thing."

"As a matter of fact…," Max swung back to the priority. "Look, I am not a fool like my dad. So get out…"

Plucky did not cringe to this adversity. He begged. "Oh, please honor a young duckling his first taste of the college life!"

Max was not won over. "Block!"

The bouncer came to the scene. Seeing him, Plucky retaliated. "Okay, you forced me to use force!" He grabbed Max's long ear and whispered.

Max's face turned white. "He told you that?"

Plucky's grin was the confirmation of truth. He took out a big scroll. Max was stunned at how long it trailed to the end of the porch. "Max was interested in physical conditioning at an early age. So proud in exhibiting its beauty that at age 1, he ran outside completely…

Max grabbed the scroll, rolled it up into a ball, and shoved it into the duck's mouth. He swallowed it with difficulty.

"Alright!"

Plucky jumped for joy, then quickly regained a more dignified stance. "Oh, and don't forget the pig!"

He grabbed both kids. "If you excuse me, Lu." He stormed off. Lucretia wasn't exactly disappointed.

Max's attempt to preserve his own dignity had sneaking Plucky and Hampton to his room. It was a huge apartment, with its own spacious bathroom. A suite perfect for Gamma Maximus.

Plucky was impressed at the caveats. Hampton saw things differently. "Does your dad know your room is a mess?"

Max ignored the insult, wishing to keep these crasher as out of sight & mind as possible. He had spent months getting to the top. He won't risk losing it. "Later." He shut the door.

Plucky pulled at the door knob. "He's locked us in! Why that creep! Treating us guests! Well, he isn't going to ruin my crashing!" He pushed the window open, and climbed out of it.

Hampton considered following his friend, but the sheer clutter of the room called to him like a siren. Time to suit up!

Goofy's dinner with the kids had a guest in Sylvia Marpole the Librarian. It was she who convinced Goofy to take the job at the Acme Looniversity even though it meant some distance between them. Fortunately, the distance did little harm to their relationship, if the constant lovely looks were any evidence. Especially if one witness was a certain purple skunk who had a massive crush on her teacher, and thus could not help but stare daggers at that other woman.

"See kitty!" Elmyra said to her capti…cat Furball. "Goofy-woofie and Sylvia-wiffia, are gonna get squeezy-wheezy with each other."

"Oui," Fifi agreed with a voice full of acid. The intensity of her clutched hands could tear the wood off the table. Shirley noticed some very negative vibes.

"Such a cute class," Sylvia didn't pay any mind, except for Elmyra. "Strange looking girl, though."

"You should see her boyfriend. He's also named Max." Too bad he didn't come. Said something about not going unless his Maxie changed his name. A rather moody child, just like his Max.

A fat waiter came to the table. "And how shall I…Mr. G!"

"We'll have the buffet…P.J.!" Goofy was just as happily surprised. He arose to the waiter and patted his shoulder. "Kids, this is my son's best buddy- P.J.!"

Like Max, P.J.'s introduction was not happily approved by the named.

"Ooooo! Another kitty-widdy!" cried Elmyra. Furball took advantage at the ease of her grip. Freedom!

"Run for your dear life!" Buster gave the gravest of cautions to P.J..

"O-kay…" P.J. tread carefully on the weirdness of this situation, "Well, the dinner buffet is open. So bon' appetite!"

With a cheer, the group of toons scampered out of the table, leaving only P.J., Goofy, and Sylvia.

P.J. was very anxious, not wishing to leave, but getting to his priorities. "I gotta get to the next table."

Goofy understood. "Well, stop by at the hotel when you're done."

P.J. seemed okay with the invitation. "Will Max…be there?"

"Nah, he's got a party."

"Oh." P.J. sadly nodded, an expression not missed by Goofy.

Meanwhile, Buster and Babs had their own anxiety. "I'm worried about Hampton," Babs mentioned.

"Telepathic are we?" Buster revealed his own anxiety.

"I could be just crazy, but I think he went to that party Goofy Jr. went to."

"Well, crazy, I think we might go there too."

Fifi interrupted their situation. "May I join zee?"

Max's door was supposed to be locked, but it opened just the same. Xander and Lucretia snuck in with thoughts you shouldn't see in a story like this.

"What if Max finds out?"

"The bigger risk." Xander smiled wickedly. "Greater the challenge." Lucrezia liked that very much.

They opened the bathroom door, where thousands of soap suds came flooding out. And out popped Hampton in a white suit. "Job done." The bathroom shined from his efforts.

Lucrezia was not impressed to see soap dots stain her dress. Neither was Xander impressed. Angry was more like it. "Out!" He kicked the pig out of the bedroom. Hampton's velocity unfortunately knocked into Block as he was enjoying his break from bouncing. He turned his glowing eyes upon the poor pig.

Max wandered the halls. After leaving those kids, Max was stopped by Xander. It seemed some guests wanted to see his skateboard tricks. Max couldn't let anyone down, so he performed a few stunts. Once that was done, an hour had gone by. He got back into the house to search for Lucrezia.

A door opened. "Max…" A soft voice from the darkness, barely audible in the party, still managed to get to him. The room was dark, but Max found it welcome. Entering it, he heard a different tune. Burt Bacharach's "The Look of Love" played its romance, fulfilling Max's prediction. His hand excitingly touched the light switch. "And tell me, what do we have here?" He spoke in play. "Is it Lu-"

The end of darkness saw to the end of Max's words, not to mention the end of his mood.

"Bonjour, Maximillian…" Fifi sprawled her nimble body upon a bed, very excited.

Max, not exactly uncomfortable by this presentation, but not happy about it either, backed a few steps. "What are you doing here?"

"Isn't it obvious, monsieur?" Fifi was coy, swinging her legs into the air. "I heard there was a party, no?" Before Max could answer, Fifi jumped him. "Oh, let me be your keg of consuming amour!" She kissed and fondled him passionately.

"Get off of me!" He protested. "What the heck is my dad going to think?"

"He won't care…" she added. "I think he will find it wonderful to see his son- how do you say it?- get along with his students."

"With his brain…or lack of it, I doubt it."

Fifi's carefree ardor was cut short. "Monsieur Goof is a wise man," She grew cold. "How dare you speak such things! You, his own flesh and blood!

The accusation cut into Max. Indeed it was an insult, especially said from someone who actually liked his dad.

And then Lucrezia entered. She seemed upset, and Max probably gathered that it was about this situation. "It's not what you think!"

