Chapter 4: Stand or Fall

A/N: Sorry for the long delay... I've had a bunch of stuff going on! Hopefully this gets you guys excited for TSLOTAT on Monday though! I can't wait!

The next day was Wednesday, Ricky's day to work late at the butcher shop. He came upstairs after his shift ended and I already had John dressed and he was snoozing in his play pen.

"You okay?" Ricky asked me.

"I'm fine," I answered. "Just tired."

He nodded and carefully pulled John out of his play pen. His head lolled to the side on Ricky's shoulder and we headed out to the car.

"Ricky, how do you think your parents are going to take the news?" I asked as we made our way to Ricky's parents' house. I wasn't naïve enough to believe that the Shakurs would take the news incredibly well had they been presented with a T-shirt like my parents had been. Ricky thought it would be best to simply present them with the facts and what we were planning to do. And the more I thought about it, that was the secondary approach he'd taken with my family.

"My mom will probably be disappointed and my dad will probably take me into another room and yell at me," Ricky shrugged. "But they know that I already have a life with you and although we haven't officially been together very long, it's not like they would be as angry as if I had gotten someone else pregnant. They know you and they know that you and I have a long history. So when I tell them what the plan is, they might even look forward to having another grandson or a granddaughter."

"Your family is a lot less... crazy," I chimed.

Ricky merely nodded, looking out at the road as he drove.

He took one hand off the wheel and held my hand as we made our way down the road. I wasn't sure what to say... the rest of the car ride was taken in silence. Silence that had not yet betrayed the fury going on inside my confused mind.

We arrived at Ricky's parents' house a few minutes later. Despite having John, I hadn't really spent too much time with the Shakurs. I knew of Margaret and how she had been the person that had helped Ricky become the father to John that he was meant to be. I knew that because of his foster parents, Ricky had wanted to become a great father to John, just like the Shakurs had been wonderful parents to him. I also knew that he wanted to break the cycle of abuse.

So it was with a bit of anxiety that I held my son as Ricky knocked on the door and Margaret opened it, letting us inside.

"What a wonderful surprise!" she exclaimed, smiling widely. "And you've even brought the beautiful Amy."

"Thank you," I said, blushing.

"What brings you here?" she asked her son, looking at him with a keen eye.

"A lot," Ricky said, looking down and away from her. "Perhaps we could sit down for dinner or something?" His tone had changed from optimistic to nervous and I began to feel his anxiety deep within my stomach.

"We've already had dinner," Sanjay piped up from the hallway, coming out to greet us.

"Oh," Ricky said.

"Sit down, sit down," Sanjay said, gesturing to the couch. Margaret took John from Ricky and we made our way to the couch.

"Isn't a bit late for you to be up, Mister?" Margaret teased John, smiling at him. He buried his face into her shoulder.

"His bedtime is usually around eight-thirty, but this is kind of important," Ricky continued. I sat on the couch, waiting for things to settle down.

"Here, we'll just put you in your play pen and let you try to get some sleep," Margaret told John, setting him in the Pack-N-Play by the couch. He sat down and started playing with his toys.

"So, what's going on?" she asked, coming over to sit on the couch next to where we were sitting on the love seat.

Ricky didn't answer her right away. He took a deep breath and Sanjay came over to sit next to Margaret.

"Something's wrong," Sanjay said, frowning.

"Not wrong exactly," I said, looking over at Ricky.

"We're having another baby," Ricky said, looking at his parents.

Ricky's parents looked at the two of us in shock.

"You're having another baby?" Margaret asked. Sanjay simply got up and walked into the other room.

"It wasn't on purpose and I was on birth control," I said. It was so awkward talking about this to Ricky's parents, especially because I didn't know them very well.

"We're keeping the baby," Ricky said. "I got a promotion at work and we're turning the den into a second bedroom at the apartment. That's going to be John's room and the new baby will be able to sleep where John sleeps with us. It's going to be fine."

"Have you gotten prenatal care? How far along are you?" Margaret asked, looking at me.

"Twelve weeks. We saw the doctor two weeks ago," I said. "Everything seems fine."

Margaret nodded. "Neither of you are ready to be parents to John, let alone parents to two children," she said, looking directly at Ricky. "I'm disappointed in you, Ricky. You should have known better, especially since this has already happened once."

