Draco is grieving over the loss of his wife. Hermione might just be the only one that can save him. Will he let her into his heart, or will he be taken over the heartache?

Author's Note: I actually dreamt this one night and thought that it might make a good fic. It's different than what I normally write but I thought I might give it a try. I know I said I wasn't going to write anything else while working on my other fic, but this idea just wouldn't leave me alone. I guess I'll be working on both now!

Disclaimer: All this wonderfulness belongs to the fantastic J.K. Rowling…well, except the plot.

Letting It All Go

Chapter One: Ain't No Sunshine

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"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.
It's not warm when she's away.
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And she's always gone too long anytime she goes away" -Bill Withers

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Hermione sighed. She could finally go home. She rolled her shoulders trying to loosen up a bit. She had been working in the hospital for over twenty four hours now. Some Healer had called off sick and she had ended up pulling a double, only catching a few hours sleep in the on call room here and there. She walked down the hall past her rooms full of now comfortable patients. Her relief was due any minute and she could absolutely not wait to get the hell out of here for a while. The beeping of the monitors and the sound of wheels from hospital beds squeaking down the hall were definitely on her nerves.

Speaking of her nerves; they were shot. There had been not one, not two, but three massive magic incidents in the past twenty four hours causing St. Mungo's to be more hectic than usual. Hermione reached the nurses' station, smiled at the head nurse who handed her some papers to sign, and ran a hand through her hair. It quickly got tangled in her obviously frazzled hair. She sighed once again and put down her quill. She quickly pulled her hair back and resumed signing her forms. She handed them back to the nurse who filed them quickly. Hermione put her charts away in the correct bins and waved goodbye to the nurse.

She briskly walked down the hall to the locker room. Upon entering she was glad to see that it was empty. She was so exhausted she had no desire to try and come up with some small talk with her fellow Healers. Not that she didn't like them, she did…but after such a long shift she wanted nothing more than to go home. When she turned the corner to her locker she was surprised to see a note taped on the outside. It read:

Hermione,

Thank you for pulling a double. Please take the next four days off as repayment. We are over staffed the next few days, and you deserve the small break. Have a relaxing time off!

Chief Healer,

Devon

Hermione rolled her eyes. She knew exactly why she received the extra days off…it was because if she didn't get enough sleep she would be a liability. Oh, and she was one of the highest paid Healers at the hospital. She frowned…she did need the times off though. She was beyond tired and it had been over a week since she'd spent time with the kids.

She opened her locker so she could change, crumbling the note in her hand as she did so. She tossed the note into a garbage can at the bottom and began changing. She removed her white lab coat and hung it on the hook as she slipped off her non slip white shoes. She pulled her top off, and dropped her pants, and then threw the scrubs into the hamper for cleaning. She quickly pulled on her favorite jeans, which were quickly followed by her faded, gray Hogwarts sweatshirt. She swapped her work shoes for some flip flops.

Grabbing her purse from the top shelf she decided to take a look in the mirror; she looked awful. Her eyes were tired looking and slightly bloodshot. She had bags under eyes and she could use some sun. Her hair was far from manageable at this point, so it would just have to stay in the messy bun she had put it in minutes ago. She shut the locker in disgust.

She rummaged through her purse looking for her cell phone. She and Harry had made all their friends and family get one in order the stay in touch. It was a lot easier than trying to floo all the time. She quickly found Ron's number and hit send. She wanted to see if she could pick up Rose and Hugo tomorrow so they could spend the night. She pinched the bridge of her nose as the phone went to voicemail. Ron never answered her calls; he always let her leave a message first.

"Ron, it's me. I've got an extra couple of days off, so I was wondering if I could pick up the kids tomorrow to spend a few nights. I had to pull a double so I'm just leaving the hospital now. Please give me a call back to let me know. Talk to you soon."

She turned the volume up and shoved the phone back into her purse. She and Ron had been divorced for nearly four years now. They had gotten divorced the year Hugo had gone to Hogwarts. They had both been unhappy for a while, but had wanted to wait to separate until both kids were in school. They didn't want them to be home during the divorce process. Surprisingly, both their friends and the kids had been accepting of the separation.

