Rules of the Cage: These rules are to be followed so that we don't just go crazy over the course of eternity...
Torture and/or Attempted Murder
2. If one of our physical bodies goes missing, we will not automatically assume blame on the people we live with.
3. Terms Lucy, Mikey, and Ape are banned and must never be used.
4. The topic of who to blame for everyone being stuck in the cage is taboo.
5. Monopoly is banned. So are the following: Candy Land, Taboo, Scrabble, Jenga and Charades
6. No chick-flick movies will be watched.
7. No one is allowed to make fun of Dean Winchester in front of Sam – he get's emotional.
8. Never ask Lucifer or Michael about their dad.
9. Adam is banned from flicking rubber bands.
10. The Bond films (while good) are not to be watched as they give certain people crazy ideas.
11. Lucifer is banned from trying to convince Sam and Adam that gambling with their souls is a good idea for them
12. We hereby refer to the corner that Sam's body disappeared from the CORNER OF DOOM.
13. We will no longer add 'of Doom' to the end of words to make them more exciting.
14. Adam and Sam are banned from saying 'God' – it keeps freaking Lucifer and Michael out
15. Lucifer and Michael are banned from complaining about humans.
16. Sam and Adam are banned from complaining about angels.
17. Dishes are to be cleaned by everyone, not just Sam (and Lucifer smiting them does not count)
18. Repeating what someone just said with a high pitched whiny voice is banned.
19. Brotherly moments are not to be mocked by the other people in the cage.
20. Sam is not allowed to read anymore encyclopaedias, he's already a walking dictionary
21. Watching any movie slightly religious (Like Constantine or Bruce Almighty) is banned if either Lucifer and/or Michael is also watching.
22. Soccer is not to be played in the cage.
23. Bagpipes are not allowed anywhere near Lucifer ... or Adam.
24. Marley and Me is never to be read, watched or mentioned ever again. EVER.
25. Pictionary is banned.
26. Michael is banned from asking about human mating rituals – we know he's just trying to make us uncomfortable.
27. No road hockey in the cage ... or actual hockey ... no hockey of any sort is allowed.
28. Tennis is banned.
29. No one is allowed to read the Winchester gospels. Especially if they then start quoting them in everyday life to annoy Sam.
30. Never ask Lucifer and Michael to explain their brothers.
31. No trampolines.
32. Never again will the cage be made into a
33. No porn unless you are alone in the corner of Doom and even then leave a sock in the hallway or something because that is just mentally scarring.
34. No Baseball.
35. Michael is banned from drinking Tequila.
36. Twister is banned because in Sam and Adam's opinion that game is only maybe slightly okay if there are girls around. And there isn't.
37. Adam is banned from singing – he's even worse than Dean.
38. Pets are not allowed.
39. No Football.
40. No one is allowed to mess with Michael's book collection, he will smite you.
41. No pickles.
42. No Milk
43. No words starting with an X
44. No cookies
45. No beer
46. No peanut butter
47. No 'No'
48. Lucifer is to be called the King of the Cage
49. Onions are to be eaten every meal
50. Sugar is to be worshiped
is now what we call Thursday
52. No candy unless your name starts with L
53. No eggs
54. No beans
55. Every day you need to say Lucifer is the best three times
56. Rules forty-one to fifty-five do not count as rules, because Lucifer is an idiot.
57. For rules to be established, it must have the support of at least one other people ... or proven to be dangerous to our well-being.
58. Lucifer is not allowed to "dance", people will think he is having a stroke.
59. Lucifer is not to just sit and smile at people ... it's creepy.
60. Lucifer is not allowed to sing "Walking on Sunshine".
61. Lucifer is not allowed to eat straight sugar. EVER.
62. Jesus Christ Superstar's music is never to be played in front of Lucifer or Michael.
63. Putting make-up on Adam when he is sleeping is now banned.
64. Writing on a post-it note 'Kick Me' and sticking it on Sam's back is banned.
65. Michael is never again to try and hug a human – it's awkward.
66. Lucifer is banned from explaining to Sam just how much he screwed over his life, for Lucifer's own safety.
67. Re-enacting scenes from the Winchester gospel's with fake-British accents counts as quoting the Winchester gospel's and therefore BANNED.
68. Angel's in general are not allowed to hug humans, it's always awkward and it always backfires.
69. Trying to create a swimming pool is banned.
70. Everyone is to help with chores, not just Sam. Trying to smote dirt does not work.
71. No one is allowed to wear pink and orange together.
72. Creating finger-puppets and using them to 'illustrate' scenes from the Winchester Gospel is not a creative way for getting around rule #30 and is here-forth banned.
