Between Two Lungs

By: doctorrosetyler

Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who or Florence and the Machine's song "Between Two Lungs"

Summary: The Doctor comes up with a way to cheat his way of cheating death. Rose is changed irrevocably, and perhaps for the better.

She had almost lost him.

He lay in her bed, his still sort-of-brown hair matted with sweat. His face, the one that she so dearly loved, was thankfully still the same.

They had faced a formidable alien force this afternoon. They had come across a dead Dalek ship, and the people of a militant planet had harnessed the lasers from the old suits. They were planning to take over the neighboring planets using those weapons. The Doctor had foiled the plot, but one rebel soldier took revenge and shot him.

She had barely managed to get him back to the TARDIS med bay. He was glowing all over, and telling her he might have to regenerate. She knew this, but didn't want him to die so quickly. She asked if there was anything she could do, and he gave her instructions.

So, he had regenerated…partially. He healed himself with the regeneration energy, and put the rest of it into her using a DNA transfer…which she preferred to call a kiss.

Because she was pretty sure a DNA transfer didn't need to involve tongue.

Now, though, she was terribly worried about him. He had regeneration sickness again, and tea wasn't helping this time. He warned her that he would be sick, but he was so very ill that she was genuinely concerned. His sleep was fitful at best, one of his hearts was stopping occasionally, and he kept breathing out a golden mist.

Every once in a while, he would wake, and she would try to feed him, or give him water. He would try to sit up, but he was so weak. He told her he could be like this for a few more hours, or for several days. She was afraid his body couldn't take it for several days. She desperately hoped he would get better soon. She hated to see him in so much pain.

She stayed in her room with him, which the TARDIS had outfitted with a station for making tea and soup. She could feel the ship urging her to sleep, too, but she couldn't. She wanted to be awake in case he needed anything. She was far too concerned to sleep.

He stirred, his eyes opening. They were hazy and she was instantly at his side. He was lying in the middle of her large bed, so she sat beside him and stroked his damp bangs out of his eyes.

"Doctor! How are you feeling?" she pressed her hand to his chest, checking his hearts. They had both started up again, and he seemed to be a bit less pale than he was a few hours previous.

"Not much better." He rasped, and just talking seemed to exhaust him.

"Do you want some water?" she asked. He nodded. He tried to sit up, but found it difficult. She helped him until he was leaning against her shoulder. He was heavier than he looked. She held a glass of cool water to his lips, and he drank. He had to take small sips, and she tilted the glass gently and slowly until it was gone. She placed it on the bedside table and helped him lay back down.

"Thank you, Rose." He said quietly. She stroked his cheek gently with her thumb. It was far too warm, and his skin was moist. He shivered and she felt it through the bed.

"I'm so sorry you have to go through this, Doctor." She said, hoping he would fall asleep soon. He didn't have to be as aware of his discomfort when he was asleep.

He gave her a weak smile. "It's worth it. After all, I am a bit foxy."

She laughed. Even in his condition, he could still joke. "Yes, you are. Please get better."

As he fell asleep, the fever clouded his eyes again. He shifted his head into her lap and muttered, "Yeah…then I can kiss you again. It'd be nice to do it when I'm not dying."

She froze, the word "What?!" right behind her lips. He was fast asleep in an instant, and his hand wrapped around hers. She felt a secret thrill up her spine. That had been a kiss! Genetic transfer, ha! The coward just didn't want her to know he was kissing her. Or he could be just a bit delirious from the fever…

She was feeling a bit strange, too. Sort of giddy. She had been feeling like that ever since the Doctor had passed his regeneration energy into her. It had been odd and (she couldn't help thinking) intimate to breathe his breath as he passed it into her lungs. She felt the tingle of energy as it touched her, and then it turned warm. It was a wonderful feeling, and if she hadn't been so worried for the Doctor she would have basked in it. He had assured her that, because she was human, his regeneration energy would only latch onto the DNA he transferred to her and dissipate. He was positive it wouldn't hurt her, so she wasn't too worried about the way she was feeling at the moment.

Between two lungs it was released

The breath that carried me

She was beginning to feel very tired. She hadn't slept the night before, as they had gone stargazing and then straight to the planet that had caused them so much trouble. She was worried for the Doctor, but couldn't help her body's craving for sleep. She fought it for a long time.

She didn't want to let this moment end, despite the fact that he was asleep and had no idea how he was cuddling up to her. His head was in her lap and his arms had wrapped themselves around her waist. She ran her hands through his hair and couldn't help but think that, if he weren't so sick, this would be a perfect moment. His occasional shivers and labored breathing ruined the brief fantasy, and she sighed. Her eyes were getting heavier and she wanted nothing more than to lie down beside him and sleep.

Just a quick nap, then. It couldn't hurt.

She carefully shifted him so that he was lying with his head on her favorite pillow. He shifted, inhaling deeply and making a troubled sound as she slipped his arms from around her. She pulled the blankets over herself, settling down with her head on the pillow next to him. She was nearly asleep when he whimpered again. She searched for his warm hand and he relaxed when her fingers tightened around his hand. He pulled her gently forward and soon she was wrapped tightly in his arms.