Currently, Rose and Hugo had a few weeks left before heading back to school on September first so Hermione thought it would be a great occasion to spend time together. The children lived with Ron most of the time because of her crazy schedule, and Hermione lived in a flat in Diagon Alley. They had bedrooms at her place. The kids typically spent a good deal of time at her flat during their holidays, but they also split their time with Ron. He probably had the children more than she did, but only because she worked so much.

Maybe she could even help them buy their school supplies. That was an idea. They could spend the time shopping in Diagon Alley and catching up. Rose would be going into her seventh year, and Hugo his fifth. Hermione furrowed her brow, where had the time gone? Rose had received her letter just last week informing her that she was to be Head Girl, and Hugo had made Prefect. Hermione smiled. She and Ron had done such a good job with the two of them, even with the divorce.

Hermione shouldered her purse as she left the locker room and headed down the hall smiling at patients and nurses as she went. She reached the nurse's station, "Alright, Abigail, I'm out of here. See you in a few days." Abigail, the head nurse, smiled cheerfully, "Sounds great! Go get some sleep! You deserve it!" Hermione gave a little wave. You have no idea…

She continued down the hall. She could see the evaluator. All she had to do was get on and ride down to the first floor where she could floo home to her apartment. She'd be home in five minutes. And even better, a woman had just hit the button. The elevator would arrive just as she reached it.

The waiting room area was just a few paces from the nurses' station, but on the opposite side. Hermione glanced into it as she began to walk by. At first it appeared empty, which was a great sign, but then she saw him. He was sitting in the far corner. Hermione stopped walking, her heart dropping into the pit of her stomach.

Oh no…not again. He's here again.

In the corner sat Draco Malfoy. He was leaning forward, elbows on his knees, and his face was in his hands. It had been over a month since he had been here last. Hermione distantly heard the elevator beep with arrival, the scurry of people hustling on and off, and the beep signaling it was leaving. Draco looked much thinner than the last time she had seen him…and paler too. He had always been a light skinned fellow, but this was different; unhealthy. He wore a simple black button up top and a faded pair of jeans; both were much baggier than they should have been.

Hermione took a deep breath and turned back around. She marched over to Abigail, "How long has he been there this time?" She motioned with her hand to the waiting room. Abigail looked confused at first, but realization finally hit her; eyes going wide.

"He's still there?" She shook her head, "I thought he had left last night. He wasn't there for a long while, and we've been so busy I guess I didn't notice he came back." Abigail looked upset at her carelessness. But their floor had been busy. Hermione couldn't be angry with her.

"It's fine. We should probably call for a Psyche Healer to come and get him again." Abigail nodded and picked up the receiver. Hermione turned her attention back to the blond haired fellow, her brows coming together. Why had he come back again after being away from the hospital for so long? It just didn't make sense. He had been doing so well…or so they all had thought.

Nearly eight months ago Draco had watched his wife pass away, right in front of his eyes, here in this hospital. It had been a terribly sad thing to watch. He had clearly loved his wife with all of his heart. For weeks after her death they would find him sitting the waiting room either crying or simply staring into space. It was ok at first, he was grieving, but then it began to become a problem. Day after day he would be here. They had started calling Psyche for him. It had worked, or so they had thought. Now here he was, back again.

"Ernie will be right down…"Abigail's voice stopped Hermione's train of thought. She nodded and began walking towards Draco. He didn't sense her approach so she kept moving forward. She sat in a chair near his. She knew he felt her presence now. His shoulders had tensed.

She cleared her throat, "Malfoy, what are you doing back here?" She was trying to speak as gently as possible. She didn't want him to be any more upset than he, clearly, already was. He picked his face up out of his hands, "Granger, it hurts. I came to be near her."

Hermione frowned and placed her hand on his knee, "They've called Psyche again. You shouldn't be here. It's not healthy." He took his hands and ran them over his face then through his hair, shaking his head. "I can't go back up there. Not this time. Not ever again. It doesn't help…only makes it worse."

