Title : Chainmail
Rating: M
PostSecret Prompt: Once wrote a poem about you on a $1 bill in hopes that one day it will end up in your wallet. http:/bit(.)ly/h3cljg
Summary: Bella is finding it much easier to accept her death after the Cullens leave. Stumbling upon a one dollar bill, she sees a poem written on it. Thinking it is chainmail and some ones sick joke, she brushes it aside. That night, she has a visitor she never expected.
•PostSecret concept created by Frank Warren. Recognizable characters and story elements are the property of Stephenie Meyer•
Forks, Washington. It's a small town in the Pacific Northwest where I currently reside with my father Charlie Swan. It never seems to stop raining and the dreariness of the town can sometimes become unbearable. That was before I met them; The Cullens. Life seemed too perfect with them—there was never a hair out of place, they had the designer cars and clothes, plus they had their perfect lives. Well at least everyone thought they did. I, the "human" came waltzing in and screwed everything up. Now, here it is, a year and a half later and they left. Just left, no good-byes, no fuck offs…nothing, nada, zilch! Here I sit, pondering what my life is going to bring…
1.) A crazed lunatic vampire who wants me for dead because her mate was killed because of this "human."
2.) My own pending doom with the Volturi, because Edward didn't have the balls to just change me.
3.) Edward…or so I thought!
Fuck my life! I was screwed either which way I thought about it. There was no out, no escape…again, nothing. Why couldn't I have just gone to Jacksonville with Renee? This whole god forsaken mess could have been avoided if I had just gone there with her. For now though, I'm safe…I think. The Pack seems to be doing its job looking out for that stupid stalker bitch. The Volturi, if they want me they can come and get me. Then, there is Edward…now there is someone to ponder. The more I thought about him; the more I began to question what I really was to him.
A horn blowing just brought me out of my inner musings. I looked in my rear view mirror, noting that it was Mike Newton honking for me to go through the one stop light in town. It just had to be Newton. That stupid little freak has been trying to get in my pants since I showed my face at Forks High School. It was bad enough I had Biology class with him last year, then I just had to go out and get a job at his parents sporting goods store. I curtly wave saying that I got the message and take off like a bat out of hell. The harder I pushed on my gas pedal, the worse my truck slugged along. Now don't get me wrong, I love my truck. For once when trying to escape, why couldn't I have Edwards Volvo or Alice's Porsche?
Again, back to my inner musings…
As I thought about it; did I really know The Cullens? Carlisle the compassionate one, Esme the loving one, Emmett the funny one…ok, my list could go on. But there is one vampire in particular that I never really got to know. Jasper. Who exactly was the quiet one of the coven? He rarely ever spoke but the few words when we were in Phoenix.
"You're worth it."
That was all I really remember him saying to me. Granted, he did snap those jaws at me at my birthday party but let bygones be bygones. I was in a house full of vampires for Christ's sake. Any one of them could have lost it, just as Jasper had done. And here we are again, full fucking circle. If that stupid, pussy-footing, mind reader would have just changed me, I wouldn't be in this predicament. Am I afraid of that stupid red-headed bitch? No, not so much. The Volturi? Sort of. Moving on with my life? Hell fucking right I am. I wanted an eternity with Edward…
The reality of the situation was starting to get to me. I needed to stop and think, push all of these emotions aside for the time being and focus on how I was going to get the fuck out of here. I drove as far as the gas in the tank would take me…great, just fucking great…Port Angeles. I pulled into the gas station, hopped out of my truck and searched my pockets for any lose money from my last measly paycheck. $80.00 was all I had left in cash. I thought about using my credit card but passed on the thought. The money in my savings was for my college tuition.
I stalked inside, thoroughly pissed off because I didn't have any more cash on me. The cashier, a seemingly nice little old lady was busy making small talk with the customer ahead of me. I waited, tapping my foot to the rhythm of the radio. I glanced at the clock; it was already 8:45pm. Thank god Charlie was out fishing for the weekend with Billy. I at least knew he had the protection of The Pack; one less thing to worry about. The jingle of the bell above the door alerted me that the previous customer had left. The little old lady had called me up to the counter.
"Can I put $50.00 in the Chevy out there?" I asked, handing her three twenties.
"Sure thing Sugar. Is that going to be all for you tonight?" she asked back.
"Yes ma'am."
"I'm sorry Sweetie; all I have left is fives and ones. Is that okay?"
"Yes ma'am." I said again.
She handed me my change, preset the gas pump and gave me a little wave while sending me on my way. There was nothing unusual about the encounter or so I thought. I shoved the money back into my pocket and made way to fill up "The Hog." I like to call it that because it sucked up gas like a child sucking on their bottle. One minute the milk is there, the next minute it's gone. I pulled the nozzle off of the pump and pushed it into the tank. When I heard the click of it finishing I pulled the nozzle back out and headed back to the pump. Of course, anyone who knows me knows that I could trip over flat surfaces. And here I did it again, there was nothing there in front of me to trip over but I did. Catching my fall on the pump, I felt a sharp pain go through my hand. Fuck, I muttered under my breath. I looked down at my hand and sure enough it was bleeding. I knew if I didn't act quickly, that this problem could become far worse than it already is. I had not put a first aid kit in the truck, so I pulled out the money that I had gotten back from the cashier. Gross, I know but it was all I could think of at the moment. I squeezed it tightly in my hand to apply pressure.
I walked quickly back into the store asking for the restroom. The little old lady smiled kindly and pointed me towards the back of the store. As I made my way through the isles, I could smell the iron in my blood. I was starting to get woozy so I picked up my pace. I rushed through the door for the sink. Not even worrying about having soggy money, I dropped the wad in the sink. I placed my hand under the running water, watching it go from red to pink as blood trailed down the drain.
