Author's note: I started writing this before "Tailormade" but got stuck. I got the idea while reading the amazing story "Cauterize" .net/s/5282963/1/Cauterize by zero-damage and was intrigued by the idea of Souji being evil, or at least being an asshole rather than the polite, smart, kind and perfect character we all play him as (after all, we all wish we were popular and ideal, right?)

The afternoon Kanji found Rise bawling on the roof was one of those mid-autumn days where it wasn't sunny enough to warm anything but clear enough for all the warmth of the morning to fly off into space.

From the moment Rise joined the group, her eyes were on Souji. He was her big hero, the leader, and with her job as guide and cheerleader both, Rise shouted for him the loudest. Outside the TV, she was obvious enough that Kanji cringed in embarrassment for her, especially since Souji seemed so oblivious, or maybe just uninterested. Rise insisted she wasn't serious. "I just love teasing him," she'd say. But Kanji knew better. She had told him so.

At first it was the biggest pain in the ass that they lived practically across the street from each other, because there was no way of avoiding her; even if he took another route home or tried to go somewhere else after school, Rise would just follow him.

Being that he was "such a good listener," Kanji heard everything: everything Souji said, did, every time he touched Rise or smiled at her. Rise would outline her plans while they walked home or she worked at the tofu shop or sat on Kanji's bed while he sewed stuffed bunnies and bears for his Ma to put in the window for sale.

It's not like had anyone else to hang out with. Eventually her chatter went from annoying to background noise to something he enjoyed. He'd never tell her that, though. But she seemed to know. She started offering him advice on Naoto. It was a relief to talk to someone about it.

One day he was hanging out by the home ec room, debating as always whether to go in, and he saw Souji walk out of the men's bathroom looking sly and satisfied. A minute later Rise appeared, her face flushed and clothes mussed, one pigtail half undone. She didn't seem to notice he was there as she rushed after Souji, who hadn't even looked behind him to see if she was following.

Something about it just felt wrong, and it got worse the more he found out.

Kanji had to admit there had been something a little too perfect about Souji Seta, though he grudgingly chalked it up to envy at first. The kid was friendly, self-assured, smart, and the way he always seemed to know exactly the right thing to say was a little eerie. He was everything Kanji wasn't, really. It was impossible to hate the kid, even out of envy.

At first, anyway, until it became more and more apparent he was playing with them. Kanji was too big and clumsy to sneak around eavesdropping, but he found he didn't really have to; when you're big and dumb and keep quiet, people say things in front of you that they don't think you'll listen to. It helped to wear earbuds that weren't attached to anything, the plug end tucked into his pocket. Once he knew where to stand, he heard a lot of things.

Like how Souji had juggled Chie and Yukiko at the same time. They ended up sharing him for a while, until Amagi-sama caught them in one of the empty rooms at the inn. Kanji had heard about that when Amagi-sama had told Ma, Kanji forgotten in the stockroom with his ear pressed against the door as the women talked in hushed and scandalized tones.

He heard (just a rumor, everyone he overheard claiming they heard from someone else and so on) that after Souji ditched them, the girls had turned to each other for comfort, that someone in the girls' bathroom heard them in one of the stalls going at it.

Kanji wondered when the hell the goddamn school bathrooms of all places became the hookup location of choice.

Souji had apparently gotten with Yumi in the drama room after practice one day after they rehearsed for some play they were starring in as a couple. That carried on until after the final performance when he told her it was just method acting and he was trying to get into character.

Kanji had heard enough. It was time to tell Rise what he knew, even if she didn't believe him, damn the consequences. She'd find out sooner or later and she'd thank him for telling her.

Kanji asked around until someone told him they saw Souji and Rise heading up the stairwell for the roof. He got there in time to see them standing over near the railing. Rise looked devastated, Souji all too calm.

"Shit," Kanji muttered. Souji finished up whatever he was saying and walked toward the stairwell. When he tried to push past Kanji, Kanji grabbed him by his jacket and spun him up against the cement wall. "What the hell did you say to her?" he demanded.

Souji wriggled. "Let go of me, Tatsumi. It's none of your business."

"It is if I have to clean up after you," Kanji said.

"You want the truth? She's boring, man. I don't know how you can stand to be around her so much. She's not even that good a lay."

"You bastard!" Kanji said through gritted teeth as he slammed Souji back against the wall.

Rise let out a long, agonized wail. Startled, Kanji whirled around. Souji wrenched himself away and escaped down the stairs. Kanji filed him away for later and went to Rise.

"Hey," Kanji said, putting his hand on Rise's shoulder "You okay? Hey, look at me. Rise." She turned, her face crumpled and mascara-stained tears streaming. She looked up at Kanji, let out a broken yowl and buried her face in his sweater.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. Shh…" He rubbed her back awkwardly, wishing he was better at this comforting thing. He shuffled through a handful of things to say before deciding they would probably make it worse. Instead he just held her tight, rested his chin on the top of her head, and let her soak his shirt.

