Holy crap this is a long one. My bad. So yeah .. text messages. Aren't they fun?
To: Naruto
From: Ino
AY, BLONDIE.
YOOHOO.
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T: Ino
F: Naruto
OI, YOU TALKING TO YOURSELF?
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T: Naruto
F: Ino
NO DUMBASS.
Light your pitchforks, we're going Uchiha killing, dammit.
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T: Ino
F: Naruto
Why would we kill Itachi?
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T: Naruto
F: Ino
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I MEAN SASUKE! He made Sakura ...
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SIGN UP FOR EHARMONY!
EHARMONY!
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T: Ino
F: Naruto
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO SMACK ME YEESH.
AND WTF?
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T: Naruto
F: Ino
He told her she was annoying again, and she started crying, and went on eHarmony and totally signed up!
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T: Ino
F: Naruto
TEME.
I'm getting a hall pass. Sasuke has Chemistry this period. I'm gonna get him to be romantic with Sakura-chan!
BELIEVE IT!
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T: Naruto
F: Ino
Alright here's the plan ..
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thirty minutes later
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T: Naruto
F: Sasuke
Dobe, get your fucking ass over here. When I get untied I'm going to KILL you.
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T: Sasuke
F: Naruto
Oh hell no. YOU NEED TO ASK SAKURA-CHAN OUT. When you agree I will. For now, I'm sending in a surprise, until you crack.
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T: Naruto
F: Sasuke
Dobe...
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T: Karin
F: Naruto
Ay, whore, do me a favor. Your beloved (soon to be not yours) Sasuke-kun is in a closet. Down the hall, second floor. Go attempt to rape him for me? I'll give you an even better Uchiha.
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ITACHI.
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T: Naruto
F: Karin
OMG! REALLY? EEK! Fine. But he better be hotter than Sasuke-kun.
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AND WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN NOT MINE FOR LONG?
YOU BITCH.
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T: Karin
F: Naruto
I MEAN that Sakura-chan is about to own Sasuke, as soon as you start to rape him. Watch. I'll forward you his SOS message.
AND HIS OBITUARY. EWH. I HOPE HE DOESN'T DIE.
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And yes, Itachi is sexier.
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NOT THAT I WOULD KNOW.
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seven minutes later
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T: Naruto
F: Sasuke
Fine, dobe, you win. I almost caught AIDS from Karin.
Thanks. I swear to God if she gave me AIDS and I couldn't make little babies with Sakura I would hunt you down and CASTRATE YOU.
..
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YOU DID NOT SEE THAT PART ABOUT SAKURA.
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Shit.
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T: Sasuke
F: Naruto
Haha, you stupid teme. NOW GO TALK TO SAKURA-CHAN.
AND YOU WANNA MAKE BABIES WITH HER? BUAHAHAHAHA.
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T: Naruto
F: Sasuke
I am going to kill you.
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Hn.
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T: Sasuke
F: Naruto
WHY'D YOU PUNCH ME? SHEESH.
GO TEXT SAKURA BEFORE I LODGE A SECOND POLE UP YOUR ASS
(Did the doctor every manage to surgically remove the first one?)
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T: Naruto
F: Sasuke
The doctor said it has been lodged in there too long to be removed.
I MEAN WHAT?
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Hn, piss off, dobe.
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T: Sakura
F: Sasuke
Oi, Sakura. Go on your Webcam tonight at eight, okay?
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T: Sasuke
F: Sakura
The hell? Why?
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WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH SASUKE-KUN!
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T: Sakura
F: Sasuke
Its Sasuke, woman. Just do it.
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T: Sasuke
F: Sakura
YOU ASS.
And whatever.
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T: Sakura
F: Ino
WHY DID YOU SIGN UP FOR EHARMONY, FOREHEAD?
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T: Ino
F: Sakura
YOU KNOW WHY.
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Stop staring at Naruto. I know what you two have been doing in the janitors closet.
I CAN TELL.
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T: Sakura
F: Ino
WE SHOULD MAKE HIM JEALOUS. I'm gonna text Kiba and ask him to fake pretend to flirt with you through text so you can act all giggly and shit. AND BLUSH. LIKE CRAP.
..
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HOW THE CRAP DO YOU KNOW? I SWEAR I TOLD HIM NOT TO TELL ANYONE.
..Don't be a bitch.
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T: Ino
F: Sakura
WAIT INO, SASU-
HEY! I AM NOT A BITCH! AND I AM SO TELLING.
FYI: I KNOW BECUASE YOU EMERGED FROM THERE WITH YOUR CHEST PRACTICLY HANGING OUT YOUR SHIRT AND NARUTO HAD LIPSTICK ON HIS PANTS.
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PANTS!
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T: Kiba
F: Ino
DOG BOY. $20 BUCKS TO FLIRT WITH SAKURA THROUGH TEXT TO MAKE SOMEONE JEALOUS.
AND A FREE TICK BATH.
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T: Ino
F: Kiba
Deal. Only for the money. Whats her number?
HEY! I DO NOT HAVE FLEAS! DAMN YOU.
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T: Kiba
F: Ino
555-1234.
THEN WHY DID YOU JUST SCRATCH YOUR HEAD WITH YOUR FOOT.
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T: Ino
F: Kiba
If I didn't need that money, I would so get Akamaru to PEE on you.
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T: 555-1234
F: Kiba
Hey, Sexy. I heard you were single, and wanted to know what your wearing right now. Because whatever it is, it always makes you look fucking hot. Your best feature is your ass. We should go make out. Janitors Closet at Lunch?