"I'm making plans. We're making plans. I got the promotion to Assistant Manager and we already get free day care since Amy works at the day care center. I work right under Bunny and the savings we're saving up from now until the baby gets here will be enough to get us started. John is almost two, so we'll be able to get him in a big boy bed by that point and we can re-use his crib. It'll be fine. Okay?"

Margaret nodded. "It's not what I want for you guys, but I can't be upset about having another grandchild. Especially since the two of you will have the means to take care of him or her. But shouldn't the two of you be talking about some kind of commitment to each other? Not marriage, but a step toward that?"

Ricky paled. "Maybe," he said. "We haven't talked much about it."

"But you're talking about it and that's a start," she said. "John's fast asleep," she added, looking over the couch into the Pack-N-Play. "He should probably be at home. If you guys need anything at all, just let us now. I think I need to go talk to your father," she added, looking at Ricky.

I got up and picked up a sleeping John and Ricky followed me out the door.

We headed back home and I couldn't help but compare the two experiences of telling our parents. One thing was still on my mind, though.

"So what was the big thing you talked to my dad about last night?" I asked him.

His cheeks turned a bit pink and I knew he was blushing.

"I'm guessing it wasn't about the baby?" I asked him slowly.

He shook his head. "No, it wasn't."

"Then why would my dad have come into the kitchen with such a big smile on his face?" I asked, confused.

"Because I asked him for permission to ask you to marry me," he replied, his blush becoming even more pronounced. "It's not like I was planning on doing it anytime soon. I just wanted to know what he'd think about it."

I was shocked. After his conversation with the Maria lady at the doctor's office when we had confirmed the pregnancy, I knew marriage was somewhere in some dark crevice of his mind, but I didn't think he would actually go as far as voicing that option to anyone, especially my dad. And I didn't think my dad would be as happy about it as what it seemed he had been right before he found out about the pregnancy.

"Amy, say something?" Ricky pressed, looking over at me worriedly.

"I really don't know what to say," I replied. "I mean, marriage is a big step. I don't know if I'll be ready to actually be married by the time the baby gets here..." I trailed off.

"It was more the engagement than anything. We could have a long one. It's not like I'd ask you to marry me tonight and then we'd be married by Friday or something. It's just something I thought we could think about, but I didn't feel right talking about it until I had your dad's permission."

"Who knew you were so old-fashioned," I teased.

"There's a lot of things I don't share with everyone," he said seriously. "This would be one of them."

I was surprised. I wasn't sure if I was ready to take that step with Ricky. I was surprised that he was actually thinking about it. I didn't want him to propose if he didn't feel ready to or if he was merely doing it out of obligation. I wanted him to marry me because he loved me.

And so Monday rolled around. 12 ½ weeks. I was anxious. Outside of our families, we still hadn't told anyone. I was becoming more and more isolated, not talking to anyone outside of Ricky and our families. I went to school, ate lunch with Ricky, drove to the day care center and worked, and then drove home with John and started dinner. I was constantly hungry.

A knock on the door distracted me from the stir-fry simmering on the stove. I got up and answered the door, surprised to see Adrian standing on the other side of it.

"Adrian?" I asked, smiling and letting her in.

"I know I should have called first, but I was already down the street," she said, heading into the living room, one hand placed at her back as she waddled into the room.

"You're fine," I said, walking back toward the kitchen. "I'm just cooking," I called. "You're more than welcome to have a seat over here," I added, nodding to the kitchen table.

"Hi, John!" I heard Adrian say. I looked around the corner and saw John wave from his Pack-N-Play at Adrian.

"So what brings you here?" I asked Adrian, as I headed back over to the stir-fry and pulled out a few plates. "Would you like to stay for dinner? Ricky should be done downstairs in a few and we're having an Asian stir-fry and steamed rice for dinner."

"Sure," Adrian replied. "I just wanted to talk to you about a few things before Ricky got done with work," she said.

"Oh?" I asked, preparing the plates.

"This is really none of my business, but I thought you should know what people are saying," she said, one hand resting on top of her belly. She looked down and played with the ring on her finger.

"What's that?" I asked, a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Are you and Ricky having another baby?" she asked, looking up at me.

My eyes grew wide in shock. "Is that what people are saying?" I asked shrilly.

"Well that gives me the answer," Adrian said, a slight smile crossing her face. "How far along are you?"

