Title: Last Chance

Pairing: Greg/Nick

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: ~4300

Summary: What will it take for Greg to reach his limit - or for Nick to free himself from the chains of his fear? (AU) Genre: Angst, Romance

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Just for fun.

AN: I've been sitting on this start of a chaptered story for over a year (this is only one of 20 that I've yet to finish!) - so I am just going to throw it out there and see what happens. I made a couple of adjustments so it could read as a one-shot. It seems so cliche' to me so I wasn't going to share it - but what the hell. Some of us can't seem to get enough of this particular over-done NG formula! (Apparently I can't!) So - if you want more from this particular universe, you'll have to let me know. I've got lots of ways to mess with the boys before the usual happy ending. But for now - unless I hear from you that you can tolerate more of this remix of the same old thing - consider this as just me feeding my angst addiction. ;o)

Greg's POV:

Greg opened his eyes only to slam them shut again when the harsh light of the emergency room hit his retinas. He felt as if every bone and muscle in his body had been slammed with a sledge hammer - hell - he thought he may have discovered new parts of himself through the intense pain. His last thought before he dived into the relief of unconsciousness was: How the hell did I end up back here - again?

Greg cautiously opened his eyes again, thinking he would be assaulted by bright lights. Instead, he found himself in a dimly lit hospital room with the distinct sounds of beeping and whirring that he had appreciated so much after Nick had been pulled up from the grave. He remembered thinking that the sounds of machinery meant Nick was alive - and he was grateful. Greg closed his eyes - he felt so tired.

Sara sat in a chair next to his bed when he opened his eyes the next time. She was reading a book with one hand on his arm. Greg loved that Sara, his best friend, was with him. He was also sad that it wasn't Nick - sad but not surprised. It was never Nick.

Sara filled him in on the details he couldn't remember. The van that slammed into him was driven by the father of a young girl who had been murdered the previous year. Apparently, the alleged perpetrator was acquitted due to a lack of evidence. Father blamed the investigators - Greg was the unlucky CSI who happened to walk into the parking lot at the exact moment Father plowed through looking for a target wearing a CSI vest. The minivan was traveling at a rate of speed estimated to be between 35-45 mph when it impacted with Greg's body. The force of the impact threw Greg 10 feet - until he was stopped by the brick wall of the lab. As Greg lay slumped against the building, Father backed up, slamming into several parked cars, and once he had backed out of the parking lot entrance and into the street, he slammed his foot on the gas and raced toward Greg's battered body. It was Father's intention to crush Greg like a bug, and he would have had it not been for the big, black truck that crossed in front of the speeding van, taking the hit before Greg could be harmed any further.

Greg knew without being told that the big, black truck belonged to Nick. Nick had sacrificed his beloved F-150 to save Greg. Somehow, that didn't make Greg feel any better because what he needed was to have Nick sitting here - touching his hair. But, Greg knew Nick wouldn't come. Greg knew that he would not see Nick until Nick felt that no one would be around to witness it.

Nick had become good at hiding his feelings - if in-fact he had feelings - for Greg. Remarkably - after nearly 7 years together - no one knew. They had never spent a holiday together. Ever. Not even Valentine's Day. One year Greg had begged - literally - for Nick to stay with him for Christmas. He told Nick that he would sacrifice the holiday with his family if Nick would do the same. Greg cried, fell to his knees, gripped Nick's hands and pleaded for Nick NOT to walk out the door and fly away from him. Nick pulled his hands from Greg's grip, told him to stop being so ridiculous, and walked away for a week in Texas. Greg noticed a small wrapped present under the tree two days later - from Nick - it was a Marilyn Manson CD - he already had that one.

The first time Greg landed in the hospital he had been fired through the glass wall of the lab like a canon ball. The searing pain in his back and neck was excruciating - he thought he had never felt anything so painful in his life. Of course, the heart wrenching pain he felt when Nick never showed up overshadowed all the burns and cuts, including the agonizing treatments and skin grafts. Greg's soul screamed for Nick, begged God to bring Nick to him. He needed Nick to hold him, to scare away the nightmares with his soothing Texan drawl. Only Nick could make Greg feel safe - but Nick never came. Sara drove Greg home and she and Warrick took turns staying with him for the first two weeks. Nick didn't answer his calls. It wasn't until Greg went back to work a month later that he saw Nick. Nick brought him some evidence to process, lingering his fingers on Greg's as he handed him the brown paper bag. Nick asked if he could come to Greg's place after work. Greg's mind screamed no - but his heart said yes. The moment Greg's apartment door closed behind them, Nick was on his knees - tears streaming down his face - begging for forgiveness. Nick said he was so scared that he would lose Greg - he wanted to be with Greg every second of every day - but he couldn't risk exposure. Nick swore he had suffered so much from the distance that he would never do it again - never sacrifice being together for the sake of the closet. He promised. Nick then pulled Greg to his knees and into a searing kiss that said that he meant it. They fucked right there on the floor in front of the door.

And Nick said that he loved him - for the first time in almost two years - Nick said; "I love you, Greg Sanders."

It was after they pulled Nick out of the ground that Greg had finally reached his limit. After years of coming second, third, or fourth on Nick's list of priorities - Greg gave up. It wasn't so much the trauma of almost losing him - that Greg could handle. As a matter of fact, it was exactly that near loss that caused Greg to ignore the rules of whatever it was they had together. He defiantly sat in Nick's hospital room - holding his hand - whispering the words that he himself needed to hear so desperately when he was laying in the same hospital a year earlier. When Nick woke from his medicated sleep, he looked at Greg with grateful, loving eyes before he told Greg that he needed to leave before his parents came back.

Greg was astonished by Nick's complete and utter lack of need. He realized in that moment - with his heart feeling heavy and achey - that Nick didn't love him in the same way that he loved Nick. It was this love - Greg's love - that kept him from abandoning Nick after he was released from the hospital. Greg knew that Nick would need him - so he decided he could break up with Nick later - after he had healed and the nightmares slowed down. As the days became weeks - Greg fell into a comfortable routine with Nick again. Soon - his will to free himself from the one-sided relationship with Nick didn't seem so important. So, Greg continued to keep his spare clothes and hair products neatly packed in a red roll-away at all times - ready to be grabbed on the way out of their home at a moment's notice for visiting parents or last minute guests. On so many occasions, Greg pulled himself out of bed - half asleep - when Nick called to warn him that Warrick or Archie were coming home with him after work for beer and video games - meaning get your ass out before we get there.

Those were the worst days. Not only was he forced out of the home he shared with Nick - but he missed so much time. He missed game nights and family breakfasts. His missed Nick. He also missed his stuff - all the comforts of home - music, books, a pantry sticked with Twinkies. The only thing in Greg's apartment was his old bed. They only kept the low rent cracker-box so Greg would have an address that wasn't the same as Nicks. It also came in handy when he wasn't allowed to show his face in his own home.

Which happened more than Greg liked to admit. It just felt too pathetic.

Greg almost ended it again after he was beaten nearly to death by a gang of masked thugs. Greg's heart shattered when Nick never showed up to see him. His psyche was as battered as his body and he knew he needed to get out of this thing with Nick or he would lose himself completely. Then Sara told him that Nick hit some jerk in the field. Nick was so upset about Greg that he lost control when some asshole started talking shit about him. Greg was weak and vulnerable and fell prey to the illusion that flying fists was Nick's way of being what Greg needed. Three weeks after Greg was discharged, when there was no chance of running into any of their shift-mates who had taken turns to check on Greg, Nick showed up at his door.

Greg let him in.

He pulled himself out of the rotating memories of the Disappearing-Nick-Stokes and looked at his friend. It was always her - Sara. It was her face he saw every time he found himself waking up in a hospital bed.

"So, how bad is Nick's truck?"

"Totaled." She gripped his hand tighter. "He said he's going for a hybrid next."

"You're shitting me." Greg chuckled.

"Well, a hybrid SUV - he's not downsizing much!" Sara mused.

"I guess I'm lucky he was in the lot, huh?"

"He wasn't. We heard the wheels squealing from the break room. When you hit the building, we knew something bad was happening. We all ran to check it out and when Nick saw you - well I've never seen anyone move so fast. I still don't know how he managed it." Sara held Greg's gaze.

"Where is he? Is he coming to visit?" Greg tried not to sound desperate.

"Yeah. I'm sure he is, Greg. He's getting checked out in the emergency room. He wouldn't let them get near him until he knew you were taken care of first, but I'm sure he'll get here as soon as he can."

Warrick quietly stepped into the room before Greg could say anything he would regret. "Hey, Greggo. You must be made of rubber, man. You're getting sprung from this joint in the morning."

"I'm being discharged in the morning?" Greg blurted out.

"Oh. Wow. That seems fast." Sara wasn't sure what Greg needed to hear from her.

"Could you do me a favor and let Nick know?" He asked Sara.

She was a little confused by the request. "Um...sure, Greg."

"Could you tell him that I'll be at home - and no one will be there - except me."

"Greg? What's this all about?" Sara asked.

"Just tell him - okay - tell him I'll be home alone."

"Okay - but Greg, you know I'll come stay with you, right?" Sara worried that Greg felt alone.

"I know, but I'll be fine." Greg squeezed her hand and smiled. "Just let Nick know where I am."

Nick's POV:

Nick's eyebrow was almost as numb as the rest of him as the doctor finished stitching the gash above it. He couldn't believe it was happening again. How many times were they going to go through this?