Seeing this moment, Fifi grew a face of cruel smugness. "I see…"

"See what?" Lucrezia stood her ground.

"I did not know Maximiliian dealt with such quality…"

Lucrezia paused and stanced. "You better not mean what you're implying!"

"Imply what- How shall you say it? Cheap!"

Max ran in front of the impacting girls. He grabbed Fifi and ran for his room. The door was opened. Oh no…

As Max would see, things got bad to worse. He ran downstairs where a dance was commencing. In this babel of partygoers, he could spot a blue rabbit and a pink rabbit popping out, calling out 'Plucky' or 'Hampton.' How did they get here? He repeated the question loudly to a fellow Gamma.

"Some rich kids: the Vanderbunnies!" he shouted.

Max soon realized that how meant nothing: what if their teacher shows up?

One of the kids in Buster and Babs' search was helping some partygoers with their billiard game. Hampton's assistance was done by being wedged into one of the gutters. He became target practice of many a player, cheered by the cries of "Oink Oink!"

"My turn!" Tank grabbed a cue.

"Ladies first…" Babs took the cue stick. She got on the table, pointing her stick on the ball with the skill of a player. "In the center pocket!" She struck. The ball beaned Block.

"Eat your heart out, Tom Cruise!"

Meanwhile, Buster freed Hampton. "Don't worry buddy!"

"Worry about yourselves!" Block recovered. He and several partygoers swarmed around the table. Fortunately, their attack missed Babs and Buster's sudden hop with their literally swinish passenger.

Too bad they landed before Max. He was on his last nerve of civility. "Get outta here!"

"We're missing a duck."

And then Plucky landed in a crash. Now that was settled, Buster and Babs looked to Hampton, who looked even worse, unless a Goth gave him advice on eye-shadow. Max was equally shocked.

"My butterball!" Fifi came to the pig's side. "What has happened?"

"Some guys were using my head for billiard balls. Called me a dirty pig," Hampton's almost-tearful response showed names hurt more than billiard cues and balls.

"Okay!" Buster took on confrontation. "You can manhandle Plucky all you want!"

"Hey!"

Babs joined in. "But nobody- I mean NOBODY- hurts Hampton!"

Max stood his defense. "What makes you think my friends had anything to do with it?"

"Oh, I dunno," Buster played confused. "Maybe it's the joy in their faces."

Indeed, the Gamma residents, gathered around Max, had pleasant expressions contrasting with their leader's seriousness.

"You calling us liars?" Block made his steps. Tank joined him.

"This is a trick question, huh?" Buster added.

"Maybe your pig is the liar." Tank made big steps.

"Hampton's no liar!" Plucky added his ground. "Believe me, I tried."

"Hold it, guys!" Max urged command and order.

Tank stopped. Block, however, wasn't so easily tamed. In fact, his cruel glare fell on Max. "Why you…" Then Xander tapped his back. "Calm down…" His urging in whisper carried much. Block relented.

"Look, Buster!" Max spoke defense. "If my boys got rough, they'd tell me. They weren't the only ones at this party. And they weren't the ones who came uninvited." There were wolf calls and cheers.

Babs was a fury of woman scorned. "Why, you poor excuses for a final act comeuppance!" She growled.

Max cut in. "This is no place for you kids!"

Buster stood his ground. "Well, let me tell you Max: Us kids can beat you bums in anything!"

Max stood to that veiled insult.

"You think you can take us on?" Tank laughed.

"We're the ones who can think, bucko!" Babs added.

"Name the sports, we can beat you!" cried a Gamma.

"Are you serious?" Max raised his voice, to the Toons. "You don't wanna do this!"

Buster stood his ground. "Oh, yes I will!"

"Oh, no you won't!"

"Oh, yes I will!"

"Oh, no you won't!"

Rabbit came closer. OH, YES I WILL!"

Max intimidated as well. "OH, NO YOU WON'T!"

"OH, YES I WILL!"

"OH, NO, YOU WON'T!"

Buster got louder. "OH, NO YOU WON'T!"

"OH, YES I WILL!"

"OH, NO YOU WON'T!"

"YES I WILL!"

"OH, NO YOU WON'T!"

Max stamped his foot, and cried out, deafening the music. "Listen! For this weekend, the Gammas will compete against the Acme University, and send them packing!"

"Fine!" Buster smiled.

There was a loud cheer from his men. Max was equally jubilant…and then his eyes bulged to being duped.

The Tiny Toons turned to the door. Tank blocked the way.

"Time for some girl power, Fifi!" Babs asked her friend.

"Right!" Fifi confronted the man with her tail. "I have a musk, and am not to use it. Understand, no?"

With that, Tank, not to mention anyone nearby, enacted the opening of the Red Sea. The kids left the house. Max kept to his reserve of nerves. His dad always knew how to ruin his day…

"So that's the problem, Mr. G."

Pete Jr. took Goofy's invitation and met him back at the hotel. He described to him what had happened since Goofy graduated. The father sat very confused. That no-good Bradley Upperclass III resigned from the Gammas. The leaderless fraternity asked Max to join them. Max only relented on one condition: That P.J. and Bobby were accepted. It happened. This was weird, P.J. related, because there was no initiations or pledging for them. "And Gamma is notorious with its pledges."

At first, P.J. enjoyed the privileges, but soon Max was rising in ranks, quickly becoming the head Gamma. And P.J. then saw little time with his best friend. He originally thought it looked like growing responsibilities, but it seemed the Gammas were really excluding him away from Max. "Max got different, like something out of Invasion of the Body Snatchers." When he tried to explain things, Max scoffed. "Then he accused me of being jealous, that I wanted to hold him back because I couldn't do as well as him. Me and Bobby instantly left the Gammas. Never talked to Max since."

Goofy noticed anger in P.J., but also saw sadness. "I don't believe Max could be like that."

"You know Max. He's always so obsessed about popularity. The Gammas gave it to him on a silver platter, and he stuffed himself with it." He had something on his mind. "Maybe I'm angry about it, but somehow I think there's more to this than we know. That Max is in big trouble."

This alarmed Goofy. "Then you should help him."

"No way!" P.J. protested. "I've done enough for your son. Let Max get out of this himself!"

"I don't believe you," Goofy became serious. "No matter what, you're his friend. I knew that when I told Maxie to be your friend when we first came to Spoonerville."