She sighed contentedly, loathe to sleep, and miss the unprecedented opportunity to snuggle so intimately with him. Her eyelids were heavy, however, and she snuggled closer into him and wrapped her arms around him in return. He released a happy sigh and buried his nose in her hair. She fell asleep to the beat of his hearts.

As they slept, golden mist would drift from his mouth. They lay so close to one another that the regeneration energy he released continued to drift over Rose's face. Her skin glowed with the power of time and the TARDIS hummed her lullaby, doing her best to feed one specific timeline. Rose shared his breath all night, and woke early in the morning to his shivers.

The sigh that blew me forward

Cause it was trapped

As she opened her eyes, Rose noted that the Doctor's eyes were still closed and he was shivering heavily. The next thing she noticed, however, was much more surprising. She could feel his shivering all over her body. She was pressed very intimately to him, his arms wrapped tightly around her. His breath (always fresh, thanks to his Time Lord physiology) wafted over her face and she could tell his breathing was labored and uneven. Shaking herself from the euphoria of waking up in his arms, she forced herself into the reality of the situation. His fever was worse and only one of his hearts was working. He needed water and a cold cloth for his forehead.

She gently extricated herself from his hold, wishing for all the world that she didn't have to. Her head was throbbing a bit and her heart was pounding really fast, but other than that she felt no after effects from his regeneration energy. Her head was much clearer now than it had been. That nap was just what she had needed. He moaned and she quickly went to the sink for a cool cloth.

Running the cloth under the tap, she noticed that her skin had a bit of an odd quality about it. It sort of shimmered in the light. She blinked and it was gone. She must have imagined it.

Another moan from the Doctor and she crossed the room quickly. She pressed the cloth to his forehead gently, wiping away the sweat on his brow and calming him somewhat. He breathed in deeply, his eyes moving under his eyelids. His lips parted and he exhaled more golden energy. It floated up and around her, warming her as his breath had. It was only the pained whimper that followed that kept her from closing her eyes and enjoying the feeling.

Trapped between two lungs

It was trapped between two lungs

She continued to mop his forehead with the cloth, running her fingers through his damp hair. He seemed to calm when she did it a few hours ago. His eyebrows relaxed, no longer frowning in his sleep.

After a few minutes, she checked his temperature again. It was finally beginning to fall. She put her head to his chest and was relieved to hear both hearts beating. He was getting better. When she rose from his chest, a pair of amused eyes met her.

"Not enough pillows on the bed, then? Needed to use me?"

She laughed and smacked him gently, relief flooding her. "Considering this is my bed, I reserve the right to do what I want."

He grinned at that. "Considering your bed is in my ship, I believe I reserve the right to do whatever I want."

She blushed under his intense gaze, and reached for the water on his bedside, holding it to his lips to drink. He was thirsty, but he could tell that she was only giving him a drink to stop him talking.

When he had finished drinking, Rose put the water back on her bedside table, next to her old framed photo of them before his regeneration. She was glad that she would not have to add another of him in this one. She liked him this way. She felt a physical twinge in her heart and winced. It was probably nothing. She was far too young for a heart attack, anyway.

It was trapped between two lungs

"You must be feeling better. You finally have the energy to tease me." Rose smiled.

He grinned back, and for the first time in what seemed like forever the light reached his eyes. "Much better. I just need a quick shower and we can be out on another adventure in a few hours!"

He hopped out of bed, wobbling slightly on his feet. Rose quickly helped him steady himself. "Shouldn't we take it easy for a bit, Doctor? You almost died."

He took a moment before answering, still trying to catch his breath. "Perhaps you're right. Maybe just a relaxing, peaceful, planet then? Somewhere with a little fresh air."

Rose nodded. There was no stopping him trying to go out, so she might as well settle on that compromise.

She led him into his own room, which was right across the hall from her own. She hoped he wouldn't say anything about the fact that she had chosen to take him to her room instead of his own. He seemed to gain strength as they walked, and his breath was less labored when they reached his door. He looked down at her with amused eyes.

"You going to help me dress, too?" he laughed. She blushed at that, cursing her human physiology as he only laughed harder.

"Just yell if you need anything. I'll just be...in my room." she said, turning from his amused eyes and hurrying into the safety of her bedroom. She heard his sigh and the snick of his door shutting behind him. She growled in frustration and threw herself onto her bed, where he had awoken just minutes before.

The sheets and blanket smelled of him, that spicy scent of time and tea that seemed to infuse the air around him. She was addicted to that scent, wanted to drown in it. She shoved her nose into the pillow and inhaled deeply, remembering how wonderful it felt to wake up with him holding her so close, even though he was sick. She wondered what it would be like to wake like that every morning, to be with him properly. Her heart skipped a beat and her chest constricted painfully for a moment, taking her breath away. Something odd was going on with her.

