Characters: Beckett/Castle, Lanie

Rating: T+

Genre: Humor

Summary: After finding out that Castle and Beckett finally slept together, Lanie gets slightly obsessed with checking Beckett for early pregnancy symptoms. Part 3.

I do NOT own Castle.

Oh so this is what the fanfic upload page looks like... It's been so long since I uploaded anything that I'd nearly forgotten what it looked like...

WARNING: This is the third part in the Creeper!Lanie story and it mentions pregnancy related girly things so, you've been warned.

One A Day Keeps The Two Week Wait Away... Part 3

Day 6

"This case is making absolutely no sense at all. It's like a puzzle, but we've only got half of the middle pieces and none of the outer pieces." Kate said as she threw her head back onto the armrest with a groan, their case was at a near standstill.

"We've been staring at this for hours," Castle said as he gestured towards the makeshift murder board they had set up when they had finally had enough of the new Captain breathing down their necks and decided that they would probably make more progress if they left the precinct when Beckett's shift was over. "Let's take a break and do something else for a while."

"Oh, and what exactly did you have in mind there, Mr. Castle?" Beckett pulled her legs off his lap and tucked them under her so she could lean up and let her lips hover over his as she talked.

"Well, I was thinking-" he jerked forward as someone started knocking loudly on her door, causing their lips to touch briefly, "-that you answer your door. Were you expecting someone?"

With a small sigh at the bad timing of the person trying to break down her door with their fist, Beckett climbed off the couch and headed towards the front door. "Not that I remember."

A quick look through the peephole in the door revealed that it was Lanie on the other side and Beckett seriously considered pretending that she wasn't home, but figured that if she didn't, Lanie would just keep knocking, or give up and use her spare key.

When Beckett opened the door, before she could even open her mouth to greet the M.E., Lanie forced herself inside and suddenly her hands were squeezing parts of Beckett's body that Beckett was definitely not okay with her squeezing.

"What the hell, Lanie?" Beckett practically flew backwards and crossed her arms protectively over her chest.

"Just finding out for myself, since you won't tell me anything. Are they sore?" Lanie said, not knowing that she was completely creeping Beckett out with the way she was staring at her chest with her hands in the air, twitching like she was itching to grab at them again.

"Yeah, because you just squeezed the hell out of them!" Beckett took a step back and Lanie lunged at her again, managing to grab a hold of them when Beckett had to remove her arms to gain back her balance; she'd nearly tripped over her heels that she had kicked off earlier and left in the middle of the floor.

Something shattered to the right of them and they both paused to look over at the source of the noise and saw Castle standing there with his eyes and mouth wide open and a shattered glass at his feet where it had slipped out of his grip.

"Uh," Lanie looked back and Beckett and quickly removed her hands from the detective's chest then turned towards Castle, "I've always wanted to do that?"

Day 7

The last bits of a very good dream faded out as Beckett became aware of how uncomfortable her chest was and rolled off her stomach and onto her back to relieve the pain. Even though she could practically hear Lanie telling her that sore boobs were a very, very common sign of early pregnancy, she wasn't overly worried about it. After all, Lanie had assaulted them, that was a perfectly logical reason for them still being sore.

She hated sleeping flat on her back so she gently rolled over to one side and managed to get comfortable and tried to go back to sleep.

Except, she kept having an odd feeling that something wasn't right. Beckett opened her eyes to glance at the clock but instead she found herself face to face with a pair of eyes she could just barely see over the edge of the bed, staring at her in the dark.

With a shrill scream that probably woke up her whole apartment building, Beckett flung herself back and grabbed the gun she kept under her pillow, pointing it at the figure who immediately stood up with their hands held up high.

"Whoa, whoa, Becks. Calm down, Girl, it's just me." came a familiar voice from the figure that was getting more distinct as her eyes adjusted to the dark.

"Lanie?" Beckett lowered her gun and put it off to the side on her nightstand table, then quickly threw the pillow she still had in her other hand at her friend where it hit her square in the face. Hard. "What the fucking hell, Lanie! I could have shot you! What are you doing here?"

"Never mind about me, I want to know about that smexy dream you were having. It sounds like you and Writer Boy were having yourselves a good old time there. Sounded pretty vivid too, judging by the sounds you were makin'. You know that vivid dreams are a sign too, right?"

Beckett's heart was still beating fast after the scare Lanie had given her and it felt like all that extra blood was being pumped straight into her chest causing it to feel even more sore and heavy and Beckett decided she had had enough.

"Lanie? If I tell you something, will you leave me alone for a while?" she said after she caught a small glint of metal on her nightstand that she knew wasn't there when she went to sleep.

"Depends on what it is." Lanie replied, crossing her arms and looking at Beckett suspiciously in the dark since no one had bothered to turn on the lights.

"Oh it's good, trust me."

"Fine, what is it?" Once Lanie agreed, Beckett moved over until she was sitting on the edge of the bed and had Lanie lean down so she could whisper in her ear.

