Author's note: This story contains references to; and mildly graphic descriptions of physical, psychological and sexual abuse of adults and (clones as) children. There are also references to suicide, drug addiction and male prostitution. Though this story does not contain "slash" there are a few references to homosexual behavior. There is one non-physically descript record of hedrosexual intercourse, as well as mild language. The other topic that is dealt with frequently is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder due to combat and other traumatic events.

These issues are addressed from a Christian world view. (How is that woven into a Star Wars story - you'll just have to read to find out.)

This story was written to give a thoughtful perspective on a Christian relationship to God in a science-fiction setting.

I've attempted to remain true to what is currently known of the Star Wars canon and George Lucus's interpretation of "the Force". (The force not being God.)

This is a fan writing a fiction about Stars, Wars (and the personalities there of) which she does not own. Although most of the main characters in this story are myths of my own mind - Clone Wars personas that do appear (or are mentioned) are: Obi Wan Kanobi, Anakin Skywalker, Ashoka, Captain Rex, Commander Cody, Boba Fett and Jango Fett)

My literary Last Will and Testament to all the Rex / Ashoka Fans:

To you all; I leave an intrigue woven into a story that addresses much more than a loving thing or a one night fling. The complicated issue of officers in the same chain of command finding themselves linked by more than just orders. In any conflict this is inevitable for all who put on the garb of combat. There's ones you grow to love, ones you implicitly trust, ones you owe your life too and the few others you secretly wish the enemy would kill!

Needless to say:

Military Morale is a funny thing that way.

So reading on for those who may wish to see;

A Rex / Ashoka pairing - albeit as unorthodox as this one may be!

As always; reviews are welcome, although I promise I won't die without them.

The Jangette Diaries

"Operation Freedom Flight"

Day 1: Proto-type female clone escapes from Kamino.

Day 2: Here's where the real story begins.

Well I do say, I think all those years of studying combat training manuals in my "spare time" paid off. I pushed all the right buttons yesterday (and in the right order too) to get this ship to jump to hyper space. That was a thrill a minute; provided I didn't end up killing myself first! Even that though, would have been better than where I came from and the plans they had for me there! Disgusting these cloners! Who's hair-brained idea was it anyways to breed clones? Isn't that why we're cloned in the first place? My sincerest apologies, but; if the Kaminoans have problems with their gene pool? They can fix it themselves! Anyways, enough with them; I got bigger worries right now. Stay low on the profile and don't get shot down by Separatists! Seems easy enough right? Ha ha!

Day 3: I've been scanning this shuttle's computer logs for anything that's potentially of use to me. The info on rockets, munitions and battery charges is definitely helpful. No sense in flying an armed shuttle if I don't know how to fire the damn weapons. I've logged so many hours now reading manuals though, I'm starting to dream about lasers.

I did find something of interest that rather breaks up the monotony of dry and boring weapons systems. There's a history in the data base about the Jedi. Interesting, I wonder if I'm ever going to meet one? And if I do, would they be impressed with my ability to "force" small objects? (He he!) I don't know, maybe this is one of those little secretes I should keep to myself. A force sensitive clone? What an ironic contradiction that is! But then again, I suppose I am an ironic contradiction. Bet they never expected me to go Jango on them!

Day 4: Well, I passed through some Hutt territory today. Wasn't as tricky as I thought it would be. I just told them my video monitor was down, so we'd have to communicate by audio only. They heard me and I do suppose, from the shuttle I'm flying; thought I was a researcher who worked on Kamino. Never knew it was actually a clone in here! I did find a way to get around the voice issue though; just use the computer's auditory translation relay. I tweaked it a little bit so I didn't sound so much like a girl. Worked well considering I don't speak Huttese; (or at least it worked well this time)! What happens if I run into a ship where they actually expect to talk to me and not my computer translator? Hum? What then? It'd be a little awkward to video monitor with a helmet on. What's wrong with that stupid clone and why does his voice sound so funny? Dumb shiny take your helmet off! (Ha!)

