my (slightly revised) entry for a contest the Baljeet/Buford DA group had a while back. i totally forgot to post it here, too.

lots of love to everyone who voted for it, btw!

"Are you not hearing me?"

Buford blinked. Of course he wasn't. That warm scented mix of cooking spices and patchouli never seemed to keep him focused for very long- not that his focus was ever known for sticking around.

"Yeah," Buford grunted, startled but defensive.

Baljeet leaned over his bed, one palm pressed hard onto his satchel, attempting in vain to keep in the over flow of spirals, folders, and work books. Expectantly, he held out his other hand to Buford. The bully did nothing but continue to stand by the bedroom door and stare.

And though Buford seemed all too fine with ogling the other boy, Baljeet could look anywhere but.

The nerd was more surprised than anything that Buford even showed up this morning. There had been a silent but clear agreement the afternoon before to never speak of it again, and Baljeet expected at least three or more days of distance before they could ever do anything together again.

And for some reason, the fact that Buford seemed to have gotten over it so easily frustrated him.

Frowning, the smaller boy repeated his request; "Hand me my pencil case?"

When Buford still wouldn't budge, Baljeet did his best to keep from rolling his eyes. "Please?"

As if snapping out of a hypnotist's skit, Buford suddenly crossed his arms. "I don't respond to magic words."

Baljeet grit his teeth. "How can I forget."

Grudgingly he left the pack, already straining and spilling of its contents, to cross his room and grab the case sitting mere inches away from Buford's reach.

Buford scoffed. "Was that so hard?"

Instead of wasting another beat arguing, Baljeet collected his books and folders a second time and crammed everything back into his satchel.

He took a deep breath before slipping the strap over his shoulder. Another moment to brace himself and he was able to lift the bag off of the bed. It was airborne for a good second before gravity regained hold and yanked Baljeet to the floor- he crashed with a small cry.

When Baljeet opened his eyes several seconds later, it was to find that Buford had left his perch to stand at his side and expectantly, almost patiently, hold out a hand to him. Baljeet found himself trapped in headlights.

A normal Buford would have grabbed him by the scruff, tossed him over his shoulder and left for school minutes ago, irritated that it was taking so long to get ready. But the bully actually waited for Baljeet to take the favor.

He certainly seemed to be handling denial well, at least better than Baljeet was.

Baljeet smacked the hand away and pushed himself up.

Pulling his hand back, Buford tried to play off his slip of concern. "Just strap the whole locker to your back, why don't you."

Like every morning, Buford was empty handed. Not even a thin, empty back pack was slung over his shoulder.

"I do not need scholarly advice from you." Baljeet retorted primly, brushing off the back of his jeans.

With a curt turn and a straining effort, Baljeet hoisted his bag back onto the bed. He took out a text and a few note books and decided to carry them under his other arm.

The bag now light enough not to topple him over, the boys left for the street.

They always spent time together, always "hung out". By definition, they could have been best friends. Even if Buford treated him in ways anyone but a friend would, they still had conversations, however argumentative they usually ended up. There was always something to bicker over.

Yet this morning they had gone more than a few blocks without a single word between them.

Baljeet never really hated Buford. He feared him, grew to tolerate him, and eventually even learned how to manipulate him in small ways. A head that was more fat and muscle than brains wasn't at all hard to influence.

He was still unsure, however, exactly what Buford thought of him. He would have originally sought the nerd out for the small, easy target he was, of course- but as they grew, so did Baljeet's spurns against his harassment. Even so, Buford still came around. He continued to make footholds in Baljeet's nerves, and Baljeet continued to counter back with bark and sometimes even bite. Still, Buford never dumped him in exchange for someone with less of a spine and in turn Baljeet never tried too hard to push him away completely.

Baljeet watched the pavement slip beneath their feet. Whatever they were to each other now, he could be sure that they had started out at odds. Was there even such a thing as a relationship built on hate?

"Well?" Baljeet finally glanced up to his left.

Buford kept his straight and silent act.

Again, Baljeet repeated himself.

"Well what?"

There was no question of what exactly had happened, but only the why their distance had finally been closed. Why had it been then and there, why Buford hadn't the care of their surroundings, why Baljeet hadn't the mind to pull away immediately.

A when could be asked, as well. Maybe even a how. But the nerd was only concerned now with why Buford did what he did, and why he himself couldn't just shake it off.

"Is it really going to be forgotten?"

Buford narrowed his eyes, but didn't look beside him. "Not if you keep bringing it up."

What happens in an empty second floor hallway stays in an empty second floor hallway, doesn't it.

But, Baljeet held his ground. It could not lord over them for who knew how long. There were times to back away and times to jam your foot in the door. Baljeet wasn't sure which one of those times this was but, if Buford was going to hide behind a stone slate of silence and fists, he had to pick a course and stick with it.

"Not as if I care about the why," he lied, "but do you expect us to just continue as we are?"

Buford thought that was already the plan. Even if they hadn't quite made it mutual, it seemed like the only sane thing to do. The nerd should have been smart enough to figure it out himself.

"I don't have anything to say. Why do you?"

Though he had been caught off guard, Baljeet opened his mouth to answer.

Buford groaned. "That wasn't a question."

They fell back into silence. After another crosswalk, Baljeet hugged his books to his chest. "I do not need more to worry about. iYou/i should not even be anywhere close to that list."

Buford gave in. "So what do you want, genius?" He mentally swore that he'd do anything to shut the nerd up, at this point.

"Exactly not that." Baljeet stopped on the sidewalk, bringing the bully to a halt with him. "You cannot be concerned with how I feel! And I cannot have any say in what you do."

