Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait. The usual school related things held me up. Well, here it is. The second council. For those of you who haven't read my first oneshot, Ganondorf's Council of Annoyance, you should really check it out before reading this. Without further ado, lets start the next council.

Council of Rejects

Underneath the Clock Tower in Termina, three ominous figures gathered. One was a floating, decayed hand. Another was a walking corpse. The third and final figure was a brown gelatinous blob. The three looked at one another and nodded.

"Where are the rest of the members?" the hand asked.

"They'll be here. Let's set ourselves up while we wait," the blob replied.

The three figures, who were actually the head representatives of Wallmasters, Redeads, and Like-Likes, sat at the rectangular conference desk that they had bought and put there a few days ago.

"This place sure beats Koume and Kotake's basement any day. We should have held our own evil council in this place years ago," the Like-Like said.

"There's one thing that's been bothering me, though." The Wallmaster pointed at a smiling man with a huge pack on his back. The man was dressed in purple and one could see several masks decorating his pack. Obviously, this was the Happy Mask Salesman. "Why the hell is he always standing there? And rocking back and forth like that? It's starting to creep me out."

"You've met with a terrible fate haven't you?" the Happy Mask Salesman asked.

"Just ignore him. He came with the place in the rental deal we got." the Redead sighed.

"You've met with a terrible fate haven't you?"

The three monsters just stared at the man for a moment before turning back to one another.

"Soooo... who'd you invite?" the Redead asked the Like-Like.

"Well, I decided that we shouldn't invite all the villains we know or the meeting would have ended up like Ganondorf's. So, I took the liberty of inviting only the best of the best."

"Who'd you invite?" the Redead asked again, knowing full well that the Like-Like was lying.

"Alright, alright! No one actually wanted to come to a council held by a couple of rejects like us so I had to bring over anyone available! Are you happy now?" the Like-Like admitted.

"Great," the Wallmaster put in, "Well, as long as that annoying, tunic-wearing bastard doesn't appear, I'm perfectly..."

"Greetings, worms! I, the great Mido, have come to lead this pathetic meeting!"

Mido stood at the entrance in the usual pompous manner of his.

"Joy. Now we have to deal with the creep in purple along with the immortal midget. Why not add in the annoying fairy to complete the deal?" the Redead complained.

"Hey! Did someone say annoying fairy? Hello!" Navi flew in through the open door.

"Oh, for heaven's sake! What did I do to deserve this?" the Wallmaster wailed.

"Come on. It's not that bad. Maybe we can actually get something done with these guys." the Like-Like said sheepishly.

"Who else did you invite?" the Redead asked cautiously.

"Well... just a few other possible members..."

As soon as he said this, a whole crowd of people and monsters rushed in. The first to rush in were Odolwa, Goht, Gyorg, and Twinmold. Following closely were Anju, Kafei, the mayor, Kafei and Anju's mothers, Darmani, Lulu, the giant turtle, Kamaro, Sakon, Naruto, the monkeys, the Deku King and princess, the Goron elder, Team Rocket, the Deku Butler, the Gerudo Pirates, the old professor who lived in the Great Bay area, the beaver brothers, all three of the Gorman brothers, Toto, Darth Vader, Majora, the four giants, Guru-Guru, Skull Keeta, Igos du Ikana, Pamela, Captain Viscen, the Curiosity Shop owner, the Bomber Society, and finally the postman. Needless to say, the place was pretty cramped.

"YOU IDIOT! YOU WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO BRING OVER THE VILLAINS!" the Redead roared at the Like-Like.

"I'm sorry! Only those four," the Like-Like gestured towards Odolwa, Goht, Gyorg, and Twinmold, " actually agreed to join! I thought we would need more members, so I bribed everyone I saw with cake to join!"

"So, the cake was a lie?" Kafei shouted out. Mass pandemonium ensued.

"EVERYONE, SHUT UP!"

Everyone did so as the Wallmaster tried to compose itself.

"Okay, I'll decide who can stay and who leaves!" the Wallmaster said.

Soon only Odolwa, Goht, Gyorg, Twinmold, and the postman (don't ask) remained. Darth Vader was also allowed to stay but he soon left, muttering something about copyrights or whatnot. The rest were not considered good enough, or too much of a jerk, to join and were thrown out by Odolwa. Unfortunately, Mido remained due to his invincibility thing. Navi also stayed because she threatened to annoy anyone who touched her. The Happy Mask Salesman, of course, stayed exactly where he stood before due to the council leaders' rental contract.

"Well, now that that's taken care of, we can finally proceed with our meeting!" the Wallmaster proudly declared.

