Be warned: this is a parody so, funnily enough, it is also a complete and utter p&$%take. I don't really have that much against the pairing because, frankly, there are far worse, but I do find the idea of Snermione incredibly creepy. So, now that you know where this may go; if you really don't like parodies that much, don't read. Otherwise, I practically live on reviews so please don't let me starve. x

DICLAIMER: The entire universe, both real and magical, belongs to J.K. Rowling. Although Sirius Black would ideally be my bitch. X

DEDICATION: To Little Miss Insufferable, otherwise known as Pbush, my partner in crime for many far too many fandoms. Read it and weep/ gouge your eyes out lol. :) x

Forbidden Magic

Hermione caressed the smooth, rounded surface beneath her fingertips. It was naturally hard and warm to the touch; increasingly so now that she manipulated it with all the aptness of a skilled professional.

'Oh, Severus!' she moaned wistfully. 'It's so big!'

Hermione's grasp became firm as she stroked downwards to the leaking tip, her bound and gagged victim emitting a muffled cry that lay somewhere between pleasure and anguish, his wide eyes framed by the lank and greasy hair that somewhat enthralled her.

'Shhh!' Hermione whispered. 'We are almost there. Come on, that's it. That's the spot!'

Quickly, she sank to her knees and bit down. He jerked away as white hot liquid filled her mouth, the pure magical substance that warmed her better than firewhisky and that was far more satisfying than straight Outstandings. She cried out as her head lurched backwards and she came into her own.

Spent, Hermione rolled over and gazed up at Severus, grinning as he wriggled out of the restraints and wrenched the duct tape from his mouth. He looked oddly miffed.

'What did you do that for?' he spat. 'It hurt!'

'Well we coaxed it out of you, didn't we? That was what you wanted?' Hermione's lip began to curl; she was half amused, yet also annoyed. He should have been thanking her, considering that he was incapable of getting it out of his system alone.

'Yes, but surely there was another way? A charm perhaps, something more subtle?'

'Oh, I'm sorry! Well then, someone else can do it for you next time!'

She slunk away from the bed and back down the corridor to her dormitory, rolling her eyes in disbelief. The next time Severus Snape found his wand stuck unceremoniously up his arsehole, she most certainly was not going to be the one pulling it out.

Please feed the hungry review monster. She doesn't bite that much. MC. x