P.J. didn't deny it, but he did not give much agreement. "Max really takes you for granted." He stood up and left. "See ya, Mr. G. I really missed you."

P.J.'s departure coincided with the arrival of Buster and co., and their news. Goofy was shocked to see Plucky's recovery, and Hampton's sudden injury. There was more.

"You did what?" Goofy was shocked to Buster's confident revelation.

"Don't worry Teach! We got it made!"

Goofy was uncertain. "But we'll be competing against muh boy!"

"Personally, I think Max needs the humble pie."

Remembering P.J.'s words, Goofy figured some sense in the words. "Ya got a point there…But ya still did this like a chicken without a noggin."

Babs gave her most pathetic look. "Are you gonna have us refuse?"

Goofy looked at their hopeful confidence. "Nah. We compete!"

Babs changed gears, making a cheerleader stance. "Say, gang! What do ya say! Who's with us?"

She got some silence, some 'I don't knows,' and other excuses.

Babs was incredulous. "I said: WHO'S WITH US?"

The needed response hit the right explosive effect.

Goofy walked out of the room. This wasn't what he planned for this weekend trip. And lo and behold there stood Max at the end of the lobby. He was not happy. "So you've heard…" He demanded answers.

"Yep." Goofy said with optimism.

The tone sent Max reeling. "Please tell me you're not going along with this match!" Seeing the truth brought him to sigh. "Dad, you've gotta put an end to this!"

"Can't ya do the same?"

"My fraternity is all fired up. No way I can persuade them! If I do, they might turn against me!"

Goofy touched his chin, looking with an awareness he isn't usually credited for possessing.

"If your students fight the Gammas, they're going to be annihilated!"

"Now, give muh students credit. You also proved a lot of older kids wrong too."

"That was different!" Max didn't have a defense after that remark. "Dad. Your students started this mess by crashing my party. You don't believe my friends would hurt Hampton?"

"Well, I'd believe muh boys over your Gamma friends. Did ya see what they did t' Hampton? I don't think the Gammas have changed as much as you wanna believe." Goofy continued on, but Max had become deaf to his words. The word 'Muh Boys' repeated itself many a time in his head. His father's endearment- a title once solely belonging to him- broke the last nerve. "Well, I'm standing by muh boys!"

"Now, hold it Max! P.J. said…"

"You talked to Peej!" Max exploded. "Peej is just a jealous dork who can't stand that I'm finally making it out of loserville!"

Goofy stared at his son. P.J.'s explanations didn't warn him about this! "Maybe you're taking the Gammas way too seriously."

"What, no way am I going back to being Max the Goof!"

"Now son…"

But Max wasn't backing down. He fired back. "Didn't I tell you to stay out of my life!"

Goofy paused like a wounded animal. Max's words were a repeat of that horrible, hurtful confrontation they had a year back. But he regained composure, not with a father's anger, but with a father's love. "If that's how ya put it. I reckon ya want me outta yuir hair right?" His own words hurt. "Well, if ya beat muh boys, I'll never visit or call ya again."

Inside, Max would never want such distance, but right now there was no listening to such inner feelings. "Fine!"

Goofy smarted from that agreement, but he faced Max. "And if muh boys win, ya will quit the Gammas!"

Max opened his mouth at such a desire. How could he dare make him agree to such a punishment? Shock changed back to angry resolve. "Fine!"

At that, father and son separated in a storm. Only one really regretted the possible cost of defeat. Goofy sadly returned to his room. He was going to lose his son…

All his students were making strategies for tomorrow's games. So confident they looked. Their spirit was engrossing. Goofy was filled with faith. We will win. He will not lose his son.

"And that's how it ended. Seems we've got a problem on our hands."

Max recounted this to Xander. He was the go-to guy for any problem. He had helped Max settle in his role as Gamma leader, a position Xander humbly refused. Max, he said, had the ability to make the Gammas into something better than when Bradley was in charge. He was also a comfort when P.J. and Bobby left the group and Max. So as ever, Max told him his problems, hoping he would give some advice that would help.

"Max…" Xander shined his glasses. "Losing this game is out of the question. I'm not saying that because of the Gammas' honor. I can't…I mean, we can't afford to lose you."

"But what about the alternative? I want my dad out of my life, but this sounds a bit severe. This means he won't visit Sylvia ever again."

"So she can visit him instead. Distance makes the heart grow fonder."

"But my dad…"

"Who cares about your dad? This is your life, Max, not his. He shouldn't have come here intruding on it. This match will finally prove to him to stay out and leave you your space."

Max nodded to the good points.

"Besides, from what you've told me, he's got his own life now. He doesn't need you anymore."

Max was silent.

Xander's eyes sharpened at Max's reaction. "Hey, Max, snap out of it! You can't go back to what you were. You can only progress. Be like Claudius Drusus!"

Claudius Drusus. The name rang in Max's head. According to Xander, he was the son of Claudius, a clumsy, limping, idiot stammerer. The son desired to prove himself to be nothing like his father. This name and Xander's other words made Max's uncertainty leave him. He patted Xander's shoulder. "Do or die!" He slapped his friend's hand.

Xander smiled in reciprocation. It was not for reasons Max would realize. He left the room, out of the hall, out of the house. It was in shadows that he entered. Free of notice, he took out a cellphone. He spoke to someone. His words did not sound flattering for a best friend. "The Goof kid really got his foot in it. Shall we do something?"

He listened. He agreed. "Fine. Things shall continue to go as planned."

If a late night's sleep gave Max remorse for his behavior last night, he didn't let it control him. He kept his resolve as he awoke to morning. The days of sleeping in had gone since he became Gamma Maximus. He walked into his bathroom, which had become glisteningly clean (Perhaps the job of a pledge, Max gave little attention to the matter). He had to discuss things with Xander on how to best compete with those Acme kids. Now, Max didn't want to crush his father's students. Kids getting defeated by young adults sounded a bit like bullying, and Max was no bully. Still, this kid-gloves sensitivity did not mean any endearment to those loony kids. They started this mess, not him (or the Gammas), and those kids are going to pay for it. But why did Dad have to take their side over his? If this was the Gammas of Bradley's regime, Max would understand his choice. But that was last year. Things had changed, and he was nothing like that jerk Bradley. The same can be said for his friends. Sure, some of them were rowdy, but none of them would have gone so far as to harm that kid. Or would they?