Rise said something when her breathing evened out enough to speak, but it was so squeaky and muffled Kanji couldn't understand it. "What?" he asked.

"'You can't be at the top of the charts forever, Risette.' That's what he told me. Like someone better and newer came along," she sobbed.

"That asshole. I'm gonna kill him," Kanji muttered.

The wind blew, and Rise shivered. She had been dressing more like Risette lately, skimpy clothes that barely fit the uniform code and definitely didn't fit the weather. Kanji didn't bother asking where her jacket was; he just took his off and draped it around her. "Thanks," she said, drawing back and wiping her eyes.

He led her to the stairwell, his arm around her shoulders. People were already whispering. He glared at them and they shut up. They could think whatever the fuck they wanted about this, but he didn't want to hear about it.

They got to the lobby in time to see Souji pressing Naoto up against the lockers, kissing her so hard her hat was shoved back on her head. Kanji tensed up, ready to yank Souji off and throw him against the wall, but Rise wailed and ran out the front door, and he had no choice but to run after her.

"Rise! Wait up, dammit!" he yelled, but three strides of his long legs brought him level with her enough to grab her hand and make her stop. This time she just looked defeated.

Her mouth wobbled and she mouthed the air as if trying to work the words out. "I don't want to go home, not now. Not like this. Gram will ask questions."

"We can go somewhere else. Wherever you want," Kanji said. Anything to put a smile back on her face. He was too used to bubbly, cheerful Rise and seeing her like this made his own throat clench in a way that made him worry that he was going to start bawling like a little bitch. "Somewhere warm," he specified, though his first instinct was to go to his favorite hill. Part of him teased that he just wanted to have to keep Rise warm, and he told that part to shut the hell up.

"Aiya?" Kanji suggested. Noodles were the comfort food she needed now, and the steam would warm them up. He knew Souji went there a lot, but he wouldn't be there now. No, he'd probably bring Naoto back to his place, up to his room. Nanako was happy watching TV and Dojima spent a lot of nights at the station. They could do whatever they wanted up there. He swallowed the anger down. Ain't about you right now, he reminded himself.

He half expected Rise to refuse and say something about keeping her figure, but she nodded and grabbed his arm. "Sure," she said quietly, wrapping her arms around his arm as they walked. He slowed his pace so she could keep up.

I'm her teddy bear, he thought to himself. But he really didn't mind. Despite the circumstances it was nice to spend time with her again.

They ate at the counter, Rise next to the wall, picking at her noodles. Kanji dug right in, letting the broth burn away the cold.

"I'm sorry about Naoto, Kanji," Rise said.

He swallowed his mouthful of ramen. "Me too. He'll probably pull the same shit with her when he gets bored."

"No, I mean, aren't you into her?" Rise asked, poking a floating chunk of tofu with her spoon.

Kanji smiled wryly. "That's right. I didn't tell you. Well, I woulda but you weren't exactly around to tell..."

"What? What happened?"

His smile faded. "I finally got the balls to ask her out."

"And?"

"She said a bunch of crap about how it wouldn't be wise to enter into a personal attachment since we're colleagues on the investigation team, that it would cloud my judgment in battle, and how after this case was done she'd be gone anyway. But I guess Souji's just so damn charming that none of that shit applies to him."

"Oh Kanji," Rise said softly, her hand on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

He shrugged. "S'no big deal."

Rise shook her head. "It is a big deal. I just got so caught up I... forgot about you."

"Yeah, well..." Kanji didn't know how to finish that. He picked his bowl up with both hands and tilted the rest of the broth into his mouth.

He had no sooner set it back on the counter when Rise reached out, pressed her fingertips lightly to his chin to turn his head, and kissed him. If he had ever expected a kiss from Rise, he'd expected one on the cheek, something chaste and sisterly. Not soft and sweet and tender like this. It made him ache.

It made him suspicious.

"If you're doing this just to make me or make yourself feel better, don't," he said after she drew away. He hoped she'd protest, but all she did was look guiltily away.

Kanji stood up, put down enough cash for his and Rise's meals, and left. She didn't even try to stop him.

When the cold evening wind hit him, he realized Rise was still wearing his jacket, but he wasn't about to go back and get it. It wasn't that long a walk back home anyway, and maybe the cold air would clear his head.

He knew the resentment he felt didn't exactly make sense, that he had reacted too harshly to a girl who'd not long ago been bawling brokenly in his arms, but being ignored for a month ate at him. The logic that a new romance was all-consuming to the two people in it didn't help. They hadn't been walking home together for weeks now, ever since Souji dumped Ai or Yumi or whoever he was screwing and pretty much up and told Rise it was her turn. Texts went unanswered, phone calls unreturned. And now that she was in need, that Souji had cast her aside, he was supposed to step right back in and not only comfort her but take the bastard's place?

By the time his numb fingers closed around the door handle, he'd decided that if all he could get was Souji Seta's castoffs, he didn't need anyone after all.