His whole world stopped spinning the second he walked through the double-door that led from the lab to the enormous staff parking lot behind it. There was only one way in and one way out and as Nick stepped down the two steps to the asphalt he watched a large van backing up fast as if trying to exit the lot backwards.

That's when he heard Sara screaming Greg's name. He spun around and saw his lover slumped against the concrete-brick wall of the lab. His bleeding head was hanging in front of his chest, arms and legs splayed at odd angles. His shirt was pulled halfway up his torso from the friction of sliding down the wall and Nick could already see dark bruises forming on his swelling abdomen.

He heard the shrieking of tires on asphalt and turned in time to see the van grinding to a stop as the insane-looking driver struggled to get his gearshift into the right gear to move forward again. Nick immediately knew what was about to happen and he started sprinting toward his truck before he had consciously made the decision. He was moving on pure adrenalin and would never be able to recall the details of the next 35 seconds.

The next thing he remembers is the sound of crunching metal and shattering glass as his driver's side door was obliterated by a speeding minivan. Before he blacked out completely, he looked out of the passenger window and saw Greg surrounded by the rest of the team. Sara was trying to stop the bleeding head wound and Grissom was screaming for someone to call 911. The last thought to go through Nick's fading consciousness was that if all of that was happening - Greg was still alive.

"Okay, Mr. Stokes. You're all set." The doctor patted his shoulder. "Keep your chest wrapped for a couple of day - they're not broken, but your ribs are definitely not in solid shape."

Nick's watery eyes looked dazed as he pulled himself out of his thoughts. "Thanks, Doc."

"You'll need to get that looked at next week by your regular doctor."

"Sure." Nick said quietly. "Do you know where they took CSI Sanders?"

"Yes." The doctor spoke sympathetically. "He's been admitted for observation. I have to say - we're all amazed. Not a single broken bone. No internal organ damage. His head wounds look nasty but his skull is intact and so far there is no brain swelling. If he gets through the night without incident he'll be released in the morning."

Nick practically sobbed with relief. His dark eyes welled and his voice shook as he spoke. "That's...good...that's really good."

It only took a few minutes to find Greg's room. Nick was intimately familiar with the layout of the hospital. Between his cases and his close calls, he had been here more often than he wanted to think about. It hit him hard in the gut when he thought about how many more times he would have been here had he ever set foot in the building when Greg was a patient.

This was the first time he had ever come for Greg, though.

Nick had always felt like it was a necessary sacrifice. He always assumed that Greg knew how he felt. He always insisted that he didn't need to be with him for Greg to know how much he loved him. He expected Greg to understand that eventually, Nick would show up - discreetly. No one had to know about them - it was an unnecessary risk. There was nothing worth taking that risk - no holiday, no injury, no close calls or bad days. Nothing.

But Nick had never been up close and personal to Greg's previous close calls. He didn't see Greg fly out of the glass walls of the lab. He didn't watch as a gang of angry kids beat him to within an inch of his life. By the time Nick came around to support his wounded lover - the worst of the bruises, swelling, abrasions, and burns were healing enough to look less scary - almost benign.

And when Nick was at his worst he always had lots of people around - family and friends who loved and cared for him. He didn't really need Greg until they were all gone or otherwise occupied. He never stopped to consider that Greg may have needed for Nick to need him. He never considered that Greg may have needed to be close - to see that Nick was alive - to touch him and hold him and breathe in his scent and know that they would wake up together the next day. He never thought about the fact that Greg had to watch the man he loved suffer in the green glow of a coffin buried somewhere where Greg couldn't reach him and probably needed to be with Nick way more than Nick ever imagined.

He got it now.

He watched as Greg's seemingly broken, lifeless body bled onto filthy concrete as a madman took aim at him in an attempt to finish him off. The images played over and over in his mind and now all he needed to do was find his love and hold him close - and never, ever let him go again.

When he got to Greg's room he heard voices through the cracked door.

"Could you do me a favor and let Nick know?"

"Um...sure, Greg."

"Could you tell him that I'll be at home - and no one will be there - except me."

"Greg? What's this all about?" Sara asked.

"Just tell him - okay - tell him I'll be home alone."

"Okay - but Greg, you know I'll come stay with you, right?" Sara said in a worried tone.

"I know, but I'll be fine." Greg sounded like he was trying to convince himself. "Just let Nick know where I am."

"That won't be necessary." Nick stepped through the door of Greg's room and was faced with a very shocked looking lover and the concerned faces of both Sara and Warrick. At first he thought they were concerned about him being there, but when he took a good look at Greg he understood.

Greg looked horrible. His hair was matted in several places with dried blood. The also had a couple of shaved spots where his head had been stitched back together. His face was almost one solid bruise, as was most of the exposed flesh that wasn't covered by the flimsy hospital gown.