Max shook his head to get the confusion out. His friends could not do it. Dad did not know what he was doing. As usual.

Word of the competition between the Gammas and the Acme Looniversity spread like wildfire. The campus gathered its many inhabitants to see the contest. At the square, the two teams arrived. First charged the Gammas, garbed in their black and purple colors. They marched with the flag of their sigma kai. That this was well received would be an understatement. Max's insecurities melted before the cries and cheers. This cry included his team, who screamed 'Hail Gamma Maximus!' He could never give this up. Never. He had to win!

And then his dad's team entered the scene! They didn't wear much unifying colors, and the flag was pretty make-shift. There was some cheer for them, mainly from those who remembered Goofy from last year. Sylvia was one of them. Dad was in the lead. Emphasis on the was, for he tripped, fell, and tripped several of his teammates. Max covered his eyes. Good thing he was on the other team. His dad's students had not such a luxury.

The Council President faced the two teams. He gave a short speech about the reasons for this competition. "Without further ado, the Gammas!"

Max waved. Block and Tank flexed. Xander preened. The response was awarded by applause.

"And over here…" the President walked over to Goofy, asking for knowledge. Goofy whispered the name. "The Goof Troop!"

The Gammas roared with laughter at this name. But Max was pulsed by what he heard. The Goof Troop? It was an old nickname given to his family back in Spoonerville. How could his dad call his team the Goof Troop? They had only one Goof. It didn't make sense for his dad to use the name without him…

Max shook his head, refocusing his attention to the…Goof Troop as they greeted the crowds. "Say hello Babs!" Buster declared.

"Hello Babs!" Babs replied.

The President announced the activities. There would be five rounds. One in nature- a rowing race. One of strength- wrestling. One of intelligence- a quiz. One in athletics- stunts on a bike (Max's personal choice). Tomorrow would be a race around the school. The president finished his speech, giving the cue for everyone to reach the pond for the first round. The two teams marched to their spots.

"This time leave the leading to me, teach," Buster asked Goofy, and was accepted. Goofy was always pleased by his student, as he was with all of them before his eyes. He looked to Hampton. That black eye hadn't gone yet. Goofy accepted it as best he could. He told Hampton that he could stay at the hotel with Plucky. But the pig refused, wanting to help his friends. Such a sweet kid (and very tidy)! Max could be sweet too (though not as tidy). When Goofy got around to it, his boys had a lot in common with his boy. Buster had Maxie's determination and skateboard skills, Plucky had Maxie's mischief, Calamity had…well, Maxie can be quiet too. As for Babs and the other girls, well, Maxie was not a girl. But if Goofy had a daughter, he was sure Babs, Shirley, Fifi, and Elmyra would be like her.

As the Goof Troop marched to their rendezvous, several well-wisher joined in. Sylvia told Goofy that she had to get back to the Library for a major project that Monday, but she wished the best, kissing her boyfriend goodbye. And then PJ came for some small talk.

"So you're fighting the Gammas?" PJ asked with amazement. "You always know how to make a visit, Mr. G." He spoke with respect.

Goofy's explanation about the ultimatum he and Max made gave some displeasure to PJ. "You're going to risk losing Max for this game? Man, even if you win, Max isn't going to like it."

Goofy answered with determination. "I'd rather have muh boy be mad at me than be no good like those Gammas."

PJ had trouble responding to that since of devotion. He looked to Goofy with a warm regard. "Why couldn't you be my father?" he whispered.

"Did ya say somethin'?"

PJ shook his head. Babs Bunny walked next to him. "Hey Peej! How ya doing?"

PJ wasn't properly introduced to this girl, despite Goofy's description from last night. "Well, I…"

"Nevermind the small talk, can we speak in private?"

PJ complied. They walked slower, setting distance between them and the team. "I didn't want to say this in front of Teach, but can I ask you something?"

"Ask."

"I know you were once Max's best friend," Babs danced her fingers to symbolize indents. "And that would mean you understood him better than anyone. And if someone said something wrong about Max, you would no doubt prove them wrong. So you are the right person for my question."

PJ sighed over the topic. "Yes?"

"Why is Max such a slimeball jerk?"

The first round was a boating race. The lake would be raced by two rowboats, oared by four with a fifth as leader. Max would lead his team of four: Axel, Block, Ray, and Gord. Goofy would have Furball, Fifi, Plucky, and Li'l Sneezer. Sneezer had asked with sad eyes if there was any way he could participate. Goofy gladly gave him a role in oarsman. Now, even Goofy knew this limitation, so he offered to oar with Sneezer as speaker.

On his own craft, Max noted the bizarre crew opposing his own. He saw Plucky actually puking at the side. Did dad just pick and choose? They were quite the opposite of his own trained group, full of muscle and diligence, serious in concentration and diligence. Max beamed on his own pride and skill. Dad didn't have a chance.

This was especially made clear by his father standing on the boat and waving at everyone, nearly losing his balance and falling over.

Bang! The pistol sparked! Oars hit the waters. Strength pressured their push. The boats were off. At first, the boats were equal, but sure enough Max's boat progressed faster.

"Stroke, stroke, stroke!" Sneezer said in his tiny voice. Not quite the powerful force of a leader, even though Goofy thought it was cute. Suddenly, Plucky's oar snapped. Then Furball's. Then Fifi's. The boat slowed. Max's own was already passed the halfway mark.

"Hold on!" Goofy dug his oar, which also met the breaking fate as the others. "Gawsh. I guess we don't hold on."

"Up the creek without a paddle!" Plucky spoke, getting everyone's sour reaction. "Hey, someone had to say it!"

Sneezer, sitting at the end of the boat, looked back at the starting point. They had barely got out of the shore. They were going to lose the race. Gee, all this excitement was very bad for his health…

Max's boat roared closer to the shore. He didn't bother to look back. As long as nothing appeared in his window vision, he was content. So long, dad…

And then the waves gave an undertow. A large sound roared from behind. Max saw his guys stare at the opposite direction. Now Max turned to look. His dad's boat raced like a speedboat, tearing through the water like a knife. This unfortunately had the effect of sending a large amount of the stuff crashing into Max's boat. Max held on to dear life to no avail. The boat capsized. By the time Max breathed fresh air, the Goof Troop had hit dirt, literally 10 feet away from the shore.

