OMG. Look who's alive? It's amazing isn't it? Okay, sorry about being so late - I've been crazy lately. It's either been I've been in a deep funk and don't want to write anything, or I really want to write but don't have time. Between graduation and working, I haven't had a lot of that. I also started trying to write a christmas chapter to go along with a chapter for every episode until we got to where I wanted it to be, but that was taking too long and quite frankly I thought my Christmas chapter was a piece of shit. Today at work though I was just watching the shop and it was a slow day and had my laptop with me. Work + Laptop + Boredom = Results apparently. I wrote out 2000 words alone in like 4 hours.

So, I'll just give you a run-down of everything that I can think of at the moment that you guys need to know.

- Puck still got a crush on Lauren and covinced her to join glee club

- Since Finn didn't break up with Rachel, he didn't cheat with Quinn, so Quam and Finchel are still ago. Santana is single.

- The whole Hudmel family is moved into their new house.

- Everybody had a great Valentine's Day and didn't sing to any gap employees (or attend a lonely hearts dinner)

- I feel bad after On My Way for making Karofsky such a villain...so I've made him a little more understandable rather than just plain evil and mean.

Warnings: Language, some sexual content, maybe some triggery stuff towards the end, unwanted sexual advances, violence.

I think that's it. Any questions that you still may have can be left in a review.

When I thought about how much time had passed, it really seemed pretty surreal. It had been months since Sectionals, and we were on the fast track to Regionals, Rachel spear-heading some sort of campaign for original songs.

So much had happened since then. Puck had developed some sort of crush on Lauren Zizes and convinced her to join Glee, Finn and I had moved into our new house with our parents – just in time for Christmas – Blaine and I were doing amazingly and had spent a fantastic Valentine's day together, and Karofsky had left me almost completely alone. Sometimes he would shove me or slushie me, but that was mostly just when his friends were around and it seemed like he was just keeping up appearances. I didn't understand what had caused such a drastic change, but I was enjoying it all the same.

I was still quite concerned about his sudden change of heart, but after a few months I decided that instead of fretting about it, I would focus on more important things, such as this party Rachel was throwing. The Rachel Berry House Party Trainwreck Extravaganza (that's a mouthful isn't it?) was the talk of the club, and I was actually kind of excited about it. It was a party I could actually attend without the fear of getting the crap kicked out of me by a bunch of drunken jocks.

So of course the next course of action after planning my outfit to this party would be to call my boyfriend and invite him along. I knew Rachel would have no problem with it, so I had no qualms about phoning him about the whole affair.

"Okay so say it again – what are you taking me to?"

"The Rachel Berry House Party Train Wreck Extravaganza."

"… I have no idea what that is."

I rolled my eyes while trying not to laugh at him, "It's just a party Rachel is throwing and I want you to be there, so I'm asking you to be there."

"Wait, she actually called it that?" he asked while holding back a laugh.

"Actually I'm pretty sure Mercedes called it that, but the name just sort of stuck. Besides it is a fairly accurate description if I do say so myself."

"Okay, so when is this, uh…"

"Rachel Berry House Party Train Wreck Extravaganza."

"Yeah that – supposed to happen anyway?"

"Rachel's dads are leaving on Friday night to go on some sort of Rosie O'Donnell cruise, so she's having it Saturday night." I told him, while rolling over on my bed to check the state of an auction I was watching for a Burberry scarf that was selling for a fraction of the original price.

"I'm free then, a lot of the Warblers want to take the weekend off and go home to see their families, so no one else will really be around."

"So you'll come with me?"

He laughed, "Yes Kurt, I'll come with you."

I swear I did not squeal – or maybe I did, "I will see you on Saturday then."

See him on Saturday I did, as I picked him up and drove to Rachel's house. We sang along to some songs (mainly top forty because Blaine appears to be obsessed with it), and talked about what this party was going to be like. We had a lot of different expectations for what it.

None of them lived up to what it actually was.

When we arrived, I was at first asked why I had invited Blaine, but after staring at Rachel for a moment with a look that could probably be summed up in the words, 'Are you seriously asking that?', she didn't bother saying anything more.

Once we got down the stairs, I quickly realized that 1) we were the last people to arrive, and 2) this was probably going to be one of the most boring parties ever. I came to this conclusion when Rachel began trying to act like a gracious host who was more interesting than she actually was, and handed out drink tickets – wine coolers? Really? – which we just kind of stared at. I was ready to bolt and take Blaine with me, because to be honest I could think of much more fun things to be doing than sitting in Rachel's house drinking wine coolers.

Then all hell broke loose when Puck got into the liquor cabinet.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting when Kurt asked me along to this party, but I don't think it was anything like this. I tried not to drink too much, instead watching the others play silly drinking games and doing body shots. Eventually though, I got caught up in everything and ended up having a drink.

Then I had another drink.

And another.

And a shot to go along with it.

Things get a little blurry after that.

Looking around the room, I couldn't believe how out of control things had gotten. The New Directions were crazy normally. Apparently if you added alcohol to that crazy, it just got worse.

Tina and Mercedes were laughing hysterically at who knows what, Lauren and Quinn were yelling at Puck and Sam who just stood there staring at them, Santana was crying about Brittany (who was stripping), and Artie was throwing money at Brittany.

The only ones who weren't drunk were Finn (who was entertaining Rachel) and I. My boyfriend was even drinking, and currently hanging off me going on about how Finn and I were brothers.

I don't know why either.

I admit, I was concerned about how much he was drinking. He wasn't drinking a lot compared to the others, but for him it was a substantial amount especially when you factor in that he had told me he wasn't a huge drinker. He'd drink a drink every now and then, but he tried not to drink too much because when he did he found it hard to stop, and since he was a lightweight, it didn't take much to get him inebriated.

Everything came to a head when Rachel announced spin the bottle. I had never really been invited to many parties, especially not middle and high school ones, so I had never actually played before. I knew the gist of it sure, but actual experience? Forget it.

I didn't particularly want to play, but Blaine dragged me over saying that everyone else was playing, so we should too. I quickly pointed out that Santana wasn't, but he didn't appear to hear what I was saying and pulled me down to sit between him and Rachel.

The bottle was spun a few times, awkward, drunk, sloppy kisses were exchanged, and fortunately I had not had to face the torture that was kissing one of my friends. Now that I think about it though, I wish I had because it would have been a lot better than what happened.

Around and around the bottle spun, Rachel having just spun it.

Of course it landed on Blaine.

I was just barely holding in laughter at the time because my drunk, gay boyfriend had to kiss an equally drunk girl. My silent laughter dissipated though once their lips touched and Blaine started responding in a way that he only would with me.

'What the hell?'

They pulled away and just stared at each other for a moment before Rachel drug Blaine up for a duet – a romantic duet at that.

It just continued on like this all night, Rachel hogging my boyfriend and Blaine seemingly being perfectly fine with it. I wasn't exactly happy as one can imagine, and I tried repeatedly to get Blaine to stop hanging off Rachel, to which I was responded with another romantic duet. I'm pretty sure I saw them exchange at least a couple more kisses as well.

Finally, both Finn and I got sick of seeing our significant others singing about wanting each other and practically hauled Blaine out of Rachel's house.

"What are you gonna do about Blaine?" Finn asked as I drove us home, him staring at Blaine sprawled on the backseat singing under his breath.

"Well he obviously can't drive home because one: he's drunk. Two: he doesn't have a car – I picked him up. I can't drive him home either this late."

"Your dad won't let him stay the night you know."

"He won't know."

Finn looked back at me worriedly, "I think he'll find out."

"I know he will," I sighed, "But I'm just going to have Blaine spend the night on the couch, and I'll deal with Dad in the morning."

Deal with Dad in the morning I did. Even though Blaine slept on the couch, Dad was still quite upset that I let my drunken boyfriend spend the night, even if he was on the couch the whole time. I was surprised that it took him so long, but after that I received the talk. Yeah, that talk. Oh and did I mention Blaine was there at the time too? So not only did my dad give me the sex talk, he also gave it to my boyfriend, who was hung over at the time.

I just couldn't win.

Speaking of my hung over boyfriend, I was quite irritated with him – and I still had a long car ride to endure with him.

"So," I heard him say next to me from the passenger's side of the car, "what exactly happened last night Kurt? All I remember is the beginning of the party, up until just after people were doing body shots."

If I hadn't been driving, I would have sent him a glare that would have killed if it were capable of doing so.

"Trust me, you don't want to know," I spoke irritably.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Blaine look taken aback by what I had just said.

"Well, whatever it was it obviously upset you somehow, so I think I deserve to know."

"Blaine, please. I'm driving and if we get into this right now, it won't end well."

"Then pull over."

"No."

"Kurt – "

"Blaine."

Silence.

"Please tell me."

I slowed down and pulled over before spinning around to look at him, "Fine? You want to know? You spent most of the night sucking Rachel Berry's face."

The look of shock on his face would have been downright hysterical if I wasn't so pissed.

"What?"

"You heard me Blaine. We played spin the bottle, you kissed Rachel, and then spent the rest of the night hanging off her, singing romantic duets, and occasionally playing tonsil tag!" I finished my speech loudly, breathing heavily and glaring at my boyfriend.

"I, I'm so sorry Kurt." He began, an extreme look of distress on his face.

I leaned against the steering wheel and rested my head on my arms for a moment. Then Blaine was talking again.

"She doesn't mean anything Kurt, you know she doesn't. And I'm so sorry for what happened. I don't know why I did it. I guess maybe I do, because I got into this argument with my father about dating and why I couldn't date a girl before I left, and I had that on my mind, and maybe that was why I did it but there's really no excuse and I hope you'll forgive me and hopefully convince Finn not to kill me for kissing his girlfriend, because it didn't mean anything and –" Blaine rambled. I'm not even sure if he realized he was, but I was slowly starting to become less irritated with him for some reason. "Please say something Kurt."

I lifted my head and looked into his bright hazel eyes. I loved his eyes, and they made me melt every time I looked into them.

"I do forgive you. I get that you weren't thinking straight, and I understand that you wouldn't do anything like this normally." I looked away from him, "However, it still hurt to see my boyfriend kissing one of my best friends like that." I took a deep breath and focused on keeping calm.

"Kurt –" Blaine began.

"Just give me a few days to cool off. Then we can talk this out and figure out what to do from there." I saw Blaine nod, "For now though, let's just relax and try to get through this drive okay?"

I saw him nod again, and I sat back up fully, turning back onto the road and heading out to Blaine's house.

The next few days didn't go much better than that morning. I still wasn't talking to Blaine, the glee club seemed to be forever drunk, and Mr. Schue was trying to get us to find a song that represented not getting drunk off our asses. Good luck with that is all I had to say. New Directions was about as alcohol abstinent as Puck was celibate.

Since this was the case, it also meant I had no one to talk to about the whole situation at the party. I'm pretty sure Rachel had kept herself drunk so she didn't have to deal with it and drug Finn along with her, and Mercedes was out of commission as well. There goes three of my biggest support systems – my dad excluded because I knew that if I discussed this with him, Blaine might not be living long enough to resolve this issue.

In other news, I was completely sober. I admit I was tempted, but I decided against it. Alcohol had caused enough problems in my life, not to mention occasionally making me puke on my guidance counselor's shoes.

Currently though, I was walking down the hall, already prepared for today's performance at the assembly. I'm still not sure why they thought Tik-Tok was a decent choice for this, but I had enough of my own problems to bother actually trying to object. I looked down at my watch, noticing that I was going to be late if I didn't hurry up. Apparently it had taken me longer to get ready than expected, so I started racing through the halls so I could avoid being bitched at, bumping into someone along the way.

"Sorry," I muttered, catching the scent of alcohol as I passed, not really paying attention to who was projecting the scent because I was in too much of a hurry to bother. I just kept going.

"There's someone who needs to attend this assembly," I thought, "But with this performance I'm not sure he'll learn anything."

I tipped a bottle up to take a swig of whatever liquor was in it. I stopped caring about an hour or two ago.

I wasn't sure why I decided to show up to school drunk today. There was some kind of assembly going on for this kind of stuff and here I was, doing what we were being taught not to do.

Actually, I do know why I was drunk in the first place.

I was drunk because I didn't want to think about Kurt.

God, I don't even know why I have such an obsession with him, but I can't help it. Every time he's around I can't choose between punching him, and making out with him.

I'm not sure why I kissed him that first time, but afterwards, it was all I could think about. I just kept thinking about his lips, and his eyes, and the way he looked when his cheeks flushed. It was pathetic. I was happy I had got to experience what I had, but at the same time I was scared because he had pushed me away – he didn't want it, and he could tell people.

It took me a bit to realize that, but when I did I couldn't let him just wander around knowing my secret so I threatened him. I was scared and it was stupid, and I don't think that if it came down to it I would actually kill him, but that didn't mean that I wasn't a little happy that it had happened. I was safe as long as he thought I would hurt him for telling. Then he told about the threat, and the fear came back and I snapped, and attacked him it the parking lot. It just went downhill from there.

It started off bad yeah, and I feel bad about it now. I was a total ass. I'm surprised he didn't tell anyone the whole story – you know, besides his preppy boyfriend.

"No, don't think about him. It will only make things worse."

If I thought about the hobbit, it only ever made things worse. I overheard Kurt talking once, and all I heard was 'He kissed me,' and I blanked. I decided that he was talking about me and had to make him shut up. Later, after I attacked Kurt, I remembered the rest of the words, which confirmed what Kurt told me about another boy kissing him.

He was talking about that Blaine kid. I only knew his name because I had heard the gay club and Kurt say it a few times, but anyway. I hated him. I hated him as soon as I met him when he confronted me with Kurt on the stairs that day. His slimy hair and preppy uniform and too happy attitude pissed me off before I found out he was dating Kurt, and it just got worse when I found out he was.

