LAST TIME

"I was trying to tell your bitchy ass that if we're going to fix this damn fucking mess you made, we're going to have to…," and here he seemed to swallow,"…work together."

Oh hell no.

Little White Lie

Chapter Three:

I'm an Idiot

"We're doing what now?" Inuyasha sent me a look that told me I was stupid. It's sad, but I have to agree with him this time; it was my fault this whole thing started. Actually it's HIS fault…or his crony's fault. Whoever decided it was a good idea to call me a virgin is who's at fault. Yeah.

"We have to work together. Or are you deaf, too?" I don't know, I might be if I hear you yell one more time. I hope I didn't say that out loud. If I was in any more trouble, I think I'd rather be in the cemetery digging my own grave. The bell for second period rang just then.

"Wasn't that the second period bell?" No duh, genius. But then, I realized it was Kuranosuke that was talking, so I decided to keep my thoughts to myself. "Shouldn't you guys be going back to class?" I gaped at him. Was this guy serious? I told him not twenty minutes ago that I was being chased by a lynching mob, and he tells me to go back to class?

"Are you a dumbass?" I heard Inuyasha say from behind me. Thank you! Someone who understands! Guess what happened?

…

If anyone guessed that Kuranosuke just laughed it off, then you earn Win Points. Before I knew it, Inuyasha was trying to rip Kuranosuke's head off. I'd have no problem with that, but that'd mean I'm an accomplice in the murder of the computer guy, and I don't need more crap on my record. So what'd I do? I stopped him. Sort of.

"Let go, bitch!" Inuyasha growled, trying to pry me off of his waist. I had, in the spur of the moment, jumped and wrapped my arms around his waist so that he couldn't move anymore. You'll probably call me super dumb after you realize that he's half demon, and would probably drag me along the floor. If you realized that, then good for you, because that's what happened.

My attempts were futile, I realized, and I decided it was better to just let him loose. What're we gonna lose except for some guy who looks on the internet for porn and pretends to fix computers? Inuyasha beats the crap out of him, throws him in the closet (don't ask why there's one in a computer room, I don't know either), and dusts off non-existent dust on his clothes.

"So, what's the plan gonna be, wench?" I don't know why he insists on calling me those names, but if he does it one more time, I think I might…well, I don't really know what I'd do. It's unfair how such a menacing threat only works if you're actually menacing. I mean, sure, I can be sorta menacing sometimes, but I'm usually not, and he's a half-demon, so yeah. It just doesn't work. And now I'm ranting.

"Hey, Miss Bitchy Bitchface. If you're gonna keep ignoring me, I should just tell the whole damn lynching mob you're here." Okay, that's it. He's going down. Like, right now.

"If you don't give a shit, then why're you here, you god damn cigarette?" You see, when I said he was going down, I meant verbally. Yeah, verbally.

…

I'm a sucker, I know, and I know how wrong that sounded, too. After my genius plan was executed, said genius plan being that I was to call him a cigarette and expect him to be offended for whatever reason, I realized just how stupid it was. Why? Because he didn't get it. He gave me a confused look that I would've taken a picture of if I wasn't so stupefied at how badly my plan failed. I sent him as stern of a look as I could, hoping that the more I stared at him, the faster is Epiphany Bulb would light. I suppose it wasn't all bad; Miroku got the insult. Too bad he wasn't the one I was insulting. He whispered something to Sango, probably the meaning of my insult, and she sent me one of the oddest looks I have ever seen. Leave it to my captive to make me feel dumber than I already felt.

"What the fuck?" I think I feel better now. His brilliant answer outshined a tiny portion of my brilliant plan. And his face. I love it. But not in that way. Instead of grinning, I huffed at him and crossed my arms in irritation.

"Screw it, you don't even get it. I'll just settle with calling you a douchebag." He made a funny noise, which sounded kind of like "keh," before imitating me by folding his own arms across his chest and mocking my huff. I huffed louder and craned my neck even farther away from him. He did the same, twice as hard. I tried again. My neck cracked.

"Tch, you're not so tough, wench." That's what he gathered from my neck cracking? "Now, we need a plan." What? How did it go from mocking me, to devising a plan? A plan for what?

"A…plan?" I managed dumbly. I cursed myself. Inwardly, of course. I didn't need him thinking I was nuts, too. He shook his head disapprovingly at me.

"Stupid wench. You mean you forgot how the whole damn school is now after our fucking heads?" I felt offended.

"After our heads? They're after my head!" He cracked a smirk at me.

