A/N: First of all, allow me to say….. I'M SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO UPDATE! D:

Ahem… So yeah I haven't updated in how many weeks? I am dreadfully sorry for being so negligent! I've been rather distracted over the last month or so. By many things including personal/family issues but mostly school. School. Homework. School. School. Homework. SCHOOL! Bleaugh. But now we have gotten past first term progress reports/teacher interviews and I'm on a Easter holiday break for the rest of the week! Woo! So I found the motivation to drag myself out of bed and do some long overdue writing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits basket. Anyone who hasn't realised this by now is a silly creature.

Warnings: Boy on boy (aka Yaoi) and mentions of past child abuse, very mild and infrequent bad language.

**Chapter Eleven**

Less than an hour after his dramatic collapse, Yuki was deep in slumber under the covers in his bed with a very anxious and watchful Haru perched on the end of the mattress, ready and waiting for him to wake up.

The older boy had not regained consciousness once, not even when Hatori arrived to pick him up (on Shigure's request) and Haru had argued with the doctor about allowing him to accompany the sick boy back to the dog's house. The ox had won the argument eventually but he suspected that was because Hatori had been worried that Black Haru would show himself.

So now Haru watched Yuki intently as he slept. He noticed the way the rat was snuggled deep into the various blankets as though he had made himself a nest out of the sheets and duvets. He always used to sleep like this when he was cold or sick…

He also noticed that Yuki's smooth pale skin was even whiter than usual, with a flushed but slowly fading rosy red colour painted on his cheeks; cheeks which were framed by sweaty pieces of his usually soft and wispy hair. Twitching eyelids that hid the most beautiful violet orbs Haru had ever known suggested that the rat was dreaming. Even in sickness he was still the most gorgeous creature on Earth in the eyes of the boy with the black and white hair.

Of course Yuki was never flawless in every sense of the word, no one in the world was, but he was perfect to Haru. The ox felt extreme jealousy towards whoever could call this portrayal of perfection theirs to love.

Haru wished that for just a single moment he could simply pretend that Yuki was his and his only, and that he loved him in return.

And then he had an idea. Well, why not? He thought to himself. Shigure and Hatori were busy conversing downstairs, Kyo and Tohru were still at school and Yuki was hardly aware of what was going on around him. Besides, surely the older boy would appreciate the extra heat…

Before he even had the chance to reconsider or think of the possible consequences, Haru slipped off his shoes, lifted up the covers on Yuki's bed and climbed in next to his sleeping angel, lying on his side with Yuki's back facing him. There was barely more than four inches between the two boys, they were so close that he could smell the natural, sweet scent that he associated with the rat.

So close…

Several minutes passed and Haru just lay there, staring at the back of Yuki's head, thinking about all of the situations where he'd been so hopeful for some kind of affection from the rat. And he began wondering if he dared to get any closer, if it was worth risking waking the other boy…

The decision was made for Haru though when Yuki suddenly rolled over sluggishly in his sleep so that he was facing the younger teen. And then he shuffled up closer, then closer still… until his whole body was practically pressed against the ox, with his hands placed upon Haru's chest and his head resting under his chin.

All the while Haru stayed perfectly still and held his breath in a state of shock and wonder, waiting for Yuki to wake up, realise what was happening and move away from him. To show revulsion or disgust, maybe even a flash of annoyance, anger or hatred. Perhaps he would accuse the ox of taking advantage of him in a weakened state? But when all that came from the sleeping teen was a very content sigh, Haru was able to breathe again.

And then he realised how fantastic this situation was. Carefully, so as not to wake Yuki, Haru gently wrapped his own arm around the older boy's sleeping form. He held his breath again when Yuki fidgeted, but was soon put at ease when the rat only snuggled into him further.

If that was at all possible; to get any closer to each other the pair would have had to physically melt into one another. The ox tried desperately not to dwell upon the rather… inappropriate imaginings that suggestive thought provoked in him. He knew from experience that lust was another way to bring Black Haru out and that would be most inconvenient for him, especially now of all times. No doubt his Black side would take advantage of the sleeping rat, and the ox did not want to put any more strain on their already somewhat tentative relationship.

Haru was totally amazed that Yuki was actually sleeping in his arms; it seemed to good to be true, and too unlikely as well. But maybe the rat was dreaming of sleeping in the arms of the person he loved, maybe he was mistaking Haru for that person. Or perhaps it was more likely that in his unconscious state he had just been seeking something, but what? Warmth? A pillow? Haru…?

Eventually the ox told his mind to just shut the hell up and let him enjoy this rare moment while it lasted, to not question why it was happening and just accept that it was. Because it would probably never happen again.

And he did enjoy it. For a while he was able to just pretend that Yuki was finally his, and he forgot about everything that was wrong in his life, because none of that mattered if he had his first love.

His first love… his Yuki… Haru knew the rat would sometimes claim that he wasn't a very nice person, that he was selfish or unkind; but he was wrong. Yuki had to be the kindest person Haru had ever known.

He remembered when he was very young, years before he met Yuki in the window, even then the rat had shown him kindness when all Haru gave him in return was misguided hatred and rage; something he still wished he could take back, he felt so guilty when he thought of the way he used to loathe the rat and make no effort to hide it.

Haru could never even dream of doing something like that to Yuki now. He loved him far too much. Loved, not hated. He hadn't felt resentment towards Yuki for years, not since that day at the window.

He sometimes wondered if his past malevolence towards the older boy had caused some of the emotional damage he knew Yuki still suffered from. But he didn't like to think about it too much, it just made him feel too awful…

Haru looked down at the sleeping boy in his arms, he honestly wished he could take back everything he had done to Yuki as a child. As well as the words he had yelled at him only days earlier. He wanted nothing more than to protect Yuki from pain. As long as his beloved was happy, he could be content.

But for the moment, he wanted to continue pretending that the rat truly was his love.

Rather awkwardly, he shifted his other arm out from underneath his body and reached up to stroke a few wisps of Yuki's hair away from his eyes, which exposed part of his forehead.

The ox was so caught up in his fantasy of the rat being his one and only that he automatically followed his urge to put his lips against the now revealed patch of pale skin in front of him; he leaned down, closed his eyes… and pressed a kiss to the smooth skin on Yuki's forehead.

With his eyes still closed, Haru moved back just enough to give his mouth room to speak and in a hushed tone he said to the slumbering rat, "I'm sorry Yuki…" though it wasn't nearly enough in his eyes, the ox was apologising for every cruel word he had ever spoken in regards to the rat.

Haru sighed and moved back into his previous position, opening his eyes as he did so. For a split second he didn't notice anything different about Yuki, and then he realised. Then he saw a familiar set of violet eyes staring back at him, only half open but definitely conscious. Yuki was awake.

It's rather strange the way time appears to come to a standstill when something happens that shocks you. And what seems like minutes is actually mere seconds.

But Haru was convinced that for at least three minutes he just froze right there in Yuki's bed and stared at him in what must have been a very dumbfounded manner.

And Yuki looked right back at him, blinking slowly and sleepily every so often. Though it seemed too much to ask, Haru knew the rat was very slow when it came to waking up and he mentally crossed his fingers in the hope that Yuki wouldn't notice him lying there and that he would just go back to sleep if the ox stayed perfectly still and remained completely silent.

But of course, things seldom go how we want them to.

Yuki leaned back a few inches and squinted, as though he couldn't believe what he was seeing. No doubt his sleepy mind was having trouble understanding his current situation. The last thing he would remember before losing consciousness was probably collapsing on the oval at school. Suddenly waking up at home with your bipolar cousin in your bed would undoubtedly be too much to comprehend for someone who was still half asleep and drowsy from an asthma attack.

"Ha… Haru…?" the rat finally slurred.

Haru panicked.

As soon as Yuki spoke and confirmed that he was indeed awake and aware of his presence, the ox whipped his arm away from him and jumped up, attempting to escape the bed as quickly as possible.

He tried in vain to untangle himself from the sheets which had somehow wound themselves around his limbs and were preventing him from getting out of Yuki's bed as he rambled, "I'm so sorry Yuki! I shouldn't have… I'm sorry for waking you, I'll go right now…"

"Wait…" came Yuki's tired voice. A soft, pale hand snaked its way out from under the sheets and latched onto Haru's wrist in a loose grip, "Stay. You're warm…"

The ox stopped and gaped at the rat, Yuki was staring back at him wearily but somewhat expectedly with his eyes half lidded. Was he being serious? He couldn't be, surely not! For a moment Haru suspected that the older teen was still mistaking him for someone else…

But then Yuki spoke again, "Haru please," he whined sluggishly, "I'm cold…"

Well, Haru was not one to deny someone a service he could provide easily. And besides, what was a little body heat between friends? Cousins even, if you wanted to think of it like that, although Haru usually preferred not to. But at least, he assumed they were still friends…

Haru pushed those thoughts aside. They didn't matter right now. What mattered was that Yuki was still sick and he was asking Haru to stay with him and help him to… keep his body temperature up.