73. Knock-knock jokes are never to be told around Michael, he does not get them.
74. Flicking coins at people are banned.
75. Adam is banned from trying to convince Lucifer to wear a man's purse.
76. Lucifer will never be a stand-up comedian and he is not allowed to practice on us.
77. Lucifer is banned from wearing a man's purse.
78. Lucifer is banned from trying to convince Sam to wear a man's purse.
79. Writing anonymous love notes to everyone is banned. There are only four of us; we all know who did it.
80. Calendars are pointless.
81. We are no longer allowed to call Sam 'girly' – he seems to take offense.
82. Michael is not allowed to smite food just because he's bored.
83. Comparing the Winchester Gospel's with Harry Potter and Star Wars is not a good idea for one's health.
84. Hiding Lucifer's stuff might be fun, but then he gets all moody and is therefore banned.
85. Lucifer is banned from cooking ever since he accidently dropped the knife and badly maimed Sam.
86. Using sign-language to retell the Winchester Gospel is banned.
87. Miming out scenes of the Winchester Gospel is also banned!
88. Suggesting Sam take some therapy to get over his paranoia that Adam is constantly scheming to find ways to break the rules relating to the Winchester Gospels results in a black eye and is therefore banned.
89. Michael is banned from dancing – and we thought Lucifer was bad.
90. Making jokes about Sam's hair (asking about product, length, model pose, etc) is banned.
91. We are only allowed to gamble with chocolate now due to the unfortunate incident regarding the sofa and Lucifer's pie.
92. Adam is banned from attacking people with water balloons.
93. Adam is banned from hiding in closets and jumping out at people.
94. Lucifer is banned from taking up Adam's idea to jump out at people.
95. Michael must explain what he's upset about, no more sitting and frowning at someone – it's creepy.
96. Sam is not allowed to do obnoxious amounts of Math in one sitting.
97. Adam is not allowed to start a class for Lucifer entitled 'Next Time You Get Topside You Should So Freak People Out Using These Techniques' (NTYGTYSSFPOUTT for short)
98. Creating origami armies of creatures and using them to stage epic origami battles is fine, but will be banned if said person doing this complains about their paper cuts
99. Never again should a human ever attempt to teach an angel about what people think angels are like – it will make them want to restart the apocalypse.
100. Never try to teach Lucifer or Michael how to hula-hoop.
101. Dying Michael's hair purple is banned.
102. Convincing Lucifer the proper way to say thank you is by grabbing someone's butt and then convincing him to use that on Sam is banned (Adam I know this was you).
103. Disney movies are banned.
104. Sam is banned from eating burritos – he stinks up the place when he does.
105. Sam and Michael can talk about their books all they want but are not allowed to drag Adam into it. If he had wanted to join a book club he would have damn-it.
106. Trying to 'recreate' the ocean is banned.
107. To add: trying to recreate a beach is also banned.
108. Beach Volleyball is also banned.
109. Music must be changed at least every ten years or we will go crazy.
110. Trying to convince Michael that togas are not worn in modern everyday life is pointless and should just be dropped.
111. Sam is not allowed to play poker, he is addicted and we are sick of losing
112. Lucifer is not allowed to decorate the cage unsupervised.
113. Trying to call a whale into the room is banned.
114. Birthday wishes are allowed, but not pinches or hugs (as that contradicts rules #65 and #68)
115. Despite the years spent in the cage, no one should smack-talk Dean in front of Sam, he still gets emotional.
116. No more girly drinks.
117. Creating songs as a re-telling of the Winchester Gospel's are also banned.
118. Lucifer is not allowed to tell a funny story, he sucks at it.
119. Prank wars are banned.
120. Adam is banned from trying to corrupt the angels.
121. Darts are banned.
122. Tomatoes are to be eaten, not thrown at random people.
123. Trying to recreate a tornado after watching Twister is banned.
124. Michael is not allowed to attempt cooking. Sam's eyebrows are still growing back.
125. Michael's "food" is not to be used as a weapon even if inedible.
126. Asking Sam if there is any girl he's ever slept with who is still alive is rude, insensitive and will make him tear up. Therefore is banned (I'm looking at you Lucifer)
127. Bonfires are banned; we accidently set Sam on fire.
128. Deciding to throw goo is not hygienic nor a good idea and is therefore banned.
129. We are never to break all the rules at the same time ever again ... And if we are the person whose bright idea that was must stay and help clean-up.
AN: I DID IT! Yes! Hurray! This was a pain in the ass, but it's DONE! And I hope you liked it because I will never do a list again. Ever. Lesson learned. So this wraps up Sam's Hell. I hope you enjoyed it. For those who were wondering where I had drifted off to, I am sorry for the break in my writing. The play is now done, but I am in the middle of some fairly time consuming things right now. You should expect to see Surviving February updated sometime in May and then I'll quickly wrap it up as well (it's only a few chapters to go there). After that, I have already started plans on the next fanfiction endeavor which I am REALLY excited about. Anyways, thanks for reading, the reviews, messages, alerts, favourites and everything else! I hope you enjoyed this little add on.
~ Ella