She rolled onto her back, the Doctor's scent still surrounding her as she closed her eyes and remembered the previous day.

It had been terrifying, the Doctor's skin glowed golden and hot as they ran back to the TARDIS. He was grunting in pain, sweat pouring from his forehead as he told her frantically that they had to get back to the TARDIS, they had to escape. He couldn't stop his regeneration if they didn't get there soon. She tried to hold his hand as they ran but it burned her from the heat of it, so she threw her arm around his back and held his warm waist as she helped him run. It was so hot, too hot, but he didn't have the strength to keep going on his own. She could see the light of time in his eyes as he struggled on and something in her very core shivered with fear.

When they had made it back to the ship, the console room had shifted into the medical bay. He threw himself onto the cot, talking to his ship in his own lilting and musical language. Rose couldn't understand what was being said but there was something about the tone of his voice and the pitch of the ship's normally calm hum that set her heart to a gallop.

"Doctor, what can I do? Let me help you!" she begged, holding his shaking arm. He looked at her and for a moment his eyes went completely golden, and he seemed not to recognize her. The warm brown soon returned and with it a look of pain that made her miss the cold golden color.

"Rose, there's nothing-ah..."he paused to pant for breath as he doubled over and held his stomach. "There's nothing you can do...I can't fight it...I'll have to regenerate..." he said with unbelievable sadness.

Tears started to fall from her eyes, and she blinked them away. "Nothing at all? I don't want you to go!"

The TARDIS gave a frantic hum and he looked up at the domed ceiling in surprise. "I can't...it won't work, she can't..."

The ship chimed insistently and she saw hope spring to his eyes. "Rose, maybe you can help but it's going to be a bit...invasive." He said before doubling over again, this time letting out a shout of anguish that made her cry out for him through her tears.

"Anything, Doctor! Let me help you!" She grabbed his hand, wincing through the pain of his burning skin on hers. He recovered and turned to her, releasing her hand and grabbing her by the shoulders for support.

"I'm going to give you my regeneration energy. A simple DNA transfer and then I'll let all the energy pass into you while using it to heal my wound. It won't hurt you, it'll just be a bit intense. You're human, it can't do anything to harm you." he said all this quickly, with shaking breath.

She wasn't sure about the plan, but if there was a chance it could save her Doctor she wasn't about to hesitate. "Do it, Doctor. Please. Don't leave me now." she said, brushing his burning face with her hand.

"Right. DNA transfer first. Easiest way...saliva."

She blinked in confusion as he moved his burning hands to her face and pulled her toward him, sealing his warm lips over hers. Her breath left her immediately and all thoughts left her mind. Her lips tingled but did not burn any longer, the hand on her cheek felt warm but wasn't blazing hot. She relaxed into him, almost forgetting what they were doing.

She felt an energy flow through her and it felt vaguely familiar. She could see timelines and visions of the vortex as his tingling breath flowed from his mouth into her gasping lungs. Everything grew warmer and brighter at once and she knew this was him sending his regeneration energy into her. She felt a gentle caress in her head and heard him gasp sharply. The caress stopped.

After a moment she felt him relax against her, his hand slipping back into her hair and his lips softening on hers. She wrapped her arms around him and shifted closer to him. His breath began to even out, his strength returning to him. He began to move his lips against hers and slowly slipped his tongue into her mouth. She began to respond with her own tongue, brushing it against his as she tried to take some control in this DNA transfer-turned-kiss. A sigh escaped him as she entered his warm mouth with her tongue, seeking out the taste of him at its source.

A few moments later, he pulled away and grinned. "Rose Tyler, how you always surprise me."

And then he passed out. She wheeled the cot into her room and put him in her own bed, wanting him close to her so she could care for him and knowing her sheets were softer. He was shaking and sweating, so she couldn't leave him in his suit. She pulled off his jacket and shoes, slipping him under the covers before removing his belt. Her hands were shaking as she removed his tie and unbuttoned his dress shirt. He had a jumper on underneath, and she sighed in both relief and frustration at the fact that she did not have the courage to remove that as well and leave him bare chested.

He had awoken several hours later and was able to give her a little bit of an explanation in between sips of water and golden breaths before he drifted off again, but not before remarking with a quirked brow on his lack of layers.

Rose groaned into her hands at that particular memory, hoping that he had forgotten about that. She didn't regret undressing him for his comfort, but she did wish she could have removed his clothing for other reasons. Memories of that steamy kiss had her feeling flushed and warm.

Her door opened and the Doctor, seeming more himself in his full pinstriped suit, burst in. It startled her, and she quickly sat up. She hoped he didn't notice she had once again buried her face in the pillow he had spent the last day laying on.

"Rose! Rosie Rose Rose! I'm thinking we should go to the garden planet of Valsadoon! They have lovely gardenias and, oh, did I mention a banana farm? It's brilliant! They have bananas of all different sizes, and colors even! Imagine, blue bananas! I- why are you lying down? Come along now, we've spent enough time all snuggled up in bed!"

