Chapter 2: Day One by Lucy Saxon

Rhys wondered if Gwen would notice him banging his head against the table repeatedly. He doubted it. She hadn't been paying attention to him for most of the night, why would she start then? He didn't know why he'd agreed to this date night, he could have gone down the pub with Andy and Ianto instead. He definitely would have enjoyed himself more there.

Trailing off in the middle of his sentence, seeing Gwen sat with glazed eyes across from him, he gave her a frustrated look. She'd spent the evening alternating between staring into space, and avoiding any questions about her new job. Special Ops, she said it was. He'd given up asking; all he knew was Andy didn't know whether to be pleased or annoyed. Pleased that he wouldn't be working with her anymore, or annoyed at having to get used to a new partner. Personally, having seen Gwen on the job, Rhys thought that any partner Andy got would be easier to work with than Gwen.

Sighing to himself, he caught the waiter's eye, indicating for the cheque. "Let's have an early night, hmm?" he suggested, placing his hand over Gwen's to get her attention. He mustered up his best roguish grin, winking at her, and she smiled back halfheartedly.

"What the hell is that?" she said suddenly, looking straight past his head and into the sky. He turned, following her gaze, and his eyes widened.

"Is that a plane on fire?" he asked incredulously, seeing her frown. Other people were starting to notice now, shrieking and screaming as they ran from their seats, assuming the fireball – or whatever it was – was heading their way. He and Gwen stood, and her frown deepened.

"It's not a plane," she told him as it passed over their heads, before grabbing his hand, tugging him in the direction the fireball had just flown.

"Wait!" he urged, gesturing to their food, which hadn't yet been paid for.

"Come on!" she muttered, ignoring his protests and dragging him from the restaurant. He followed with a roll of his eyes, the two of them running round the corner to try and get a better look. As the fireball grew closer and closer to the ground, they stopped, wide-eyed as it finally touched ground somewhere on the horizon.

"What was that?" he said more to himself, snapped out of his daze as Gwen's phone bleeped. Watching her pull it out of her handbag, he frowned as she turned to him.

"I've got to go to work," she told him, sounding excited. Kissing him on the cheek, she dashed off without so much as a by-your-leave, leaving him standing in the street on his own.

Mysterious flaming meteorite lands and Gwen gets a text calling her in? That couldn't be a coincidence.

.-.-.

Having had no alerts of any kind, not even a Weevil Retrieval, Jack knew it was too good to be true. So when Tosh's computer bleeped halfway through a game of poker, none of them were surprised. Owen groaned, grumbling under his breath as Tosh darted to read the information appearing on her screen. Displacing Ianto from where he was leant against his chest, Jack followed her, leaning in to read over her shoulder. "Flaming meteorite in the sky, crashed in the park. Looks like its back to work, people. Ianto, text Gwen, would you? Let's see how she handles this," he ordered, already shrugging his coat on. Ianto did as he was told, and they got into the SUV, bringing it round to the front to wait for Gwen. It didn't take long for her to get there, and she got in the back seat next to Owen and Tosh. Staying back to coordinate, Ianto turned on his comm. And started listening to their conversation through Jack's earpiece.

"I saw the meteorite, what is it?" Gwen asked as Jack started to drive.

"That's what we're going to find out. Simple locate and cleanup operation. Find that meteorite before anyone else gets to it. Good to see you, by the way," Jack replied.

"Tosh, you found it yet?" Owen asked, as the machines bleeped around them.

"You got enough kit?" Gwen asked, slightly awed.

"Basic tracking and surveillance," Tosh replied, pointing at the screen in front of them. "The crash site. With this, we can tap into CCTV networks and databases..."

"Is this CRIMINT? This is the police computer system. You shouldn't have this," Gwen said, looking at the screen. Jack smirked to himself. It's not like they were using it for anything bad.

"Might wanna stop saying 'you' and start saying 'we'," he reminded her. He sped up when they reached the motorway. "Ianto, any news on the meteorite?" he asked over the Comm.

"Nothing yet, sir," Ianto replied.

"So what are we going to do? I'm pretty sure we can't take it back to your base, not in this car anyway," Gwen remarked. Jack chuckled slightly.

"We don't need to. We'll take samples, make sure it's not dangerous, then hand it over to the authorities. Chances are it's just a big lump of space rock. Nothing to worry about," he replied.

"The crash site is 100 meters ahead," Tosh announced, reading off the screen. Jack nodded as they drove down the dirt road, slowing slightly, and they saw a load of army trucks.

"Shit. The amateurs got here first," Owen swore, getting his bag and opening the door. They got out, and Jack looked over the bustling crowd.

"All right, usual formation," he ordered, walking forward. The others followed, and Gwen hurried to catch up.

"What's the usual formation?" she asked Owen.

"Varies," he replied shortly.

Ianto smirked to himself, leaning back in his chair. Looks like he wasn't the only one annoyed at their new member. Maybe having her around wouldn't be so bad, after all. The entertainment value of hazing her wasn't likely to wear off anytime soon.