The campus gasped and then cheered. The Goof Troop joined their victorious teammates. Goofy humbly waved with Sneezer on his shoulder. Plucky preened unashamedly to all. Fifi blew kisses. Furball also warmed to the cheer of teammates and campus until…

"Pwetty Kitty, you were so wonderful!" Elmyra bearhugged the cat.

Babs and PJ joined the commotion. "Looks like your team won," PJ interrupted his story.

"Yeah team!" Babs screamed, then mood swinged back to their conversation. "So all this started because Max stood by his friends rather than join the Gammas? Isn't it ironic, don'tcha think?"

"Yeah…" PJ moped cynically to the irony.

"And you think the source of Max's dirt-bagginess is his issues about being a Goof?"

PJ nodded sadly. "To Max, embracing the goof is like Luke Skywalker embracing the Dark Side"

"I never knew. Teach practically made his boy appear to be the greatest thing since Eddie Murphy joined Saturday Night Live."

"And that's what makes things worse. Mr G. is probably the most loving and kindest fathers I've ever known, and Max treats him like dirt."

"Why that creep!" Babs got the idea with a frown. She then spotted a figure in the water. She skipped to the shore, where she pulled out a fishing rod. "Lemme see…" She tried to recollect. "Ten o'clock! Two o' clock! Quarter to three! Tour jete! Twist! Over! Pas de duex! I'm a little teapot…And the wind up! Let her fly! "

With the perfect cast, her line caught something. She pulled it in. Dangling before her was a very soaked and very cross Max.

PJ gave no comment. Max grew a little awkward on seeing Babs' accomplice. "Should have known you'd come to gloat."

"Get a life, pal." Babs spoke up for PJ, the latter shrugging.

"Let me go," Max smoldered as calm as could be for someone dangling on a fishing line by a bunny.

Babs gave a sharp look at her catch. "You want me to let you go?" Her words were of a cool threat.

Max demanded it. "LET ME GO!"

Babs smiled and complied. Max plummeted back into the waters. Babs walked away in pleasure. "I just can't help myself." She quipped to PJ. He nodded. And yet for all his effort to act nonchalant, PJ continued to watch Max's movements until he was safely ashore.

Max came out of the waters like some zombie, transfixed in shock about this victory.

Goofy saw this, and gave his son a towel. Max yanked it away. "What the heck happened?"

Goofy proudly carried Sneezer. "We owe it all to him!"

Max was incredulous. "Him?" He grabbed the mouse.

"Hey-Max-sir-you're-treating-me-roughly-why-are-you-handling-me-rough?-Gee-I-feel-a-sneeze-coming! A-ah…choo!"

Fortunately Goofy had the foresight to grab Max away from Sneezer's nasal onslaught. A feat that added to Max's amazement for his father's students. "This means you cheated!"

Not so, according to the judges. True, Goof Troop did not win by the preferred method of oars. But they showed resourcefulness in their own abilities. Because they won without outside help or some questionable device, an honorable exception would be made. Round One went to Goof Troop!

"No!" Max stood surrounded in the Goof Troop's celebration. He looked away from Sneezer's kiss to his dad to his own team's reaction. Block glared at this loss. His purple face viewed the oar in his hand. He snapped it in two. Max shared the feeling. Oh well, one match in five meant nothing. Let's see how his goofiness works against practical competence!

A large podium stood for the second round. Thousands surrounded it, with the inner circle by Gammas and Acme. The council president walked to the middle. "In one corner, fighting for the Gammas- Tank!" The strong junior clenched his fists, showing off his prowess to the celebratory crowd. Max smiled.

"In the other corner for the Goof Troop, Gogo Dodo!" Out popped this weird green bird who didn't appear to have hands (assuming they were inside that shaggy fur of his). Was that an umbrella on his head?

Max saw his father lecturing to this bird, looking all positive to the outcome. Dad is ever the optimist. But his son was even more optimistic.

The announcer talked to the two combatants. Max knew the rules. First one out of the ring loses. Now, Max wasn't asking for blood. He told Tank to just overwhelm his opponent, not break him into pieces. Tank gave his okay. "Can't I just twist…?"

Max glared.

"Okay, okay! I was just joking," Tank apologized. Max was appeased. He trusted Tank.

Seemed Goofy trusted him too. "Now Tank!" Goofy cried out. "Be careful with Gogo. He's the last of the Dodos." He turned to another direction. "Ain't that right?"

"Yep!" cried a crowd of Dodos.

The bell rang. Max averted his eyes. He heard the crowd scream. Poor Dodo! His ears caught the thump of the matted floor outside the ring. That was quick.

"And the winner is…Gogo Dodo!"

The flapping of Max's eyelids to bear bulging eyeballs and the almost supernatural turn of his head were instantaneous. There on the ground lay Tank, out of commission. And in the ring was the Dodo. He bounced in some little hopping dance, singing "Go-do-di-do! Go-do-di-do!"

Round Two goes to Goof Troop!

Max ran to his friend. Tank looked out of it, judging by his eyes gazing at nothing. Angrily he turned his direction to Gogo Dodo. The bird was being thrown in the air by Goofy!

"What the heck did you do to Tank?" Max vulnerably shouted. "How did you do it?"

With a grin, Gogo Dodo stepped to Max. "Sure I'll answer for you," he squeaked. He wagged his finger for a closer whispered conversation. Max bowed before the short person. Gogo lifted his long black ear. "It's a…"

Max listened closely.

"SECRET!" Gogo screamed the loudest answer, throwing Max into a great disorientation. Then he ran off, singing some gibberish song.

"He's one of muh best students…" Goofy spoke with pride.

Max buried his head, waiting for the ringing to stop. He should have realized. Normal ability was no match for the Goof factor that rendered impossible possible.

Below, Xander was in a rather uncomfortable talk on his cellphone. "Yes sir, we have lost two rounds…You're going to what?...So Soon?." His surprise changed to obedience. "Yes sir. I'll tell the others." He closed his phone and saw Tank being carried away. Rather than view this as a failure, Xander was pleased. That obstacle to their plan has been conveniently removed.

Next came the third round. A question contest. Which group answered and won the most points would be the victor. Xander and two other guys would stand for the Gammas. Calamity, Hampton, and Elmyra.

"Elmyra?" Buster questioned the teacher's wisdom.

"She knows all about animals." Goofy defended.

"Oh," Babs seemed to understand. "And while we are on the subject: Elmyra?"