She smiled at his rant, comforted that he was feeling better, but a blush stained her cheeks at his reference to their snuggling. "I was just stretching out my back. You're a bed hog, you know. I was cramped up all night!"

She hadn't been. She had felt quite comfortable all snuggled in his arms. But she wasn't about to tell him that. Her face felt hot and she prayed he wouldn't notice her blush.

"Rose, are you feeling alright? Your face is turning red. You're not sick, are you?" He got up very close to her face, examining her carefully. "Come on, let's go to the med bay. I want to make sure nothing happened with my regeneration energy. It is a dodgy process and I wasn't really in my right mind at the time-"

"No, Doctor, I'm fine." She interrupted him. She wasn't fine. Her heart was racing. But it would calm down soon enough. She just couldn't stop looking at his lips and thinking of them against hers. Yeah. That's all it was. "I'm just tired. I was worried about you." she said softly.

His lips quirked up in a smile at that and he held out his hand, wiggling his fingers. She took them and noted with relief that they were now back to his normal, cooler temperature. He didn't say anything for a moment, so she spoke.

"Just give me a minute to get changed. Garden planet, yeah? I should wear something other than my jim-jams." She grinned.

He gave her his best manic grin and released her hand. "I'll be in the console room when you're ready!" He closed the door.

She sighed and lay back on the bed. His scent again hit her nose, and she sat back up. "Oh, bugger." She said, frustrated. She headed to her bathroom to shower and change.

In the console room, the Doctor sat on the jump seat. The last day was very fuzzy for him, but there were certain memories he could not deny.

Undeniable memory number one: he had kissed Rose Tyler. Not just a simple DNA transfer (though that had been his initial intention), he had gone all out and kissed her, tasted her mouth with his tongue and tangled his hand in her hair. He had wanted to do it for ages and he supposed the chance that he was going to die had given him a push to go for it.

Undeniable memory number two: Rose Tyler had kissed him back. Not just a polite little press against his lips, but a passionate snog that, if he hadn't been terribly ill, would have probably ended in an equally passionate shag. He couldn't deny that he was in love with his beautiful pink and yellow human, and that he wanted nothing more than to make love to her, but he hadn't wanted their first real kiss to be because he was almost dying. He'd done the "dying" kiss before in his last regeneration and she didn't even remember it.

Undeniable memory number three: He had definitely not been a bed hog. He remembered her snuggling quite comfortably into his arms in the night, and they slept peacefully for several hours. If he was not a bed hog, then she was lying. If she was lying, then she wasn't tired and something was wrong with her. He could hear her heart racing from where he had been standing at the door. He needed to watch her carefully. Perhaps she was just embarrassed because he had pointed out that she had snuggled up to him in the night. He smiled at the memory of her in his arms. Though he had been riddled with fever at the time, he remembered quite clearly the calm that had settled over his perpetually troubled mind as his forehead rested against hers.

This led him to undeniable memory number four: Rose Tyler was telepathic. During their kiss, his mind had instinctually reached for hers. He had expected a brick wall of nothingness that was usually the human mind to his senses, but instead he had found a door. It was wide open and through it he had seen the very essence of time and space and everything that Rose Tyler was. He had pulled back quickly, knowing she didn't know what she was showing him and not wanting to invade her most personal of places. There was one conclusion he had to draw from this observation however. Rose Tyler was no longer a human. She was something far more extraordinary.

How was he going to go about telling her all of this without her thinking he had taken advantage of her?

He heard her footsteps coming down the hall and stood, trying to forget the feel of her lips on his and how much he wanted to do it again. When she appeared, he ran to her and threw his arms around her. He had missed her in the twenty seven minutes she had taken to shower and dress.

She laughed and returned his hug, feeling all awkwardness from the night fade away in the comfort of his arms. She had been so afraid that he would die and she would have to get to know a stranger again. She would always love him, but she was so comfortable with this him.

"You ready to go?" he asked, grinning down at her. She smiled and nodded, taking his hand with hers and walking out into the fragrant fields of Valsadoon.

They spent the day walking slowly through the various gardens. They laughed and joked, celebrating the fact that they were still alive and he was still him. Every once in a while Rose felt a twinge in her heart or she felt a bit out of breath, but she thought nothing of it. His smile made her heart skip beats all the time.

It happened when she was chasing him down for stealing her shoes. She had been soaking her feet in the cool river next to a grove of purple bananas (which neither she nor the Doctor could quite get the courage up to eat) when he stole her shoes from her and ran away. She demanded he bring them back to her.

"You're going to have to catch me, then!" he shouted, laughing. She stood and began to chase him. She knew she wouldn't catch him for a while, he had an unbelievable lung capacity. She had never been able to keep up with him unless he slowed his pace for her. But something was different this time.

It was like she was flying after him, her breaths coming and going steadily as she gained on him in the large field of orange daisies he was running in. He turned to look over his shoulder and she saw the surprise on his face that she was gaining on him, and so he began to run faster.