Absently tossing Owen's stress ball between his hands, he listened as even the military refused to believe Gwen was Torchwood. He wasn't surprised; she didn't look like their usual type. Not enough backbone.

"So let's see what we came for," Jack said, having rescued Gwen from the soldiers. Ignoring Ianto's snickering through his comm., he followed the roped off path until they got to the crater. He saw Owen down by the meteorite and Tosh off to one side. "So what do we know?" he asked.

"Bog standard space debris," Owen answered, and then looked up at Gwen. "That's a technical term," he added patronizingly. Ianto had never been more glad for Owen's general dislike of people, police officers, and annoying women. It would be a long time before any of them took her even remotely seriously.

"Yeah, thanks," Gwen muttered, already riled up.

"So take all the readings, and let's get out of here," Jack said. It was cold, and if there was nothing interesting out here, he'd rather go home with Ianto. Owen nodded, and Jack set the toolbox he was carrying down, opening it. Gwen stood there, watching, as he got some tools out, throwing them down to Owen, who caught them expertly, taking off scrapings and putting them into vials, while Tosh scanned it with her machines.

"Make yourself useful, sweetheart. Pass us the big chisel from the toolbox," Owen called up to Gwen. Ianto could practically hear her scowl over the earpiece.

"Not 'sweetheart'. Gwen. One syllable, I'm sure you can manage," she retorted. Jack grinned to himself, glad it was too dark for Gwen to see. This could be interesting; most people would balk at Owen's sharp and occasionally hurtful teasing. The rest of them were used to it by now, though occasionally he did go too far when he got angry, saying something that would make Tosh cry, or make Ianto go quiet and almost mechanical in his work, or send Jack into deep, brooding silences.

"What, not Sweet Cheeks? Freckles? New Girl?" Owen asked mockingly. Gwen picked up the chisel Owen was asking for.

"It's a shame your tools aren't big enough for the job, darling. Catch," she said, and that made Jack snicker despite himself. Seems this girl would give as good as she got. She threw the chisel at him, as if throwing an axe, making it spin and lodge itself in the meteorite. Jack looked up in alarm. Well, bugger.

"Shit," Owen cursed, watching as gas issued from the hole in the meteorite. Jack immediately threw gas masks to each of them, and they put them on. Gwen stood there blankly, and he held one up to her face, as he held his own up to his mouth and nose.

"Put this on," he told her, and she held it so he could let go. A cloud of pink gas erupted from the hole and shot off into the sky. Gwen looked at Jack wide eyed, and he just raised his eyebrows at her in a 'that was stupid' expression. Owen gave her a dark look and went to start packing up, keeping the gas mask on his face. No one spoke as they finished up, and picked up their things, going back to the SUV. They didn't even look at Gwen.

"What happened?" Ianto asked them as they drove back.

"We found it, were taking samples, Gwen threw a chisel to Owen and missed, it hit the meteorite, released an unknown pink gas, which then went into the sky," Jack replied, and heard his lover wince audibly.

"I'm sorry. It was an accident," Gwen apologized from her seat.

"We know," Jack replied, though it probably wasn't very reassuring.

"Right, I'll see if there's been any sightings of pink gas in the area, or anything strange going on," Ianto said, before Gwen could start on her stream of apologies.

"Good thinking. We'll be back in a few," Jack told him.

"I really am sorry, though. I didn't mean to," Gwen repeated, and Jack held back a groan.

"No use apologizing now, you've already set an alien gas loose," Owen snapped at her.

"Well it's not like I did it on purpose! I'm sorry!" Gwen huffed, and Owen let out a frustrated noise.

"Look, Newbie, apologizing isn't going to do anything, so shut up and just hope we can fix your cock-up."

.-.-.

They reached the Hub, and when Ianto heard the cog door roll back, it was accompanied by the sound of Gwen apologizing profusely, still.

"I'm so sorry," she said emphatically, for what must have been the 50th time.

"Seriously, stop saying that," Jack replied as they walked up the steps. Glancing over his shoulder from where he was sat at the computer, he met Jack's eye, sending the man a sympathetic smile. Jack merely looked back ruefully, directing them all to the autopsy room.

"But I am, I mean, really... I mean, really, really sorry. God, I can't believe it," Gwen said as they walked past her.

"Didn't they teach you health and safety in the police?" Owen asked sardonically, setting up the samples for testing.

"You two chuck tools at each other, so I-"

"We didn't miss," Owen pointed out.

"I'll sort it. Whatever's happened, I'll deal with it," Gwen said firmly. "What do you think has happened? I mean, it was just gas, wasn't it? It can't be too bad, can it?" she asked. Ianto refrained from pointing out that gas wasn't exactly harmless, but Owen had no such restraint.

"Right, because gas never did anyone any harm," he said sarcastically.

"On the plus side, we've got good evidence. Relatively undamaged," Jack interrupted the argument, and Ianto frowned at the tightness in his lover's voice. This much stress on Jack so early on did not bode well for Gwen's future career. Or her chances at stealing Jack, which he could only be pleased about.