So the ox obliged. He gave up with his battle against the sheets and slipped back in between them. And he couldn't help but smile a little when Yuki repeated the adorable process of snuggling into him.

"Thanks," the rat sighed, placing his head back under the younger teen's chin.

He had no idea.

In his oblivious, half asleep state Yuki was totally unaware of the feelings he was stirring up inside Haru; which was a good thing. The ox imagined that the rat wouldn't be quite so at ease with pressing himself up against his body if he only knew half of the things Haru thought. The thoughts that involved Yuki in particular...

As he had done earlier, Haru forced all such thoughts as far back as he could manage. He would not allow Black Haru to consume him and take advantage of his current position. It was tricky though, Yuki was certainly not helping by acting so… so… so perfectly alright with it all!

It might have been easier for Haru to remember the fact that Yuki did not return his feelings and that he wouldn't appreciate it if he was kissed by the ox if the rat had just been a bit more tense or ill at ease.

But he wasn't! Snuggled against Haru, he quite literally felt calm and relaxed. Comfortable.

The poor ox had to remind himself every few seconds that Yuki was only doing this because he was sick, cold and half asleep. Sick, cold and half asleep. Sick, cold and half asleep. He repeated it in his head over and over as though it was some kind of mantra.

For a moment or two everything was so silent. Haru didn't dare move or make a sound except to breathe and Yuki was so still and quiet he assumed he had fallen asleep again.

However he was proven wrong when Yuki spoke again, "Relax Haru," he sighed blearily, "You're not so comfy when you're tense…" he still sounded half asleep and rather groggy and Haru had to wonder how long it would be before he woke up properly and realised what he was doing…

Nevertheless, the rat had made another request and the ox felt obligated to fulfill it.

"Sorry," he said as he eradicated all the tension from his body.

"Told you before," Yuki grunted against Haru's chest, "Don't apologise,"

He told me before…? Haru wondered. He must have been referring to that afternoon; the day after Haru's outburst at the Secret Base; he still felt awful for that. From what he could remember, it was the first time in years that he had gone Black because of Yuki and actually been angry with him. And the rat had refused to allow him to apologise…

"But I am sorry Yuki. About the other night-"

"No," the rat interrupted him in a tired yet surprisingly stolid voice, "Shouldn't be. I'm the sorry one,"

"You're not making any sense, Yuki. What do you have to be sorry for…?" Haru inquired, although he wasn't sure whether or not to expect a helpful answer. Often the rat was just completely incoherent for a reasonable period of time after being woken up and he seemed to be in that kind of state now.

"I'm," pause for several coughs, "I was awful to you… Forgive me…?"

"Yuki, you've got it all wrong. I'm the one who's supposed to be-"

"Forgive me or not?" the rat seemed to be certain that he was supposed to be the one apologising. Although no matter how odd it was, Haru decided to take it as a sign that Yuki had already forgiven him. And he hoped he was right.

"Alright then," he said, "I forgive you, Yuki,"

"Just friends then?" he mumbled, the rat's sleepy voice was being muffled into Haru's shirt.

In fact the ox could feel Yuki's breath on his skin through the thin fabric of his school shirt. It was terribly distracting but he made himself pay attention and reply, "What do you mean just friends? We're best friends aren't we?" he reassured him, "What else would we be?"

"Right…" it wasn't really an answer to his question, but Haru thought the rat sounded like he might fall back asleep soon so he didn't press for any further explanation.

For several more moments Yuki and Haru just lay there together, silent and unmoving.

The rat's mind was so hazy from sickness and sleep that he was perfectly comfortable with snuggling up to Haru. After all, he was cold. It was just a simple exchange of body heat of course.

The ox, however, was thinking a thousand different thoughts all at once. He wondered about many things. And not all of them were directly linked to each other. A lot of them were things that he normally thought about; Yuki's proximity to him, the soft feel of his purple-gray hair, the smooth surface of his pale skin, the rosiness of his flushed cheeks and the way his eyelashes brushed against them. Just the usual stuff.