"You haven't got one, bitch. Mine's so awesome that it counts for both of us." Miroku burst into stifled chuckles in the sidelines, and we looked over at him like he was crazy. He kind of was.

"The fuck are you laughing at?" Inuyasha demanded, his irritation running wild in his voice.

"Nothing, nothing. Please, continue," Miroku said lightly, waving his hand in a motion that was meant to tell us to continue. I don't' think we were convinced because he was still trying to hide his laughter behind his hand. And then it hit me what was making him laugh.

"Miroku, you are a sick bastard. Aren't you supposed to be a monk?" And furthermore, he should be bald. I should add that. Bald and wearing long, flow-y robes with prayer beads and a wooden staff when he needs to practice his fabled Xaolin-Kung-Fu-That-He-Learned-In-The-Mountains-While-Fighting-Bears-And-Sitting-Under-Waterfalls.

"My sincerest apologies, but I have no idea what you're talking about." Like hell you don't. Whatever. You aren't important. I turned back to my would-be tormenter as he stared back at me. We locked gazes, but not in that really cheesy romantic way. I could taste the sparks flying between us...sparks of hate, that is.

"So, what's your wonderful plan?"

"Unlike you, I've actually done some damn thinking," It's about damn time, I wanted to say," and you should just tell them the fucking truth. If they knew, then there'd be no damn problems and I'd be on my merry-fucking-way." Uhhh…no. Sorry, buddy, but I sure as heck am not doing that. Childish, yes, but this is absolutely necessary in teaching this arrogant badass a lesson.

"Sure, whatever you say," I started, which made him smirk in triumph. Tch, as if I'd be that easy. "On a few conditions." He raised an eyebrow at me.

"A few conditions?"

"Yes. First condition: you are no longer allowed to give me hell at the beginning of every stupid day of school. One day, all of your bullying is going to come bite you in the ass and I'm gonna be the crazy-ass suicidal bomber that attacks the school for your blood."

"Fat chance."

"Second condition: for the rest of this year, you are going to do menial tasks for me when I ask you to."

"Hell no."

"And third condition: observe the fact that I am not just an outcast and accept me into your stupid society like normal people."

"If our society is so stupid, why do you even want in? And no."

"Then it's settled. Looks like this charade's gonna go on." Getting my way just feels so sweet. I now hold power over the school's badass. That's badass.

"Why can't you fucking quit being a bitch and tell the damn truth? Saves us all the fucking trouble and you can go back to your sad little life." Ouch, he's going into personal ground. No matter, I'll just call security by ignoring him.

"My plan is to run far away from school and go on some epic adventure so that when we come back, nobody will remember. Rumors last 75 days, right?" Now everyone's looking at me like I'm crazy. Way to make me feel good about myself, guys.

"Are you fucking nuts? Gayest plan in the history of fucking gay plans." Hey there, some people might take offense to the fact that you're using "gay" to describe my perfectly brilliant plans.

"What's the harm? I think that sounds like an interesting idea," I hear Miroku agree from his place in the room.

"To be honest, it doesn't really sound all that bad," Sango also agreed. Inuyasha sent us all a crazed look and backed away.

"You…you guys are fucking nuts! That sounds like a plan right out of some cheapass adventure novel!" So what if it was? You can't blame me for having read a good adventure story yesterday. And then having a dream about it.

"What's this?" I heard Kuranosuke remark loudly—coughonpurposecough—from his station at the computer. For some reason, all four of us meandered over to check out what he was looking at. On the computer screen was a weird picture, but I couldn't really describe it. It looked like a bunch of random pixels.

"Did'ja finally break your damn computer? Serves ya right for lookin' at so much porn," Inuyasha remarked. Hey, he actually agrees with my private rumor. Maybe he won't be so bad. Not. Kuranosuke looked positively offended, gasping so hard he almost choked on his own air.

"I do no such thing! It's perfectly ungentlemanly of me!" Uh huh, keep thinking that. But wait. What's that? Suddenly the fuzzy picture on the screen was shifting, and it almost looked like it was moving. My fingers went numb all of a sudden, and the last thing I remembered before my vision went black was Inuyasha's signature dumb remark of "What the fuck?"

My final thoughts after hearing that? Shit, I'm gonna be stuck with Inuyasha on my epic adventure. It just became not-so-epic.

I'm sorry for such a long wait, everyone, but I had midterms to deal with, and it was kind of distracting. But here's the next installment, and everything just becomes little bit crazier after this.