"On the downside, there's an alien on the loose. We don't know where it is, why it's here or what it's gonna do," Owen finished for him, staring pointedly at Gwen. Jack fixed him with a look.

"Give her a break," Tosh said to Owen, who rolled his eyes at her. She was too soft for her own good

"God, this has been the worst first day ever," Gwen murmured, more to herself than the others.

"We all make mistakes. Get over it," Jack told her. "Now we find and recover whatever came out of there."

"This might help," Ianto said, appearing in the doorway to the autopsy room. "Nightclub death, been phoned into 999. Circumstances sound...a little unusual. Might be connected," he told them, reading from a clipboard, which Gwen had a look at.

"Okay, that's weird," she declared, reading it. She passed it to Jack, who'd frown got deeper as he read further down the paper.

"We should definitely check that out. Good work, Ianto, see what else you can find," he said, kissing the younger man on the cheek as he passed, smiling gratefully. Ianto smiled back, reveling in Gwen's venomous glare. Take that, bitch!

.-.-.

Leaning against the railing and wishing he had a cup of coffee, Andy Davidson cursed whoever thought four in the morning was a reasonable hour to report a crime. He'd been fast asleep before the call had come, and thought wistfully of his nice warm bed as the SOCO approached him. "What are we waiting for, then?" he asked, hoping to get it over with as quickly as possible.

"Torchwood," the other man replied, clearly annoyed. "They called ahead, asked us to hold the scene for them. Taking bloody liberties, as always," he grumbled. Andy raised an eyebrow, wondering what Ianto and his team wanted with a nightclub death. Then again, Torchwood were always doing weird stuff.

Thankfully, it wasn't too long before the familiar black SUV drove up, parking across the road. Andy's eyes lingered on Jack Harkness, Ianto's bloke – they'd met a couple of times when he and Rhys went back to Ianto's flat – and the other two, Owen and Tosh he thought their names were. His eyebrows shot up to his hairline when he saw a fourth figure approaching at a jog behind the others. "Gwen?" he asked, stunned to see his old partner. Since when did she run with Torchwood?

"Hi," she greeted, slightly breathlessly. Andy wondered if Rhys knew about her new job. He doubted it; it didn't seem like the type of thing Gwen would tell him. Probably pat him on the head and tell him it was too complicated for him. Scowling slightly, he wondered if Rhys would ever see that he deserved better than Gwen. He deserved someone who loved him, not just put up with him.

"Bloody hell. Look at you, all posh," he muttered, eyeing her plain-clothed form. How the hell had someone like Gwen bloody Cooper gotten a job with Torchwood?

Ignoring the excuse she made about being too busy to call, they were both interrupted by Jack's reappearance.

"You can get away now, no point in you freezing your arse off out here," she told him, a patronizing tone to her voice. He held back a glare; who did she think she was? Just because she was with Torchwood didn't mean she could talk down to him now.

"Boss of me, now, are you?" he muttered derisively. She looked at him, an almost triumphant gleam in her eye, before walking past him silently. He watched her go, wishing she would fall down the stairs or something. Just enough to hurt.

Pushing away from the railing, he pulled out his phone to text Ianto. He needed answers, and he wasn't going to get them anywhere else.

.-.-.

"It's… a long story," Ianto said, his phone on loudspeaker so he could type with both hands.

"You're telling me it is. You know what she's like, how could you let Jack hire her?" Andy's voice replied indignantly, slightly tinny through the phone's small speakers.

"I didn't really have a choice. She found out too much, we couldn't do anything but hire her. None of us like it, but… we're hoping we'll be able to make her at least a halfway decent operative," he told his friend, his voice making it clear exactly how likely he thought that was. Andy snorted.

"Good luck with that, I've been trying for years, mate. I take it Rhys doesn't know?"

"If he does, he's not said anything to me about it. I doubt it, though; can you really see Gwen telling Rhys her big important secret? Probably fobbed him off with the same Special Ops bullshit she fed you," Ianto muttered his brow furrowing as he searched through records, trying to find anything that might connect to their mysterious cloud of gas. "I'll call him later and ask; it's only fair he knows what she's gotten herself into. God, how does he bear living with her? I'm in the same room with her for five minutes and I want to shoot her. Of course, her going after Jack doesn't help much," he added distastefully.

"She what?" Andy asked, shocked, and Ianto hummed.

"Yeah, she's been eyeing him up since she got here. She knows I'm with him, and I told her it wasn't going to happen, but she's as good as told me she's trying to take him away from me. Why the hell does Rhys stay with her?" he bemoaned, his mouth forming an unconscious frown at the thought of Gwen anywhere near his Jack.

"Fuck… you have to tell him, Ianto. I can't see Jack actually sleeping with her – the man's bloody besotted with you – but Rhys deserves to know his girlfriend isn't planning on being faithful. Makes me wonder if she's cheated before," Andy mused. Ianto made a noise of agreement, slightly happier at Andy's remark that Jack was besotted. It was nice to know other people thought so, that he wasn't just imagining things to save his own feelings.

