Wesley was walking through the cafeteria, looking for Dave and Connor. He was trying very hard to think about the science test he would have to take next period, instead of how cute Anya looked in her cheerleading uniform. After all, he didn't want another incident.

But as Anya entered the cafeteria IN UNIFORM with some of her power squad friends, that was becoming increasingly harder (pun intended) to do.

"Easy Wes, you don't have those pills anymore!" Dave said, coming up behind Wesley and patting him on the shoulder.

Wesley pried his eyes away from Anya and made a face at his friend.

"Let's just go get some juice." He mumbled, and he and Dave got in the lunch line.

Wesley's thoughts were still clouded so he wasn't paying attention as he walked to the end of the line, and he accidentally bumped into someone.

Please don't be a football player. He prayed silently, then turned to look at the person he'd hit.

He wasn't a football player. He was worse.

Eli Goldsworthy. The emo kid that almost got stabbed that drove a hearse.

Wesley was scared shitless of him.

"Uh…I…sorry!" Wesley squeaked.

Eli just smirked. "It's cool." He rolled his eyes a little at Wesley's reaction and then turned back to the food.

Dave got in line behind Wesley and started bugging him again about Anya.

"I still can't believe she went out with you!" Dave said jokingly.

"More than go out! She kissed me on the cheek!" Wesley defended himself.

Dave laughed. "Oo. The cheek! You've gone so far!" He teased.

Wesley frowned. "I have to! I touched a girl's," -he lowered his voice to a whisper- "breasts before! And she bit my neck!"

Dave just rolled his eyes and giggled silently to himself. Wesley could tell it was a lost cause and turned away.

He ended up turning in Eli's direction though and Eli had to stifle a laugh when Wesley looked at him. He must have over heard the conversation.

Wesley raised his eyebrows. For some reason the fact that Eli now knew Wesley had gone to second base made Eli seem a little less intimidating.

"Yeah, it's true you now." Wesley said, shoving his hands in his pockets and nodding, trying to look cool.

Eli just made a face. "I'm sure." He said.

Wesley knew he didn't believe him and he was getting sick of nobody believing he was capable of such a thing.

"No really! I did. Clare Edwards bit my neck and let me touch her boobs!"

Eli's mouth fell open and his eyes widened. His eyebrows furrowed.

"…what?" He asked quietly.

Wesley nodded. "Yeah, and sure, maybe she was a little freaked out and pushed me away but I still felt them!" Wesley said, crossing his arms and nodding. Maybe now someone would FINALLY think he was cool…

Eli's eyes narrowed and he took a step towards Wesley.

"You mean…you groped Clare Edwards, my girlfriend, against her will?" Eli was standing right in front of him.

Wesley went white in the face. "Uhh…uh..Clare's your uh….girlfriend?" He spluttered. Eli raised his eyebrows and smiled evilly.

Wesley dropped his books, food, and flute and ran out of the cafeteria. This was worse than the time Riley had called him a homophobe. What if Eli ran him over and threw him in the back of his car? That's what it's meant for anyway.

This thought made Wesley run faster.

"Hey, uh, Eli." Dave tapped Eli on the shoulder and he turned around.

"So basically this chick started a rumor that Clare got a boob job, right? But she really just got laser eye surgery. When Wesley heard she'd gotten surgery he asked if he could touch them, meaning her boobs, but Clare thought he meant her eyes, so she said okay, and Wesley, he didn't know any better, he's just an inexperienced little boy!" Dave attempted to defend his friend.

Eli just smirked. "Um…that's weird, but…it makes sense. Sort of. Don't worry, I'm not gonna kill your friend." Eli's smirk widened and Dave sighed with relief. Eli rolled his eyes.

"Here…" Eli said, picking up Wesley's things and handing them to Dave, "The inexperienced little boy dropped his things."