Two tables faced each other, with one direction the SCP giving the questions. Each player was given a buzzer to press their case. The round went on. The problem with Calamity was that he needed signs, and that was not allowed. Hampton was thus the only person capable of success. The first two questions were his victories. But then Elmyra decided to commandeer the pig. Then she got the buzzer. In fact, most of the questions had Elmyra's buzzer ringing. Every answer had something to do with a bunny.

This round went to the Gammas. Their first victory on this day!

Now it was Max who did a little dance. If there was one thing he could count on winning against his father, it is intelligence. And lo and behold! Lucrezia popped up as well. "I wanted to see my boy win," she enjoyably smiled. Max was grateful for such camaraderie. Winning is so everything...

"Now, winning ain't everything," Goofy comforted his team as they stood confused at this sudden change of events. They discussed it to Elmyra, who was in her own world…as usual.

"Elmyra if you didn't know the answer, why did you answer?" Buster made an attempt to understand.

"I dunno," she cheerfully said. "That buzzer kept made pretty sounds."

"Is that why you pressed it?"

"No silly. I didn't press it at all." She giggled.

"One of the great mysteries," Babs quipped.

"Oh don't be too hard, Babs," Goofy was understanding. "If the round was about animals, Elmyra would have won it for us."

Buster and Babs were uneasy on how that meant anything.

Plucky looked to Hampton. His friend was looking very down. For once, Plucky tried to be understanding. It was his fault Hampton got hurt, not that he'll ever admit in a million years. Of course, if he was the one who got manhandled by those jerks, he would still have wanted this competition. Sharing his friend's direction, the duck saw Max and his girl having a romantic moment.

"Is that supposed to be Max's girlfriend?" Hampton asked.

"You better believe it. Lucky guy!"

"But when I was cleaning Max's bathroom, I saw her with that Xander guy."

Plucky took this with surprise. Then a fiendish grin grew on his beak.

The final act for today would be a test of athletics. With a bicycle, the contestant would present the most dangerous and amazing mid-air stunt showing his ability and agility. Here was Max's moment. He would show Goof Troop that there was one Goof opposite to the stereotype created by his bumbling father. His popularity always stemmed from his agility in wheels. He looked around. There was much fanfare. So wonderful to cherish this moment. There was also a new group of very hot chicks with good legs and great bods. They looked very excited, which raised Max's spirits. That is until they raised a sign and chanted the name on it. "Dizzy!"

Dizzy! That purple-haired creature with the pink and green eyes? Max's pride felt a prick. Forget it, Maxmillian! This is your element! Show them the stuff that separates the leaders from the Goofs! He hit the pedals. The bike raced up the ramp. Into the air it flew. Max removed both hands off the handles. Going lower, he regained connection, touched the other ramp and raced down. The cheers came as a melody to his ears. He ran the bike up a circular ramp, riding it upside down. Then he came to another ramp promising another mid-air jump. This time Max kept his hands to the handles. He extended the rest of his body off its seat. Quickly he restored his proper position and reached the downward slide. One more to go. This time, the mid-air saw Max making a 180 degree turn. This two was done without trouble. Max returned to the slide and stepped on the brakes at the finishing point. He pulled off his helmet. The crowd were enthusiastic and grateful for his performance. Each of their faces were captured on his memory. And did he spot P.J in there? For a moment, Max thought that was the greatest tribute, and then he remembered what happened between them. He shrugged away.

His Gamma colleagues stood in line with a hand to slap. Max catched them all. "Beat that, Goof Troop!"

Dizzy Devil sat on his bike. When his turn started, Dizzy threw the bike away. He then rotated himself into a fierce whirlwind. He sped through the first ramp with no problem, then he went to the circular slide, not once, but three times, his speed creating the pattern of a web of wind. Next came the ramp where Dizzy fell and touched the ground, before springing up and down up and down. At the final crossing, the whirlwind levitated over the gap as if on an invisible bridge. And then Dizzy returned his steps, devouring the entire obstacle course until only a few metal spokes were left!

There was a brief silence, so quiet a pin could shatter eardrums. What followed eclipsed that achievement, as a deafening cry of utter celebration echoed through the place. Louder than every cheer since this competition began, and definitely louder than what his competitor achieved. Max's jaw dropping to its lowest limit.

The president had his own view. "Because Dizzy Devil performed his amazing stunt without the required bicycle, he is disqualified. By default, the winner is Gamma!"

And there came a gnashing of boos and hisses, from the Goof Troop, from Dizzy, and Dizzy's fan club. Dizzy felt an urge to eat the teach's son, but he relented for the teach's sake. His fan club was not so restrained. A dummy figure arose from their fierce grouping. It was shaped like Max. It burst into flames.

Max could hardly feel anything. That's not possible. It couldn't be. All that training, all that effort, and he gets upstaged by this tumbleweed trash compactor? When Max did get to feel something, it was colored Red.

The crowd carried Dizzy around. Goofy and Buster joined their celebration. Eventually they came to a platform, where they stood before them all like actors on a stage. "Thank you, everybody!" Buster cried. "You're a great audience. I hope we have entertained you. So let's give you this great advice." He turned to Goofy. "Teach?"

Goofy bowed. Instantly, their garbs transformed into harlequins, with red noses, curly wigs, and painted faces. Both bore a pie in their hand.

"Be a clown, be a clown. All the world loves a clown."

"Act the fool, play the calf, and you'll always have the last laugh."

Wear the cap and the bells

And you'll rate with all the great swells!

"If you become a doctor, folks'll will face you with dread.

"If you become a dentist, they'll be glad that you're dead."

"You'll win a bigger hand if you can stand on your head!"

"Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown!"

The audience loved this, except one: Max coldly stepped passed the crowd, walking ever closer and closer. His cross views got even crosser as his father and Buster danced. He hated that kid as he could ever hate a blue-furred bunny kid. Oh sure, his goof of a dad had much to answer for. But that kid and his friends ruined his party. Those kids made the games a farce. Those kids. Especially Buster Bunny. Who does this jerk think he is? Dancing with his dad, blending to his silliness as if he was some long-time partner…or his son. He was not a rabbit, he was a weasel…

Plucky spotted Max. Some fun was needed. He took out a brown wig and dropped it on Max's head.

"Oh, Elmyra! Monty's back!"

Before Max could understand, he was grabbed by the strange girl and pulled and yanked around into a crazy dance. His gym bag was left on the floor.

Be a clown, be a clown. All the world loves a clown.

Show em tricks, tell em jokes.