"I know. How am I going to break it to him? He's blind when it comes to her." Frowning to himself, he looked up as the computer bleeped. "I've got to go, Andy. I'll call you later."

"See you, mate. Good luck dealing with Gwen." Hanging up on Andy, Ianto grimaced. He'd need all the luck he could get.

.-.-.

Ianto was just finishing compiling the data Tosh had emailed him when the alarms blared, the cog door rolling back. "That CCTV is really something isn't it?" he remarked wryly, earning a half-grin from Jack.

"All the aliens I've slept with over the years, not one of them has been able to do that. How's it going?" he queried, standing behind Ianto's chair and tilting the Welshman's head back, leaning over him in a gentle upside-down kiss. Seeing Gwen glaring out of the corner of his eye, Ianto kissed back eagerly, bringing up the files.

"Mm, not bad. I guess we're pulling an all-nighter, then?" he asked resignedly, earning an apologetic nod.

"Afraid so. We need to sort this out before she kills again. Don't suppose you could work a little coffee magic?" Jack questioned hopefully, a small grin tugging at his lips. Ianto rolled his eyes bemusedly, but nodded, getting to his feet.

"There's a few things you might want to look at, I did a couple of searches with the data Tosh had." Jack nodded, trailing a hand up Ianto's arm as the younger man headed for the coffee machine. Owen had set himself up in the autopsy room, and Tosh was typing a mile a minute at her own computer, leaving Gwen stood in the middle of the room looking awkward, unsure of what to do. Sending her a polite, cool smile as he passed, his eyes just warning her to try anything with Jack, he smirked to himself. Yeah, Jack wouldn't be going anywhere.

.-.-.

When he returned, a tray of coffee in his hand, Jack was plotting trajectories on the glass orbit diagram, Gwen watching him curiously, her eyes on his arse more than the diagram. "So what's this supposed to do?" she asked, hoping to draw Jack's attention to her. He didn't even look her way, focused on his task.

"I'm using satellite tracking data to determine the inward trajectory of the meteorite," he explained. Gwen stared at him blankly.

"He means he's trying to find out where it's come from," Tosh supplied from where she was running scans.

"Hey, sometimes a little techno-babble is good for the soul," Jack joked with a half-smile. Ianto smiled, setting the tray down on the table.

"Not when the person you're babbling at has no idea what you're talking about, Jack," Ianto cut in, and Jack rolled his eyes at him, grinning fondly.

"Ooh, you angel," he moaned appreciatively, one arm sliding around Ianto's waist as the other took his coffee mug. Ianto leant into the embrace, his own arm looping loosely around his lover's hips.

"So this is like a route planner?" Gwen blurted, leaning against the doorway, breaking the moment. Ianto already missed the days when he and Jack could work together without being interrupted. Tosh and Owen knew when to give them their space.

"Not far off," Tosh agreed, passing a paper to Owen. Reluctantly removing his arm from Ianto's waist to carry on scanning the diagram for calculations, Ianto wrapped both his arms around Jack, leaning his head against the crook of his lover's neck. He was tired already, and they'd barely even started.

"Rhys, my boyfriend, he's a transport manager. He does this sort of stuff. On a slightly smaller scale, though," Gwen mused. Tosh looked at her in surprise.

"You have a boyfriend?" she asked. Ianto snorted into Jack's neck, at both Tosh's response and the fact that Gwen was admitting to having a boyfriend. Did she think the fact that they would both be cheating make Jack want her more?

"Yeah. Have you?" Gwen asked a grin on her face. Tosh smiled at her, as if she was missing a private joke.

"Don't have time with this job," she replied knowingly. Gwen looked around, eyes landing on Owen.

"What about you, you seeing anyone?" she asked. Owen looked at her like she was crazy.

"You've gotta be joking! I can get all the grief I need here," he replied, laughing it off. Jack knew relationships were, and probably always would be, a sore spot for Owen, ever since Katie. Gwen looked from Tosh, to Owen, to Jack and Ianto.

"None of you have partners?" she asked, taken aback. Ianto rolled his eyes.

"Well, Jack and Ianto have each other, obviously. It's hard to connect with someone when you have to keep a big secret like Torchwood from them," Tosh told her, the look on her face saying that she didn't expect Gwen's boyfriend to stick around because of this reason. Ianto hoped that would be the case.

"I'm lucky to have someone who already knows what I do," Jack told her with a smile, turning his head to kiss Ianto's temple. "No secrets." Ianto watched Gwen's scowl, squeezing briefly around Jack's stomach. He knew exactly what his lover was doing, and oh, he loved it when Jack got devious.

.-.-.

"Ianto, we've got her. Prepare a cell," Jack's voice came over the comm., breaking Ianto's musings as he waited for a search to finish on the database.

"As far from the weevils as possible?" he presumed, turning to the stairs down to the cells.

"Please. We'll be there in ten minutes," Jack answered.

"Yes, sir," Ianto replied, knowing Jack loved it when he called him sir. Passing Janet, who was the only weevil, kept in the first-level cells – the rest were stored in the far more extensive lower levels or in cryo-chambers – he chose the furthest cell and gave it a glance over, checking it was clean. He cleaned the cells every week, but sometimes Owen left experiments to age in there and didn't tell him. Thankfully, this one was spotless, so Ianto punched in the code to activate its scanning sequences, and headed back up to the main Hub to wait.

He wasn't waiting long, and he was surprised at how young the girl, Carys, looked. Yes, he knew she was only twenty-two, but… she looked so much younger, so scared, he felt sorry for her. She hadn't asked for any of this. "Cell seven is ready for her," he murmured into Jack's ear as he passed, earning a nod from the other man. Deciding to busy himself in the archives until he was needed once more, he stopped at row 'Se-Sh', browsing the shelves to make sure everything was in place. Regardless of how many times he told Jack to leave filing artifacts to him, the older man always thought he was 'helping' by putting some away himself. Usually in the wrong position. Bless him for trying, though.

Hearing footsteps echoing around the walls, he turned, surprised to see Jack approaching behind him. "Tosh said you were down here," the immortal man said by way of greeting, leaning up against the shelves.

"Did you need me for something?" he asked curiously, unable to see any other reason Jack would wander into the archives empty-handed.

"No, just wanted to talk to you. Haven't had much of a chance to do that today," Jack replied softly.

"We've been busy, it's understandable," Ianto murmured distractedly, shifting two files around.

"Ianto, are you mad at me?" Jack asked tentatively. Ianto looked up.

"What? Oh, Jack, no, of course I'm not. It's just; these last few days have been pretty hectic, what with Suzie, and Gwen. I'm just a little short tempered. I'm sorry," he said sincerely, hoping Jack wouldn't ask him to elaborate on the many ways he'd like to kill Gwen Cooper. Jack smiled at him.

"It's okay. I was just worried I'd done something to upset you," he admitted. Ianto chuckled, holding out his arms to bring Jack into a loose hug.

"You haven't done anything, I promise. It's just Gwen bloody Cooper getting on my nerves; she's barely taken her eyes off you since she got here," he growled. Jack frowned, pressing his lips to his lover's.

"I thought I told you not to be jealous? I'm not interested in girls like her, regardless of how much she throws herself at me. Besides, I'd never leave you, you know that," he insisted, earnest blue eyes meeting Ianto's own. Ianto sighed, leaning his head on Jack's shoulder.

"I know, I just… I don't like the way she looks at you. I can't help it," he murmured. He felt Jack's lips press to his hair, and inhaled deeply, loving the 51st century pheromones that overwhelmed his senses.

"I know. But I promise the only eyes on me I care about are yours."

.-.-.

It was almost half an hour before the two surfaced, finding Tosh at her station. Jack wandered up behind her, Ianto pressing a kiss to his cheek before heading off to his own work station. "Found anything?" Jack asked, but she shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Jack, but it takes time," she said, upset at not being able to get the answers she needed. He squeezed her shoulder comfortingly.

"Hey, don't work yourself too hard," he reminded her. She smiled at him, but they were interrupted by Owen.

"Oi, you lot! Treat!" he called. They walked over to see the CCTV of Carys' cell up on the screen, and two sets of eyebrows rose. Gwen had Carys up against a wall and was kissing her passionately.

"Wow," Jack murmured softly, grinning to himself.

"Thought she said she had a boyfriend," Owen pointed out.

"You people and your quaint little categories," Jack said amusedly.

"We should really get her out of there," Tosh breathed, eyes transfixed on the screen.

"Yeah," Jack agreed, then snapped back to reality. "I mean, yeah, come on," he said, dashing off towards the cells, followed by Tosh. They came down the stairs as fast as they could, but by the time they got there; Gwen was already out of the cell and looking like nothing had happened, talking on her phone. She gave them a thumbs up and Jack let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, going back up the stairs with Tosh to see Owen leaning on the railing. "She's fine, she got out on her own," Jack assured him, and he could have sworn he saw Owen's face fall slightly.

"Damn, I was hoping for a bit more than that," he said disappointedly, and Jack chuckled.

"You need a life," he joked.

"We all need lives, Harkness. Not going to happen while the rift is still active," Owen retorted, and Jack had to give him that one. He went off to see if Tosh's computers came back with anything, and vaguely heard Owen taunting Gwen, then a scuffling sound. He looked over to see Gwen pinning Owen up against the wall by his throat. He tapped Tosh on the shoulder and pointed over at the pair, grinning.

"Looks like she's got a bit of fight in her," he remarked. Tosh nodded.

"How long do you want to bet before they start shagging?" she asked. Jack looked at her.

"You don't think? Owen and Gwen? But I thought… never mind. I don't know," he replied. He'd been about to say that he thought Gwen A) had a boyfriend, B) was completely pissed at Owen and C) according to Ianto fancied him, but then decided against it. He realized Gwen was actually putting pressure on Owen, and realized he had best go separate them. He walked up to them and stood there, looking at Gwen. "You know, strictly speaking, throttling the staff is my job," he said to her. She stared Owen down hard for a few moments, before jerking her hands away from him.

"So, who's for Chinese?" Ianto's voice called as he came down from the tourist office with his arms full of brown paper bags. Jack grinned; Ianto seemed to have a sixth sense for telling when people were hungry. He jogged over to meet Ianto, taking some of the bags off him with a kiss.

"Perfect timing, you wonderful man. I'm starved," he praised, taking the food over to their 'dining table' and setting it down, taking everything out of the bags as Owen, Tosh and Gwen gathered round and sat down. They dished out the food and started to eat.

"So, what's it like here? I hope not all the aliens are sex-crazed maniacs," Gwen said, taking a forkful of sweet and sour chicken. Jack swallowed his special fried rice.

"Oh, no. We get all kinds of crazy stuff around here. Ianto, pass me your balls," he asked with a wink, and Ianto looked at him for a moment, before realizing Jack was talking about the prawn balls by his left hand. He rolled his eyes and passed them to Jack, who grinned. "Thank you. I was gonna reach over and grab them myself, but I didn't want another lecture about harassment," he explained cheekily, and Owen snickered.

"I'm sure Teaboy wouldn't mind you grabbing his balls, Jack," he ribbed, and Gwen nearly choked on her Chow Mein. Ianto shot Owen a deadpanned look, and Jack turned back to Gwen.

"Anyway, before I got distracted by Ianto's balls, which are delicious by the way," he added, chewing on one of the prawn balls with a leer at Ianto. "What's it like at Torchwood. Well, there was this one time, we had to track down this woman who'd married an alien," he remembered.

"Oh yeah, I remember that!" Owen exclaimed.

"You're serious?" Gwen asked, looking at them. Jack nodded, swallowing.

"Yup. We got to them, and he was sat in the chair, reading the paper, as normal as you please, until we disabled the illusion he was wearing. Turned out he was a dark blue, scaly, tentacled beaver thing. Or course, the wife faints in shock, and when we revived her, she says, she said, 'if I'd known what he was, I never would have married him'," He exclaimed, laughing and nearly choking on his food.

"She knew. She knew all along," Tosh said, emphasizing her words by pointing her chopsticks.

"She didn't care," Owen agreed.

"Until he started leaving black piles of mucus in the bathtub," Ianto finished, and they all started laughing, Jack making a sound of disgust.

"Always a big giveaway. Aliens have no sense of household hygiene," he said, taking a gulp of his water. "Which reminds me," he added, slapping his hands down on the table and standing up. "Gotta pee." He walked off, and Owen and Tosh immediately turned to Gwen.

"So, what's he told you?" Owen asked.

"What about?" Gwen asked, confused.

"Himself," Tosh said, as if it was obvious. Ianto groaned.

"Don't start that again," he moaned. Owen and Tosh promptly ignored him.

"You've been here longer than I have," Gwen replied.

"We were banking on you," Tosh told her.

"You're a copper, you're trained to ask questions," Owen added.

"You don't know anything?" Gwen asked, and the two of them shook their heads.

"Us two don't, but Ianto over there knows everything. Won't tell us, of course, bastard. We don't know anything. Not who he is, where he's from, nothing. Except that he's gay, obviously," Owen told her. Gwen raised her eyebrows.

"He could be bi, you know," she replied, awfully quickly. Ianto rolled his eyes discreetly, wondering how long it would take before she gave up.

"Nah, definitely gay. Only had eyes for Ianto, ever since the bloke joined this team," Owen said with a smirk, and Ianto barely restrained himself from smiling, making a mental note to buy Owen a beer later. Of course that wasn't true; Ianto knew Owen knew Jack was interested in women, too, but that would only fuel Gwen's fire.

"What?" she asked and Ianto smiled wryly.

"Thanks, Owen. And for the record, he's not gay. He's for lack of a better word, omnisexual. Man, woman, alien, doesn't matter. Well, it does matter now, because if he's screwing around behind my back, I'll kick his arse," he added, and Tosh rolled her eyes.

"You know he's not, Yan, he's totally devoted to you," she told him matter-of-factly, and Owen nodded.

"He is its sickening. Besides, even if he wasn't dating the Teaboy, period military is not the dress code of a straight man," he said derisively, and Ianto grinned.

"I don't know, I think it suits him. Sort of classic," Gwen reasoned with a dreamy look, and Ianto barely managed to withhold a snort. "We know he's from America, right?" she asked, not looking at Ianto

"We don't even know that for sure," Owen replied.

"No US citizen by the name of Jack Harkness born in the last 50 years," Tosh revealed. Ianto stifled a snort. Forget the last 50 years; try 3000 or so years in the future. He may not know much about Jack's past, but he knew the basics. After all, Jack had lived for over a century, he couldn't tell Ianto everything he'd been up to.

"Maybe his identity is classified," Gwen suggested.

"Just leave off, they're his secrets, he doesn't have to tell you," Ianto reminded them a little sharply.

