A/N: So when talking with a friend, the subject of romance somehow turned into the subject of yaoi/yuri. I've been trying to develop a good romance fic, but can't seem to find the right music for it, seeing as basically everything I write is music-driven. I told my friend that I could probably write a pretty good yaoi if given the right song to work with. She gave me Right Said Fred - I'm Too Sexy. And this happened.

When Ash throws the first punch, imagine I'm Too Sexy playing in the background.

Edit 2/21: Alright, so apparently I've still got new people reading this story every day as I get emails about people adding it all the time. First off, I want to say thank you so much to everyone who takes the time to do so. It really warms my heart to know that people are enjoying something I made. I would also like to take this opportunity to toot my own horn and advertise the real reason I ever joined FanFiction, and that's the big one in my profile, The End of All Battles. I know you guys are looking for some hot yaoi action (lulz), but if you ever feel like reading something a bit more on the serious and adventurous side, please take a look at it. I'd really appreciate it. Thanks. =]

After an embarrassing defeat in the Indigo Plateau, Ash sits at home in Pallet, defeated and belittled. It's been less than a week since the competition and Ash is almost ready to set off for Johto.

That's when the knock at the door came. Ash's mom was out, so he wasn't sure who would be visiting, or why. When he opened the door he fought a very powerful urge to simply shut it again. Not that he had much time to as Gary Oak let himself in almost as soon as Ash opened the door.

"Hey there, Ashy Boy," Gary says with a grin, "where's your mom? I've got something for her from my grandpa."

"She's not here. Give it to me and I'll give it to her." Ash made a swipe for the package Gary was holding but missed as Gary yanked it away.

"Nah-ah-ah, specific orders to hand-deliver it. Supposed to be pretty important." Gary held the box on his side. "So, what are you doing with your time these days?"

"For your information, I'm getting ready to head to the Johto region!" Ash claimed, "There's a whole bunch of pokemon there you can't get here in Kanto!"

"You mean like this one:" Gary said, pulling a pokeball off of his belt. He activated it and threw it, releasing a sentret. "New badges too, see?" Gary held out a case with a Zephyr badge in it.

Ash began fuming with anger, once again beaten by Gary Oak, the boy who had been his rival since the time they had met so many years ago. He wanted to say something, but didn't have anything to say.

Gary chuckled, "Still two steps behind, eh, Ashy Boy?"

Ash snapped at hearing his childhood nickname again, throwing a left hook toward Gary's face. To his surprise, Gary caught it in his right hand and just smirked. Ash tried to follow with a right, which Gary also caught, dropping the package for Delia. Before Ash can do anything, Gary twirls him around and holds his arms across his chest, holding him from the back.

He leans in close and whispers, "What's the matter?" Ash can feel his warm breath tickling his ear. "Don't you like your name, Aaashy Boy?" Gary leans even closer and gives Ash's ear a small nibble, causing a stir in Ash's crotch he hadn't felt before.

Remembering the situation he was in, Ash used all of his might to lean forward and throw Gary over his shoulder and onto the couch where he landed in a sitting position. Without missing a beat Ash grabs a nearby vase and attempts to smash it over Gary's head. Gary reaches a hand up and stops the attack mid-swing making Ash stumble forward from the weight he had thrown into it. He falls over the edge of the seat a bit before catching himself, dropping the vase and ending up face to face with Gary.

"That the best you got?" Gary asks. He blows Ash a kiss, catching him off guard once again, giving Gary the opportunity to heave him over the couch and through the table in the center of the room.

Ash slowly climbs out of the rubble of broken wood and stands facing Gary who had since gotten up from the couch. The two of them met in the middle, throwing punches and elbows left and right while dodging everything thrown at them. The result was a sort of dance that led the two out of the living room and into the kitchen.

Ash fakes a punch and delivers a kick to Gary's stomach that sends him stumbling back into the refrigerator. He tries to follow up with a haymaker, but Gary ducks out of the way, leaving Ash's fist to meet the hard surface of the refrigerator.

While Ash is writhing in pain, Gary sneaks behind him and puts him in a full nelson. He leans in closer and licks Ash's cheek long and hard. Once again Ash finds himself enjoying it in ways he had never experience before. Gary cranes Ash's arms behind him, causing him to lean forward, and delivers a kick that sends Ash across the room and onto the ground.

"Come on, Ashy Baby, you can do better than that," Gary said as Ash recovered. Ash looked up to see Gary give him a wink and walk around the corner back into the living room. Without thinking he rushes around the corner to give chase, only to be cut short as Gary's leg appears from behind the wall and trips him. Ash falls to the ground on his back with his arms spread wide.

Gary seizes the opportunity and hops over the boy with one foot on each side and kneels in front of him. "You're making this too easy for me," Gary says. Just as Ash is about to retaliate Gary grabs him by the collar and shoves his lips onto Ash's. For a moment the two of them forget the fight and accept this hot and heavy position they find themselves in.

Gary pulls back and looks down at Ash, giving him his oh-so-familiar smirk. Ash pulls a knee up and it connects with Gary's back. Gary stumbles forward before crashing into the remains of the table. He stands and turns, facing Ash once again. Their clothes are ripped, they're both bleeding and sweaty, and they're both breathing heavily.

Gary looks down and scoffs, "What a son you are. You're mom's out for one day and you destroy the house," he looks back up at Ash, "Can you do anything right?"

Ash charges forward blindly, hoping simply to connect with Gary and send him flying. Gary jumps out of the way and takes a few steps up the stairs.

"Too slow again," Gary taunts, "Always two steps behind." He takes a few more steps up the stairs and out of sight before Ash follows, carefully this time. He peers up and doesn't see any sign of Gary. He walks up slowly, hopefully ready for anything.

When he reaches the top he's slammed into the wall by Gary, who pins his arms out as his sides. Before he knows it the two of them are kissing again. The stir in his crotch grows into an itch as he tastes Gary's sweat and tongue. He spins Gary around against the wall, pressing their foreheads together and breathing heavily. He rips Gary's already-torn shirt down the middle and runs his hands up his chest and around his neck, pulling him into another kiss.

Gary spins the embrace around once more, picking Ash's legs up and holding the two of them together. He carries him into the room, their lips never breaking contact, and shuts the door behind him.