I hated him even more after him and the gay club guys cornered me after practice. How dare he threaten me?

Then I thought. If Kurt had told this prep-school douchebag, what if he told someone else? If he didn't then it was clear his boy-toy would. I couldn't let people find out, so I backed off.

I still felt like being close to Kurt though. So, I went to that singing competition. He had a pretty voice, even if it was a bit girly, and it actually made it really hard to stay away, so I started watching him. I made sure he didn't see me though, so I didn't get into trouble for it. I just kept watching.

I never actually hurt him again after that, other than a few slushies and dumpster tosses. The guys were on my case about not harassing Kurt as much, so I told them that I was trying to lay off so that I didn't get expelled again. They still wanted me to do that other stuff, so I did in order to get them off my back.

I kept watching though.

Then I realized just how creepy that was. I mean, come on, I'm practically stalking the guy.

And now I'm here, drunk off my ass because I'm trying to get my mind off of "the guy." I couldn't keep watching Kurt all the time, so I needed to stop thinking about him. Unfortunately I got a lot more boos than I planned on getting.

I tipped another bottle up and drank deeply.

"Get out of my head," I thought.

It didn't work.

Why was I not surprised that they were getting drunk for this performance? What better way to show case the hazards of drinking than by getting drunk and then dancing and singing in front of a school full of students. Great idea guys.

I tried to say no when I was passed a cup and when Rachel poured her concoction into the cup, but they didn't seem to hear a word I was saying. So, instead of talking I simply stood there, staring at the contents of the cup wondering if I could drown myself in its murky purple depths.

I started wandering down the hall. Everything was really bright, and I didn't like that, but I wanted to find Kurt. I wanted to tell him a bunch of stuff, and I think he hit me earlier, but I don't think he meant it. He said sorry.

I patted my leg, because I felt something there.

Oh right.

Why did I have a knife?

I stared down at my shoe as I walked. Why was it that two of the ones you'd expect to be able to hold their alcohol were the ones that would be the first to upchuck? And why did Brittany have to get it on my shoe? I suppose I also felt bad for Rachel, but I admit I found it funny until I noticed it also on my $200 shoes (Sure I didn't pay that much for them myself, because I know how to shop the sales but the odds of finding them again at such a great price was next to nothing.)

I was so busy staring at my shoe that I didn't see the person standing next to the locker room door, or smell the alcohol. Instead, I ran headfirst into him.

I shook head quickly and stared up, an apology dying on my lips as I realized who it was.

"Karofsky."

He didn't respond verbally, instead choosing to push me against the wall next to the locker room. I started to talk back, but before I really got a chance, my lips were crushed by his.

If I thought the stench of alcohol was bad, it was nothing compared to how it tasted in Dave Karofsky's mouth.

When he pulled away, I could see that his eyes were glazed over. I didn't know what was worse – the fact that he didn't seem to know what he was doing, or that I didn't know who or what to blame for this.

I tried to pull away from him, and almost succeeded, except that I had underestimated the strength and determination of a drunk. I got maybe a foot after kneeing him in the crotch before he grabbed me by the ankle and put a hand over my mouth, a knife held in his other hand and up to my throat.

"Kurt, please don't. I don't wanna hurt you."

A tear rolled down my face. He didn't want to hurt me? Well it didn't seem that way.

"Just come with me." He said, pulling me up after reassured that I wasn't going to scream. I wanted to, but between the knife and the way my voice was catching in my throat, I don't know if I could.

He pulled me into the locker room.

"Hey, hey, hey Finn."

I looked up and saw Sam. He and I weren't quite as drunk as the others, but we were buzzed enough that things weren't making complete sense.

"What?" I asked, not getting why he wanted to talk.

"Where's Kurt?"

I thought about it, "Cleaning puke off his shoe. I think."

"Well why isn't he back? Does cleaning take long?"

"It does when you're Kurt." I told him seriously, but he had a point, "I'll text him."

'bro whre r u?'

I heard my phone vibrating next to me and looked at the screen. Finn was texting me.

'bro whre r u?'

I tried to focus and sent a reply.

'I'm going home. My shoe is too hard to clean here. I only have French.'

I pressed send and waited.

Vibration.

'oh ok…u oky?'

I sobbed.

'Yeah, I'm fine. See you at home.'

Looking at the mess of red and white on the floor next to me though indicated otherwise.

I was not okay.

Okay, so yeah, that's it. I hope to get more up soon, but for now, I hope to see good repsonses from this.

Don't kill me!

P.S. I do not have a beta. I don't know if I've ever mentioned that before. If anyone is interested, let me know.