But Haru also thought about all of the recent events. He still did not know who Yuki's supposed love interest was. Although he was hanging on to the vain hope that Yuki would lose interest in them very quickly. But he hastily shut himself up about that because it was the sort of thinking that would surely trigger his Black state; thoughts of jealousy and resentment.

He also wondered if Yuki was going to continue the odd action of avoiding him.

Haru hoped not. He still wasn't entirely sure of Yuki's reasons for doing that but the ox wasn't going to try and question his actions again. He was just going to remain neutral about the whole situation; by which he meant Yuki.

He decided that perhaps he should lay off his affectionate behaviour towards the violet eyed boy. It was probably making the rat uncomfortable because he harbored feelings for someone else.

Haru could understand that.

He himself was the same; for example, sitting as close as possible to Momiji or Kyo and slinging his arm around their shoulder or holding onto the edge of their shirt as they walked down the corridor would just feel bizarre and uncomfortable to him and it would be the same feeling if either one of them did those things in return. Because he wasn't in love with either of them, it didn't feel right.

It felt right to do those things with Yuki, but the rat must dislike them because he wasn't in love with Haru. The ox concluded that that must be the reason for his distancing himself from Haru. And he preferred it to his other theory of Yuki disowning him out of shame.

Yes, he preferred it a great deal.

Eventually Yuki had been so still and quiet that Haru was certain he had fallen asleep. Gently, he untangled himself from the sheets and pulled away from the rat; who proved he was asleep by lazily reaching out with his eyes tightly shut and grabbing a pillow to cuddle once Haru was almost off the bed.

The ox had been very comfortable holding Yuki while he slept. But that was just it, he was too comfortable. And he couldn't allow himself to slip up again and do something idiotic like kiss him, it would be especially bad if he went for the lips the second time… He doubted even a half asleep Yuki Sohma could miss something like that.

And there was no way he could risk damaging their friendship like that. As it was they were only just getting past a sort of falling out, they certainly didn't need another.

But before he left the room, Haru made sure to cover Yuki with the blankets snugly. It was sort of humourous; tucking Yuki in like he was just a child again. And when the ox stood back to watch the sleeping beauty for just a few more moments, he couldn't help but think that he looked a little bit like a child too; tucked into bed, cuddling a pillow like some kind of teddy bear.

And he looked adorable

If it had been anyone other than Yuki, Haru would've said it was impossible for someone to achieve such a precious look so effortlessly, but the older boy looked gorgeous all the time anyway.

After gently stroking Yuki's face just once (he was simply too cute to resist!), Haru quietly left the room, making sure to shut the door behind him carefully. Although he left the room with the intention of finding some kind of distraction he ended up lingering outside in the hallway for 10 minutes at the very least; it occurred to him the minute he shut the door behind him that he was totally paranoid about Yuki having some sort of relapse while he wasn't in the room with him. In fact, he had to gently open the door and take a quick look in about four times over that 10 minute period before he was able to convince himself that Yuki was fine.

But now what?

He couldn't go back into Yuki's room and just watch him sleep, no, he didn't trust himself with that. More specifically he didn't trust his other self.

The only other people in the house were Shigure and Hatori, neither of whom he particularly wanted to have a conversation with. And Kyo and Tohru wouldn't be back for at least another half hour or so.

Eventually he ended up aimlessly wandering down the stairs. And he noticed that the house didn't look like it had sustained any new damage from one of Yuki and Kyo's fights. So they hadn't been fighting too much recently? Were they starting to get along, even if only slightly? Although if they were, it was probably just for Tohru's sake; the girl did tend to fret whenever they fought with one another.

Either way, it was good if they were fighting less. At least Shigure wouldn't have to worry about the frequent destruction of his poor house so much.

Once he reached the bottom of the stairs Haru suddenly remembered his bike; he still hadn't taken it back home. Now with an objective of sorts, to locate his bicycle, the ox headed towards the front door.

As he walked past the kitchen, Haru heard Shigure and Hatori talking; he wasn't sure what the two adults were talking about, not that he particularly wanted to know, but he heard snippets of what sounded like Shigure trying to convince Hatori that he was being serious about something. No easy task…

The family doctor spotted Haru as he walked past the kitchen entrance, "Hatsuharu," he said, "How is Yuki?"

"He's fine," the ox stopped to reply to him, "He's asleep for now,"

"Good," the doctor nodded his head in approval.

And then Shigure piped up, "So, tell me Haru," he smiled, "Did you ever find out anything more about Yuki's romance issues?"