Kiba. xx
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T: Kiba
F: 555-1234
Kiba. What the fuck. I am not gay you stupid asshole.
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T: 555-1234
F: Kiba
..Sakura?
..
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WAIT.
WHO THE HELL IS THIS.
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T: Kiba
F: 555-1234
Sasuke you shit head.
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T: Sasuke
F: Kiba
HOLY SHIT.
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DUDE I AM NOT GAY AND I DID NOT MEAN TO SEND THAT TO YOU I SWEAR TO GOD. INO GAVE ME THIS NUMBER AND SAID IT WAS SAKURA'S.
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EWH, I WANNA BARF. CAN I BORROW YOUR BACKPACK?
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T: Kiba
F: Sasuke
Her number is 555-1235. And why the hell are you flirting with her.
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She's taken. Hn.
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Don't touch my bag. Plus, Karin's is closer. And the vomit will make it look better. Get some in her hair too.
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T: Sasuke
F: Kiba
WHY ARE YOU SMIRKING? DID YOU RAPE HER?
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Will do. The color will bring out her ugly hair. Well atleast I still have twenty bucks.
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the next day
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T: Sasuke
F: Sakura
Sakura, I can explain about last night.
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T: Sasuke
F: Sakura
DON'T TALK TO ME.
YOU UCHIHA'S ARE ALL PERVERTS.
But I still love your mom.
PISS OFF.
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T: Sakura
F: Sasuke
I swear to God, I did tell Itachi I was going to use the webcam. I'm sorry.
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T: Sasuke
F:Sakura
ARE YOU SERIOUS? THATS ALL YOU CAN SAY? "I'M SORRY?"
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I LOGGED ONTO MY WEBCAM AND SAW YOUR BROTHER MASTERBATING AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS YOUR SORRY.
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UGH. I NEED TO GO TAKE THIS SHIT OUT ON KARIN.
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T: Sakura
F: Sasuke
Fine. Wait be careful with her hair, Kiba kinda puked on her, she looks a bit better, actually.
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EW WHAT AM I SAYING.
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Will you go out with me tonight? That fancy resturant by the movie theatre?
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I swear I didn't even know Itachi had a penis. I thought he was a girl. You know, underneath that weird robe and purple nails.
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T: Sasuke
F: Sakura
Maybe. But first I have to go SHOVE SOAP IN MY EARS AND MY EYES.
HE HAD THE SOUND ON TOO.
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EWH. TMI. OH GOD. THE IMAGE IS COMING BACK TO ME.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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T: Sakura
F: Sasuke
Sakura.
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T: Sakura
F: Sasuke
Sakura. Dammit.
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T: Sakura
F: Sasuke
Oi, woman.
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T: Sakura
F: Sasuke
Hey.
Hn.
Annoying.
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T: Ino
F: Sakura
OMFG. INO. I NEED MEMORIES, THOUGHTS, PICTURES, ANYTHING.
HELPPPPP.
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And Sasuke-kun asked me out. :)
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NOW DAMMIT HELP A BITCH OUT.
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T: Sakura
F: Ino
WHAT HAPPENED?
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Just imaging kissing Sasuke. I'm sure its bound to happen tonight.
WINK WINK.
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T: Ino
F: Sakura
Ohh. Nice image.
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LETS JUST SAY I SAW ITACHI ON A WEBCAM DOING SOMETHING GROSS LAST NIGHT. UNINTENTIONALLY.
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SHIT. I HAVE TO GO GET READY. TTYL. AND DON'T TELL NARUTO. OR I WILL TELL EVERYONE YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY WITH HIM IN THE JANITORS CLOSET.
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T: Sakura
F: Ino
YOU WOULDN'T!
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What were you doing watching him, eh?
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BUT HA! IT WON'T BE A RUMOR. IT'LL BE THE TRUTH.
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DAMMIT! FORGET WHAT I JUST SAID. PLEASE.
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T: Ino
F: Sakura
Okay, I know its Naruto, we're seventeen and all but HAVE SOME CLASS. ITS BETTER IN THE LIBRARY BATHROOM.
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WIPE THAT DIRTY GRIN OFF OF YOUR FACE. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. I WAS TRYING TO WEBCAM WITH SASUKE-KUN.
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THE BATHROOM THAT SMELLS LIKE APPLES.
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T: Naruto
F: Ino
OUR PLAN WORKED. WE SHOULD CELEBRATE.
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Library Bathroom in an hour? ;)
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T: Ino
F: Naruto
YES! I'M SO TELLING EVERYONE.
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HELL YES. I LOVE YOU.
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T: Sasuke
F: Itachi
Due to the fact that I heard Naruto say you asked out Sakura, I am deciding to accompany you on the date, and am personally sitting next to her to see if she remembers me. I asked Mother if I could come and she agrees that Sakura should meet our family. Foolish little brother.
T: Itachi
F: Sasuke
GO TO HELL, ITACHI. DAMN YOU.
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And when you get home, Fathers going to have a little "talk" with you about your Erectile Disfunction.
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And you're sort of owned by Karin. You know? The chick with red hair and glasses?
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Yeah enjoy your life.
-Love your little Brother xx
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xxx
Itachi with ED. Oh mann. Anyway. I just got super bored, and decided to try a messaging fanfiction. How was it?
In my old school, we used to have a Library bathroom that smelled like apples, lmfao.