"He must have his reasons, for wanting to keep things secret," Gwen said, and Ianto smirked behind his chopsticks. Not the reasons you'd imagine, he thought.

"Sure he has. Doesn't stop me from wanting to know what they are," Owen retorted, playing with his beer bottle in his hands. Gwen took a bite of a prawn cracker, then stopped.

"What's that sound?" she asked. Ianto listened closely, and was sure he heard faint sobbing. Owen reached over to grab the remote, and changed the screen to show the CCTV of Carys' cell. She was sat on the stone bench, head on her knees, crying. Jack came back in, slipping into his seat, and Gwen stood, turning to them all. "What are we doing having Chinese while a girl fights for her life?" she asked. Jack looked at her.

"Actually, while we've been eating, the computers have been running a full bio-scan on Cary. Profiling her blood, metabolism, organs, skin, the works. So we can see the effect the alien's having on her. They've also been taking samples of the air in the cell, so we can analyze and changes in the environment around her." He looked up at her, shrugging his shoulders. "Now, is that not enough? Do you want more? 'Cause, it gets kinda boring," he told her. She smiled at him with what looked suspiciously like pity.

"You've been hidden down here too long. Spending so much time with the alien stuff, you've lost what it means to be human," she said to him. Jack raised an eyebrow. That was a little harsh.

"So remind us. Tell me what it means to be human in the 21st century," he challenged. Gwen stared back evenly.

"Alright," she agreed, turning on her heel and walking off to her station. Jack shared a look with the others.

"Well, that was...unexpected," he said, after a long pause. Owen finished his food, then stood up.

"Right, while she does her touchy feely crap, I'm going to go do something useful. I'll give you a shout when I find something we can use."

.-.-.

As it happened, it was Tosh who found something first. Owen was still trying to put together a composition of the gas that would explain what it was, and from what Ianto saw, Gwen was printing out every scrap of information about Carys' life ever and blu-tacking it to the wall. Great, but what the hell did it matter that she had swimming badges and fancied Heath Ledger? She wasn't likely to find him wandering around Cardiff, and swimming would only come in useful if she fell in the bay! Still, it kept her occupied and out of the way, so none of them argued.

"You should take a look at this!"

.-.-.

Hearing a loud crash, followed by low murmurs that he recognized as Jack's voice, Ianto warily stood from his chair, grabbing his gun and stepping cautiously into the tourist office. He found Jack there, gun aimed at Carys, who was holding Jack's hand-in-a-jar like a hostage. Ianto winced; that hand was more important to Jack than anything he owned, it was his only hope of finding his Doctor. "Need any help, Jack?" he asked evenly, but Jack shook his head slightly.

"Appreciate the offer, just open the door," he said, holstering his gun. Ianto nodded and, without making any sudden movements, reached for the button that opened that door. Jack held his hands out. "Now give me the jar," he said calmly. Carys looked from him to the door and back again, then threw the jar over the counter and made a break for it. "No!" Jack cried as the jar hit the floor with a loud smash. He ignored that Carys had escaped, vaulting over the counter to see the hand writhing feebly in a pool of liquid and broken glass. He heard running footsteps as Tosh and Gwen came in, and they took one look at Jack, cradling the hand in his own, and ran out, attempting to search for Carys. Ianto placed a hand on Jack's shoulder, and his lover looked up at him, a torn expression on his face.

"I'll go get another jar," Ianto said softly, and Jack smiled thankfully at the only other person who knew exactly whose hand it was and why it meant so much to Jack. Ianto came back a minute later with a new jar of bubbling liquid, and Jack eased the hand inside. The girls came back in, slightly out of breath, and Jack wordlessly went back through the corridor, into the lift, followed by them. Ianto stayed back to clean up the mess. When they got to The Hub, Jack put the hand in its rightful place, and Gwen looked at him, arms folded over her chest.

"After all I said, a severed hand is more important to you than Carys' life," she said, raising an eyebrow, and Jack resisted the urge to point out that she'd been here a day, and not to question him. She didn't understand that it wasn't just some random hand Jack liked to keep in a jar. That would be creepy.

"Yes. Now, you want to prove yourself? Find her."

.-.-.

"You need an extra body going to find Carys?" Ianto offered as Jack pulled his coat on. Jack shook his head.

"No way, you're staying here," he declared firmly. Gwen smirked smugly, and Ianto shot her a dark look.

"Why? I'm perfectly capable," he argued, but Jack cut him off.

"I know you're capable, you're more than capable," he said, and Gwen's smirk faltered. "But you saw Tosh's scans; her pheromones are through the roof. I'm not taking that risk with you." Ianto raised an eyebrow.

"What, you think she'll shag me to death?"

"Yes! There's no going against the pheromones once you get a hint of them, you won't be able to resist. I don't want to lose you to some sex-crazed alien gas," Jack insisted, raising his voice, eyes begging Ianto to do as he was told.

"Oi, what about me?" Owen protested indignantly, and Jack spared him a glance.