"Kanji-kun?" Ma called as he went up the stairs. "Dinner will be ready soon."

"I ate. Went to Aiya with Rise," he said, hoping she'd take it at that and let him slip up to his room.

She didn't. "Where's your jacket?" she asked.

"Musta left it at the restaurant," he said. It wasn't technically a lie. "I'll swing by tomorrow and grab it."

"Well come have some tea anyway, to warm your hands. And talk to me." She sat down, and Kanji grudgingly complied.

"I'm glad you and Rise are talking again," Ma said. "I hadn't seen her around lately. How are things with her and Souji?"

Kanji clenched his fists under the table. "Ain't my business," he said.

"He's such a nice young man. I'm so glad you befriended him, Kanji. He's been a good influence on you," Ma prattled on about how Kanji's grades had improved, how he wasn't getting into trouble anymore and how proud she was. Kanji gulped tea in silence. He did not want to listen to this right now. Souji WASN'T a nice young man; he was a weasel and an asshole.

Finally Kanji used homework as an excuse to retreat to his room. No sooner had he set up his sewing machine and lined up the fabric did his cell phone ring. Rise. He let it and the next three go to voicemail. He didn't know what to say to her right now.

He was ready to shut the damn thing off when it rang again. It was Souji. Kanji finally snatched the phone up. "What?" he snarled.

"Remember to watch the Midnight Channel tonight," Souji said. Kanji heard, or imagined, smugness in the transfer student's voice.

"Fuck you," Kanji said, and hung up. He threw the phone on his bed and went back to sewing. The needle jammed. He tried to crank it up manually but it was stuck, tangled in thread. He growled and jammed the pedal to the floor. The machine roared in protest before going crazy fast and breaking the needle, which flew across the room with a ting. Kanji roared and yanked the fabric from the machine, tearing it. He stuffed the whole thing, still trailing threads, into the wastebasket next to his sewing bench, and kicked the wastebasket across the room.

He flopped down on his bed and glared at the ceiling. "I should just quit the team," he said, even as he knew he wouldn't. He liked it too much. Fighting was the one thing he was decent at, and heaven knew he needed the release. If he couldn't smash Shadows, it would be back to chasing down biker gangs and he had promised Ma he wouldn't do that anymore.

Kanji pressed his lips together. They tasted like cherry. His first kiss. Maybe he should've gone with it. Naoto made her preference clear and Rise was the only one Kanji was really close to. And she needed him.

It was nice to be needed. Even if it meant being used.

But it would be taking advantage, he told himself. Only assholes picked up a girl off the rebound, and it never lasted anyway.

By midnight, he was already asleep.

#

Kanji almost didn't recognize Naoto, not until she came up to him and told him that Souji wanted them to meet at Junes after school. She was wearing the girls' uniform, and even her hat was gone, traded for a wide, navy-blue headband with a bow on it.

"What the hell… Naoto? Why are you wearin' a dress?" he blurted.

Her cheeks flushed pink and she looked away. "Souji said he liked it, so—"

"So what if Souji likes it? It ain't you! You can't let him tell you how to dress, dammit!"

"Kanji-kun, please don't make a scene," she said sternly. "This isn't important right now. We're meeting at Junes after school—"

"Why? Did someone show up on the Midnight Channel?"

Her eyes widened. "Didn't you watch it?"

"N-no," Kanji stammered, looking down at his boots. "I musta fell asleep." He searched Naoto's face; she looked grim. "Why, Naoto, who was it? Could you tell?"

"We will discuss it with the others later, Tatsumi," she said. She pushed past him and hurried off to class.

All day he wondered who it could be, looking around to see if he could figure out who was missing. The day dragged on until finally the bell rang and he could rush to Junes.

He still ended up being the last one there. "What the hell, did you all skip last period? Why didn't you tell me? I would've too!" They just kept looking at him, or the table, or each other, each looking as though someone had died. "Could someone at least tell me what the hell is going on?"

Souji gave him a reproachful look. "You didn't watch last night, did you?"

Kanji sneered. "What part of 'fuck you' didn't you get? The 'fuck' or the 'you'?" Souji just stared at him. Naoto cringed. Kanji scanned the faces of the others. "And where the hell is Rise?"

Yosuke winced. "Kanji… she's in there."

Kanji frowned. "Doing a scan, right? Seeing if she can find whoever?"

Teddy started bawling. Yukiko rubbed his back and looked up at Kanji. "No, Kanji," she said, "we mean… Rise was on the Midnight Channel last night."

Kanji froze, his eyes wide. "No… no, there's no way. Why the hell would she be on there? She was already kidnapped before—"

"We don't know why Rise would appear on the channel twice," Naoto said. "But the fact remains that she isn't here, and she was seen on the television at midnight last night. I took the liberty of calling the tofu shop to ask if perhaps Rise was out sick. Her grandmother told me that she hadn't seen Rise since she left for school yesterday. She assumed she had come in late and left early this morning."