Majora suddenly burst into the room again.

"How dare you not accept me into your lowly council! I'm one of the most evil villains in the whole game series! Not to mention that you're holding your council on my turf! If you don't accept me now, I'll make you wish you were never born! I'll eat your souls and then spit out the remains in the darkest pits of hell! After that, I'll..."

Majora's rant was cut short as the Like-Like ate him and spat him out of the Clock Tower.

"LOL. I'd like to see that floating mask do something now." the Like-Like said.

DAWN OF THE FIRST DAY

72 HOURS REMAIN

"Where the hell did those giant floating letters appear from?" the Redead questioned.

"Don't know, don't care. Now, let's finally start this meeting before we get interrupted..."

The Wallmaster's statement was interrupted as a group of aliens with giant, glowing eyes ran into the room. They seemed to be carrying a few cows with them.

"Whew! I think we lost them!" one of the aliens let out. "See, this is why we only try to steal the cows during the night!"

"Ah, shut up! We totally would have gotten away without being seen if Larry here didn't try to flirt with that farmer girl!"

"Oh, you're one to talk. Besides, you're the one who blew our cover in the first place! You just had to hold the cow over your head and loudly tell the entire world that you obtained a cow!"

"Both of you, just shut the fuck up! The point is that we safely managed to... Hey, are you guy's holding some type of evil council?"

The Wallmaster was about to reply when Cremia and Romani suddenly burst in. Romani carried her standard bow and arrow while Cremia was holding a crossbow. Both seemed ready to kill.

"Shit! Run for your lives!" one of the aliens screamed as they all started to run further down the Clock Tower.

"Come back with those cows and we'll give you a less painful death!" Cremia shouted out as she opened fire on the aliens. Unfortunately, her aim wasn't exactly the best and most of the council members suddenly found themselves turned into living pincushions.

The aliens fled, screaming. Cremia and Romani gave chase shouting out occasional death threats as they ran. Soon the shouts were blocked out as they all went out through the bottom door.

"Okay... Let's hurry up and start this damn meeting before another..."

Night of the First Day

60 Hours Remain

"That's it! Mido! Stand in front of the main entrance and use your passageway-blocking-ability to make sure we're not interrupted!" the Wallmaster commanded.

"Why should I? The great Mido will not serve as a mere bouncer for a lowly..."

"Just do it or we'll superglue Navi to your head!"

"Fine, fine. You don't have to be so pushy about it," Mido grumbled as he walked out to guard the entrance.

"Finally, we can actually start.."

"Whoa! Check it out! There's a giant moon looking down at us!" Mido suddenly said from the outside.

If the Wallmaster had a face, it would have face-planted.

"Yes, Mido. We have things called moons on this planet. Sometimes, you can see a full moon and it'll look really big." the Wallmaster told Mido, emphasizing every word.

"No, I mean that..."

"Look! Just shut up and guard the frickin' entrance! It's not that hard, okay?"

Mido stopped interrupting then.

"Finally! Alright, lets get this meeting started. The first order of business is to introduce ourselves to the rest of the group. Let's start with the postman."

"Umm, the postman's dead." the Redead flatly stated.

"What? When did this happen?"

"When that deranged farmer girl shot at us. Poor guy took three arrows to the head and four to chest." Gyorg sadly told the Wallmaster.

"Okay, then we'll start the introductions with Twinmold."

"He's dead too."

"Fine! Let's skip the whole damn introductions part then! Okay, second order of business. Our goal is to gain recognition from the game developers so that we can feature in Skyward Sword. My idea is that we kill Link to prove how awesome we really are. If we can succeed in accomplishing what Ganondorf couldn't do for about a hundred games, we'll totally feature in the next Legend of Zelda."

"Hey, listen! Wouldn't that be kind of a stupid plan? Watch out! If Link's dead, they'll be no one left to feature as the main character. Hello! I mean, if he's not going to save Hyrule, who is? Hey!

"Damn. The annoying fairy has a point. What else can we..."

DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY

48 HOURS REMAIN

"Why the hell are these giant letters coming out for?" the Like-Like complained.

"Look, can we please not get interrupted by every single disturbance we face?" the Wallmaster asked.

"Watch out! Who died and put you in charge? Hello!"

"I'm in charge because I'm the only one who seems to actually care about getting this meeting moving along! As for who died, it'll be you if you don't shut up!" the Wallmaster shouted.

"Hey, listen! Sheesh, you don't have to get so worked up about it! Hey!"

"Well, we could always try threatening the game developers. After all, we are a group of giant monsters, right?" Goht proposed.

"No, if we use that plan we'll be sued for sure. Besides, these game developers are more deadlier than they appear. One time, they made Mario feature in the worst game ever created, just because Mario complained that he didn't get enough dialogue in his games. I, for one, definitely don't want to feature in Luigi's Mansion 2 or something else horrible like that."

"That sucks. Maybe we can just kill Ganondorf to show what great villains we are." Odolwa put in.

"I wish we could but we can't. Apparently, Link kills Ganondorf off for good in Twilight Princess. Anyways, if we kill Ganondorf, that would make us heroes, not villains."

"How about this. We switch..."

Gyorg was cut short as a door was heard slamming open from downstairs. A few moments later, Cremia and Romani walked up, leading a group of cows with them.

"That'll teach those aliens not to mess with our cows! I swear, if even one of them shows up again, I'll grab its insides and pull it out through its... Hey, what are you guys doing?" Cremia asked the rather petrified council.

"Ummm... we were just... uh..."

Night of the Second Day

36 Hours Remain

"Well, that was strange. Anyways, what are you guys doing here?" Cremia asked with a smile.

"You've met with a terrible fate haven't you?" the Happy Mask Salesman randomly put in.

Cremia looked in confusion at the group.

"Just ignore him. As for what we're doing, we need to figure out how to prove ourselves worthy of featuring in the next game." the Like-Like told her.

"You nincompoop! You don't just tell random people what we're planning to do! That defeats the whole purpose of holding a secret council!" the Wallmaster scolded the Like-Like.

"So, you guys want to feature in another Legend of Zelda game too. Well, we know what it feels like to be left out of a new game. We didn't exactly get much screen time in Majora's Mask and then we stopped appearing at all. Tell you what, me and my sister will help you if you pay us 100 rupees per hour. That seems fair doesn't it?" Cremia offered the group.

The council members looked at the crossbow she was still holding and they all nodded their consent.

"Great! Now then, what ideas have we got?"

"Ahem... Well, as I was saying, we should secretly switch the storyline for Skyward Sword. We'll make it so that the game will be so incredibly easy that the game developers will have to put us back in when they make the game after that." Gyorg told them.

"Umm, are you guys the villains in the game? Because I don't see how this plan would help anyone else besides a bad guy. Now that I think about it, all of you guys do seem hideous enough to actually be Legend of Zelda villains." Cremia noted, her smile fading.

"Er, what would happen to us on the slight chance that we actually are villains?" the Like-Like asked hesitantly.

Romani spoke up for the first time since the meeting.

"Well that's simple. Since Romani likes Grasshopper, Romani will have to terminate all of you for harassing Romani's future boyfriend. Of course, a bit of rough torture would serve as a great example to all the other villains that would dare hurt Romani's dear Grasshopper. How do you guys feel about crucifixion?"

The entire council turned deathly pale.

"No! We're not villains! We're actually... uhhh... very ugly NPCs! Yeah! We're just your usual, everyday NPCs!" the Wallmaster hurriedly said.

"Then how does your plan from earlier actually help you guys?"

"We... uhhh... only seem to appear when the game is actually very challenging. Ummm... for example, Goht here appeared right in the middle of the water temple in Ocarina of Time, the hardest dungeon in the whole gaming series." Gyorg quickly lied.

"Oh. Well, that must suck for you guys. For a second there, I thought I was going to have to burn all of you alive at the stake. Glad we got this simple misunderstanding taken care of before someone got hurt." Cremia told them with a smile back on her face.

"Yeah... let's just continue on with this meeting before something else happens." the Wallmaster replied.

DAWN OF THE FINAL D...

A loud voice suddenly shouted from far above.

"You know what? I'm sick and tired of always having to wait three days before I can crush everyone with a moon! I'll just say that I lost track of time when my parole officer checks in. Now then, all of you enjoy your one-way trip to hell!"

Confused, the entire council, except the Happy Mask Salesman, ran outside to see what the commotion was about. What met their eyes was a horrifying sight. An enormous grinning moon was slowly descending towards them, threatening to crush all life from the planet. At the top of the Clock Tower was Majora who seemed to be the one who had shouted earlier.

"Why is he trying to kill us all?" Romani asked the group.

Everyone turned to glare at the Like-Like.

"Great going, you nitwit! You just had to tick off the one guy who has an unnatural obsession for crushing things with a moon!" the Wallmaster screamed at the Like-Like as it smacked the brown blob through a building.

"So, this is how it all ends. Huh. I thought I would feature in at least one more game before I died. Looks like my dream was never meant to be." Odolwa sadly lamented as he accepted his fate.

"Goht?" Gyorg turned to face the mechanical bull. "I just want to let you know that I've always loved you. Even when you dumped me for Twinmold, I always believed we would be together, one way or the other."

Goht turned to look at Gyorg before replying, "And I've loved you too. I'm sorry for leaving you. I was truly an idiot to have dumped a fine fish like you for a mere sand worm. Can you ever forgive me?"

Both of them suddenly embraced and began making out.

While all this was happening, Mido did what most people would have done during an apocalypse.

"We're all going to die! We're all going to die! I don't want to die! I'm too young to die! Someone save me!" Mido suddenly stopped running around in circles. "Oh, wait a minute. I'm immortal! Hah hah! Sucks to be you right now, pathetic mortals!"

Cremia looked at the strange scene unfolding before her. She looked at the oncoming moon and sighed.

"Hey." No one paid any attention to her. "HEY!" This, along with a few arrows from her crossbow, definitely did.

"Ow! What was that for?" Odolwa cried out as he pulled out an arrow from his ass.

"Look. The moon will disappear if Majora is defeated, right?"

"Probably," the Wallmaster replied.

"Fine, I'll stop the moon for you guys. Of course, I'll charge a hefty price for doing this. However, as things currently stand, I don't think all of you have a lot of choice."

The Wallmaster looked at the oncoming moon and nodded to Cremia.

"Okay. How much do you want?"

"I'll charge 8000 rupees for getting the job done. Plus, you guys still have to pay me 1200 rupees for the council. All that will amount to exactly 9200 rupees."

"What? Over 9000? That's impossible! Besides, you didn't do anything to help during the meeting!"

The ground started to shake ominously.

"Okay, okay, okay! Just hurry up and stop that giant piece of rock!"

Cremia ran up the stairs that lead to the top of the Clock Tower and Majora. Everyone below now had their attentions glued to the top of the Clock Tower. They couldn't see what was happening but they could still hear. Suddenly, they all heard Majora laughing his head off.

"Hah ha ha ha ha! Really? That's the best that you pathetic infidels can come up with? Sending a farm girl to defeat me? What are you going to do, throw corncobs at me? Oh, I'm so scared! What will I ever... Hey, what are you doing with that crossbow?

Everyone below heard multiple arrows being fired, followed by a scream.

"Ow! Why did you have to shoot my eyes for? Do you have any idea how much that hurts? Alright, if you want to play rough, I'll show you rough!"

Even from far below, the council could see that Majora was transforming. He suddenly grew out two whip-like arms along with long spindly legs. As he grew bigger, the group could see that Majora had also gained a horn on his head and had three eyes on his face. An evil aura surrounded him as he began to laugh in a deep and demonic voice.

"Mwah hah hah hah! Tremble in fear at my true form! Now you shall see why I'm the most bad-ass villain in the whole Legend of Zelda series! None shall..."

His monologue was cut short as the council saw a red-headed figure jump-tackle Majora. Majora was instantly knocked down. Then the screaming began.

"What are you...! Is that my liver? It is my liver! Stop! Please, I'm begging you! No, not my eyes! Ahhhhhh! My eyes! Have mercy on me!"

The council saw Majora trying to crawl off the Clock Tower. They could instantly see that two of his eyes were gouged out. Even as his hands/whip-things tried to grasp the edge of the platform, he was dragged back.

"Oh my...! Where did you get a freakin' chainsaw? No! Not my arms!"

The screaming continued for a few more minutes. Even before Majora was effectively killed, the moon took one look at the scene taking place below and it flew back up in fear. The council stood in horrified silence as Majora's cries of pain subsided.

"Well, that was easy," Cremia said as she nonchalantly walked back down, dusting off purple powder from her dress. She then turned to look at the fear-struck council.

"Now then, pay up."

The Wallmaster looked at the other council members. They all shook their heads and slowly started backing up.

"Please tell me that you have my payment." Cremia told the Wallmaster with a smile. "If you don't, me and my sister will have to horribly maim you."

The Wallmaster suddenly pointed up into the sky.

"Look! It's more of those aliens!"

While Cremia turned her head to look, the entire council, even the invincible Mido, ran for their lives. A few seconds later both Cremia and Romani chased after them, shouting out what they were going to do to them once they were caught.

And, during all this chaos, the Happy Mask Salesman randomly walked out of the Clock Tower.

"You've all met with a terrible fate, haven't you?"

Another Author's Note: Just to clarify a few things if you were confused. I wrote this on the basis that time goes by like it does in game. So for every hour in there, its actually only a minute. Yeah. Don't try to make sense of this, its a parody after all. Stay tuned for the alternate ending!