Full Summary: Ichigo wakes up to find his town being attacked by 'Neo Espada', created by Aizen to ensure his escape out of Muken. But these Neo Espada and their Fracción aren't quite like the last ones. Some have their own agenda, and aren't shy to betray or trick their comrades. Others actually find themselves making connections with the enemy. But they all want to stay alive and if that means killing every Shinigami in the way, they will most certainly do it. With Ichigo's powers gone, how is he going to protect his family? New villains rise, a shocking character death changes everything and love makes it all more complicated. At least there's some comedy in it...

Hai gais!

Warning:This story contains crack, violence and other shit not suitable for kids. Also, spoilers for chapter 352.

Disclaimer: I own NUTHING. Except my own OC ;D

Prologue

"Ulquiorra. I need you to do something for me."

"Anything, Aizen-sama."

"You know I have created ten new Espada for when the current ones fall."

"Yes."

"I want you to lead them when the time comes. Take this pill. When you're on the verge of death, it will save you. You and any other Espada that is left need to see to it that they receive their orders."

"I… understand."

"You don't seem too happy."

"I'd rather follow than lead, Aizen-sama."

"Don't worry. All you need to do is to make sure they know their mission."

"What might that be?"

"The only way they could possibly defeat me is to lock me up, though I doubt that will happen. They can't kill me because of the Hōgyoku. If this happens, they need to get me out of Muken, the place they will most likely seal me in."

"I understand, and I will follow orders, Aizen-sama."

"Tch, so this is it?" Ulquiorra muttered as he watched his wings fade into the wind as little dust particles. He knew it was coming. But to be honest, he didn't want to follow Aizen's orders anymore. Being stuck with a bunch of ignorant newbies was surely going to be torment for him. He looked at Ichigo, who was perplexed, staring at Ulquiorra's wings.

'That idiot. Why is he just gazing at me?'

"Kill me." the Espada said, shocking Ichigo even more. "Hurry. I don't even have the strength left to walk. If you don't kill me now the conflict between us will never be resolved." he told the boy as a way to get out of his orders. Frankly, he didn't care for a leader who could get captured. And he had no interest in freeing such a man.

"…No." Ichigo almost whispered.

"What?" Ulquiorra asked, quite surprised by this reaction.

"…I refuse!" Ichigo repeated, his voice louder. "You… YOU EXPECT ME TO WIN LIKE THIS?" The Cuatro was truly stunned. He had not anticipated this stubborn rejection.

"Tch, right to the end, you never do what I think you will."

'I guess I will have to follow orders now. Being a man of my word is more of a nuisance than I could have expected.'

"In the end, I think I actually had some interest in you people." Ulquiorra looked at Orihime, who seemed in a state of shock. He reached for her with his hand.

'As long as the new Espada aren't complete imbeciles, I'll manage.'

"Are you afraid of me, woman?" he asked.

"I'm not afraid." Orihime said, confidence in her voice and a sad look in her eyes. Ulquiorra simply stared at her.

"Really…." she reached back for him. Her hand was so close, but it was too late. His upper body now quickly dissolved into dust, followed by his legs until nothing was left of him.

He didn't look forward to this. At all. It had been one year ever since Aizen had been captured, and Ulquiorra had finally scrambled together every piece of dust and was complete. Now, it was time for him to search for any surviving ex-Espada or Arrancar, then search for the ten new Espada who'd been located in another building somewhere far away from Las Noches, undiscovered by the Shinigami. As he concentrated on finding any glimpse of familiar reiatsu, he walked through the desert. It was awfully quiet now most sentient Hollows were annihilated by the Shinigami. He spotted the remnants of Yammy's body just a few miles away on his right. It still hadn't dissolved completely, which was odd. He paid no further attention to it and continued walking.

