/N: Right my darling readers, this is something a little bit different for me; a comedy. Well its not fully a comedy as i am not that talented lol, but is (hopefully) a lot funnier than my other drama internal monologue stories. Do not worry though, i shall be continuing with my other stories as usual. Maybe even speedier than usual? I am hoping to write a chapter a week which means each story should have a new chapter posted each month at the very least. Good news? Lol. Anyways, I want to dedicate this story to RebeccaSeverusSnape for being one of the first people to ever review a story of mine and for sharing a common love of the man that is Severus Snape himself, i feel there just ain't enough SS/OC fics out there so here you go! Hope you like? :| lol. And i want to say thanks soo much to iluv2eatcarbs for making me wanna write a slightly sarcastic and hopefully amusing character. Hope you like this story, although nothing i write will ever be as good as Duck and Cover! Haha. :P (everyone go read that, amazing Sirius/OC story!) Anyways, please READ and REVIEW and i hope you all enjoy. Ta! :D

Chapter One: Plan Of Action

I know it is wrong, extremely wrong in fact, but I just cannot help it. He is just too irresistible. Well, maybe not quite irresistible, what with his greasy bangs and hawk like hooked nose, but he is interesting. Yes, interesting is a much more fitting word for him. Intriguing even. I just can't help but watch him, watch his every little move. The way his lips curl when he stares at his fellow students in disgust. The way his ivory skinned hands grasp his fork like its a weapon. The way his...

"Your doing it again Olivia, your drooling over him" the tall blonde next to me muttered in a tone that was close to disgust, as she nudged my elbow. "I don't know what the hell you see in him, but you must be the only person who can see it as everyone else thinks he's creepy and weird"

"Hmm..." I sighed in response as I attempted to spoon some scrambled eggs into my mouth while still keeping my eyes locked firmly onto the Slytherin table across the room from me. Safe to say, I failed miserably and ended up with food all down the front of my robes, but no matter. It was worth it.

You see I had been like this ever since the beginning of fifth year when I was just starting my transformation into a social butterfly, as Lexi called it. Me and her were room-mates and best friends, but no matter how I tried to make her see the light, she just didn't understand my obsession towards the 'weirdo' of Hogwarts itself, as she so politely referred to him as. I had only known him to of had one real friend in all my years at Hogwarts, and her name was Lily Evans and another one of my room-mates.

It all started when I had struck up an argument with Lily around the beginning of our fifth year about why there wasn't any need for so much homework this year even though it was O.W.L year and all, needless to say she firmly disagreed what with her being the know it all smart ass of the whole school. She's lovely really, but still a know it all! Anyway, we immediately bonded over our intense fiery tempers and our love to always be right, and quickly became friends. This soon led to her introducing me to her friends, although when I say friends, it was really just her mad hottie stalker James Potter and his Marauder friends; Sirius 'Sexy' Black, Remus 'the gentleman' Lupin and Peter 'Rattigan' Pettigrew. The last one was nice enough, but he gave me the creeps what with all his scurrying about here and there, hence the nickname me and Lexi had given him. The last of the people Lily had introduced me and Lexi to was him. And when I say him, I really mean Mr. Intriguing Slytherin pants himself. He was so awkward and horrid when we had first met him that I was instantly attracted to him for them traits alone. Call me weird, but a man who can shoot out a comeback within 0.3 seconds which has more wit in it than my entire body, which has a lot trust me, is an instant hunk in my books. What can I say? I like a man who has a way with words and can make people squirm by using them, and them alone.

Two years later, I am back for my seventh and final year of Hogwarts and I still have the hots for him. Two years is a long time to have a crush on someone I think. I mean its not like I have made a vow of chastity to keep myself for him and him alone, therefore ignoring all the other drool worthy men in the school, far from it in fact. Last year alone was a blur of snog fests with the ever sexy Sirius Black and a rather disastrous date with the quiet Remus Lupin himself. Lets just say that nothing makes that man angry and leave it at that. Apparently not even fire and language that would make sailors seem like priests can make Remus hate you, something I was very glad of after last Valentines Day let me tell you!