"I am," she started, slowly reaching around the M.E. to carefully grab Lanie's keys that were sitting on the nightstand and hide them under the covers without her noticing before yelling the last bit, "not pregnant!"

Lanie jumped back and fixed a glare on Beckett. "Ow! Geez, Kate. Just you wait, woman, just you wait. You'll see that I'm right."

"Uh huh, and while we are waiting, can you please get out of my apartment so I can sleep?"

"Yeah sure, whatever. I got what I wanted anyway." Lanie started walking out of Beckett's bedroom and Beckett followed behind her, carefully pulling off a single key from the keyring.

"Oh, and what was that?"

"I got proof that your girls are sore, and that you are having some very vivid dreams. Whoa man, if you and Writer Boy's sex life is anything like you were dreaming-"

"Okay!" Beckett cut her off, shoved her keys at her, and started pushing her the last few feet to the front door, "Goodbye. See you tomorrow, okay? Okay, bye." She all but pushed the M.E. out the door and slammed it shut and locked it behind her, not even caring about the neighbors she might be waking up at this point. She just wanted to get back to sleep.

Luckily for Beckett, Lanie wouldn't discover that Beckett had taken back her spare apartment key until much later that day.

Day 8

Beckett sat at her desk, dutifully doing her paper work as beads of sweat dripped down the back of her neck. There were so many people rushing around the bullpen doing various things and making it feel so stuffy in there that she wasn't sure how they could stand it.

In fact, she wasn't sure how much longer she could stand it as she felt her stomach start to protest the heat as well by making her think she might be seeing her lunch again soon.

Beckett looked over at Castle, intending to tell him that he might as well go home and get out of the heat, but was shocked to see that he looked perfectly cool and fine, happily playing some random game on his phone.

"Aren't you hot?" she asked and Castle looked up at her for the first time in an hour or so and noticed the sweat glistening on her forehead.

"No...but it looks like you are. Are you feeling okay?" Without waiting for her response, he reached over and pressed his cool hand to her forehead. "Jesus, Kate! You're burning up! I thought you said you were over your cold?"

"I am, Castle. I'm fine, they must just have the heater on high or something in here."

"Kate, everyone in here has been talking about how they wished they had brought heavier jackets. The heater is just barely keeping this place from freezing."

She didn't know how to respond to that so she kept quiet as he studied her for a few minutes before jumping up and grabbing her hand to pull her up as well.

"Okay, I'm taking you home because you are obviously not feeling well. Let's go." Castle grabbed their jackets and quickly put hers on her, despite her protests, and started pulling her towards the elevator.

"Castle, let go. I need to finish all that paperwork." she said, trying to tug her arm away from him but moving too much just seemed to make it hotter so she wasn't trying that hard and it didn't take him long to get her in the elevator.

"It can wait and you know it. What you need is to actually rest until you get better."

"But-" The elevator doors shut on the detective and writer, cutting off her sentence before the M.E. lurking in the shadows of the bullpen could hear the rest of her protests.

But Lanie was fine with that because fevers and nausea were very common around this time in the two week wait.

Day 9

Nearly scalding water poured over Beckett as she scrubbed furiously at the skin on her arms with a washcloth, more out of frustration than anything else.

She had almost gotten her hands on the sweet mana from heaven that Castle brought her all the time when a new rookie had bumped into Castle, causing him to spill both his and her coffee all over the both of them.

It was really an innocent mistake and she knew it, but it's safe to say that that rookie wouldn't be hanging around the homicide division anymore after she nearly bit the poor guy's head off.

Yes, she overreacted, but dang it, she wanted that coffee. She had been looking forward to that little joy in life ever since this morning when she woke up and realized that her fever was gone, but she now had stomach cramps.

Stomach cramps that were really more like period cramps, but she knew it was still a few days too early for that.

So now she was taking a shower at the precinct, washing off all the coffee and trying to get in a better mood before she went back out there so she didn't end up shooting someone.

As she moved to scrub at her chest, deciding that her arms were clean enough now that they were a nice bright pink color, she came to the other reason why she was in such an irritated mood.

Her "girls", as Lanie would call them, were still very, very sore and heavy. Can't forget the heaviness. Breasts were not meant to feel like boulders when they come out of a bra. And, as if that wasn't enough, there seemed to be veins popping up all over the place on them, which she knew from the list of symptoms that Lanie kept repeating to her every chance she got, were a very big symptom of pregnancy.

Nope, no way was she pregnant. It just wasn't happening. She was just paranoid because of Lanie and her stupid Two Week Wait site.

"Are you trying to scrub all of your skin off?" Beckett whipped around so fast that her hair sent water flying everywhere to see Lanie standing just outside of the shower stall.

"Whoa, those are some impressive veins you got going on there. 'Course, it's been a long time since I've seen them but I'm pretty sure those weren't there before..." Lanie trailed off as she stared at Beckett's chest with a look of concentration as the detective stood there frozen for a few seconds, just gaping at her best friend.