He was firm in his ruling.

Buford wasn't sure how to respond, at first. "Ey, you're the one that opened your mouth," he shrugged at last, trying to look as indifferent as he thought possible.

"That- I was-" Baljeet stammered, flustered. He suddenly became indignant. "What was I supposed to do? You come out of nowhere and expect me to just…"

Buford simply looked at him, brow raised.

Catching his own mistake too late, Baljeet tried to play off the slip of recollection. "Never mind. We will go back to normal."

"Fine."

"Fine."

They turned away from each other.

Normal. Buford frowned as Baljeet cleared his throat and recommenced their route.

It was hard enough trying to define the supposed boundaries they were to have always had. Caring about the feelings of the other was definitely out of the question, not to mention even having those feelings in the first place.

They were two completely opposite forces, both drawn together and kept apart by their differences. Not quite enemies, not exactly friends- yet neither could stay away for too long.

And where was the normalcy in that.

Baljeet walked with purpose and forced confidence, his free hand balled at his side into a small fist. Buford found it hard to come up with a rebuttal. Let alone a word. Maybe words could just never be enough. Even if Baljeet had been so set to bring it up moments before, he certainly wouldn't be now, not after insisting they have a denial pact. Discussing their relationship (even just the notion that they could possibly be in any kind of a relationship) would have no place in the nerds' idea of being normal.

So Buford merely followed after, plagued again by the twisted, now double knotted feelings low in his gut. His eyes kept falling to Baljeet's tight fist. Those erratic but oh so effective lapses into assertiveness where what really kept the bully around. Buford came for his meekness and tolerance, but ultimately stayed for his intense eyes, pretty frowns and short temper. They were the exact reasons why he did what he did the afternoon before.

And they were the exact reasons why he was about to do what he was about to do now.

Without hesitation, Buford reached out and grabbed hold of Baljeet's wrist.

Baljeet's hand loosened in shock at the touch, letting Buford easily pry it open and shove his fingers through the smaller digits.

The nerd jumped when he looked down and realized what Buford had accomplished. Baljeet immediately planted his feet and tried to yank his hand free.

"Bu- Buford-"

" I'm doin' without askin'." Not stopping, the bully successfully kept Baljeet dragging along after him.

"This is not what I meant," Baljeet tugged again at his wrist. "You know this is not what I meant."

Buford wouldn't look at him. "Like I care."

Losing patience, Baljeet turned to pleading. "We cannot-" pull "be seen- " jerk.

"Hey, guys!"

Baljeet instantly deflated. His composure down and Buford's defenses up, they both peered behind them.

While Buford gave Phineas passive recognition, Baljeet was able only to let out a strangled "Hello".

The smiling red head didn't give any second thought to Buford's extra surliness, Baljeet's extra jumpiness, or to the even stranger fact that they were holding hands.

He was followed in tow by Ferb, who did a double take at their hands but looked unconcerned, and Isabella, who was too busy looking for something in her bag to notice the development just yet.

Baljeet hadn't even realized that they had walked clear past their friends' street.

"Get a late start?" Phineas looked at Baljeet, then Buford.

"Runty just needs a bag big enough for the tri-state area."

"I could have slept better."

They spoke quickly and at the same time, leaving Phineas to share a shrug with his step-brother and take their responses as reasonable.

"We'd better get going, guys." Isabella suddenly piped up, fixing her back pack over her shoulder. She slipped into place between the brothers and Buford and Baljeet let the trio pass ahead so they could fall behind. Baljeet could have sworn she flashed him a small grin.

Once Isabella had Phineas chatting about something else, Baljeet attempted to inconspicuously raise his head. "What are you doing?" he asked in a trilling whisper. "This will not only affect me."

"I know," Buford hissed right back. He hugged the smaller hand tighter.

Baljeet winced, but went on; "Why?" There were far too many why's swimming around in his head. He didn't quite know which one he wanted, or even expected, to be answered.

Buford grunted something inaudible in response.

"Can we not settle this later-"

"Since when do you get any say?"

Face hot, Baljeet looked away in a huff.

There was now the why did he even bring up the kiss in the first place. Buford seemed to have done well with going back to his usual self, and Baljeet should have just begun to repress it as well. There was no reason to undo their stitches; it only caused their current situation, and goaded the idea that they could be together at all.

Which, Baljeet had firmly told himself the night before, they just couldn't be.

The fact that Buford was the only one who bullied him, and that he was the only one ever consistently bullied by Buford, had crossed Baljeet's mind more than once. That was a commitment in itself. They already belonged to each other, even if only within the roles of a bully and a nerd.

So Buford didn't care what others thought of him, and maybe Baljeet didn't have any real reason to, either. Buford was still the biggest, toughest kid at school, after all. As long as the arm Baljeet was under was his, they could be whatever they were together without worry.

The day a kid picks something with Buford will be the same day Baljeet scores an A-.

Baljeet relented. He bit his lip and closed his fingers around Buford's hand.

After a moment, Buford's hold slackened a bit and he finally glanced over at his nerd.

Baljeet's eyes were glued to the back of their friends' shoes, but he felt the look. Fine.

Another step could ruin everything between them. Their relationship could not possibly withstand any more tension but, there was something there and they were ready to find out what it was.

And then again, another step could be just what they needed.

Ahead of them, Isabella glanced back to discretely check in on the scene.

"Hmm," she hummed quietly, looking back ahead. "What took them?"

"Oh, Buford said something about Baljeet's sleeping bags' area," Phineas chirped.

"They were measuring sleeping bags?" she humored him.

Ferb simply shrugged. "Can't imagine them making more sense."