"So who saw her last?" Yosuke asked. "You, Souji?"

"Not me," he said, his mouth set as he stared at Kanji.

Kanji squeezed his eyes shut. "I saw her last. We went to Aiya after school. We talked. I left her there and went home."

"You left her there?" Chie gasped. "You let her walk home alone?"

"I wasn't thinking like that, all right?" Kanji snapped.

"Sounds to me like you weren't thinking at all," Souji said.

"Shut the hell up!" Kanji retorted. "It's your fault she was so upset in the first place!"

"Enough!" Yukiko said. Everyone looked at her. "This isn't helping," she added, quieter.

"Damn right it ain't. Why aren't we in there?" Kanji demanded.

Souji stood up. "Let's go, then."

#

They were in the main lot. Kanji turned to Teddy. "She's probably in the same place she was before," he told the bear. He turned to Souji; much as he hated the prick, they had to work together to find Rise, and Souji was still the leader. "That place should be no trouble now. Let's just hurry and go find her."

"We need to train first," Souji said.

"What the hell is with you and training?" Kanji raged.

"If she's in there again, it's for something new, and new Shadows will have moved in, tougher than us now."

"It does smell different, Kanji-kun," Teddy chimed in.

"It's not supposed to be foggy for a week. We have time," Souji said in a this-is-my-final-word kind of way. The others watched their exchange nervously.

"This ain't like most times! What if it don't follow the same rules?" Kanji glowered at the rest of the group. Naoto looked away. Chie and Yukiko glanced at Souji. They stood so close together they were almost touching. How can you still be loyal to him? After the way he treated you? Kanji thought.

Naoto spoke up, her voice carefully neutral. "Souji's argument is logical. We will do Rise no good charging in unprepared."

Souji's lip curled. "If you want to rush in solo and get yourself killed, be my guest, Tatsumi. The rest of us are going to prepare."

"Fine," Kanji barked out, "I will." He glared at the others and turned on his heel.

"Kanji-kun, wait!" Teddy called after him. "If you split off from the group, I won't be able to help you both. I can only keep track of one group at a time."

Kanji clenched his jaw. "Fine," he spat. "I don't need your help."

"Hey," Souji said. Kanji glared at him, ready to retort, when Souji tossed something at him. Kanji caught it. A Goho-M. "For when you realize you're beaten," the silver-haired kid said. Kanji shoved it in his pocket as he dashed for the strip club.

#

A few floors in, and Kanji was starting to wonder, grudgingly, if Souji was right. He forgot that with a bigger team, they had more options for elemental attacks, more attacks overall. Sure, it was plenty easy to defeat the Shadows when you could knock the whole group on its ass and dogpile on. It wasn't as easy when it was just him, with his shield and Take-Mikazuchi's lightning. One battle against four wind-wielding Shadows almost wiped him out.

The fox was in the next room, looking at him with its head cocked to the side the way a dog might. "At least you haven't abandoned me," Kanji said, scritching behind the fox's ear. It gave a happy yip and offered to heal him. Kanji handed over the cash and sat cross-legged on the floor, letting the warmth of the healing spell wash over him. His weariness was gone, his wounds healed and all the pain dissolved away. He felt full of energy, like he could spring up and battle through a hundred floors of enemies.

"Thanks," Kanji told the fox, who yipped in response. He dashed out of the room and down the hallway.

The strip club had changed. The music was faint and scratchy, sounding as if it was played on an old and much-used vinyl record. The lights were broken, walls cracked and paint peeling. Broken mirror glass littered the floor along with empty syringes and lengths of rubber tubing, empty vials, scorched spoons. As he advanced, the walls became papered with tabloid clippings: "Risette storms off stage, cancels tour" "Risette's three day drug and booze binge" "Risette forced into rehab by manager" "Assistant claims Risette slapped her backstage" The photos accompanying these made Kanji cringe and look away: Rise in her idol makeup and clothes, singing onstage, track marks visible on her arms as she grips the mic; tripping on a red carpet and sprawling drunkenly; giving the finger to a camera while a cigarette dangles from her lips; slumped in a chair with a bottle of vodka clutched in her hand; getting out of a limo in a short skirt, the camera zooming in in an inset to show she's not wearing panties.

"Is this what she's afraid of?" Kanji panted as he smashed his shield into another Shadow, knocking it across the room.

The music on the sound system faded away, replaced by what sounded like an interview. "I think the beginning of the end was when I left Inaba… I couldn't very well stay. I didn't have anything left there." It was Rise's voice.

"Rise?" Kanji called, but got no answer. She probably couldn't hear him from here. His legs pumped and he leapt over Shadows when he could, not wanting to waste time fighting.

There was a burbling growl, and Kanji swiveled his head around to see which Shadow had spotted him. He realized it had come from the speakers. Rise's voice answered it, as if it had asked her a question.