"Olivia are you listening to me? Your still staring at him aren't you?" Lexi huffed at me as she waved a delicately manicured hand in front of my face, snapping her fingers in the process.

"Uh, what? You say something?" I half mumbled as I reluctantly tore my gaze away from the currently hunched figure at the Slytherin table. I really was obsessed if I couldn't even stop myself from staring at him for a minute. I officially need a new hobby, a less creepy and more social one by the looks of it.

"I asked if you were nearly finished as we should really be heading to class soon, its nearing nine am"

"Yeah, I will be done in a minute, let me just grab a pop tart and we can head off" I muttered as I tried to suppress a rather large yawn, my hand leaning over the table to grab a strawberry pop tart as I stood up to leave. "What class do you have first anyway? I have double potions"

"Divination" Lexi shook her head at me as we casually strolled out the doors of the great hall, other students were darting pass us trying to make sure they were on class on time, but I didn't care about that. What was a few house points when I could make them back up and more from double potions alone? I was rather a whiz kid when it came to brewing things. Sadly, one of only a few things I was good at in this school. The other being Defence Against the Dark Arts. Two very Slytherin classes to excel in I might add.

"You do know you have the biggest goofiest grin on your face don't you" she laughed as we stopped outside in the entrance hall. "Why don't you just talk to him? I mean I don't know why you would want to, but you could always just try it. What's the worse that could happen?"

I scoffed rather loudly at her. "Are you for real? Lily would never speak to me again never mind what Sirius and James would do to me if they found out. They all hate him now after what he did to Lily at the end of fifth year, well James and Sirius hate him more as they always disliked him for some reason or another"

"Oh yeah, forgot about that" Lexi mumbled as she scratched the back of her head in an awkward manner, "Why do you even still want to know him after what he did to Lily then? I mean your mums a Muggle and all, so you can relate to how offensive being called that would be, can't you? Plus, he's creepy as hell Olivia!"

I laughed lightly. "Maybe I like creepy, remember my crush on Professor Flitwick last year? Now that was creepy as hell!" Her laughter joined my own as I continued on a slightly more serous note. "I know everyone thinks he's a horrid person and I don't blame them, what he did to Lily was beyond cruel, especially after she has been so nice to him all these years. But we all say things we don't mean at times and I know for a fact he tried to make it up to her the entire last year of school" Lexi raised an eyebrow at me as though to question how I could turn this around to my favour. I hated being proven wrong. "Plus, he must be nice for Lily to have hung around with him all that time. I mean, I know she is a bit mental at times, but she is usually a good judge of character. I mean look, she befriended us two didn't she?"

"True" Lexi agreed, while giving me a look which clearly said; your impossible Olivia White. "But if you do recall, she has also befriended the four most troublesome boys in the whole of Hogwarts itself. I think her judge of character is officially shot I'm afraid"

"Damn, thought I had you convinced there" I laughed as the first bell sounded indicating there was only five minutes until classes started.

"Look I've got to get to Divination, but I will see you at lunch!" she waved back at me as she ran towards the staircase. "We can talk more about this then if need be, but I would just forget about him and move on. He's not worth it!" She called behind her before she disappeared around the top of the first floor.

"If only I could Lexi, if only I could" I mumbled to myself as I turned and began making my way down towards the dungeons just as the second and final bell rang out, signalling class had officially started. Slughorn is going to rip me a new one, I thought as I began taking the steps two at a time now. His last words to me before the summer were, "Olivia White, if you are not seated for every one of my classes in seventh year before the first bell rings, I will give you a detention for every second you are late. You understand?" Needless to say, I understood but had forgotten and now, by the looks of my watch, I had racked up ten detentions already and I still had a good few corridors to sprint before I reached his classroom. I will be in detention until Easter at this rate!

"Ah, Miss White nice of you to join us this morning" Slughorn's cheery tone rang throughout the silent classroom as I barged through the door, three minutes late precisely. "Seems you have racked yourself up one hundred and eighty detentions, but lets just call it a weeks worth with Professor McGonagall and call it even shall we?"

I groaned loudly as I huffed and puffed myself over to my usual seat. My bright red hair was plastered to my face with sweat as I all but bolted it here from the ground floor and that was no minor feat I tell you!