And you'll only stop with top folks!

Be a crack Jackanapes

And they'll imitate you like apes!

Why be a great composer with your rent in arrear?

Why be a major poet and you;ll owe it for years?

When crowds'll pay to giggle if you wiggle your ears?

Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown!

Laying their pies down, Goofy and Buster pulled their ears. As if they were strings of a harp, they plucked them, their tongues doing an instrumental, or an instrumental in tongues. Max saw that act as well, when he wasn't ready to hurl his guts from Elmyra's dancing. The duo grabbed their pies, and continued their song.

Be a Clown, be a Clown! All the world loves a clown!

Be a poor silly arse

And you'll always travel first-class!

Give em quips, give em fun

And they'll pay to say you're A-1!

If you become a farmer, you've the weather to buck

If you become a gambler, you'll be stuck with your luck

But jack you'll never lack if you go H-yuck!

"Stop, stop, stop! Hold it!" Suddenly Plucky jumped to the players. "Wrong lyric! You long-eared vermin are always getting the spotlight! The actual line was "But jack you'll never lack if you can quack like a duck!"

And then Buster hit him with his pie. "Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown!"

And then Max hit the ground before them. Babs joined the others at this new visitor. They began to chant. "Monty and Elmyra sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

The laughter sent Max rising as he tore off the wig.

Everyone was silent with surprise. And then: "Maxie and Elmyra sitting in a tree! K-I-S…"

"QUIET!" Max unleashed his anger. His wish was granted, bringing a silence to the area. Pleased, he stood like a grim statue.

"Oh, you think yourselves so high and mighty because you tied with my team with your incredible actions?" He coldly criticized. "It ain't over till the fat lady sings!"

Babs held her breath, ready to inflate. Buster's shake of head told her to for once do some self-control.

"Nice crowd you're getting," Max was mocking. "Do you think the school really likes you? Now that's funny! Don't you see? All you've been doing is making yourself look like idiots! Everyone is laughing at you!"

"And?" Babs asked.

"And?" Max locked her in shock.

"Now, now, Max," Goofy tried to calm his son, still holding that pie in his hand.

Max's eyes pointed daggers at his pop. "You! My own father! Always ruining everything I've tried to do!"

Goofy was taken aback by his words. "But Max…"

Max only growled in his mad rage.

"It's okay, teach," Buster was supportive to the put-upon dad. "Don't hit him with a pie."

"You stay out of this!" Max snapped at the rabbit.

"You stay out of this, Max!" Buster cried. "Your dad doesn't have to hit you with a pie."

"What?" Goofy cried in shock.

"Reality check, Buster!" Max was near screaming. "He's MY dad and he can SO hit me with the pie!"

"But son…"

"Do it!" Max demanded. And he got the pie in the face. Again, there was laughter. Max slowly pulled the whipped cream off his face, staring disownment intentions on his father…again.

"But son, you asked,"

Max swatted his father's help. "Dammit, why can't you guys get straight!"

"As straight as you, Mr Debbie downer?" Babs shouted. "In your dreams, pal!"

Buster agreed. "We thought Goofy's kid to be as whimsical and happy as him! Not some black sheep!"

Max looked around desperately for a foot to stand on. These kids are not getting it!

"It's you who isn't, like, getting it," Shirley answered.

Confusion took Max. How did she…?

"Like, why don't you embrace your inner goof!"

Such advice had Max shooting the Loon a face of refusal. "It's bad enough I have to look like one! Now you want me to be a goof? In your dreams, pal!" He mocked Babs' word. "No way I'm ever being the fool!"

"Too late for that one…" Plucky smirked.

And Max turned to him. "What do you mean by that?"

Plucky's words were mirth and calculated. "Your girlfriend."

Fifi was interested. "Really? Tell us more…"

Plucky answered. "She? Max: suck-ER!"

His happiness instantly stopped at the instant grabbing of his throat. Max growled wildly. "You stupid duck!"

His throttled head swinging like a punching bag, Plucky tried to plead. "H-Hampton…said…he…her…with…"

"Your pig friend again?" Max continued to throttle him as any boyfriend would to anyone who spoke ill of his girlfriend. "You're all Liars!"

"Hold it!" Buster cried. Goofy silently ran to the pupil's rescue.

"Bust this Buster!" Max flung his fist backwards on the voice he heard behind him. He intended to grab the rabbit's ears. Instead, his hand hit a face. And then Max saw that Buster was nowhere near his hand's projection.

Goofy fell to the ground, his left eye closed where it had been hit. There were gasps from his students. Theirs were the loudest. Max's was the most quiet. He let go of Plucky, his movements still, his thoughts raging. Shock. Horror. Remorse. All this Max felt as he beheld the sight of Buster running to his dad's side. This served to block the intense remorse. Stubborness. Reaffirmation.

"C-Congratulations, dad," Max tried to give strength to his voice, sounding with hurt. "You finally got a son just like you!" He marched away.

Goofy watched, than sadly bowed his head. Things had gone all terribly wrong.

"Why that rodent rip-off of a Tiny Toon…" Babs shrieked full revenge.

"No," Goofy morosely arose, feeling his sore eye. "He didn't mean to do it. It's all muh fault. I should na brought you kids here."

"What?" Babs was struck by shock. Then she saw Goofy's sadness. "Don't let that brat get to you, teach! Max or no Max, we can't let those Gammas get away with what they did to Hampton."

"Yeah," Shirley added, "like, Max's center is so himself."

"He is nothing like vu," Fifi gave her support. "You are kind and gentle. A wonderful person."

"Gawsh," Goofy's spirits did lift with the compliment.

"Monsieur Max, to put it bluntly, stinks!"

"That's enough!" Now it was Goofy's turn to be angry. "Don't talk any bad 'bout muh boy. It's those Gammas he's hangin' with. We gotta win tomorrow to get him out of there."

"Great!" Buster applauded the positive attitude…vocally.

"Good to know you won't sink to his level!" Babs approved just as loudly. They wouldn't think of letting their teacher sink to such dirty tricks. After all, she and Buster can do just that for him! Their subtle expressions did not miss the eyes of the coughing duck. What a wonderful revenge he had for Max…

They were gone by the time Goofy called out everyone to gather to leave for the hotel.

"Eh," Fifi spotted a gym bag. "Monsieur Max has mislaid his bag." It ripped open. Saws, some weird devices.