She felt an easy speed come into her legs and she continued to gain on him, laughing all the way. She was young and free, and she and her Doctor could play this game forever. In that moment she felt as though they could never part.

And my running feet could fly

Each breath screaming

We are all too young to die

She tackled him to the ground, laughing at his surprised shout as he lay there underneath her. Her skin shimmered in the sunlight as she lay her head on his chest and giggled, her breathing not even fast. It was as if she hadn't been running after him for at least seven minutes.

Dread came over him. Something was very wrong. Rose's mind may be telepathic, but her body was human. There was no way she would be able to keep up with him before he was ready for her to catch him. But she had just run him down and caught up with him, with seemingly little effort.

Rose stopped laughing when she noticed that the Doctor wasn't laughing with her. He was looking at her with a terrified look in his eyes.

"What's wrong, Doctor?" she asked nervously, trying to find his hand with hers as she always did when she was uneasy.

He slipped his fingers between hers and pulled her up with him. "Let's go back to the TARDIS. I want to run some scans."

She frowned as he handed her shoes to her and waited for her to put them on before heading in the direction of the TARDIS. "What's wrong? What kind of scans?"

He stopped abruptly. "You're...different, Rose."

Her heart started to twinge as they walked quickly and she knew something was wrong. "What do you mean?"

He felt his cheeks grow warm. "You remember yesterday, when I...did that DNA transfer?" he asked.

She heaved a frustrated internal sigh. So he wasn't admitting to the kiss. "yeah?"

He felt relieved when the TARDIS came into view. "I wasn't in my right mind, you know."

The physical pain in her heart became emotional. He was about to tell her the kiss was a mistake. "Yeah, I know."

He turned to look at her. "I couldn't control my reactions, so I did something instinctual for a Time Lord...I sent my mind out to connect with yours."

Rose looked up at him, trying not to wince at the tightness in her chest. She remembered that brush against her mind during their kiss. "Yeah?"

"Well, normally humans don't respond at all to that. You lot are kind of like a big brick wall, no way into your mind or out unless you concentrate really hard. You're not supposed to be able to do the whole mind connection thing." he said, hesitantly.

She didn't think she could speak anymore, so she just nodded.

He continued. "You're different, Rose. Your mind replied. There was a door, and I...I looked in. I know I shouldn't have, and I didn't go all the way in, but I took a peek. I'm so, so sorry but you're not completely human and I want to see what's changed."

The pain she was feeling was unbearable and she finally gave in to it. She doubled over and let out a pained gasp, her lungs tightening and her heart pounding. She thought for a moment that she would throw up, but with her throat so tight she knew nothing would make it out. The Doctor fell to the ground with her.

"Rose? Rose! What's wrong, Rose?" the TARDIS was only fifty feet away, and he scooped her up and began to run to the ship. He was still weak from the regeneration sickness and his arms shook with her weight but he didn't drop her. "Rose, come on stay with me!"

She blinked away tears, seeing gold. "It hurts, Doctor. I don't know why!" and she passed out. The Doctor ran faster. "No, no no, Rose you can't leave me now!"

He reached the TARDIS doors and, sensing his distress, they flew open for him. He ran straight to the med bay and began hooking machines up to his now unconscious Rose.

It was then that he saw it. He was placing electrodes on her temple when she sighed in pain. Out of her mouth drifted golden energy.

His regeneration energy.

Guilt wracked him and tears began to form in his eyes, which he hastily blinked away. "Nonononono, Rose no! I did this to you! Oh, I'm so stupid! You're not human anymore and I gave you all of my energy, not even knowing what it was going to do!"

Between two lungs it was released

The breath that passed from you to me

That flew between us as we slept

It slipped from your mouth into mine it crept

He finished putting all of the machines on her and he began looking frantically to find out what was wrong with her. Her heart was racing, her breathing was slow and labored, and she looked pale. He ran his hands through his hair, crying out in anguish because his Rose was slipping away, it was his fault, and he had no idea how to fix it.

His hands tore through his hair as he looked at the monitors again, her vitals getting weaker by the second. There wasn't anything he could do about it, no time to run a diagnostic, and even if there were he didn't know the treatment for regeneration sickness in species that couldn't regenerate! It was all his fault. Rose was going to die all because he wanted to keep his current face.

"Oh, Rose, I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry. I don't know what to do." He rasped, his voice weak and gravelly. He wrapped his hand around hers, feeling how warm it was. She had a fever and her skin continued to shimmer like it had earlier in the sunlight.

"Rose, don't leave me. Please." He whispered to her. Her eyes were clenched shut tight, her breaths only coming two or three times a minute now. There were no drugs for this. She was healthy, young, and he had poisoned her with his Time Lord DNA and energy. He closed his eyes and looked for the mental door he had seen in her head. It was there, standing wide open and inside he could see Rose sitting in the middle of a large, empty room. He hesitated, but now was not the time to be waiting for permission.