"Ever since I met Souji, I wanted him…"

It sounded like she was being interviewed. Kanji didn't watch a lot of television, but Ma sometimes watched shows like this, some actor or other celebrity revealing all in an exclusive interview.

"I heard the rumors, of course—"

burbeldgrr?

"Oh, I shouldn't. They're not my secrets to tell."

Grrblbblerg

"Well, these are just things I heard, but… they said he'd hook up with Chie and Yukiko at the same time. One of them would fuck him and he'd eat out the other while they made out with each other. Kind of a literal 'love triangle' y'know?"

Blg blrg blrgh

It sounded like laughter. Kanji winced. "I did not need to know this," he muttered as he ran up another flight of stairs.

The interview went on. "Apparently Souji would only fuck Ai up the ass. She hated it. That's why he did it. Wanted to take her down a peg. Yumi was even sicker than that, if you can imagine."

Grburrbll?

"It was after the last performance of their play. There was the usual cast party backstage, but after that someone threw their own after party at their place. I guess their parents were out for the night. Souji got Yumi super drunk and fucked her after she passed out."

Kanji ground his molars. This couldn't be true. No way was Souji that much of an asshole. A womanizing, two-timing prick, sure, but a date rapist? Even he couldn't believe that.

"As for me… one day he came up to me at lunch and told me to meet him in the boys' bathroom on the second floor, in the big handicapped stall on the end."

"I don't want to hear this," Kanji said as he dashed down another hallway, arms flying out for balance as his foot slipped on a hypodermic. "Please Rise, shut up, shut up, I don't want to know." He had a pretty good idea of what had gone on in that bathroom, but he certainly didn't want to hear the details.

"I waited, and he came in and I let him in the stall. He asked me if I still wanted him and I said of course I did. He kissed me and started running his hands all over me. It felt so good…"

A Shadow leapt out in front of Kanji and he bashed it aside without slowing his stride.

"Then he told me to turn around and put my hands up against the wall…"

Kanji wished he could clamp his hands over his ears, but he needed wield the shield and if anything the Shadows were thicker this high up.

"I heard him unzip his pants and drop them, then he reached under my skirt and pushed the crotch of my panties aside, and—"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS!" Kanji yelled.

"—started fucking me."

"RRRGH!" Kanji growled, bashing Shadows aside and lunging for the staircase. How many more floors until he found her?

Grrublrbl?

"It hurt, yeah, kind of in a good way? It was my first time, after all. It wasn't as good as I hoped it would be, but I didn't care. I was just glad I had him, that he was mine." There was a broken-sounding laugh. "I was stupid. Thought I was just so beautiful and attractive, and that whole power thing, as if him fucking me meant I had caught him and he was mine forever. Stupid little girl shit."

Bgglwbbrgobgob?

"We did it every chance we got. The bathrooms at school, the janitor's closet, one of the empty classrooms, but mostly in his room at his uncle's house. Dojima's never home and if you put Nanako in front of the TV she zones completely out. It went on for a few weeks, maybe a month."

"Yeah, it was a month," Kanji said, busting down a door to find a room empty except for a treasure chest. He ignored it and continued down the hall. "Longest damn month of my life."

"Then one day I was in the girls' room, just kinda hanging out and cutting class, sitting on the seat with my feet up while I read a magazine, so no one would see I was in the stall, you see."

Brgble.

"Someone came in, and I looked through the tiny crack between the door and the frame and I could see it was Naoto. She went in the stall next to mine just as the door opened again, and before she could close the door, the person stepped into the stall she was in."

Urgubgub?

"It was Souji. Naoto demanded to know what he was doing there, and he said he was looking for her. 'This is the girls' room, Seta. You know you are not permitted here.' And he said he didn't care if he was permitted or not. He told her he wanted her, and that Kanji only liked her when he thought she was a boy—"

"That's bullshit!" Kanji yelled as though the speaker was two-way and he could somehow interrupt the interview. "I didn't care if she was a boy or not, I liked her or him or whatever. I just liked Naoto."

"And Naoto said it was irrelevant, because she wasn't into Kanji anyway. Souji asked who she was into and she stammered. Then I think he kissed her, and Naoto was breathing really fast and shallow, like she was trying to hold in a moan or something. Then she said, 'What about Rise?' and Souji said, 'Little Miss Spoiled Idol needs to learn to share her toys.'" Rise's voice cracked. The Shadow interviewing her made a sympathetic burble, then there was the sound of Rise blowing her nose into something. "Thank you."

Rgubbubgub.

"No, I'm ready. I can go on." She took a deep breath. "Then Naoto said, 'No, Souji, stop. We can't, not here, I'm not ready for this.' And Souji whispered to her, 'Please, just let me use my tongue.'"

"Stop it!" Kanji yelled, bashing one of the speakers with his shield, tearing it from its mount to dangle from sparking wires. "I don't wanna hear this shit!" Rage bubbled up his throat like lava. Vertigo made his vision swim, and he collapsed against the wall, his legs barely keeping him up. He dropped the shield and pressed his hands to his ears, but still he could hear it.

Rise's voice quavered as she continued. "I saw Naoto's pants and panties fall down to her ankles, then Souji knelt down on them. There were—" she squeaked, "slurping noises, and Souji grunting, and Naoto panting and moaning—"

Rise dissolved into sobs. Kanji smacked his head back against the wall, wishing he could knock himself out. He let his shaking legs drop him to the floor, and he put his forehead down on his knees, both hands white-knuckle tight on the edge of his shield.

"I wanted to run; I was already freaking out, with my hands over my mouth so I wouldn't cry, and tears running down my face, but I couldn't go anywhere, because if I moved they would know I was in there.

"Naoto was just breathing faster and faster, and moaning really soft, then she kind of grunted once, really quick, and sighed. Souji got up off his knees and I heard him tell her she tasted sweet. She pulled her pants back up and I heard the stall door open, and Souji left. Naoto took a minute to catch her breath, then she left too.

"I couldn't go to my last class, not after that. I waited it out, crying in the bathroom, then when the bell rang I went looking for Souji.

"I found him after school, on the roof. I confronted him about it. I asked him why, why wasn't I enough, why would he go to Naoto, why do this to me? And he said—"

Kanji whispered it along with her, "'You can't be at the top of the charts forever, Risette.'"

"It hit me," Rise said, "as he was walking away. He never called me Rise, the whole time we were together. He always called me Risette. I don't think he ever wanted me. He wanted her. The face on the screen, on the stage."

She laughed for a moment. "Kanji found me, and he hugged me tight, my hero," Rise giggled. "Then we went to Aiya, and had noodles." She sounded very small, like a little girl. "Then I did something stupid. I kissed him."

Burglubble gub?

"I meant it, I did. Not to replace Souji or to forget, but because… I realized he was the one who was there for me, the one who waited out my stupidity and who took care of me when I needed it, even after I abandoned him without a word to chase after an asshole who didn't give a shit about me." She let out a shaky sigh. "I deserved him walking away from me."

Kanji raised his head. "No, no you didn't, Rise! I was the one being stupid! You were messed up. I shoulda let it slide."

"I realized then that no matter what I did, what I said or what I told him, he'd think I was using him, that one toy broke so I grabbed another. He'd think he was second choice, or some temporary bandage because Souji dumped me and I was lonely.

"So I left. You know the rest."

Yrbglarble.

"No, thank you. I'm glad I finally got it all out, you know. Now I can say goodbye."

There was something final about her tone that sent a chill through Kanji. He leapt to his feet and darted down the hall toward the stairs.

"The drugs just don't work anymore. The drinking too. My agency dumped me, so what do I have left, really?

"I just want to thank all my fans for sticking with me through the years, and putting up with my craziness. I'm going to miss you all. But this is for the best—"

"No! Rise! Stop, think about this, don't do anything crazy!" Kanji yelled as he pounded up the stairs.

"After all, us idols are pretty much all alike, right?" Another broken laugh. "Someone will come along and replace me. You'll forget all about me." He was starting to hear the sound doubled now, first faintly from up ahead, then echoed louder through the speakers. I must be getting close. He ran so hard his lungs burned.

"I just wish… I just want to say I'm sorry, Kanji. I really am."

There was a door ahead. Kanji braced himself to bust it open and charged.

He passed right through it as though it was smoke. He stumbled to a stop, windmilling his arms to avoid falling on his face. Rise stood in front of a couch like the kind all talk show hosts had, complete with a coffee table with coffee cups full of water, and an arrangement of fake flowers. A shadow pooled and undulated on a matching chair beside. A TV camera stood next to the doorway, boom mic lowered to take in Rise's every word.

She had a gun in her hand, pressed against her temple, her eyes squeezed shut.

Later it would occur to Kanji that he should have froze, talked to her gently and approached slowly while pleading for her to put the gun down, that lunging at her and trying to wrestle the gun away would surprise her enough to accidentally pull the trigger. But he lunged, shouting her name, grabbed for the gun, yanked it out of her hand and threw it across the room. It clattered and skidded away.

"Rise," Kanji breathed, hugging her so tight that she gasped. His eyes stung and his throat felt knotted up. He pulled back and grabbed her shoulders to shake her. "What the hell do ya think you're doin', dammit?"

"Kanji?" she asked, her voice shrill. "What are you…I—" She looked around. "I was—

What's happening? Where are we?"

"We're in the TV. They saw you on the Midnight Channel last night." He loosened his grip slightly. "All that shit you think happened with the drugs and leaving Inaba, I think it's part of this. I saw all these articles and pictures and shit on the way in."

Rise shook her head. "God, it's like waking up from a nightmare. It was all so real." She looked around. "Where's everyone else?"