Nick agreed with the doctor - it was a miracle.

"Hey Nick." Warrick greeted his friend. "You look no worse for the wear. I'm sure the ladies will just think that scar on your face makes you look dangerously sexy."

Sara smacked Warrick's chest with the back of her hand. "Not. Appropriate."

Nick didn't take his eyes from Greg. He acted like he didn't see or hear anyone else in the room. "I don't need to know where you'll be because I'm not letting you out of my sight."

"It's okay Nick, I can take care of Greg. You look like you're going to need some taking care of yourself." Sara said.

Nick stepped to Greg's bedside and sat next to the love of his life. When he responded to Sarah, he didn't take his eyes off of Greg. "No Sara. Greg and I will take care of each other." Nick gently took Greg's hand and kissed his fingers. "At home." He then touched Greg's face tenderly. "Our home."

"Nicky." Greg gasped.

"We're getting rid of that empty shoebox we call your apartment. You're coming home with me for Fourth of July. And when you go to your parent's 40th Wedding Anniversary, I'm taking three days off so I can go with you." Nick's eyes spilled over. "If you're okay with that."

Greg nodded. "I'm so okay with that."

"I've been reckless with you. I've taken you for granted." Nick confessed. "I've failed to show you how much I love you because I've been working so damn hard to hide it from everyone else. I've been foolish - because you're the only one who matters...you're the one I should be worried about. You deserve to know how much I love you - in my words and my deeds - every singe day. You deserve so much more than I've been willing to give. I've been scared of the wrong things, Greg - but the only thing I'm scared of now is losing you."

"Are you sure you don't have a head injury?" Greg smiled with so much fondness it took Nick's breath away.

"I just finally get it, Baby." Nick leaned into Greg's personal space to kiss him. "I love you so much and you've been so very, very patient with me. You should've dumped my ass years ago."

Sara and Warrick cleared their throats before standing. Sara spoke for both of them. "So...we're going to take off now. Um...let us know if you need any help tomorrow...guys...um...yeah...so..."

Warrick pulled Sara's arm to get her to shut up and leave. "Glad you're both okay - we'll see you tomorrow."

Nick could hear Sara ask Warrick, 'Years? Did you know?', before the closing door blocked the sound of their voices.

Nick spent a few minutes just looking at Greg. He took in every detail of his face. Beneath the fresh bruises were the remnants of the old ones. Greg's youthful face was never the same after the night he was attacked trying to save a man's life in an dirty alley. To anyone who didn't know better, it just looked like shadows - a trick of lighting. But those closest to the man knew where those shadows came from.

The other scars that marked Greg's survival were carried in places only Nick was privileged enough to see. The burn scars had created a map of textures and variegated flesh-tones that Nick honestly believed to be beautiful - even though Greg never believed him when he said it.

"What are you doing, Nick?" Greg broke the spell.

Nick cocked his head and reached to gently brush his fingers through Greg's matted hair. "Looking."

Greg's eyes filled the second Nick's fingers touched his hair. Nick thought his lover looked almost relieved to be touched.

"No. I mean what are you doing - here." Greg didn't seem mad - just confused. "Sara and Warrick..."

"Sara and Warrick now know what they should have known years ago." Nick interrupted. "Like I said - I've been a fool."

Greg shook his head. "If you've been a fool, then so have I."

"I agree." Nick traced the bruises on Greg's face with the tips of his fingers. "You should have left me. I can think of no less than 20 occasions you should have walked away. I want to talk about that - all the reasons you should have left and all the reasons you chose to stay instead. But right now I just want to lay here with you and hold you until we both fall asleep and tomorrow when we get home, I want to start making a few phone calls. It's time for me to tell my people to make room for one more. It time they knew I found love."

"I...I'm not sure how to process this, Nicky." Greg was nervously fidgeting with a string hanging off of his scratchy hospital blanket. "After almost seven years - all of a sudden...I mean how am I supposed to...take it all in?"

"We can talk about that, too." Nick moved himself to recline next to Greg's battered body in the small bed. "Is this okay."

Greg scooted a little to give Nick more room. "It's more than okay."

"Come here. I need to feel you close to me." Nick allowed Greg to settle next to him and when he was sure Greg had made himself comfortable, he wrapped his arms around Greg's body and held him as close as possible.

"I'm not dead, am I?" Greg asked with his face nuzzled into Nick's shoulder.

Nick chuckled sadly. "No, but the fact that you just asked that tells me I have a long way to go to make things right."

"It just feels a little bit like a dream." Greg explained.

"I know." Nick felt ashamed. "With a little time and a lot of work in my part, it won't feel like a dream anymore because it will be our new reality."

"Wow."

"Sleep Baby." Nick closed his eyes and took a deep breath of Greg's scent. "We'll figure it all out later. I promise."