Hoshi: Okay, this one is…pervy.

Kage: We were actually reluctant to put the hardcore ones up on Fanfiction, but I figured, "Hell, we're old enough."

Hoshi: This one is graphic. Very graphic.

Kage: Indeed, so for your safety:

YAOI, LEMON, GREED / ENVY

Hoshi: We do not own FMA, otherwise Edward would have molested the brains out of Envy by now.

Kage: Not our first lemon, and definitely not our last.

Hoshi: We welcome reviews! So without further ado…

Both: ENJOY!

"F…Father, you have to be joking," Lust said voicelessly.

"No, I am not," Father said, glaring at her. "This plan is absolute. I will reap the benefits of my genius regardless of your opinions."

Lust, Envy, Greed and even Gluttony were just staring at Father in shock. How…how he had come up with such a disturbing and convoluted plan was beyond them. Envy raised a hand, eye twitching.

"So…I really have to…?" The words died on his tongue.

Father leered down at him. "You must understand the genius behind this plan. It occurred to me that I had created seven near immortal beings to be my children. In this, I have given life to dead flesh. But I began to worry…nothing lasts forever. My children would eventually die just the same as a normal human being. So," He raised a finger in very threatening logic. "I decided that my creations must breed. But which to choose? As an experiment, I needed to pick two that would create the most deadly combination. Two that, together, could spawn a child with endless and powerful ambition." He looked at Greed. "Greed, with the powerful 'Ultimate Shield' at his disposal, is already a fatal adversary. But his intense desire and…greed if you will…for everything in this world gives him the cunning and skill to obtain it. And Envy," Red eyes shifted to the teen. "With his incredible shape-shifting powers, is a master of stealth. And the unquenchable thirst for what others have…what others have gotten by such ease and that he can't even work for…is the drive. The motivation to improve, to steal." A grin spread across his face. "You two are exactly what I need."

"Sir, I can't breed with that snot-nosed brat!" Greed shouted. "He's a boy!"

Father smirked. "Your species is capable of same-sex breeding. Your genetic makeup is unstable enough for that."

Envy's face was the colour of glue. "B…but father!"

"You won't have a problem," Father said. He curled his finger, motioning for Greed to come over. Trembling, Greed walked up, leaning down by the older man's face. The man whispered something in his ear, making the hair all over the formers head stand up. The disgruntled man walked back down, trying hard not to look at Envy.

Lust was dumbfounded. "Wh…what did you tell him?"

"None of your business," Father snapped. "Now stand back. Give those two some room."

"Y-you want us to mate right here?" Envy exclaimed.

Father laughed maliciously. "How else will I know you've done it? I can't trust Lust or Gluttony to tell me something like that."

Lust proceeded to pout while Gluttony just sat on the floor, chewing on a socket wrench. Father's eyes were dark with anticipation.

"Begin."

Envy and Greed hesitantly shifted to the middle of the floor. The teen was biting his lip, trying to hide his embarrassment and disgust. Greed, on the other hand, just crossed his arms, looking away.

"I don't want to mate with this ugly thing. I'll just get warts," He drawled.

Despite his discomfort, the impact of this sentence was dramatic on Envy. His face fell, eyes widening into that rare, vulnerable look of hurt.

Greed's lip curled in a sneer. "Gonna fight me or what? You can just lie on your stomach now. It'll be easier to screw you when I don't have to see your face."

"Y…you want to fight?" Envy asked venomously, his head hung so his bangs covered his eyes. "I'll kill you." His eyes were wild as he stared Greed in the face. "I'll rip you apart!"

Something seemed to snap in Greed's body as he quickly grabbed Envy by the waist, holding his body against his own. "Oh God yes…"

The teen was too shocked to speak. He just blinked in terror and confusion at the man that was holding him so tightly.

"That hot look of anger," Greed purred, kissing along Envy's neck. "That desire to tear and kill…" He pushed Envy down onto the floor, pinning him. "You have no idea how bad that turns me on."

Lust and Gluttony blinked, jaws dropped. Envy was wearing a similar look.

"Wh-what the hell do you mean?" The teen roared. "I thought you thought I was ugly! What's with the sudden personality change?"

Greed was nibbling along the boy's jaw and neck, panting. "I wanted that look. When you're mad and want to murder me, it gets me so hot. You look like such a Sadist."

Envy gasped as Greed's hard erection was pushed between his legs. Obviously, the man wasn't lying.

"B…b-but!"

"Shh," Greed hissed, running his tongue along Envy's sensitive throat. "Let me handle this. It'll feel better that way."

It was all the teen could do not to punch the man in the face. However, a thought struck his mind. 'Father wants us to mate, doesn't he? If I disobey, he'll kill me.' The teen swallowed. 'As long as Greed is this wound up, we might as well get it over quick.'

Deciding to jab at Greed's libido, Envy let out a particularly pained whimper as the man sucked on the crook of his neck. Honestly, he was only half acting. The older man tensed up, eyes wide.

"G-god," He panted, tearing down the front of Envy's shirt. He kissed along the pale, toned flesh, leaving light red marks in his wake. The boy was fighting the temptation to squirm at the soft teasing. It was starting to get awfully warm in there.

Father's head was resting on his hand as he watched in amusement. Lust was trying not to drool and babble like a crazed teenage girl. She covered it up by yelling in Father's general direction.

"How can you just sit there and look entertained when two of your sons are engaging in foreplay right in front of you?" She exclaimed. "Doesn't this disturb you at all?"

The man chuckled. "They're doing what I've ordered. At least let them have fun experimenting."