The Toonsters were shocked at the complications. "And here we were worried Max couldn't stoop to cheating," Sweetie mentioned.

And then the council president was coming. Seeing him, Goofy gathered all the stuff back into the bag. "Dizzy, here's some dinner!" The Devil swallowed it whole.

"Max's got nothin' t' do with it!" Goofy declared to his students, demanding their silence. Max would never stoop to this! But he knew someone who would…

Max walked away as calmly as possible. Of course, as possible meant looking like walking from a very bloody train crash. His brain flashed the image of the last few minutes like an A-B repetition on a DVD player. His attempts to rationalize came to one simple approach: He punched his dad! He punched his dad!

"Max!"

His train of thought stopped, but once Max saw Xander as the caller, the train continued.

"I punched my dad in the face!"

"What?" Xander cried.

"Well, it really wasn't a punch. More like a backhand smack..." Max tried to explain some meaning out of the disaster. "I...I lost my temper. I-I thought I was hitting…somebody else, and Dad just happen to have been in the way!"

"Interesting…" Xander claimed.

"Interesting?" Max was incredulous to his friend's nonchalance. "I can't face him tomorrow. There's just no way!"

"Max, Max, Max!" Xander repeated his name in effort to calm him. "This is it! Your dad has been ruining your life from day one. You've showed him that you are your own man, and that he should leave you alone, once and for all."

"This is not what I wanted!"

"Yes you did," Xander raised his voice. "I'm sorry to say this, but it was bound to happen. Your father should have gotten the idea last year. This time you meant business. He'll understand now. Now calm down! We don't need our leader to be an Eeyore!"

Max absorbed his friend's words as best he could. Some of it seemed true. Dad should have known enough was enough. His life was not Max's. He was no Goof, he is Gamma Maximus! Dad never understood. Neither did PJ. Not especially those looney kids. What was so confident about being a laughing-stock? Buster doing that stupid dance with dad, acting like buddies for life. Fine, let Dad have those kids! He'd be much happier with them. They would love him more than his son could…and his dad would love them more than his son…

Max rubbed some wetness off his cheeks. Cream got stuck in his eyes.

Max allowed a little silence. When he did speak, he was apologetic. "I'm sorry about that. I lost my head." Max massaged his temple.

"Don't be." Xander grinned. "Let's head home."

The two walked along the campus. "Do you remember Plucky and that pig Hampton? They said Lu was cheating on me."

Xander stared at Max. "Really? Amazing what kids would think of next."

Max ignored Xander's positive demeanor. If he only knew it resembled someone ready to smash a proud bug.

Soon they returned to the house. Max walked up the porch. Block stood at the door, in a wretched mood. Max felt the same way.

Block stood before him, very authoritative. Max stared at him, but Block refused to move.

"Let me in!" Max raised his voice. He had no time for games.

Block smirked, and moved away.

He entered the hall. All his men were gathered. "Okay, guys, it's time for a new strategy!"

"Correct," said Xander.

"Indeed," There sounded a new voice. "Let's start with a new leader!"

And then out of nowhere there stood Bradley Uppercrust III!

Great! Max fumed. Now he had to deal with this creep! "You have a lot of nerve coming back here!"

"And you have a lot of nerve thinking I left," Bradley greeted Max's hostility with cool pride.

Max turned to Xander. He was missing. Max looked to Block, nodding his head to cue him into taking this invader away. He tilted his head a few more times. Nothing. Max groaned. "Get this jerk out of here!"

No one complied. He got snickers and howls instead.

At the end of his rope, Max screamed. "Is this some sort of joke?"

"It is a joke." Bradley calmly walked over to the captive. "One big joke that started the moment you joined the Gammas."

Max's discovery of this could leave him vulnerable to the attack of a feather!

Bradley strutted before Max with an air of superiority. "First you rejected my invitation. Then you broke my winning streak." His expression vibrated a little uneasy. "That…had to be corrected. So I staged it so you would think the Gammas threw me out and wanted you in."

Max's heart was stopping, his breath leaving him. This can't be true! Not now!

"It never bothered you how easy you were accepted without even a hazing? Boy, did you fall for it!"

"Hey guys!" Lucrezia entered.

Max gasped at his girlfriend's endangered presence. "Lu, we're getting out of here!" he turned to her side. "The Gammas are revolting!"

"Oh dear!" Lu feigned shock. "That means they'll turn on me too! What to do? I know!" she turned to Bradley and kissed him in the mouth. Again Max went still, suddenly remembered Plucky's words. "No…" His eyes took on a resemblance of his father's larger optical nerves. "I thought you loved me!"

Lucrezia gave him a glance of her usual cold demeanor, an expression that had always been consistent. "Moron."

Max barely made much of a response. Every strength that existed in him, his confidence, his pride, his love: it was all coming to a direct crash. But Max still persevered. "Xander!" he cried out.

To his relief, his best friend made his appearance, smiling with his compassion.

Xander looked very cool. "Claudius Drusus, who tried to prove himself above his father's clumsiness. He tried to catch a pear with his mouth and choked on it." He made a diabolical smirk. "In trying to prove himself above his old man's foolishness, he did an even stupider thing."

There was laughter. Max's eyes stunned. "Xander!"

"Oh, Xander, your friend wants you to help him!" Block joked.

Xander seemed happy about that. "True, the Goof sees me as his best friend, but he was never mine." With a proud head, he turned his back. He grabbed hands with Lucrezia and together they left the room.

And the remaining foundation in Max's heart crumbled. The truth bared itself and it was awful. And it was rewarded by the laughter. Against such despairing odds, his father would take sorrow in response. Max reacted differently. "Why you back-stabbing…"

Suddenly strong arms grabbed him, lifting him upwards. "Let me go!"

"I wanted to beat your puny butt for a long time." Block whispered with sinister glee into Max's ears. Max understood its meaning, but it fell against his pride. He wiggled and shook for freedom. Axel pulled out a bottle and smeared it onto a cloth. He shoved it into Max's mouth. Quickly the struggle began to dwindle. Max felt so sleepy under the chloroform's scent.

"Release it!" Bradley demanded. "I want Max to be awake."

His word was obeyed. The relieved Max erupted into some weakened gasps.

Bradley walked very close, glinting his sinister smile with eyes of cruel desire. "I want you fully aware of what I've got in store for you."

Max's drugged eyes arose, bearing Bradley's threat with a sad lucidity.

To be continued