the Beginning(Prologue)

Lily Evans was walking down the street of Spinner's End to talk toa friend she hadrefused to seesince he had gotten the dark mark. She was aware that in a few days she was to be married to James Potter but, she didn't love him like she loved Severus. When she got to the door, she knocked and wasso relieved to see him that she knocked him over as she embraced him.

"Lily?" he said as he got up off the floor and gave her a hand so they could embrace properly.

"Sev, I've missed you so much, and I wanted to see you again so badly!" Severus gave Lily a look that she knew meant 'What about Potter?' and dismissively added "James is off with Remus and Sirius until tomorrow." She gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked into his house.

"Why can't you see that you're not happy with them?" Severus said desperately, "You don't want to marry him, Lily, I know you don't! You've been here barely a minute, and I know already!" Lily just looked at him sadly. "Please, Lily, don't do this! If not for me, then do it for yourself!"

"Severus, I have to! The wedding is so close, if I backed out now, it would be embarrassing for both of us, and it would break his heart." She insisted.

"Lily, I know you. I know that's not what's stopping you." Severus said pleading and sadness clear in his eyes and posture. He wanted the truth. About why she refused to back out of the wedding, yes, but more about why she wanted to in the first place.

"Well, there's all the money we put into to wedding. It wasn't cheap, and we still have to pay, now, even if I do call it off. So that's a waste of nearly 5000 galleons." She said uncertainly. She really didn't care about the money, and she knew that Severus would know that. "I just... don't think I love him likeI used to." She admitted, staring at her shoes.

"You don't have to throw away the whole wedding, Lils." He told her, putting an arm around her waist and lifting her chin so he could look her directly in the eyes, "Just the man." He said it in a way that left no question as to who he was hoping she would marry instead.

"Severus, you know as well as I - probably more than I - how dangerous that would be for us. And I couldn't do that to James. I may not love him, but I do care for him, Severus." She told him, removing his hands from her body. She walks quickly to sit on the sofa near the fireplace. Severus followed, taking a seat next to her, just far enough away that they did not touch.

"I know I've never said it, Lily," Severus said hesitantly, fiddling with a loose thread in his robes,staring at his lap, and feeling very much like a young boy, "But I love you." He didn't look up, afraid to see his once best friend's reaction. He wanted so badly to keep talking. To tell her everything about her that he loved - how she bit her bottom lip when she was thinking, or nervous. How she played with the cord when she was on the phone, or how her eyes shone like real, polished emeralds when she laughed. All the little things he had missed so dearly in the years passed.

"I know." Lily replied in a whisper. Severus' head snapped up, to see she had also been staring at her lap. "I've known for years." She whispered, her voice cracking as a tear slid down her cheek.

"Then why..." Severus found he was unable to finish his question. Even with looking at him, Lily knew what he wanted to say.

"I wanted to." She said, looking up. "I loved you, Severus. I still do." There was a short silence. "I wanted to tell you in our last year. I came back from Christmas holiday, and I was going to tell you, but... I saw your arm, and the mark, and I remembered 5th year, again, after the exams. And I couldn't. It was too dangerous, and too bloody painful."

Severus said nothing but decided to stare at a wall that was dotted with green and black. After a few minutes, he got up and went into the kitchen to prepare some sandwiches while Lily sat and waited for him to say something. When he came back, she munched on a sandwich when he finally broke the long silence and said.

"I guess it was too much to ask for, seeing as you and that bloody Potter were practically inseparable after school was out."

"I know, Sev." Lily said sadly, "But it's your own fault. You were the one who called me a 'mud-blood', you were the one who joined He Who Must Not Be Named, and you, Severus, were the one hanging around with those evil, sadistic criminals." Lily said sharply. "And James, Remus and Sirius were there to comfort me when so few others were.

"Your right Lily and I am truly sorry for all of it, especially for whatI called you. There's not been a second since I said it that I haven't felt remorse. After...You wouldn't talk to me... You wouldn't even look at me... I had nothing left. No real happiness, no will to do anything. I just did what I was told, unthinking, unfeeling. You were my everything, and I threw it away. Let it slip between my fingers, because I was stupid enough to let those two terrible, evil words slip through my lips." he said sadly, desperately andsincerely while counting in his mind to calm himself.

Lilywas breath-taken and deeply touched by the honesty and sincerityin Severus' words and she kissed him, and before they knew it, they were up the next morning getting their clothes back on.

"Lily, I'm so sorry about not stopping this! You are going to be in so much trouble and what if the dark lord had one of his followers come to see me?" Severus said panicking and trying to figure out what had just happened.

"It is fine Severus, I have no regrets whatsoever about this whole thing, and no one has to know. Even if they did, who cares? That doesn't mean going around telling people, mind you." She said cheerfully.

"Surely you wanted to wait until you were married and enjoy it with Potter?" Severus said frowning, and at the same time holding back a smile.

Before she could say anything, there was a knock on the door and a voice called out "Severus, it's Lucius and I need to talk to you right away!"

"Quick Lily, follow me! There's a secret passage. The tunnel will take you to the playground we used to play at. Yes, I know I never told you because I never felt you had to know and now's not really a good time." Severus said as they ran down the stairs and rushed towards a big old grandfather clock. He muttereda fewincantations and the clock opened up into a tunnel.

"Take care of yourself Severus!" She said as she kissed him again.

"Will I ever see you again?" Severus said sadly.

"I don't think so." She said sadly, "James and I must go into hiding, and we've arranged it all with Dumbledore and Sirius. Sirius will be our secret keeper, Sev, no one else will know where to find us. I can't come back here."

"I'll miss you." Severus said, arranging his face in a cold, emotionless mask. Lily knew the mask was designed for Severus' safety, and the safety of those he loved, but it still hurt to look at it.

After the war, if we're still alive, Severus..." Lily said slowly, lookingher secret loverdirectly in the eye, "I'll come back. I'll leave James, and we can be together. I promise." She said certainly, a look of determination in her features that Severus could not help but smile at.

"Severus, I know you're in there!" Lucius called from the front door, "Come now, or I shall come in myself! I do not wish to be so rude, Severus!" He yelled irritably.

"Go now!" Severus rushed, "Quickly!"

"I love you." Lily said passionately, caressing Severus' cheek before turningto run through the tunnel. she stopped as Severus closed the passageway leaving Lily to find her way in utter darkness. She could hear, if she listened, the sounds of Severus allowing Lucius into his home, and Lucius explaining how Bellatrix, her husband and brother-in-law, and 'Barty' (whoever that was) had been caught torturing some 'Blood-traitors' into insanity. She stood as Severus asked coldly who the 'scum' were, but shecouldn't move fast enough in the darkness to escape the answer to Severus' question: The Longbottoms.

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