Kanji's face twisted. "Training," he spat. "I came in alone. Just in time too, looks like." He took a deep breath. "What the hell were you doin'? Trying to kill yourself?" he said, louder than he meant to.

Rise's face crumpled and she started to cry. It was just like on the roof again, her face buried in his sweater, loud sobs muffled against his chest. He held on while she shuddered with sobs.

Yes, cry, you sad little girl. You're all alone. You'll always be alone, no matter how many people are looking at you, no matter how many say they love you, you'll always be alone. The Shadow had risen from the chair and transformed. It looked like a dark version of Rise, marked with various attempts at self-destruction: a noose hung around its neck, bullet holes in the temples dribbled blood, wrists cut deeply and spurting, discolored vomit caking its chin.

Rise's voice was a whisper, "You're not me."

I am what you will become.

"No she won't," Kanji said, stepping between Rise and the Shadow. "She ain't alone. I'm here."

A champion? This will be interesting. Shadow Rise transformed, becoming a worn and beaten-looking doll, plastic limbs scored, hair tangled and singed, a noose of yarn around her neck.

"Rise, stay back," Kanji said. He readied his shield. "Scan her for me. C'mere, Take-Mikazuchi," Kanji said, summoning a card and smashing it with his shield. Take-Mikazuchi materialized above his head. Zionga! Kanji ordered.

A transparent rectangle, like a pane of crystal, sprang up in front of the Shadow. The lightning bolt reflected from it and back at Kanji. He barely felt the tingle as it hit him harmlessly.

"It reflects lightning!" Rise said.

"No shit," he said. "Weak to anything?"

"Yeah, wind."

"Well that ain't gonna help me."

"It uses wind too," Rise groaned.

"Shit." He was weak to wind. He couldn't afford to get hit by it; if he got knocked down, he'd be vulnerable for a few minutes, enough time for the Shadow to get a couple hits in. "Might as well try the old-fashioned way," he said, and swung his shield. It connected, but the Shadow barely seemed fazed by it.

Wind sliced him as if it was full of tiny razors. Kanji fell to the ground, dazed for a moment. Shadow Rise laughed. Why are you defending a piece of trash? She's ruined herself, no use to anyone! It said. It shimmered for a moment.

"Oh no! It upped its attack!" Rise said.

Kanji pushed himself to his feet. "You mess with the bull, you get the horns!" he said, charging forward with Primal Force.

"Don't! Your health is getting too low!" Rise yelled. Kanji only grinned fiercely as the Shadow's plastic skin began to crack.

As the battle wore on, Kanji felt like he was the one who would crack. He had taken a decent beating after the fox healed him and slowly whittling down this Shadow's life wasn't cutting it. "Lay down and die already!" he shouted, smashing it again with his shield.

You first, the Shadow said, taking the noose from its neck and whipping it like a lasso, a sign it was about to cast Garula again.

He dug in his pocket, hoping he had medicine somewhere that he had overlooked. His fingers slid along smooth glass, a Magic Mirror. He wrenched it from his pocket and tossed it in the air. This time the wind hit an invisible barrier and spun back at the Shadow.

Shadow Rise shrieked and fell down, dazed. "Enemy down. Show it what you've got, Kanji-kun!" Rise cried.

One more hit. It would only take one more hit, he was sure of it. He ground his molars, breath coming heavy, and raised his shield. "I'll send you to hell!" he roared, and hit it with Vile Assault.

Shadow Rise shook at the blow, cracks webbing its body, light leaking through. It shattered like one of the cards and dissipated into sparkling dust that faded as it fell.

Kanji leaned heavily on his shield, his forehead against his hands as he gasped for breath and trembled like a leaf. Everything hurt, and he couldn't remember ever being so tired. The clatter of Rise's footfalls seemed far away as he sank to the floor, letting his shield fall.

Rise draped herself on Kanji's back, her arms around his neck. Her heart was beating as fast as his. "You came for me," she said softly.

"'Course I did, ya friggin' idiot. I'd do anything for you."

Rise's arms tightened around him in response. "My hero," she whispered. They stayed like that until Kanji's breathing and heartbeat slowed down, though both were a little faster than normal what with Rise's breasts pressed against his back and her hair tickling his cheek.

"We should get outta here," Kanji said. He pulled the Goho-M out of his pocket and stood. Rise let go.

"I thought only Souji carried those things."

Kanji tossed it in the air and caught it. "He said it for when I chickened out." He held a hand out to Rise. "Come on." She took it. Kanji activated the item and they were swallowed by light.

#

The others were already there when they got out. "Rise! Kanji!" Teddy cried. The others crowded around them, hugging Rise, patting Kanji on the back.

Yosuke handed Kanji some antibiotic gel. "Thanks, man," Kanji said. He looked over at Souji, who watched everything with his usual expressionless face. "She was in the club," Kanji said.

"There was another Shadow," Rise blurted. "It tricked me. It made me think that… some things happened that haven't. Kanji-kun defeated it."