"Yes-yes sir" I managed out before I collapsed exhausted into my chair, extremely thankful that this was a double period and therefore gave me double the time to get my energy back for traipsing all the way back up to civilization later.

"Oh and since you missed the beginning of the class Olivia, you missed being given the chance to choose your new partner for the year so I'm afraid I had to make your choice for you"

I was now composed enough to take a look at the twenty of so students in the class and noticed they where sitting in two's, their amused gazes lingering on mine as some began to whisper about something which apparently was rather amusing. What else have I missed?

"Severus, you can gather your things and go sit beside Olivia, your new potions partner for this year" Slughorn addressed a tall greasy looking boy at the front of the class. He had been hunched over his desk right behind where Slughorn had been standing or else I would of noticed him before. There was no way I would of missed him otherwise!

I physically gulped as he reluctantly trudged towards my desk at the back of the class, the whispers of the other students getting louder as he did so. I didn't see what was so amusing about me and Severus being partners? He was good at potions for a starters, very good actually, which I thought would of made him pick of the class when it came to choosing partners, but apparently not it seems. I quickly tried to fix my sweaty mop of hair and made the snap fast decision to address him, against all Lexi's earlier advice of forgetting about him I might add. How can I possibly snub someone who is now going to be sitting within inches of me? Inches! My face light up at how close we would be from now on in this class. I felt like my dreams where coming true!

"Hi Severus!" I beamed, most likely too loudly from the look I was receiving from him as he perched himself down as far away from me at the tiny desk as possible. "Sorry I was late, guess your stuck with me now eh?"

He lifted his intense gaze to mine for a moment as I became sucked into those black never ending eyes of his. "Unfortunately yes, I am"

My smile only broadened at his response which caused him to grimace further at my being. "Nice to know. So how was your summer then? Go away anywhere nice? I went to France with my family, was so nice there in July. The weather was really hot though and I don't really like the sun so got burnt quite a lot. At least its turned to a tan now, see? Never thought I would have a tan. Especially since I am normally the colour of Nearly Headless Nick! Funny how you turn white when you-"

"If you wouldn't mind shutting that rather large gob of yours for a moment so I could think, that would be nice" He drawled at me as his eyes narrowed into black slits. I almost sighed at the glare he was shooting at me right now, it was so...cute looking. He always looked cute when he was angry.

"If you feel it will help you, sure its fine. But I doubt me being quiet will make you think better though, your already super smart as it is" I smiled sweetly at him before turning to the front where Slughorn was writing ingredients for the Polyjuice Potion on the board. I could feel Severus' gaze on me as he muttered, what sounded like obscenities, under his breath. Such the gentleman he is. He's such a catch I know. I sighed heavily as I thought of how I would be spending the whole year with him by my side, rubbing shoulders with him and sharing the same workspace. It was magical!

Right then and there, I made a pact with myself that I was going to talk to him this year and make him like me. I mean hey, I was a very likeable and chatty person so I'm sure it wouldn't take long. Plus, I thought I should spend my time in his company doing something productive and what could be more productive than that? I just need to make sure I do it on the down low though as not to alert Lily or anyone else about my plans. To describe them as being upset by what I was planning on doing would be an understatement. Sirius alone would no doubt argue the reasons why I was out of my mind with me until we were both forty, never mind how he would no doubt castrate Severus if he ever got caught so much as glancing my way. Sirius was very protective of me after our little 'fling' last year didn't work out, it was just way too awkward considering I treated him like he was more my big brother than a potential sleeping partner. We were just too much in the friends zone which I was well more than happy staying in, as was he. Thank Merlin! Anyway, I could already feel my plans ending in disaster, but like I said before, I was stubborn, and there was no way I was going to give up that easily. I chanced a look at the person who was currently plaguing my thoughts and noticed him smile slightly through his black slicked hair, as he scribbled down the numerous ingredients from the board. Ah, his potions smile. The best expression he has I thought.

This year I was determined I was going to bag Severus Snape. I was going to snag a Slytherin, the most frowned upon thing to do in Hogwarts. Oh Merlin, what the hell am I doing...