Slight warning, Kaori is a nymphomaniac, so some words might be offensive to some readers when there's a description of her dreams. It's not much, but I still have to rate it M, I think…I'll make Hidan swear so that I can be sure the rating is correct! Mwahaha…

Kishimoto-san owns the Akatsuki! I own Kaori! Nyquil is a real medicine…and I hate it. =.=

Hidan, or, the man of your dreams

Kaori Nouyatorii, young, self-proclaimed most promising medical talent of Konohagakure, was kidnapped by the Akatsuki at the fresh age of 15. At the beginning of her permanent stay, she had planned quite a few escapes, half of them nearly succeeded, except each and every time, she always forgot which way to go when came the time to choose between two halls: one led to freedom a.k.a. the door, and the other, to the living room…she always picked the wrong one. She wasn't stupid, just forgetful. So when she reached her 16th birthday, she decided to give up, and accept the weird men of the organisation; in her life, and in her dirty dreams.

Of course, being surrounded by handsome fellows of the other sex, and her being filled up with hormones, each and every one of her dream nights were a true bliss.

From shower fun with Kisame to simple bed rolling with Leader, she was always full of imagination concerning her fantasies. She was a proud dream nymphomaniac, although she hid it from her main concern.

The oh, so, sexy jashinist, Hidan.

Ever since she had first laid eyes on him, her most brutal, animalistic dreams had given him the main role. Each and every time he walked past by her, she would smell the blood and sex smell off of him like an addict. She knew he was cruel, sinful, a murderer and a rapist, and that her smart inner instinct always told her to run, but her heart, her soul and her mind, each and every part of her needed him…especially her livelihood.

So there she was, three years later, young, beautiful, and 18, being the Akatsuki's surgeon and top medic, and sleeping on her desk, dreaming about her sin. A smile was printed on her face.

She was tied in chains to a cold stone wall. It was the complete opposite of his burning body, his sweat sticking with hers. Their breaths tickled each others throat, and both of them could see how the other needed this. His hands grabbed her breasts roughly, making a lovely moan leave her throat.

"You're so sexy…and you're mine…" his husky voice haunted her mind, and she leaned in to kiss him.

Just as her lips were about to touch his, an annoying, deep, sexy and arrogant voice disturbed her wet dream.

"Wipe that stupid grin off your face and wake the fuck up!"

She growled slightly, her deep blue eyes opening to see the winner of her sex lottery, Hidan.

She sat up slowly, stretching her arms up and scratching her itchy breast. Not her fault, E-cup second-hand bras were so uncomfortable…she mentally cursed Kakuzu and his cheapness. She could feel her lace underwear getting soaked and shifted slightly on her chair, to apply pressure on her inner thighs.

"What do you need?" she asked, hearing her voice sound worthy of a sex phone whore.

Hidan approached her and sat down on the infirmary bed next to her.

"I think I caught somethin'. Check it out." He ordered, but with less strength then usual. And he also usually called her 'bitch' when he talked to her…

'Definitely sick.' She thought to herself, nearing the man by rolling her chair to him. She noticed that his hair wasn't combed back, like every other day. It was actually messy, for once.

"Yum…" she muttered, and then blushed. Oops, she wasn't supposed to say it out loud.

"What?" Hidan asked, taken aback.

"Nothin'." She answered, applying her hand to his forehead.

The man let out a long moan, surprising the young woman.

"Sorry, your hands are so cold, it feels great…" he said sheepishly.

She applied her own forehead to his, since she couldn't guess it with her freezing hands.

"Shit, you're burning!" she yelped, taking an ear thermometer and plugging it in his ears. As she waited for the 'beep', she could see a small tint of red on his cheeks and nose. The thermo beeped, and Kaori checked it.

"Holy crap…you fucked the thing up! You're so hot, you actually blew it! Thank Jashin, you're immortal!" she panicked, forcing him down on the bed and going to her supply room to get ice, extra pillows, and Nyquil.

'I hope this works out…Oh god, he looks cute!'

The sickened Jashinist was sprawled on the bed, his cloak wide open to reveal his chest. His eyes were semi-closed from fatigue and he was taking deep breaths. A large blush was spread on his face from the fever, and he simply looked adorable.

"My head's freaking spinning…" he muttered, looking up at her with luscious, although a bit hazy, pink eyes.

Her heart squeezed as she installed two bonus pillows under his head for comfort. Her hand moved on its own and went to softly caress his head. She pushed out the hair from his face and noticed that he was looking at her with incredulous eyes.

"You pitiful thing…" she cooed, smiling sweetly at him. His eyes widened in surprise.

She bent down and kissed his forehead lightly, then applied the ice sack. A loud groan left the mouth of Hidan.

"Oh Jashin, this is heaven…" he whispered, but Kaori still heard it.

"Isn't your religion against heaven belief?" she asked, smirking as she saw embarrassment creeping up the sick man's face.

"Uh, yeah, I mean…uh…you know what, fuck you." He harshly answered, then closed his eyes and pretended to go to sleep.

"Hey, ho, you're not done with me yet, Honey-pie." She chuckled as his eyes popped open at the nickname.

For once, nobody was there to hear her, so she went on with calling him whatever her heart felt like.

"W-what did you just call me?" he asked.

"Honey-pie. If you don't like it, I could call you Sugar-bear, or Bunny-boo." She laughed as he choked on his saliva in surprise.

"What the hell! When did I become your boyfriend to have fucking gay names like that?" he blurted out.

Kaori was taken aback. She hadn't thought Hidan would have caught on so easily.

"Uh…NYQUIL TIME!" she squealed, taking opportunity in the distraction.

Hidan grumbled his unsatisfied curiosity. And when he saw her coming at him with the disgusting medicine, he yelled.

"HELL NO!"

"OH, HELL YEAH! You're sick! You need it!" she yelled back, approaching the Nyquil-filled spoon towards him. He swapped her hand away, spilling some medicine on the floor.

"No fucking way! I'm immortal! I just need rest!"

"You can be contagious! TAKE IT!"

"Then back off, or YOU'LL get sick!"

"Who cares about me! Now take the FUCKING NYQUIL!"

"NO! MAKE ME!"

"OKAY!"

Hidan barely had the time to react; she scooped the spoon in her mouth and jumped on him. He opened his mouth to yell, but she just covered his lips with hers and forced the medicine down his throat.

Once he swallowed, she got back up and smirked. She had always wanted to do that.

Hidan's mouth hung open, and his eyes were pasted on her own.

"What the—why did you—I mean, fuck, what the heck!" he yelled.

Kaori worried about him not liking her move, but when she saw the blush grow redder in his face, she grinned.

She sat down next to him and stared at him with mischievous eyes. She poked his cheek and smiled.

"Go to sleep, Hidan."

"No fucking way! Not after—Humf!"

Hidan went unconscious the moment she hit a nerve with her SUPER-KAORI-CHOP.

She went back to her desk to finish her paperwork…and to dream new fantasies up.

Later that week…

All the Akatsuki were wondering how there top-medic could have fallen so easily prey to a simple cold. So there she was, laying on her bed, completely miserable, when her bedroom door opened.

Hidan was standing there, a sexy smirk on his face, and a Nyquil bottle in his hand.

THERE! For some reason, I didn't want to do a lemon…how sad. Maybe I'll add it, later, if I want to. So, anyway, there, sexy Hidan is a Poochie-baby when he's sick! You gotta love him…Review if you liked, don't if you didn't, unless you want to ask for a lemon, with a pretty please. I'll give you…uh…this virtual kitty, if you review! *Shows an adorable grey kitty with cute eyes.

Miaou!