When I was through washing out the tiny knick that seemed to bleed forever, I picked up the money and wrung it out. I laid the money on the sink and separated the bills one by one. I figured what the hell; I have time to spare so I started the pain staking slow process of drying the money. After all, I didn't want to ride home with a soggy ass. When I was on the last dollar, I flipped it over to try and dry the other side. On there is where I found the writing that would change the course of my life forever. The writing on it was smudged and blurry but it was still very much legible.
I know your pain,
And I can't help but wonder…
Was it I that caused it,
That day mid-September.
Your screams echo in the night,
For your dreams,
Become a haunting reality.
Know that I will protect you,
From the fears of your mind.
As of today,
You will ultimately find,
Your heart and soul protected.
Stay up late into the night,
And you will see,
Your eternity was…
Actually meant with me.
I stood there staring at the bill like it was some sort of sign. This was literally insane; you know one of those things that were just purely coincidental. Someone was playing one hell of a sick joke. It's like receiving chain mail, the ones where spirits kill you in your sleep. I crumpled the dollar back up and shoved it into my front pocket. As I made my way back through the store, I noticed that the little old lady was sweeping up the floors and dancing to the music. I smiled at the thought of her freedom; she didn't have a care in the world. Unlike myself, my death has been on my shoulders since I had met the Cullens. I pushed the thoughts aside and walked back out to my truck.
As I made my way back from Port Angeles, I hadn't really thought of how my choices were taken from me. The one choice I wanted; I could no longer have. I loved Edward so much that I was willing to die for him, literally and figuratively. My heart would stop beating and Charlie would have to have a proper burial for me. I could run, I thought. Where would that actually get me? Charlie using his resources to hunt me down and find me and drag me back kicking and screaming. That was out. I could tell Charlie that I wanted to stay on the reservation for a while because of issues at school. Nope, then I would be tortured with fishing and football stories from Billy. I could move to Jacksonville with Renee. Still another no, I was already a parent enough to both of them. I was running out of options fast and I couldn't see a light at the end of the tunnel.
An hour later, I pulled into the driveway. I felt emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted. I just wanted to stop everything for a little while, get some well needed rest and figure out exactly what I was going to do concerning my humanity or my death. Both were still viable options. As I made my way up the stairs, tripping only twice; I felt the odd sense of being watched. It freaked me out, so I went to every room in the house and turned on lights. After checking closets, cabinets, and shower curtains, I found that I was completely safe and secure. Although, if a vampire wanted to come in, they could always bust the door down.
After stripping out of my clothes, I went to run a bath. I needed to soak all the tension away. I slid down into the tiny tub and laid the back of my head down on the side. I must have fallen asleep sometime shortly after because I was startled by a soft thud coming from my room. I did a quick mental check to remember if I had locked all the windows and doors. Check…so what was that noise? After hanging out with vampires for a while your sense of self-preservation tends to increase. Well it's supposed to anyway; mine never has. As quietly as I could, I made my way from the tub to my bedroom door. If it was a vampire in my room, they would easily hear me anyway.
I slowly turned the knob and gently pushed on the wood separating me from the noise. I took a quick look through the crack and saw nothing out of place. Ok, this is really starting to freak me out. Maybe it is true about those chain letters, I thought. As I widened the crack I was peeping through, I noticed that the clothes I had left on the floor were missing. What the fuck was going on? Out of pure curiosity and no self-preservation, I walked quickly into the room. I scanned the room, stopping on the wooden rocking chair. There, in a pile and neatly folded, were my clothes. Was there some kind of cleaning fairy that I didn't hear about when I was a child? I did another quick scan of the room and found the money I had gotten from the gas station neatly laid out on my dresser. My panic was beginning to rise and my only thought was Vampire. I'm in way too fucking deep with this mess, I thought. I rapidly went to my dresser, pulling out only the essentials and dressed.
My reality once again came crashing down on me. My death was imminent. I guessed at this point in the game I had two very different options: one that was a slow, painful and torturous death; the other, quick and painless…hopefully. As I lay on my bed, my emotions were beginning to take hold of me. The tear, hot and wet on my chilled cheeks was the only reminder I had that I was still human. Although, my heart was beating loudly in my chest, it had stopped dead in its tracks the day the Cullens left. For their hasty departure, I hated them. For their compassion and kindness, I loved them. It was a war that was raging within my mind. If they were to show back up, could I show them that I still loved them? Or, would it be the straw that broke the camel's back?
At some point, I must have drifted off while I was analyzing my thoughts. I was startled awake with the creaking of the rocking chair that sat over in the corner. So many times, for months on end, Edward would sit in that very chair and watch me sleep. I wanted so badly to wake up from this awful nightmare but I knew that my dreams were quickly becoming my reality. Again, my death crossed my mind. I sat up, hugging my pillow to my chest tightly wondering what or who had made that rocking chair move. I must be going crazy, I thought. There was nobody in the house, let alone in the room with me. There was a slight breeze coming from somewhere. I looked to my left and found that my bedroom window was open. Someone was here…
Squinting with the low light, I saw something was attached directly within my view of the window. I scrambled out of bed making my way over and found the dollar bill with the poem taped squarely in the middle of it. I pulled it down quickly, clearly freaked out by someone playing a sick joke. I stood in utter silence, not moving an inch as my heart raced in my chest. Edward? Victoria? Laurent? My life was coming to a close, when I heard the one voice I never thought I would hear…Ever!
"Darlin'."
"Jasper," I whispered.