I bit my lip hesitantly. Should I really admit the truth to her? Obviously, she already knew...

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, deciding to deny it.

"Honey, either you've eaten way too much Asian food lately, or that's definitely a baby bump," she said, nodding to the curve of my stomach that was evident through the tank top I was wearing. "It's not like I'm going to go and tell the world, what with me due any day now," she laughed.

"Fine," I said, bringing over two plates and sitting them down at the table. I walked back over and started making John's dinner. "I'm almost 13 weeks. We haven't told anyone outside of family yet."

"Does Ben know?" she asked quietly.

"I haven't told him and Ricky isn't one for telling details of his private life, so I'm going to guess not," I replied. "And please, don't tell him. I don't trust him not to go off telling people."

"I won't tell him, but you do realize that you're not going to be able to hide this for much longer," Adrian said, looking at me carefully.

"I know, but I'd rather not tell people until I absolutely have to. I wasn't showing with John until about four months and I wasn't really showing until closer to five. I have time."

"This is your second pregnancy, honey. You're going to start showing sooner with this one," she said.

"I know..." I sighed, bringing John's plate over to his high chair. I walked over to pick him up from his Pack-N-Play.

"How did Ricky take it?" she asked.

"He was actually rather great about the whole thing," I said, setting John down in front of his plate. "Can you believe he asked my dad for permission to marry me? I mean, we're not getting married right now – that's just crazy. But I was completely floored with how well he took it."

"That's great, though. You've turned Ricky into a family man after all," she smirked. "Have you thought of names yet?"

I just stared at her and couldn't help but laugh. I tried to cover my laughter with my hand. "You know, you're the first person to really act as if this is real. Ricky's all talking about how we're going to make it work, how we're going to move John out of our room for the baby and everything... but he's yet to really start talking about the baby as a person," I smiled.

Adrian nodded. "I think it's really just now starting to hit Ben that we're going to have a baby in the house in just a few days or weeks." She changed the subject back. "So, names?"

"I think I want to stick with something traditional, like John's name," I said. "I haven't cleared anything with Ricky yet, but I really like Thomas for a boy. And Claire for a girl."

"Cute," Adrian commented.

"What about names for your little girl?" I asked.

"Nice try," Adrian laughed. "We're keeping it secret until she's born."

The sound of the key in the lock caused us both to turn around as Ricky walked into the living room.

"Daddy!" John squealed, rolling his head around to try to catch a glimpse of his father.

"Hey guys, Adrian," Ricky said, heading over to tickle John. "Messy face," he teased John, whose face was covered in steamed rice. He headed into the kitchen and took his plate off the table. "Looks fantastic, Amy." He turned around and headed back to the table. "Adrian, you look like you're going to pop at any second. How much longer until the kid's here?"

"I'm due in about two weeks," Adrian replied. "But I doubt she'll really make it that long."

"It's a girl?" he asked.

"Yeah," Adrian replied.

"Name?"

"I already tried asking her that, but they're not telling," I teased.

Ricky smiled. "Think we can get away with that?" He froze. "I – I mean, you think they can get away with that?"

"It's okay, Ricky. Amy already told me you guys are having another baby," Adrian replied.

Ricky looked back over at me, a look of surprise on his face. "She won't say anything to anyone. Besides, I'm already showing a bit," I shrugged. "Apparently people at school are already wondering and Adrian came over saying she heard from a rumor going around school."

"Honey, I'm sorry you're going to have to go back to that in the fall," Ricky sighed.

"It's fine," I replied. "Just one more year and then hopefully we'll both be done with it," I sighed.

"At any rate, I should be going. Ben's probably going to go nuts since I'm not home yet," Adrian sighed.

"Well, call me when you get home, okay?" I reminded Adrian. "I don't want you to have that baby on the way home or something," I laughed.

"Ha! Cute," Adrian replied sarcastically, taking her purse off of the coat rack and waddling toward the door.

Sorry it's taken me so long to update! I'll definitely try to update more often! I'm about halfway done with the next chapter.

Please review!

By the way, I've started a new weblog full of my original work. I'll be updating that regularly, too! If you guys want to take a looksies and review some of that, you're more that welcome to. The address is LeahAnneOriginals at blogspot dot com.

Once again, thanks for reading!

Much love,
xoxo