Disclaimer – I sadly do not own Casualty or any of the characters!

Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 1 – The Morning after the Night before

Adam tapped his pen on the reception desk his eyes firmly fixed on the doors to the department. Waiting. He wasn't waiting long, spot on time Kirsty came through the doors looking tired and stressed though obviously determined to be on time after Tess's threats the day before.

"Morning." Adam said unsure of what else to say as he straightened up. He wanted to discuss what had happened the day before but he was not sure how to go about it.

"Morning." Kirsty sighed looking up at the wise doctor trying not to show how embarrassed she was about what had happened yesterday her cheeks turning a deep pink. .

"I thought you might have taken today off..." Adam began recalling the heart stopping few minutes yesterday when he had had to resuscitate the young nurse after she took Ritalin to try and stop herself from falling asleep on the job.

"Tess is already after my guts." Kirsty shrugged him off "I did sleep last night and I promise I won't take any more pills that I shouldn't."

"Well take it easy ok?" Adam said gently

"I will." Kirsty nodded before disappearing in the direction of the staffroom obviously relieved to have escaped his questioning eyes.

He sighed slightly. It was the little things that made him curious about her. She was often late and seemed flustered. It always felt like there was something that she was hiding, well, something she just didn't talk about. Her husband hadn't exactly settled Adam's mind. Their brief conversation hadn't been that pleasant although he obviously cared about Kirsty the man seemed on edge and Adam felt awkward in his presence, possibly more because only two weeks previously Kirsty had come storming into the male toilets in the bar and kissed him like her life depended upon it.

Kirsty confused him. She was a brilliant nurse, he admired her enthusiasm, her talent for nursing and for trouble but at times it felt like she was trying to distract herself from something else.

But what it really his place to stick his nose in?

Well yes he decided. If Kirsty was a friend then yes it was his place though if she didn't talk to him there was nothing more he could do than be her friend. He still wanted to know what was going on, there was something suspicious, something hidden away in Kirsty's life.

"Doctor Trueman?" Ruth's voice cut across his thoughts like a knife "Could I get your opinion on something?"

"Yeah, of course Ruth what is it?" Adam asked turning his attention to the younger doctor and with a sigh pushing the thoughts about Kirsty to the back of his mind.

Kirsty lent her head against her locker. What had she been so stupid and taken the Ritalin? Why had she been so stupid to take the Diazepam in the first place? She could almost see the pity and worry in Adam's eyes as he talked to her. She could also see the questions on the tip of his tongue, the questions she really didn't want to answer.

She couldn't afford to show any signs of weakness or inability to perform her job to Tess. She was relieved for Adam's caring and understanding nature that he hadn't let the whole department know about the whole incident yesterday. She needed this job to support Nita and Warren, his incapacity benefits didn't come close to covering the household bills. Though she didn't just need the job she really loved it. Every nursing position she had held she felt passionate about enjoying every experience only recently after the accident had she really needed the job, needed not only the money but the escape from the house, from everything.

The staffroom door banged open and Jay entered looking his cheery self snapping Kirsty from her thoughts and making her stand up straight.

"Bad day?" Jay asked flicking on the kettle

"Something like that." Kirsty nodded

"Head butting your locker wont help believe me!" He chuckled and Kirsty smiled back "Coffee?" he added gesturing at the kettle.

"Just what I need." She nodded opening the locker and shoving her bag in.

Fully dressed in scrubs and with a steaming mug of coffee in her hand as Jay chattered about a patient they had had in that morning she made a decision. Home was home and work was work. She needed to make sure they didn't mix any further for her own sake more than anything. She didn't need work to be haunted by everything going on at home and she certainly didn't need Adam's pity looks. She really had made things worse with that kiss, Adam just seemed to get her, to understand her and with a little alcohol in her system she made a snap decision. She both regretted and didn't regret it at the same time.

"Earth to Kirsty?" Jay's voice snapped her back to reality "You ok?" He asked slightly concerned

"Yeah sorry just tired." Kirsty sighed

"Nah its ok." Jay grinned "Get that coffee down you I'm heading back to cubicles before Tess comes after me." He chuckled slightly it was well known that Tess took great pleasure in telling Jay off when he did things wrong and the cheeky nurse often found himself on the end of her anger.

Kirsty downed her coffee.

"I'll follow or she'll be coming after me too!" She laughed slightly

Things were better this way.