"No, Sensei," was his only reply.

Haru didn't really want to talk about Yuki's love life, ever. Unless of course that conversation included him in a certain context; but that was irrelevant because the chances of it ever happening were next to nothing.

So he left Hatori to deal with the ever humourous dog and went outside to find his bicycle.

He didn't have to look far; it was propped up against the building practically right next to the front door. Haru must've walked straight past it when he came in earlier, but he hadn't really been paying attention to the scenery then, more so the unconscious boy in his arms.

Well, now he was done collecting his inventory, what else could he do?

Just under half an hour until the others finished school and an unknown period of time until Yuki was awake again, especially now that he would be able to sleep without Haru disturbing him…

He thought for a moment and then, on a whim, decided to go and visit the Secret Base.

The ox quickly went inside and asked the other Sohmas to keep an eye on Yuki for him and told them that he would be back soon. And then off he went on his bike, pedaling his way to the Secret Base. It hurt his sore leg a bit but so did walking, so really it didn't make too much of a difference.

Fortunately he was able to remember how to get there again. But once he did arrive there was one thing he noticed immediately.

Half the strawberries were dead.

And he already knew the cause: himself. He recognised the patch of the garden where he had kicked at it in his unjust fury, the strawberry plants that he had hit were all sprawled out across the ground and/or shredded. Either way they were dead.

But why hadn't Yuki gotten rid of them? Or better yet, why hadn't he saved them when he still had the chance? Well that was his fault again, wasn't it? Because in a roundabout way he had caused the rat to fall ill and be forced to stay inside for the weekend.

Haru felt a renewed spark of guilt ignite within him.

But he tried not to dwell upon it. He had already decided he was going to just try to make up for his mistakes and put it all in the past.

So he got to work on fixing up the garden as best he knew how.

Haru wasn't really much of a gardener, that had always been Yuki's passion, but he was not totally without skill. He busied himself by gathering up all the lifeless strawberry plants and throwing them away into a nearby bush. Then he got to work on gathering all the soil back to its original place and carefully uncovering some of the living plants.

Once he was finished with his task, Yuki's garden looked almost exactly the same, only with less strawberry plants. But there was nothing he could do about that, not yet anyway.

Haru figured he had spent at least 20 minutes or so attempting to fix the Secret Base, which meant that Kyo and Tohru would be finishing school any minute now and soon they would be on their way back. So the ox hastily rode back to Shigure's. He couldn't help but to start feeling paranoid about Yuki again when he realised how long he'd been.

When he arrived at the Sohma house, Haru propped his bike on the building and rushed into the house and up the stairs to check on his sick Yuki.

Of course he was careful again to not make too much noise as he opened the door to the rat's room, but as it turned out, that wasn't necessary.

Because there, sitting up in his bed looking wide awake and alert, was Yuki.

Staring right at Haru.

A/N: Dun dun duuuun! This time Yuki really is awake!

Hpmh, this chapter is rather long and kinda meh. But oh well, it's better than nothing I suppose and there's not much I can do about the poor quality. Specially since it's *looks at clock* 2:35AM and I'm half asleep myself. I apologise in advance for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes that I missed. Hopefully there'll be another update in the next week or so but unfortunately based on the recent unpredictability of my life I can make no promises….. -.-'

Tuliharja: Thanks for reviewing again! Haha yeah well Hana does tend to be a bit mysterious and all that! And obviously she's also very perceptive (but how could she not be with her awesome psychic powers!). Yes Yuki was a silly boy! But he didn't want the others to worry (that certainly backfired on him!) and Kyo wanted him to compete etc etc. Kyo didn't notice Yuki was in trouble during the race; he was too focused on winning! He only noticed after the race when he turned around to boast. He won't be counting that as a proper win though, because as you said he wants to beat Yuki in a fair match. But I apologise if you thought he was OOC.

Pheonix09: Aha, yes it was kinda predictable wasn't it? XD Thanks!

mousecat: Thanks! No that one kind word was enough to encourage me to write more! ^.^

mistic fox: Thank you so much! Aw really? *hands you a tissue* just in case XD

Wolfys4ever: Thanks! Well then I hope your brain enjoyed this! Haha! Oh yes, the Prince can be naughty when he wants….. lol!

Also, thank you to all the people who have added this story to their story alert and/or their favourites!

Reviews are love. For every review I get, the likelihood that there will be another update soon is higher!

Thank you for reading! ^.^