She nodded in understanding. She got up and went back to the nurse's station. Just as she got there Ernie Macmillan, Head of Psyche, was walking down the hall. They smiled sadly at one another. "Where is he? The usual seat?" Abigail leaned over the desk, "Yeah, in the corner." Ernie headed over. In a second he had bolted back, "He's not there…"

"Shit!" Hermione flung her purse behind the counter and raced towards the waiting room. Sure enough it was once again empty. She turned around and ran back towards Abigail. She looked startled. Ernie had gone down the hall to check the room Astoria had passed away in. He came back shaking his head. Where the hell had he gone that fast? In realization Hermione's eyes went wide. She pivoted and ran for the stair case. She bounded up the stairs until she reached the roof. She was panting from the exertion as she flung the door open.

There he was, just like she had found him many times before. This time was different though, he wasn't sitting against the wall by the door. She wanted to sigh in relief when she finally spotted him, but instead she inhaled sharply. Draco was standing with his back facing her staring straight down at the Muggle road below. Hermione could hear the traffic. She swallowed hard, "Malfoy?" She tried again when she received no answer, taking a few steps forward, "Draco…what are you doing up here?" She was still trying to catch her breath.

"Saying goodbye."

No. No. No. No. No! This was not happening. Not under her watch! Hermione walked towards him even more. "Draco, you can't jump down there. You'll never survive." She was close enough now to see that tears were streaming down his face. His eyes looked raw. Her heart broke just by the sight of him.

He smiled sadly at the traffic below, "I can't do this anymore, Granger. Every day…every damn day I wake up without her and every damn day I hate myself. She was my sunshine…she kept me going. She saved me from myself. She changed who I was. I became a real person because of her, and now she's just gone…just like that. She's gone because of who I used to be. Even torching the Manor proved fruitless…I still feel the pain from her being gone."

Hermione bit her lip. She didn't quite know what to say. Where the hell was Ernie? Why hadn't he followed up here? She was slightly out of her element. Suicide was not something she had ever dealt with before. And Draco had gone through such a horrible loss no wonder he felt he couldn't take it.

Ernie had told her what had happened. Draco's wife, Astoria Greengrass, had loved being a Slytherin, but she hated that the Malfoy Manor was done in nothing but Slytherin colors and décor. So after months of begging Draco finally allowed his wife to redecorate. Why did he care anyway? His parents had moved to their chateau in France after the war and had no plans of coming back. The Manor could surely use a pick me up, and Astoria was perfect for the job.

The remodeling started last year after the happy couple had dropped Scorpius off at the train station. Astoria had worked hard over the next few months completely changing the color scheme of each room to satisfy her. Draco didn't have much input, he simply was happy that his wife found so much joy in making their home beautiful. When Scorpius had come home for the holidays he was thrilled at the changes. They had the happiest holidays they'd had in years. The Manor no longer looked depressing and, well, evil.

The day he returned to Hogwarts was when it happened. Draco and Astoria had returned home. It was a bitter cold day and all Draco wanted to do was sit in his study with a warm cup of tea and read a book in front of the fire. Astoria had kissed the top of his head and left him to relax. She wanted to work on the upstairs now. As she left the room Draco kissed her hand and she gave him a simple smile.

All was quiet in the Manor for a while. Draco had just gotten a fresh cup of tea and settled back in his favorite chair when he heard it. There was a deafening blast, a shatter of glass, and a blood curdling scream that could only belong to his beloved. He bolted from the room; his tea cup clattering to the floor, and his book nearly flying into the fire. He ran down the hall, up the grand staircase, and into the first room on the left: his father's old study.

His heart was beating wildly. There was a black fog in the room that quickly cleared with a wave of his wand. On the floor was Astoria. She was clutching her chest. She had small cuts all over her arms. She had obviously covered her face because there was nothing there. She was bleeding severely from her chest and abdomen. Draco fell to his knees next to her, "Astoria…what happened?"

She was having a hard time staying conscious, "Draco, I tried opening that cabinet and it exploded. I protected my face, but it shot glass at me. It was cursed!" Draco felt nauseous. He should never have let her try and come into this room on her own. His father had let the Dark Lord use it. Of course the entire thing was probably cursed!

Draco knew he had to act fast. He picked his wife up and apparated them to St. Mungo's. Within moments Astoria was in one of the emergency rooms. Hermione Granger was demanding he tell her exactly what happened. As he retold the story to her he never took his eyes off of his wife. She had finally gone unconscious and looked dreadfully pale against the white sheets…never a good thing.