Lust bit her lip at the sudden cry that came from behind her. She peered over her shoulder at her two "brothers". Envy's back was arched, and his teeth clenched. Greed was holding onto his back and hip, sucking lightly on his right nipple. His pointed teeth grazed the tender flesh, sending sparks through Envy's thin body. The woman squeezed her eyes shut, forcing the desperate, heated sounds out of her head.

"Ngh!" Envy whimpered, battling with his self-control. He refused to let himself fall to pieces by Greed's hand.

The bulge in the older man's jeans noticeably twitched. "I love those sounds. Keep it up, and there might be a surprise in it for you."

Envy forced his left eye halfway open. "What kind of fucking surprise?"

Greed wordlessly took his mouth away from the teen's chest and began kissing down his slim stomach. His teeth grazed the supple flesh just above the waistband of his kilt.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Envy asked, fear unhidden in his voice.

"Giving you that surprise," Greed sneered. He tugged the kilt down just enough to run his tongue along the base of Envy's growing erection. "But you're gonna have to earn it. The louder you scream, the harder I suck."

The teen's eyes got very wide, his face bright red. "Never!"

A sharp toothed grin appeared on Greed's face. "Have it your way."

Slowly, he pulled Envy's kilt down, panting on the exposed flesh. Envy's tensing at this did not go unnoticed. Greed's long tongue drifted down the teen's smooth thigh, curving up against his pelvis. He slid the point around all the subtle curves of the teen's lower body, moving just close enough that he wasn't touching his erection. He internally snickered at the way Envy was panting.

'It's so sexy when he fights like this,' He thought. 'This foreplay seems more fun than the real deal. But then again…' His mind drifted to his own throbbing erection. 'Maybe not.'

Envy clawed at the floor, desperately biting his lips shut. He wouldn't allow Greed to get a single sound out of him. But God, it was hard to fight! The older man was so skilled with his tongue. He knew just the right places to touch and stroke. Envy's stomach was already starting to get tight from just the teasing.

"Mmm, getting close already?" Greed snickered. "Weak little twerp. I'll bet you think this is sublime, don't you? Just a little closer to that hard organ of yours and you'll be in climax."

The teen was getting mad now. He swiveled his hip, trying to jam his thigh into the side of Greed's head. However, it was easily blocked. The man was laughing now, eyes narrowed in malicious amusement.

"You wanna fight?" He asked. "Fight this."

Envy had to bite into his fist to keep from moaning. Greed, without hesitating for a second, had completely covered him to the hilt. He immediately began to bob up and down, sliding his tongue along the sensitive flesh and grazing the shaft with his teeth. The teen couldn't take it anymore. Despite his hand being shoved into his mouth, he moaned loudly, eyes squeezing shut.

Greed felt a hard shiver go through his own body. He needed Envy to keep making those sounds. They were turning him on so bad. Without thinking, he began undoing the clasp on his jeans.

Envy didn't notice. He doubted that he would've noticed if a bomb went off. Regardless of the insult behind it, he had to agree with Greed. This was sublime. The hot, wet feeling of the man's mouth on such a sensitive area was immaculate. His stomach started to tighten as he felt his body begin to still.

"Ah, now you're close," Greed smirked, pulling his head away. He laughed at the desperate mewl that escaped Envy's lips, and even more at the shocked, angered face that followed. His jeans and underwear were now completely off. "Guess we'll have to get to the good part."

"What's the – gchk!"

Envy's eyes were wide, teeth clenched hard as he felt Greed enter him. It hurt, but God did it feel good. He felt a sudden, impulsive desperation. Oddly enough, he understood why. Greed needed to move.

"G…Greed," Envy whispered, barely realizing he did. He was in sort of a sitting position, his chin resting on Greed's shoulder. "Move."

The man didn't need to be told twice. He mercilessly pounded into the boy, moaning loudly. Blood started to drip from the teen's entrance.

"Oh…ohhh…" Envy purred, gripping Greed's shoulders. "Th…that's t-too hard."

"Shut up!" Greed bellowed, pushing him back onto the floor. He whimpered at Envy's tight, slick walls. His stomach was already clenching. Panting heavily, he began pumping the teen's erection.

Heated moans and whimpers escaped Envy, his pride totally forgotten. Pride wasn't worth it anymore. He just wanted to reach his climax. Suddenly, he felt Greed pound into a particularly sensitive spot.

"Th-there! Right there!" He cried, stomach tightening.

At that point, Greed lost it. He came inside of Envy, moaning loudly. The teen came not long after, but screaming instead. He fell back onto the floor, panting. Greed clumsily pulled out of him and lay next to him. He blinked at Envy, watching his eyes flutter open. Wordlessly, he wrapped his arms around the boy and held him close, breathing into his hair. Envy didn't protest.

"Very good," Father said, scratching his chin. "You two go off and sleep. I'll run some tests on Envy when he wakes up."

Greed nodded. He helped the teen to his feet and walked to his own bedroom. The two of them flopped on the bed and curled up under the covers, falling asleep almost instantly.

Lust blinked, her nose bleeding profusely. Father chuckled.

"What did you think of the show?"

The woman blinked up at him, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape.

"You have the weirdest plans."

Kage: Yes.

Hoshi: Not our favourite FMA pairing, but we like this one too.

Kage: So please, we enjoy reviews, even if you just say, "I read it and declare this a fic."

Hoshi: You can even copy and paste that if you want to.

Kage: So here, for your leisure, is a pre-written review for you. Please feel free to use this instead of wracking your fragile little brains for a real response. Because you know, creativity is so overrated.

"I read it and declare this a fic."