"I'm not dating you," he said by way of explanation. "Please, Ianto," he added in a quieter tone, cupping his lover's cheek. "Just stay here, for me?" Sighing, Ianto nodded; how could he resist when Jack gave him the puppy-eyes?

"Fine. You be careful, too. I don't know if you can heal from that, and I don't want to find out," he remarked. Jack chuckled, kissing him chastely.

"I'll be careful, promise."

.-.-.

Jack let out a sigh of relief, watching the gas fold in on itself and die inside the prison, falling as a pile of pink ash with a low moan. Kneeling down, he scraped his hand through the ash, letting it fall through his fingers. "Travel halfway across the universe for the greatest sex… still end up dying alone," he mused sadly, glancing back up at Gwen. Part of him had wanted the gas to inhabit her, to put her through the struggle Carys had gone through. Maybe that would teach her to be a little more careful next time.

Gwen stared at him, giving him obvious doe-eyes, and leaned forward, puckering her lips. Catching her intentions a split second before her lips hit his; he jumped back, pushing her away by the shoulders. "What the hell?" he asked angrily and she blushed.

"I… I just wanted to say thank you," she murmured, giving him an imploring look. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"And you couldn't have done that without kissing me?" he retorted.

"She what? Oh, I am so putting a weevil in her bathroom," Ianto's angry mutter sounded in Jack's ear through his comm. He grimaced, standing and turning away from Gwen, looking to Tosh and Owen, who were glaring at the ex-policewoman. Yeah, she was so dead.

.-.-.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" Ianto demanded as soon as Gwen stepped through the door, his expression furious.

"Excuse me?" she asked, trying to act innocent. Ianto glared at her.

"Kissing Jack! I told you to back off, he's not interested!"

"I didn't kiss him!" she protested, and Jack scoffed.

"Only because I pushed you away before you could. Ianto's right, Gwen. I'm not interested, and you need to learn that before you really piss someone off. I'm sure your boyfriend won't appreciate you going after another man behind his back, and I know I don't appreciate you trying to kiss me when I already have a boyfriend!" he told her sharply. Gwen's expression faltered, as if she'd expected Jack to defend her, and Ianto sighed.

"I'll let you off this time, because you're new. But I swear, if I catch you trying it on with him one more time, I'll retcon you back to infancy," he told her, his voice deadly serious. Gwen turned to Jack, an indignant look on her face.

"Jack, you can't let him do that! He's threatening me!" she exclaimed. Jack merely raised a cool eyebrow at her.

"I know exactly what he's doing, Gwen. I'll be the one giving him the retcon to do it with. Go home, Gwen. See your boyfriend, try and remember why you love him, go back to your normal life. Don't try and become like us, you're too fragile for Torchwood. Keep your life in the outside world, because with the attitude you have, you won't survive in ours without it. Go home, and I will see you for work tomorrow." His tone left no argument, and he glared heatedly at her, leaving her no choice but to grab her bag and leave, looking like she might burst into tears. When she was gone, Jack moved to Ianto's side, kissing his forehead softly. "I never would have let her kiss me."

Ianto wrapped his arm around Jack's waist, leaning into his side. "I know, Jack."

"God, she's thick! Can we not just retcon her anyway, save the hassle of trying to train her?" Owen asked, and Jack snorted.

"Unfortunately, no. As much as I hate to admit it, we need her on the team; we're small enough as it is. More people means more off hours for all of us and more people to go after aliens. I don't want any of you dying because we're shorthanded," he explained. Ianto rolled his eyes.

"Like she's going to be much help in a life or death situation. She'd probably shoot us herself by accident," he muttered. Even Tosh couldn't stifle her giggle, and Jack smiled.

"I'll have to take her down to the firing range sometime." It didn't sound like he was particularly thrilled to do so, and he squeezed Ianto around the waist. "Now, its nine thirty, and none of us have slept in two days. Get some rest, I'll see you in the morning," he said, prompting Tosh and Owen to gather their things. Meeting Ianto's eyes, he brushed their lips together. "Just let me grab some things and we can head home," he murmured quietly, his hand carding through Ianto's dark hair.

"I'll wait here," Ianto assured with a fond smile, watching Jack as he jogged up to his office. Nodding to Owen and Tosh as they left, he pulled his phone from his pocket, a slight frown on his face. He couldn't call Rhys now; Gwen would be home soon. Opening up a text window instead, he typed out a quick message.

'Meet me tomorrow at 1 in the pub, need to talk to you.'

Slipping his phone back in his pocket, he waited for Jack to return, sliding his hand into the other man's when he did. "Oh, God, I'll be glad to get to bed. It's been a long two days," he murmured, the tiredness setting in now that everything was over and he could relax. Jack's arm snaked around him, letting him lean tiredly into his lover as they headed for Ianto's car.

"Yeah, you need sleep. Come on, I'll drive." Taking the keys, Jack climbed into the car after practically pouring Ianto into the passenger seat. Reaching over to rest a hand on his lover's thigh, Jack pulled out of the car park, wanting nothing more than to curl up with his Welshman and rest. He was really starting to regret hiring Gwen Cooper.