Well, I'm defiantly to the outer rim and looks like I'm headed further into where the action really is! Kind of exciting! We were... bread, to be soldiers and that's what I want to do. Laying around aint exactly my idea of fulfilling a useful purpose. (No pun intended; or yes, maybe pun intended!) Either way; I'm wondering how it is I'm ever going to "follow these orders", so to speak? I mean, it's not like I can pull up to the nearest battle cruiser and say: "Hi, here I am ready to sign on!" Yeah that would be a first class ticket to disaster! Experiments in clone breeding commence! No thanks!

Anyways; I've been reading more on Jedi history and I'm thinking I might want to try tapping into the force and see if I can reach someone. A little guidance is good for all of us! I got to be careful though; I don't want to get the wrong side! The presence of the dark Sith seems to be especially strong now. I keep getting this bad feeling! Something awful is about to happen. I'm just not sure what it is? So maybe I'll just keep my mind to myself! Besides, I don't think my abilities are really that potent. (No pun intended there either! Ha, ha..)

Day 5: I SHOT DOWN MY FIRST TINNY TODAY! (Yeah for me!) Had a lone (probably lost) Separatist droid ship coming my way. I did a quick dash behind an asteroid and - Blam! Nailed 'em right up the tail pipe; or at least I think that was the tail pipe? Anyways, I've officially been in combat now; well, at least kind of.

Thinking it's time to land her somewhere and survey my options. I mean it's not like I can just hang out here in space indefinitely! There is an inhabitable planet about 5 parsects away. Think I'm going to go check it out. At least I can regroup there and decide what to do next? I'm coming to the conclusion more and more though, that soldiering very well may not be an option for me; or at least not in the traditional manner seemingly stuck in my head? If I join this war "as a clone"; someone is defiantly going to discover that I wasn't ever suppose to be let out into the theater and send me back to Kamino. Maybe my best alternative is to land somewhere and survey the civilian populace until I think I can make a good fake on them; then join some planetary civilian resistance. No one may recognize me, as it's not that they would ever be expecting to see a clone chick! Or at least I hope not.

I've never seen one of the brothers up close before though, so I don't really know? How much do I actually look like a clone? The closest I've ever seen is Boba Fett. He used to sneak me candy and we'd hide out in one of the Kaminoan's offices after hours and play strategic games on their computers. Oh he used to get so mad when I'd kill him at bounty hunter! That was weird though. We met and started these games, both at about 5 years old and by the time he was 10; I was 15. That was almost three years ago now. He's 12 and I'm 20! How do ya like them birthday odds? Talk about "leap year"!

Well, speaking of little Boba; I've been considering now writing down what happened, how I actually got out of the cloning facility and off the planet. I'm not sure that's a good idea though? If I ever get caught; I may need some of that information again. I will say though, it was certainly getting close to time to leave. I was now considered "mature" and the cloners were getting all excited to start their experiment. Eeeww! I don't even know who the male counterpart was suppose to be. I mean the only one I ever saw was — NO! That's not just gross; that's wrong! I'm not even going to think about it!

Day 6: Well I landed under early morning fog cover and as far as I can tell; no-one's picked up my ship. I've got my own little "hanger" in the cleft of a mountain side here and I just happened to luck upon a grove of fruit trees who's crop is pretty tasty. I have absolutely no idea where the hell I am; seeing how there seemed to be a lot missing from my space map data banks! I wonder what idiot erased them all? (Ahem - I hope it wasn't me!)

Anyways; my ship's sensors have picked up com-links and I can get fuzzy transmissions of troop's communications. I don't have quite enough information yet though to plot locations. I do know there's an encampment of droids in the valley just on the other side of the mountains. I'm trying to pinpoint their power generator, so I can disable them all. Why waste munitions, when one strategic shot can put all the tinnies out of my misery. Another few hours of surveillance should do me well!

Day 7: Little snafu in the battle plan here; wounded clone! (Not me though.) I did manage to pinpoint the generator; but an incoherent, stammering cry for help came loud and clear through my helmet com-link. I did manage to find the poor sap. He's now laying unconscious on the floor of my shuttle; while I'm packing up extra detonator charges. This generator is bigger than I first suspected. It'll be dark before too much longer and after carrying my injured comrade; I'm pooped. I've kept a close watch on these droids though and they haven't moved in the past 24 hours? Wonder what's up with that? They seem to be activated? So, I'll catch myself a few hours and leave at 2 AM. I figure it will take me about two hours to get to my target, 10 minutes to set the charges and five seconds to run like hell! Either way; I think I'll be OK.

2 AM: (technically day 8:) Mission on hold again. Wounded clone warned me about hidden defenses. Time to regroup and think of plan B. He's out again though; so I'm not sure how reliable his information is? I didn't run into any defenses when I crossed their power grid; so, I don't know? Better safe than dead though!

Wounded clone hasn't put two and two together yet. He keeps calling me "brother" and tells me I look like a girl! I don't know if he's in denial, delirious or just plain dense? Either way, I guess he inadvertently answered some of the questions I've had. The resemblance between the two of us is uncanny and I'm not sure if that's good news or bad news?

Wounded clone appears to have a broken leg. Well I splinted it and drugged him up real good. Now he sounds quite happy. (He's laying on the floor staring at the port bulkhead giggling to himself. I'm almost afraid to ask what that's all about?) There's another difficulty I've encountered though, that I'm not quite sure how to handle. Yesterday, I took myself out to the nearest river; although it's quite obvious now that I'm not the only one who stank. (Ah - one of us still does!) Wounded clone apparently needs a bath and unfortunately, I'm short of brothers to give him one. So, it looks like I'm about to get more intimately acquainted with this guy than I particularly care too. It was uncomfortable enough just dragging him to the refresher and quick closing the door before he fell out. (Something about that doesn't sound quite right either.) Anyways, I guess I'll wait till he falls into oblivion again before I go about changing the air quality in here.

11 PM: Well, wounded clone is clean; (and so are his underclothes, although they aint dry yet). It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. He stayed unconscious through the duration. (Hey, that's what sedatives are for; my comfort as well as his - right?) And yes, my suspicions were confirmed; he is anatomically very different than me! But, then again, I suspected that would be the case. Wait till he wakes up though and can't find his clothes! As selfish as this is to say; better his humiliation than mine!

Day 9: Wounded clone has been awake most of the morning. He took only being wrapped in a sheet a lot better than I would have. He seems a little more "with it" than the previous two days; although he can't seem to get over the fact that I'm really not a guy! He's asked me all kinds of questions as to why I was created in the first place? I haven't told him though; not sure I really want him to know. Don't wanna give him any ideas. Either way, he seems rather nice. Told me they call him Salam; which is the name of some ancient city on some planet called Earth. He said quite a few of the men in his unit have ancient city names.

He explained that they learned about these cities (and the stories that contain them) from some other clone who'd accidentally managed to hyper-space himself half way across the universe! This clone's name was Shiloh and Salam said that Shiloh came from a different clone army than ours. (A very different clone army - as he put it.) All those clones have names, he told me; which was a lot more appealing to him than the designation number we all refer to ourselves as! Shiloh told him that we were all of a species called "human"; which originated on this mysterious planet "Earth". Interesting, I don't know? I've never heard of any of this before! From what I know, all us clones came from Mandalorian cultural roots. I know Mandalorian culture incorporates many peoples and species; but I'd never heard where humans actually came from!

Which has got me to thinking. Salam asked me if I had a name and I didn't know exactly what to say, because though I kinda do have one; I don't like it! I'd rather be called something else. I have to put that one on the back burner for a couple of days and really decide what name I should have. Starting a new life you know; might as well have a new identity! Kind of tough one though, because honestly; I don't even know who I am?

Odd, as I thought that Salam actually had a name and so did all the men in his unit. He's just a common clone, nothing special about him. I can tell from his armor. Albite what ever his unit is that have decorated themselves so very smartly; he says he holds no rank and nor do any of his comrades... really. "We are a very small group." He tells me.

They'd split off from a larger battalion almost 2 years ago now; when their commander and most of the squadron had been killed. They'd waited for three days for a transport, but no-one came back for them. I guess they've been on this goofy planet ever since? Anyways, he said that a Jedi, (who already had found several clones) discovered them about 3 months later. They'd banded with other "strays" who'd also been displaced by battle and now have organized into their own planetary fighting force. I guess he said there's about 60 of them now, who work this segment of planet they call Geofore. He concurred with me that this place is apparently at least under Separatist influence; if not total control. I've never heard of this planet before and to my knowledge, it's not on any of my star charts. (That doesn't mean anything though! Ahem - eraser queen.)

6 PM: This afternoon passed without either of us ever really going outside of the shuttle. (Other then my momentary absence so he could get dressed.) Salam helped me reprogram my computer data banks, so they more accurately represent our current geography. He gave me the last known coordinates of everything and everyone he had. We discussed at length how to get to the tinny generator. He told me all the approaches they had previously tried and when I came up with a few more; he said he was quite impressed with my creativity. Where did I learn battle strategy like that anyways? He never remembered his education having such detail as I had laid out. Years of computer games with young-ling Boba Fett. I told him. I don't think he quite believed me though.

I asked him what he'd been trained in? He said he'd gotten quite a bit of field experience operating troop transport and such; but he had a preference in medical. He said the war has brought great losses of clones and some of the guys are even beginning to question the justice of their use in it? We're real men fighting machines and most of the Jedi honestly have no idea how to general an army. They were peace keepers not soldiers.

"So what of the Jedi commanding your unit?" I inquired, after pondering his statement about 'keeping the peace'.

"We have a young at heart Master who grew up in the jungles of Coruscant; as she calls it. She's quite good at urban combat because that's what she lived most of her teenage years. She joined the Jedi order later in life and made "most impressive strides in training"; as to Grand Master Yoda's opinion." Salam answered.

"All of us have great respect and care for her, not because her Jedi skills run her war plans, but because her devotion to us does. Our unit has some of the lowest casualty rates any of us have ever seen, because she's so careful. She laughs and says many others have criticized her for holding back too much; but most of us clones are still here because she's made it her first and foremost priority to keep us alive." He added. "Jedi aren't suppose to form attachments; but I don't think Alexandria really got that memo. She's quite attached to us; 'her clones'!" Salam chuckled as he launched into a story.

"Oh Alexandria got into it on one mission briefing with an Anakin Skywalker, who'd passed through this sector and was pleasantly surprised to find us on this planet. Well, after running into a patch of recently deployed tinny ships; he had one idea as how to defeat them and she said no, there were too many holes in it - it needed to be rethought. He got real mad when she turned to his second in command and asked Captain Rex: "What do you think we should do?" For what ever reason, he didn't answer though."

Salam said this surprised his Jedi Alexandria because of what she knew of the few times she'd met this Captain. He's pretty outspoken. "After Obi Wan attempted to broker an agreement between them, they still couldn't come up with a consensus; so they divided the mission and let each handle their segment as they saw fit." Salam explained. "And yet again, more of us came out alive than any of the other units."

"After the mission, Alexandria and Skywalker got into an argument in the hallway. That's one thing about Alexandria though; when she gets mad - her speech goes the way of Jar Jar Binks. Every one started laughing when she told Anakin his clones were getting wasted. Which was probably literally true and in more ways than one." Salam started to giggle. "We all knew what she meant, but it took her a minute to catch her own - Freudian slip; as someone once called it."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"Oh sorry." Salam corrected himself. "You're still somewhat of a shinny aren't you?" He giggled.

"To "get wasted" means to be too oft be intoxicated on liqueur, and..." Salam paused. "Freudian slip is a mis-speak that's thought to reveal some 'dynamically repressed' or subconscious thought, desire, wish, conflict. Stuff like that. Like if I were under Sky-guy's command; I think I'd want to "get wasted" too!"

"Do they really get drunk all the time?" I inquired.