"You know that veins like that are-" Beckett said Lanie's name to get her attention and normally Lanie would have just ignored her and continued on but the tone she used sounded rather menacing.

"If you don't leave right now that favorite shirt of yours that you have on right now? It's going to get ruined by cherry scented shampoo."

And of course, Lanie didn't take her threat seriously until a few seconds later she was dodging a bottle and the stream of shampoo coming out of its open lid.

"Fine, I can take a hint," Lanie called back over her shoulder as she headed out of the women's shower room, "but you better tell me if you start having any cramps or pain! That could be a sign of a little Castle baby settling down in there!"

With a loud sigh, Beckett walked over and picked up the bottle of shampoo and was just about to start cleaning up the shampoo mess when she noticed Karpowski glancing between her and the door Lanie just left through with a confused and wary expression on her face.

"Uh, about that..." Beckett tried to explain but Karpowski just held up a hand and Beckett fell silent.

"About what? I didn't hear or see anything, in fact, we didn't even have this conversation." With that Karpowski turned around and left, leaving Beckett alone to clean up the spilled shampoo with a thought running through her head.

'Lanie couldn't possibly be right, could she?'

Day 10

Normal people would be asleep at four-thirty in the morning. Normal people wouldn't be sitting on their couch with a giant pile of home pregnancy tests, that their best friend had hid in various places for them to find, sitting on their coffee table.

Kate Beckett was not a normal person.

She sat there wishing that she could be surprised that Lanie did this, but she really wasn't.

It all started yesterday when she had went to get dressed after her shower and a single pregnancy test fell out of her locker. As soon as she realized what it was, she had quickly gotten dressed and snuck it into the bullpen so she could hide it in her purse when she found another test sitting innocently inside her purse.

If she hadn't been so freaked out trying to hide them, she would have noticed that the spare key she kept in her purse was missing.

When she finally made it home that night, after a very long day of being paranoid that someone was going to look into her purse, she had opened her refrigerator to see another test.

Then she found one in her pantry.

And then in her bathroom, her bedroom, her office, and even one sitting on the middle of her dining room table.

Everywhere she looked she kept finding one until she ended up with the giant pile sitting on her coffee table.

Now, after trying and failing to sleep, she found herself staring at the pile at four-thirty in the morning, wondering if maybe Lanie was right.

What if she really was pregnant? What if Lanie was right and all these weird things going on with her weren't because of some crazy cold she caught? What would she do if she really was going to become a mother?

What would that mean for her and Castle? Would he want her to keep it? Would he be a good father? Yes, of course he would, he was a great father but would she be a good mother? How would it affect her job? What if-

Beckett firmly patted both her cheeks to snap herself out of her thoughts before they got even more frantic but it didn't take long before her attention was back on that pile of stick.

Well, she thought to herself, there's only one way to settle this.

"First morning urine is highly recommended but not required."

Well, it was morning so she had that covered.

"Collect your urine in a cup. Only a small volume is needed."

Huh, she'd always assumed that you literally just peed on the stick but this was slightly more sanitary. It took her a few minutes, but she finally found an old plastic cup that she could use and then get rid of after it had served its purpose.

Quickly, feeling just a little bit awkward and silly for doing this in the first place, she did what she needed to do.

"Remove the test cassette from the foil pouch and place it on a flat, dry surface."

Well duh, what else was she going to do? Wave it around in the air? Put it in a sink full of water? She wanted to do this right so she was going to do exactly as it said, even if some of it was just common sense.

"Using the dropper included with the kit, collect a sample of the urine. Hold the dropper upright over the round sample well, gently squeeze and add four drops of urine into the round well."

With a slightly shaky hand, knowing that this could change her life forever, she did as it said then quickly looked away from the test and went back to reading the box.

"In 1 to 3 minutes a color line will appear in the C area to indicate the test is finished."

So in one to three minutes she would know her fate. These were either going to be the longest or shortest minutes of her life. As she sat there mentally counting the seconds until three minutes were up she read the part where it told how to read the results over and over again.

The C or control area that was on the right side of the test would show a line no matter what- unless, of course, she was unlucky enough to get a messed up test.

It was the line on the left, the T or test line, that would give her the answer. If a line showed up, she was going to have to deal with a gloating Lanie and tell Castle that they were starting a family together a little sooner than either of them had planned. She briefly wondered if he wanted another girl, or if he would like a son. Either way, any child with his genes in them would be completely adorable.

The three minutes were up sooner than she would have liked and with a deep breath she closed her eyes and felt her way over to the test and didn't open her eyes until she knew her hand was covering up the portion with the results.

Slowly she reminded herself to breathe and slid her hand to the left, just enough to reveal that the control line was there. Good, it wasn't a defective test at least.

It took longer than she would ever admit to pluck up the courage and take her hand completely off the test and when she finally did, she wasn't sure how she felt about the result after all the 'what if's her mind had come up with.

There was no test line.

I wanted to wait and upload the rest of this story in one chapter but certain people (CoughBookyCough) were getting impatient.

So there will be one more chapter for Creeper!Lanie.