He felt the golden energy from another breath waft over his face as he brought his forehead to hers. This may be his only chance to save her.

Between two lungs it was released

The breath that passed from you to me

That flew between us as we slept

It slipped from your mouth into mine it crept

He slipped carefully through the door and tried not to let himself enjoy the feeling of being in her head too much. He felt her presence strong around him, but was aware of the ever fading breaths in her chest and the more frantic beeping from the heart monitor.

"Rose?"

She looked over at him and stood, running into his arms. "What's happening, Doctor? What's going on?"

He took a deep breath, knowing his next words would make his precious pink and yellow human hate him. "Oh, Rose I'm sorry. It's my fault. There's not much time, and there's nothing I can do. It's my regeneration energy. You're no longer human and my regeneration energy is reacting with your body. It's killing you. You're dying and it's all my fault."

In true form, she continued to amaze him. She cupped his cheeks in her hands and looked him in the eye. He couldn't breathe with her intense gaze focused on him. "Doctor, It's not your fault. If I die, then I died to save you." She paused, seeming to contemplate something before looking back up at him. "I...I love you, Doctor. And I would give my life for the man I love many times. I will die for you gladly. Just, do one thing for me before I go?"

He couldn't see her anymore through his tears, could feel his physical body openly weeping for the girl dying in his arms. "Anything, Rose. Anything."

"Just kiss me one more time?"

He looked down into her eyes for the last time, nodding gently. He could see that she was afraid. He wanted nothing more than to find some way to save her. She was brilliant, and he wasn't going to live long without her. He could already feel the grieving in his hearts, knew he would probably regenerate anyway from the pain of losing her. So he did the only thing he could, he leaned down and brought his lips to brush hers.

As they met gently and parted, a tentative brush of his lips against hers, he whispered softly "Rose Tyler, I love you." and brought his lips down on hers in the most passionate kiss he had ever experienced in all his lives. He was shaking as he wrapped his arms around her, tasted the salt of her tears on his lips and felt her weak heartbeat against his hands as his physical body kissed her too. When he broke the kiss he was sobbing openly, and her face was wet with tears.

Her hand brushed his cheek. "Don't let this ruin you, Doctor. Don't die because I die. Go and live for me. Save some planets, do what you do, find another love, but please don't let my end be yours too." He saw grief in her eyes and knew it was not for herself. It was for him.

He would do as she asked, then. He would save people for her. He would be the man she made him, and not the man she found. But there was one thing he could never do. He could never love another the way he loved her.

"I promise, Rose. I promise. I..."

And suddenly he was kicked out of her mind. The warmth in his head that was her presence once again became a gaping chasm of cold loneliness. He was paralyzed by the pain he felt at the separation. It was only the continuous beep in his ears that broke him of his stupor.

Rose's heart had stopped.

An inhuman sound of anguish was ripped from his throat as he stood and frantically began CPR, desperately hoping he could save her. Her skin still shimmered but her breaths weren't coming anymore, her mind was a stone wall, and he couldn't connect with her.

He tried for nearly an hour, her body cooling under his frantic hands and tears falling unchecked down his face. He begged her, screamed for her, and she still lay dead on the table. He loved her. And he had killed her.

Grief tore through him like a hurricane. He pulled her to him, sobbing into her neck and begging her to come back to him, his pain more palpable than any other he had ever felt. How could he have been sleeping with her in his arms this morning and now grieving over her only hours later?

His sobs stilled as the emptiness began to take him. It was only then that he noticed something. Where his nose was buried in her neck, he could feel gentle puffs of air against his ear. Her chest, pressed against his, was rising and falling.

She was alive?!

He stepped back from her, looking at the monitors. Sure enough, her heart wasn't beating. So how was she breathing?

"Rose?" he whispered as he cupped her cheek. He was afraid to believe, to hope that she was coming back to him.

Her chest heaved and out of her mouth came more golden regeneration energy. It floated around them in a cloud and settled on her skin.

Cause it was trapped

Trapped between two lungs

It was trapped between two lungs

The glow on her skin continued to pulse and shine, and he began to feel the heat radiating off of her. He couldn't believe his eyes. He reached to take her hand, but it burned his skin. Without warning, her body burst into golden flames, the heat pushing him backwards. He watched, hypnotized by the sight, and paralyzed by hope.

The flames receded, and she was still laying there. Her breathing was strong, her eyes moving behind her eyelids. The electrodes for the monitors had been burned off in the fire, and he lay his head on her chest. A heartbeat. Two heartbeats in tandem.

Rose had regenerated. She had saved his life, died for him, and now she had regenerated. He cried out in relief, crawling up on to the cot with her and pulling her into his arms, relishing in the feel of her hearts against his hands and her breaths on his neck. The empty place in his mind was filled with a golden glow, the quiet whisper of another Time Lord consciousness.

His Rose was alive, and she wouldn't be leaving him anytime soon. He felt their timelines tangle together and could see them stretching far, far into the future. He was soon lulled to sleep by her comforting presence where, for so long, there had been nothing but emptiness.

No more the days of begging the days of theft

No more gasping for a breath

Rose awoke feeling warm. Very warm. Her mind was clear, clearer than she had ever felt it. It was as though she hadn't been using all of it for her whole life and she'd suddenly discovered how vast it could be. She tried to remember how she had gotten here, but all she could remember was light and singing...

The Doctor!

Where was he?

It was then that she realized she was being held. She inhaled deeply, instantly assaulted by a variety of smells. She was soothed, however, when she realized the person holding her was very much the Doctor himself. He was asleep, the gentle puffs of his breath in her hair making her smile. That kiss in her mind...oh what would it be like to kiss him for real?

She shifted her head out from under his chin to look up at his face. Oh, but he was a handsome man. His hair was disheveled, his lips upturned in a gentle smile, the stubble on his chin giving him that look of manly ruggedness. She could feel a warmth in her head and knew instinctually that it was him. Something was different about her, she knew that much.

The tear tracks on his face made her stop in her thoughts. Oh, he had wept for her. She had felt some of his grief when he had been in her head, but it hadn't been anywhere near the grief she had felt in leaving him behind. She hadn't known the extent to which he was hurting.

And...oh, was that memory right? He had finally told her...he said he loved her.

A grin spread over her face. Her daft alien man loved her! She couldn't help what she did next. She brought her hand up to run through his hair, smiling still at the way he nuzzled into her touch and made a satisfied sort of sigh. She brought her lips up to meet his in a gentle kiss, feeling him slowly wake. He pulled her closer in his arms, and she let her hand weave tighter into his hair. Her mouth opened under his as he woke fully, letting him explore her mouth with his tongue and shivering at the whimpering moan he released into her mouth. It was a few minutes before he released her. She smiled up at him, basking in his loving gaze.

"Hello." she said softly.

He laughed, his eyes crinkling in that smile she adored. "Hello, Rose."

She brought her lips up to brush his again, snuggling back into his arms. "Could get used to wakin' up like this." she said, breathing in his scent.

He began running his hands up and down her back. "Mm me too. I've decided that you can't have a room on the TARDIS anymore."

She looked up at him, slight fear in her eyes. He was quick to continue, before she could make any further assumptions. "Looks like you're just going to have to share my room."

She sighed in relief and smacked him on the shoulder. "Thought you were kicking me out for a minute."

He pressed a light kiss to her forehead. "No. You're not leaving me. I can't let you go."

She smiled at that. Her stomach began to growl, distracting them from their little cocoon of warmth. The Doctor stood and held his hand for her. "Been a while since you've eaten. Fancy some homemade chips?" She smiled and nodded, taking his hand and following him to the TARDIS kitchen.

He pulled out one of the stools at the counter and gestured for her to sit. She watched in silence as he went about making her favorite food. They needed to talk about what had just happened. She felt different, and she was pretty sure she had died for a while. She knew she had. She had felt herself slipping from her body, heard his cries, and felt the cradling embrace of the TARDIS as she frantically tried to return to her body, to her Time Lord.

A plate of hot chips was set in front of her, doused with vinegar. She looked at the Doctor and saw he hadn't made any for himself. He sat beside her, smiling back at her. It seemed he hadn't stopped smiling since she had awoken. She took a chip and held it to his lips.

"Rose, you eat. You've been through a lot today."

She frowned. "So have you. You only recovered from regeneration sickness this morning."

He shook his head. "Yes, but you just regenerated." He said it with such awe and wonder that she paused for a minute, putting the chip back on the plate.

"Is that what happened? I regenerated?" she asked.

He nodded, his eyes filling with sorrow again. "Yeah. You...you were dead. For about an hour. Then you started breathing again and you just...you regenerated."

She took a moment to take in that new information. "So...do I look any different?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No. The same gorgeous Rose as before."

She blushed at his comment. She wasn't used to receiving such open compliments from him before. "And...do I have two hearts? Am I just like you?"

He nodded. "Yeah. You do. You have two hears, telepathic abilities, a time sense. You're a full Time Lord. Well, Time Lady."

She smiled. Hope filled her. If she was a Time Lady, then...maybe she wouldn't have to leave him behind? "So, my life span? Will I live as long as you?"

He grinned widely. "Oh, yes Rose. You can spend the rest of your life with me. And...you want to know the best part?"

She nodded, taking his hand.

He laughed, his eyes shining again. "I can spend the rest of my life with you. I can promise you myself, everything I have, until the day I die."

Rose thought her face might crack from her smile. "Well then, Doctor. You know I've already made my promise. The fact that my life is longer doesn't change that. I'm never gonna leave you."

He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. "Rose Tyler, I promise I will never leave you."

Rose pulled him up from his chair, leading him through the console room and outside into the field of flowers the TARDIS had landed on that morning. Her new time sense had been spot on. It was sunset. The golden hue of the sun fell over the trees silhouetting them against the bright sky. The flowers shone in the the dying light, the gold glistening off of their waxy petals. A flock of birds flew above them, feathers glinting in the sun.

"So, Doctor" she looked at him and looked back curiously. "How long are you gonna stay with me?"

He grinned, his eyes glistening again as he pulled her close to him. He whispered against her lips. "Forever."

His kiss filled her with love and happiness as his mind brushed hers. They kissed until the stars shone down on them and the twilight chill and Rose's still neglected stomach brought them out of their cocoon. They went back inside to eat dinner, after which he took her to see her mother.

Jackie accepted her new body easily, seeing from the looks in their eyes how happy they were. She wasn't going to hold them back anymore. She really wanted grandchildren.

The next morning the Doctor woke Rose early in the morning, telling her to dress in her favorite outfit, no matter what it was. She grumbled about being awoken so early but was easily convinced by a few gentle kisses.

She went to her closet and chose her favorite sundress, blue with a little sash at the waist. She wondered with excitement what the Doctor had in store for them that day.

After a long taxi ride (and a few not-so-gentle kisses) they arrived at a large field and Rose saw that there was a hot air balloon waiting for them. They went on a hot air balloon ride over London, and as they floated over the bridge, Big Ben and the London eye in sight, the Doctor got down on one knee in the basket.

"Doctor?" she questioned, knowing what he was doing but unable to believe it.

"Rose." He grinned and pulled a little box out of his pocket.

Oh, this wasn't happening. He wasn't being a complete romantic and proposing to her in the air above the place they had their first adventure. If this was happening, she was going to shag him right here in this basket, forget the fact that their first real kiss was yesterday.

"Doctor?" she repeated.

He opened the box and inside was a ring. It looked like a sapphire, but shone in a way that Rose knew was completely alien and very beautiful.

"Rose, you promised me forever and I promised you your lifetime. Now I can promise you more than I ever thought I could give you. Rose Tyler, I promise you my forever. Will you marry me? Be my wife, my bond mate, my everything? Will you be my forever?"

She had never thought she would be one of those women that cried when she was proposed to, but tears fell down her cheeks as she fell to her knees in front of the Doctor and captured his lips with hers.

The air has filled me head to toe

And I can see the ground far below

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her passionately, his mind brushing hers gently.

"So was that a yes?" he asked, after breaking the kiss reluctantly.

She nodded. "Of course it is, you idiot."

He pushed the ring onto her finger and they stood up, spending the rest of the ride in each others embrace, gazing out over the city.

They spent the rest of the day in London, doing silly things like they always did. They managed to find trouble for a few hours, and saved an alien that looked like a puppy from being bought by a terrible woman that smelled like beans and cheese. They returned to her mother's flat and shared the news of their engagement, which was met with enthusiastic approval and chatter about grandchildren. That night, the Doctor snuck out of the TARDIS to hold Rose in her bed as he had done the night before.

As they lay there, he felt her sigh deeply.

I have this breath and I hold it tight

And I keep it in my chest with all my might

"Something wrong, Rose?" he asked.

"No. Everything's fine, I was just...wondering something." she played with her ring and snuggled deeper into his chest.

"Out with it. We both know you're not going to let it go." he said teasingly.

"Well...mum said something about grandchildren. Now that I'm a Time Lady, you're not the last Time Lord anymore, right?" she asked, hoping this discussion wouldn't bring back any bad memories for him.

"No, I've got you." He smiled into her hair, still unable to believe his fortune.

"So, could we...have children?" she asked, pausing a moment before rambling on nervously. "I mean, not right away, but after a few years...if we have kids, maybe the Time Lords don't have to be gone forever. They can carry on the race, you can teach them everything you know and..."

The Doctor stopped her with a kiss. "Do you want children?" he asked her gently.

She paused for a moment. She'd never wanted to be a mother before, but now she realized that she wanted to be. She wanted to have the Doctor's children, to raise them, to watch them grow into little miniature versions of him and to have a family of her very own. The revelation surprised her, even though she had been the one to bring it up.

"Yeah. I think I do." she replied.

The Doctor smiled into her neck. "I'd love to have children with you."

He would never be alone again.

I pray to God this breath will last

As it pushes past my lips as I gasp

gasp

They slept that night in each other's arms, and every night after that. The Doctor was right, he was never alone again. Rose was happier than she had ever imagined.

Fifty years later, she told her oldest daughter the story of how she had been given forever in a golden breath. The Doctor watched from the doorway, a contented smile on his face and happiness in his hearts.

A/N: Well, what did you think? This chapter was a monster and I've been working on it FOREVER. I hope you all enjoyed it! I'm still working on the next chapter for Return to Memory and Carnival of Discovery, and I hope to get them up soon. I'm usually so tired from school and studying that I don't have a lot of time to write. Thank you for reading and reviews really do help me when I'm having trouble writing! Thank you for being so loyal, even when my updates aren't as frequent as I wish they could be!

With love,

doctorrosetyler