"Oh, I don't actually know; probably not." Salam sheepishly confessed. "We were only on board the Resolute for three days and I didn't see anything like that; but they definitely got issues on that ship. Obi Wan's got his hands full for sure! Between Anakin and his Padawan, I don't know who in the Jedi counsel rolled the dice on those two but? Maybe Yoda knew what he was talking about when he told Qui Gon Jinn not to train this kid. Too bad they didn't listen to the old-timer." Salam let out a morose and frighteningly ominous chuckle. "I think that one will go down in the annals of Jedi history as the biggest blunder ever made! I suppose Obi is really regretting it now; or at least I hope so."

Hum? I thought for a moment as recollections of certain aspects of "obedience training" ran through my head. I thought all clones were always suppose to honor and respect their Jedi commanders? I guess things aren't as cut and dry as we've all been lead to believe? I pondered a moment before I sprung my next query on Salam.

"And the Padawan?" I questioned.

"Oh don't get me started on her!" Salam sighed and shook his head. "I think she's 16, or maybe 17? She's extremely skilled with a light saber and more competent in battle now; but she's still snippy, somewhat arrogant and in my opinion, rather bratty. I don't know what ship Sky-guy and Obi Wan are living on, but no one seems to notice - young chick doth lust after Captain Rex with great fervor!"

"What?" I cocked my head and looked at Salam for his long list of colorfully strung together utterances.

"She got the hots for the 501st's clone commanding officer. Ya know, she likes him, wants him, thinks she's madly in love - when it's just pubescent hormones! She seems to have convinced herself though that it's genuine, when it only seems to me that she just wants to know what it's like to have sex with a clone!" Salam made a funny face and started giggling. "Oh." Was my only comment as Salam took one look at me and laughed himself right off his chair.

Have things in this war really gotten that bad? I began to wonder as I turned back to my computer consol. I mean I'd heard 'rumors'; I guess you'd call them and one time took an 'unofficial glimpse' at a report sent to one of the Kaminoans about 'troop morale'. They'd returned a unit of clones who'd been caught "engaging each other in lewd behavior". I wasn't sure exactly what that meant, but do suppose I'd guessed fairly accurately. (I cringe at just the memory.) Brief said that "all that had happened destroyed unit cohesion."

Hum? Is that what all this ... "stuff" really does? I wondered about Salam's description of this Padawan and her clone captain. I don't know? Maybe we've got this all wrong? Maybe all these "goings on" aren't that weird after all? (Or maybe we are just totally wrong about the "goings on" anyways?) I guess we'll just have to see for ourselves; now won't we?

Mission Debriefing: (Or rather just my stupid notes to myself!)

So much has happened these past couple of days; my head is spinning. I can hardly believe I even made it off Kamino; not to say actually "found the war". (Not that I'd heard the war was that hard to find; but anyways!) I guess I can say I'm happy to be here; or maybe just happy to be some place other than "there". (If that makes much sense?) So many new and interesting things to see and do. It's so much more exciting than Kamino!

And these battle droids? Weird objects of fascination, I know. I'd read all the specs on them; (amongst all the other "boring" ...excrement I've gone over now about a hundred or so times). I'd found a "dead" one in the dirt when I was out snooping around the generator. All the wires and circuits sticking out. It's burnt and crispy...brain chips, all scattered around the ground just outside it's titanium skull. It's twisted and broken limbs protruding from the scrubby bushes. It's little... whatever's flashing at me? It's just a machine and it gave me the weebie jeebies. What's going to happen when I come across a dead organic? (Cringing as my stomach does a flip flop.) Won't think about that right now! Just cross that bridge when I come to it.

But then there's Salam! (Cringing flip flop exchanged for happy grin.) Yes, the rather kind-hearted, yet obviously opinionated clone trooper! Opinionated clone trooper? Now doesn't that sound funny! We aren't suppose to be opinionated; now are we? (Chuckle chuckle, grin grin!) That's OK though. I kind 'a like him. Opinionated or not; we seem to work well together.

I'm glad things have turned out so well so far. I'm still alive - Yeah!

Think it's time for bed though; I'm tired!

So (sigh); good night ...ehhh...(nameless) girl?