This part Hermione knew on her own. She had tried everything to stop the bleeding, but after she would close the wounds they would reopen. After a closer examination of the cuts she found tiny moon shaped pieces of glass in each wound. She would have to get Astoria to an ER and FAST! After hours of surgery all the glass was removed from her body. Astoria was not out of the clear just yet. She would have to be watched closely. You never knew the after effects of a Dark spell until days later.

As the days crept by, Astoria seemed to be on the mend. Scorpius and Draco came to see her every day. Hermione was going to send her home at the end of the week if all was well. When she had arrived Friday morning she decided to check on her patient first thing. She smiled as she entered the room. She was just about to say good morning when a horrible sight met her eyes. She chocked on her words and ran to the bed.

Astoria was a pale green and she was barely breathing. Hermione had no idea what had happened. She was fine the day before! She had Abigail notify Draco and tried to do everything she could. Nothing was working. No healing spells seemed to stop the decrease of health. Astoria couldn't even talk! The only thing that made sense as the reason to what was happening was that the little shards of glass had somehow been coated in an undetectable and slow acting poison. Not knowing about it before, there was nothing she could do. Astoria was going to die.

Hermione allowed Draco and Scorpius to sit with her until the end. Draco had screamed in agony when she passed away and poor Scorpius held onto his mother's hand and cried silently. She felt such sorrow for the pair. She wished there had been something more she could have done. Even after his death, Voldemort was still ruining lives.

Now, as Hermione stood on the roof of St. Mungo's she knew she had to stop Draco from leaving this world. "Draco, you have Scorpius. If you leave him, he'll be alone! Where is he? I can call him here."

Draco, never taking his eyes from the road below, replied, "He's with my parents in France." Hermione's mind was reeling. What the hell was she going to do? Suddenly it occurred to her. He felt this was his fault. He thought the whole damn thing was his fault. He was blaming himself! "Draco, this isn't your fault. There was nothing any of us could do. Believe me, if there had been a way, I would have saved her. None of us could have known about that poison…only the person who created the curse on that cabinet did."

"Granger, I have done so many horrible things to people in my life…I can't do it anymore. I mean, just think of all the things I've done to you…I'm nothing but a waste. I can't live with this guilt anymore." He looked back at the road. Hermione's heart was beating so loud she was surprised he couldn't hear it.

She swallowed hard, "Draco, look, I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago for everything that happened. We're adults now; there is no need to dwell on happenings from so long ago." She reached out to him. He allowed her to put her hand on his shoulder. She squeezed gently, "Come away from there. You have so much to live for; your son, parents, and friends."

He looked her in the eye. She felt that she might have gotten through to him. He looked at her hand and placed his own overtop of it. He had turned away from the edge of the roof. She sighed, hoping it had worked, "You forgave me?" He inquired with a tilt of his head. She nodded, "Of course." Please let this have worked…

"Scorpius." It was just the name, but she knew he wanted to live for him and that made her extremely happy. They weren't out of the woods yet. Draco needed somewhere safe to stay; someplace where he could be watched. She knew Draco had nowhere to go because he had previously torched the Malfoy Manor in hopes of destroying everything evil. He would refuse to stay in the Psyche ward…

It's the only option…

"Come stay with me for a while. I know you have no place to stay right now…come stay at my flat. I have plenty of room." He was thinking hard, she could tell. He never took his eyes off of hers. He finally nodded. "Excellent. We can get you set up today. Let's go." She gave him a gentle push towards the stairs.

When they were back at the nurse's station Ernie and Abigail looked relieved. Hermione grabbed her purse while quickly explaining the situation. She had asked Draco to wait by the elevator. She just wanted to get home. It had been an unbelievably tiring day and it was only seven in the morning. She and Draco took the elevator to the floo room. Hermione could only think one thing…

What the hell am I getting myself into?

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*Ok that's it, the first chapter. Please tell me what you think! I now allow anonymous reviews…but if you want to give me criticism, make sure it is constructive! I will update my other fic soon!*

Julie