A speck of blue-green a few miles in front of him caught his attention. It didn't take him long to realize it was Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck, seemingly still in her child form. There was someone with her, lying on the sand. After further investigation, he discovered that it was Grimmjow, recognizing the reiatsu. That surprised him. He had not expected Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, of all people, to survive this war. As much as he would've liked to leave him there to bleed to death, orders were orders. With a fast Sonido he was beside them, staring down at the wounded former Sexta.

"U-Ulquiorra-thama!" Nel gasped. He paid no attention to her, and stared at Grimmjow's wounds. He was unconscious for the time being. The wound near his neck was most serious, and probably the only thing that threatened his life. Judging by the width, it had been targeted by other enemies. It seemed his other minor injuries had already healed or were busy healing. Some were fresh, indicating that even in this wounded state he'd tried to fight someone or something. How reckless. Now, Ulquiorra's attention shifted to Nel.

"Heal him." he demanded. Nel blinked, but did not argue with him. He knew her saliva had a minor healing effect, but it would be more than enough to help Grimmjow heal up, because Ulquiorra also knew the man was too proud to simply bleed to death in a desert.

"He tried to walk. Nel wanted to thop him, but he didn't lithen and got into a fight and got wounded more and-"

"-I don't need your explanation. You're useless in this form. You could help by turning back to your adult form." Nel stared at him with her big, hazel eyes.

"But Nel doeth not know how to do that!"

"Figure it out, child." Ulquiorra responded coldly, not interested in being a babysitter. He sat down on a flat rock nearby and stared down at Grimmjow, waiting, since that was all he could do for now.

He waited for a very long time, watching the man regain and lose consciousness every now and then, mumbling incoherent sentences and dreaming. He didn't know how long he sat there, could've been days, could've been weeks, but nevertheless, eventually Grimmjow woke up. His blue eyes stared at the sky and he was clearly trying to figure out what had happened and remember. Then his gaze shifted to Nel, who smiled happily, and lastly, to Ulquiorra. The silence continued for a little while.

"I thought you were dead." Ulquiorra didn't respond. Slowly, Grimmjow sat up, feeling the long scar on his neck, shoulder and chest. He didn't seem very angry, just irritated and disgusted by the saliva/barf on his neck and torso. "I assume you have new orders?" he said to Ulquiorra, who, for the first time in a long while, stood up.

"Follow." he simply said, and Sonido'd away. He knew Grimmjow was following him, Nel clinging to his arm, though he doubted the former Sexta could keep it up much longer. Fortunately, they weren't very far from Location Neo. He stopped right in front of a tall, wide, white building that looked a lot like a skyscraper, though it had very few and small windows. It had been protected by an extremely strong seal, and Ulquiorra had the key to open it. Grimmjow arrived and stood next to him, though he was obviously displeased, and watched Ulquiorra pull out a small, fluorescent stone that broke into four tiny pieces and pierced through the only door in the building. The skyscraper lit up for a few seconds, showing the barrier, that then cracked and scattered into a million tiny pieces, disappearing with the wind.

Ulquiorra stood there, then turned to Grimmjow.

"Why do you wish to cooperate?" he asked curiously. He'd always thought that Grimmjow had despised Aizen.

"Do I have anything else to do?"

"I thought you might want revenge on Kurosaki Ichigo."

"I've seen him. He's a worthless human now. I have no interest in fighting a weakling." Ulquiorra was surprised by that news.

"I see. Only you would be foolish enough to visit him with those wounds." he said dryly, and walked towards the door. Grimmjow growled at him, mumbling profanities just loud enough for Ulquiorra to hear. The former Cuatro ignored him and reached for the door. He was just quick enough to dodge it when it was blasted out of the wall by great force. Grimmjow stared at the door, then at the person responsible for destroying it.

"Was about fucking time!" a voice declared.

The ten new Espada were staring at them from the hole where the door used to be.

Finally, after all those months of confinement, they had regained their freedom.

The OCs will all be introduced in the next chapter.

So, dudes && dudettes, here it is. I hope I won't disappoint.

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed :3