Author's Note: I don't own them. I just love watching them. Writing about them may not be the most flattering of ideas considering the writer. (= However, here is my very first NCIS fanfic. As a matter of fact, this is my first fanfic here at all.

Rated: T for Violence, emotions, and sexual situations. (nothing too overboard on that)

Chapter One: Emotions Unfamiliar

She had heard the scream come from somewhere. Where was the question? Then she realized the astonishing fact. It came from deep within herself. Startled by her own outburst, Ziva turned to look at him. He lay there pale and motionless with blood seeping onto the black tarred parking lot below him.

"Ziva!" McGee ran towards her with a panicked scream. "Are you…."

McGee was about to ask if she was okay. He had seen the shooter aiming his weapon towards her. He wasn't close enough to get a shot to stop him. However, McGee still tried firing at him. He knew if something wasn't done, Ziva was surely going to be shot. In shock of the situation, McGee watched as the shot fired from the shooters gun but only mere seconds later the shooter fell lifeless. How? He wasn't sure. He just saw the event as it played out before his eyes. Only the shooter and Ziva could be seen. Her back was towards him. Then a shot sounded that wasn't from McGee or Ziva's gun. Then the shooter fell.

McGee followed Ziva's gaze to the ground. "Tony?" He whispered as he dropped to a knee beside DiNozzo. "Tony?"

Gibbs ran to join his team. He grabbed Ziva by the shoulders grasping her tightly. "Are you okay?"

"Tony." McGee's words caused Gibbs to look down.

Gibbs called for an ambulance before falling beside his senior field agent. "Tony, d### you!…" He cursed at his motionless agent. "I told you to stay home on this one."

McGee was pressing against Tony's wound trying to stop the blood. "He never listens, Boss."

Ziva stood staring without as much as a blink. Her arms felt heavy as did her limbs beneath her. "I shot the shooter after…." Ziva's voice became low in a whisper.. "he shot Tony."

Gibbs glanced up at his other agent. He could tell she was shaken but he had to take care of his wounded agent at the moment. He'd deal with Ziva later.

The moments that passed went by quickly yet in a blur. The back up arrived. Tony was loaded into the ambulance. Time kept going.

"You drive, Tim." Gibbs tossed McGee the keys. McGee nodded as they loaded into the NCIS van. Gibbs, McGee, and Ziva followed behind the ambulance as it headed away from the bloody scene.

Gibbs glanced over at Ziva. He watched as her hands shook even though she was wringing them tightly. He touched her shoulder to try to calm her. Her knuckles couldn't take much more punishment of her twisting.

"You did all you could do."

Ziva's head shot towards her boss. "What?"

"I said…"

"I know your words." Ziva swallowed as the bile built up in her mouth. She could taste the bitterness of almost vomiting. "I…" Ziva struggled for words. "I've seen many shot. I've seen many die. Many!" Her voice was high pitched with an unfamiliar emotion.

Gibbs furrowed his eyebrows. "I know."

Ziva shook her head back and forth profusely. "NO! You don't know." Her voice was loud and cracking with emotion.

McGee glanced quickly at her outburst but kept driving. Gibbs stared at Ziva. He was unfamiliar with seeing her this emotional.

"I killed my own brother." Ziva continued. "I was there when my sister was killed with a suicide bomb!"

Ziva fell to her knees in the floor of the vehicle. She beat the metal floor until her knuckles tore open. Gibbs tried to subdue her. His arms wrapped around her as she wailed out. It was so out of context with Ziva….so very pained. Gibbs held her tighter as he continually brushed his hands over her hair. McGee continued driving while trying not to look back at his teammate losing it right in front of them. The teammate, who had seen so much despair without going overboard on emotion, was now rocking on her knees. Her hands twisted in her messed hair as her shoulders shook with sobs.

"But…." Her words were a weak mutter now. "But….." She continued to whisper. "I can not do this. I can not watch him die. He is Tony."

I am new to this site. I am very unfamiliar with how this works. So if you see any mistakes in my posting or have any suggestion. Feel free to let me know.