A/N - So, yeah, I meant to say what I thought of the final Harry Potter movie in the last chapter, but I forgot to. But, hey, better late than never. Anyways, was I the only one disappointed with it? My opinion of it might have something to do with the fact that my friend brought this one chick I don't really like and that their boyfriends came and they kept leaving the theater before ditching me entirely. Also, they changed a lot of things, and I was hoping the scene between Bellatrix and Mrs. Weasley would have been more kick ass. But, it was decent, I'll admit. So, on with the chapter...

"Shush!" Adrian hissed. "Do you guys hear that...?"

"Hear what?" Eddie wondered, confused.

Lissa and I exchanged glances, pondering on the thought of Adrian suddenly going crazy. Well, that was until we heard faint sounds of moaning and panting.

Adrian moved the bottles of liquor aside, and stood on the table, an empty glass cup in his hand. He raised the glass, tilting it so it touched the ceiling. His eyes drifted closed; his ear faintly touching the cup that was near the air vent.

"Such wondrous noises," he murmured.

I leaned over to Mia, and whispered, "Is he getting an erection?"

She muttered, "I think so..."

A shrill scream of ecstasy was heard from above, which made Adrian moan. Grunts were heard. Intense rattling was heard, and I assumed that it was the bed who was taking the brunt force of the fiery passion that seemed to be going on in the room above Lissa's dorm.

"Uh, who lives there?" Christian turned to his girlfriend.

"I'm pretty sure it's this girl named Aubrey McAllister. She isn't royal or anything, but I talked to her a couple of times. She seems nice."

"Is she hot?" Adrian questioned from his position on the table.

"I'm not lesbian, so I can't say that. But, she's fairly pretty... I guess."

"Do you think that he might let me cut in, and take the girl in another round? A much better one, at that."

"Who said it was a guy?" Eddie snickered.

"That's even better!" Adrian said loudly. "One girl riding my dick and the other riding my face..."

I said flatly, "So, I'm guessing that you're glad you apparently have a good imagination?"

"Very," was the reply I received.

After a couple more minutes, the moaning ceased, and Adrian looked disappointed. He looked pointedly at Lissa, and asked, "Do you have any Vaseline?"

Lissa rolled her eyes, "Do I look like a fucking pharmacist?"

"Depends. Are you pregnant?"

"NO! Do I look knocked up to you?"

Adrian examined her for a minute or two, before saying, "Nope. So, I'm guessing you and Ozera figured out why condoms were invented. Which might be a good thing, considering with how often you two undress each other mentally... If you don't use condoms, her body would be full of little bastard Dragomir kids."

Christian and Lissa stared at him, obviously worrying about his sanity. Lissa coughed, and asked, "What does being pregnant have to do with being a pharmacist?"

Adrian shrugged. "I just imagine them being cranky bitches. And, pregnant women are cranky."

"Yeah, of course you would know how hormonal women can get while they're pregnant, considering the fact of how many mistresses you probably have," I stated.

Adrian grinned. Well, he was until Eddie mused, "I thought his only mistress was his hand..."

As Adrian was jumping off the table, the air vent rattled, and fell on the floor. Something small and pink fell out along with it, and Adrian managed to catch it, before topping onto the ground in what looked like a painful position. He grunted, before sitting up. The queen's great-nephew studied the object, before saying, "Was this some lame-ass attempt of a dildo that was made thousands of years ago?"

He tossed the pink item to me, and I looked at it for a few seconds, before bursting out with laughter. My friends stared at me, obviously wondering why I was laughing. After controlling my laughter, and breathing, I said, "Three years ago, when Aaron and Lissa were still dating, he would often come over to her dorm. Mason and I were hanging out with her one time. He was watching porn, while Lissa and I were having a civilized conversation. Aaron came over, and brought it with him. We pretty much ignored him, so he went over to the computer to talk to Mason. At this point, we were paying attention to the guys, and we saw Aaron stick it down his pants, which can explain why it's so sticky..." I wrinkled my nose, and gave it to Lissa, as realization dawned upon her.

"What is it, though?" Adrian grumbled, curiosity washing over him like a wave of salty ocean water.

Lissa answered, "He wanted to feel special, so he tried learning how to play an instrument. He failed at everything, so he insisted on playing this- a plastic nose flute."

"And he still sucked balls," I stated.

"Literally," Lissa said, much to Christian's delight.

"So, it's still like some pathetic alteration of a dildo, right?" Adrian said with a tedious tone to his voice.

Eddie replied, "Dude, it doesn't even look like a dildo."

"Self-pleasuring has no boundaries," was Adrian's retort.

Their bickering was interrupted by a faint groan. We looked around the room, and noticed that the janitor was stirring, just as the moans above Lissa's dormitory started picking up again, louder than before.

Groggily, the janitor stood up, blinking rapidly. He was obviously confused by his surroundings, but then memories of before he was knocked out rushed to his brain. He glared at me, before pelting in my direction. Before he could reach me, however, he paused. He tilted his head upwards, obviously listening to the noises above. slowly, he walked towards the table, and stood on it, just as a shrill scream echoed through the ceiling.

While my friends were glancing at each other furtively, I walked towards Lissa's closet and started rummaging through it. After haphazardly tossing her clothes out of the way, I grabbed the first thing that can be considered a weapon; a shovel.

The janitor was bucking his hips, hooting loudly by now, while everyone else looked disturbed, as if this was going to scar them for life. Hell, it probably would. Silently, I walked behind him, and raised the shovel. Then, I clocked him in the back of the head with the metal part of the shovel. He instantly crumpled to the floor, in a highly uncomfortable position.

"Huh. So, it's a fact. Shovels can be lethal."

My friends stared at me with wide eyes, obviously thinking I should be sent to a crack house. But, hey, they might not be a bad deal, as long as there was a large supply of pot... Nah, it wasn't worth it, I figured after thinking about it for a few seconds.

So, I hope you guys found this chapter humorous and all that jazz.

Question 1 -
Was anybody expecting those noises that Adrian heard?

Question 2 -
Do you watch the show The Nine Lives Of Chloe King? Because, if you don't, you should. It's pretty amazing. And, I really hope they don't cancel it. Because then that would suck balls; Aaron's balls in fact. *Insert Voldemort's And Bellatrix's Laughter.*