"Did you gain another Persona?" Souji asked.

Rise shook her head. "No. It just disappeared—"

"What did it look like? What did it say? Did it leave anything behind?"

"Hey!" Kanji said. "Lay off!" He put his arm around Rise's shoulders. "Can't you see she's rattled?"

"We need to get some answers," Souji said, taking charge again. "If Rise was kidnapped a second time, someone else could be too. Come on, Rise, let's go to the food court." He held his hand out, beckoning her.

Kanji stalked up to Souji, getting right in his face. "The only reason I'm not kicking your ass right now," Kanji said, low and rough, "is 'cause I just defeated a boss Shadow by myself."

"If you'd listened to your leader like you were supposed to, you wouldn't have been by yourself," Souji said. "If you hadn't rushed in like an idiot—"

"It's a good thing I did. She was a couple seconds from blowing her brains out when I got to her." Kanji took some satisfaction from the way Souji's eyes widened. Rise looked at the floor. The others looked back and forth between the two, stunned into silence. "Maybe you oughtta think about how the shit you do affects people, Senpai." His eyes drifted to Naoto. She looked away and took a step away from Souji.

"Come on, Rise," Kanji said quietly, then louder, "let's get outta here."

#

"I can't believe that guy. He could've at least held off until tomorrow," Kanji grumbled as they walked downtown. He was still exhausted but in a lot less pain and his muscles had stopped feeling so weak and twitchy. He still kept his arm around her anyway.

Rise stared straight ahead. "He's going to ask what it told me. The Shadow. What I said."

He looked down at her. "Are you going to tell him? All of them?"

Rise took a deep breath. "Yes. They should know. We still have to work with him but we don't have to put up with him jerking us around. We don't have to act like he's God." She was quiet a minute, then asked, "What did you think when you saw…everything?" she asked.

Kanji shrugged. "I knew it wasn't real."

"I thought it was," she said with a shudder. "I thought everything I was worried about had come true. It was as real as if I'd lived it."

"Well," Kanji said, "now that you know, you can make sure it doesn't happen, right?"

"I hope so," Rise said, her voice tiny. Kanji stopped and gripped her shoulders in both hands so she would look at him.

"It ain't real, Rise. It's just fear. You ain't gonna turn out some druggie has-been, I ain't a flaming queen, Naoto ain't a transsexual and Souji—" he broke off, not knowing what to say. "Souji's just an asshole," he finished.

"Souji was a mistake," Rise said. "I just feel so stupid. Everyone told me…"

"Rise," Kanji said, "I'm sorry I took off last night. I shouldn't have left you to walk home alone. I was stupid. Forgive me?"

Rise stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his. Kanji thought his legs might give way entirely. He pulled her against him. He could feel Rise's heart hammering against her ribcage like his was, as if they were beating against walls trying to get to each other.

Rise pulled back only enough so she could speak, her breath warm on his lips. "I'm sorry I ditched you for all that time—"

"It don't matter."

"Kanji-kun, you're not a replacement for Souji or a Band-Aid or anything. You're just… you. And maybe it's selfish to say but I want you with me."

"I'm with you."

"I don't mean literally here right now, I mean—"

"I know what you mean, Rise. I'm with you," Kanji said, ducking his head to kiss her again.

#

When Kanji got back to textile shop after dropping Rise off, Souji was leaning against the wall next to the doorway, looking at the shop window. "Cute dollies," he sneered.

"What the fuck do you want?" Kanji said, feeling more tired than angry.

"I want to know if you're still going to be able to work with the team. I can't have you calling me into question all the time."

Kanji gritted his teeth. "You heartless bastard. You think I was just trying to be difficult? This was a goddamn emergency—"

"This is all a goddamn emergency. We've been dealing with life and death all this time," Souji said.

"Fine," Kanji snarled. "Think about it like this then: we need Rise. We need her a hell of a lot more than we need you."

Souji stepped away from the wall, smirking, "I'm the glue that holds all you little idiots together." He started to go.

"If I make you some dolls would you stop playing with us?" Kanji called after him mockingly. Souji stopped but didn't turn. "Did you really do it? All that shit Rise said?" Kanji asked.

Souji tilted his head to the side. "I didn't hear what Rise said. But think about this: she's an actress. A good one, actually. Are you sure she wasn't just putting on a show?"

Kanji scowled and shook his head. "Rise wouldn't—"

"You think? Did she tell you how she got in the TV?"

"She got nabbed."

"Did she? Guess we'll find out tomorrow. Good night, Tatsumi." Souji walked away down the street.

Kanji snorted and grabbed the handle on the door, turned it, and stepped one foot inside before looking back across the street at the tofu shop. The lights went out. A window above lit up, someone's silhouette cast against the curtains. It had to be Rise. He watched her stretch her arms over her head to take her ponytails out, shake her hair out.

Could she…?

Kanji shook his head, dismissing the entire idea. Souji and his mind games. He turned around and went inside.