Sorry this took so long to post up, but I got caught up with Impossible for the past few months.

…

It was only after Stan left the hospital room that I finally allowed myself a moment of weakness and broke down into tears.

After Stan had stopped the Goth kids from whipping Butters to death, an ambulance had been called and taken the small blonde to Hell's Pass Hospital. I wasn't allowed to ride in the ambulance with him to the hospital, instead I rode with Stan. We talked very little the entire way here, but what we did say will forever remain in my mind…

…

I dropped down into the passenger's seat of Stan's Ford Taurus as I heard the ambulance's siren start up as the ambulance drove away towards Hell's Pass. My eyes were trained on my hands, still coated in the blood of my boyfriend. How could this have happened? How could I have fallen for Cartman's dirty fucking trick that easily? I should've known that he'd try something like this! I hung my head and bit my bottom lip to prevent a sob from breaking through. The blood was beginning to dry, sticking to me worse than syrup. I needed to wash my hands of the blood, to get the feeling of Butters' suffering off of me.

"…Kenny," Stan said suddenly from the driver's seat.

I looked up at him and realized that we were nearly to the hospital. How long had I been zoned out? "What?"

"You okay?"

"Y…Yeah…"

Stan was silent for a few more moment before saying, "It's not your fault dude."

I balled my hands into fists and then slowly straightened my fingers back out. I wasn't going to do that again since the blood was getting so sticky that it was too difficult to flex my fingers. "I…I know…"

"I don't think you do."

"Stan, I…" I sighed sadly and leaned against the closed door of the Taurus with my hands resting on my legs, palms facing up towards the roof. "It is my fault Stan. I wasn't there to protect Butters and even when I did get there, I couldn't do anything to help him," I glanced out of the window at the passing houses and shops, "I'm useless."

"You aren't useless Kenny. You were being restrained by four people bigger than you; there was no way you'd have been able to do anything."

My eyes narrowed. I knew Stan was just trying to be a good friend and comfort me, but I didn't want to hear the excuses he was trying to tell me to accept. "If I had tried just a little harder, then…maybe…"

Stan sighed. "Kenny, I know how you feel," his hands tightened on the steering wheel, "I really know how you fucking feel, but there was nothing you could do."

I glared over at my old friend. "How could you possibly understand how I feel right now?"

"Because," he shot a glare at right back at me, "Kyle called me not too long ago and told me that Clyde raped him."

My eyes widened. Clyde raped Kyle? But that…that was impossible! Clyde loved Kyle; he'd never do anything to hurt him like that, even if he found out about him and Stan! "Dude, that's not funny!"

"I'm being serious! Clyde raped Kyle!" Stan ground his teeth together and sent his glare out of the windshield. "I could've been there to prevent it! I could've stopped Clyde!"

Stan…was being serious. My mouth dropped open just slightly. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Clyde really did it; he really did that to Kyle, the man he always said he loved more than life, his fiancé. I moved to rest my hand on Stan's arm but stopped when I remembered it was covered in blood. Instead I said, "You couldn't do anything about that though. It happened after you left the apartment."

Stan sighed and pulled the Taurus into the emergency room parking lot of Hell's Pass Hospital. "I shouldn't have left him alone. My gut told me not to, but I still did." He threw the car into park and looked over at me. "Tell me something Kenny, how did Cartman get into Butters' home to leave him that note?"

I bit my bottom lip and cleared my throat so a sob couldn't get through my mouth. "He called me and said that he wanted to talk to me about, well, us. For some reason, I believed him and I went to the high school to meet up with him. I guess he snuck into the house sometime when I was gone." I sighed. "Maybe this is a sign that I don't deserve him…that we're not meant to be together…"

"…What's it feel like when you kiss Butters?"

I raised an eyebrow. That was an odd question. "It feels like a bolt of lightening is passing right through me. I never wanna let him go, I just wanna hold him there forever."

"Then, can you answer another question?"

I turned my head to look at his face. "What?"

Suddenly, Stan's lips connected with my own passionately. In an automatic response, I opened my mouth and allowed his tongue access when I felt him flicking my bottom lip. Our tongues swirled around each other, fighting for dominance as we both moaned and he grabbed at my parks. We stayed like that for a minute more before Stan finally pulled away.

When I realized what had just happened, I pulled farther away from Stan and pressed up against the door. "What the hell was that about?" What was Stan doing? I'm not a whore anymore; I haven't been for years, so he couldn't have known about that part of my life. What was he thinking? What was he doing to Kyle?

He smiled innocently. "Did that feel anything like when you kiss Butters?"

"Well, no, but why…?"

"Then you have nothing to worry about. Go in there, and when Butters wakes up, give him a passionate kiss like what we just shared. If it's still there, then don't worry, you're meant for each other."

My eyes widened with realization. I smiled warmly at him. "Thanks dude."

"No problem. Now," Stan cut the engine and opened the driver's side door, "let's go in."

…

I looked over at where Butters was lying in a hospital bed as he groaned and stirred slowly from his sleep. My hands were clean now, so I grabbed onto his hand and squeezed it lightly.

"Butters?" I breathed out.

He groaned a bit more and then looked over at me with fear-filled eyes. "K-Ken? Why are you here?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't know Cartman was gonna hurt you." I leaned over the bed to be hovering over his face. "I swear I didn't have anything to do with it," a single tear ran from my eye, "I really didn't."

As I connected our lips together passionately, I could feel the heat coming from my boyfriend's bright red face. When I flicked his lips with my tongue, he allowed me access. Without a fight, Butters submitted and melted into me. Our kiss felt the same as always, a bolt of lightening past right through me, my heart sped up so that I could hear it in my ears, and I could feel my own face flush red. I never wanted it to end, it was just too perfect even though he was in a hospital bed.

I pulled my tongue out of his mouth and kissed the corner of his lips chastely. I leaned back and saw the tears in his eyes. Quickly, I wiped them away. "What's wrong baby?"

A sob slipped past Butters' lips. "I still l-love you Ken! But I don't w-want to, not after what y-you tricked me into!"

My eyes widened as more tears spilled from them. I rested my forehead against the top of his hand and tried holding back sobs of my own, but failing miserably. "I didn't have anything to do with it, please believe me! It was Cartman! Please, please believe me baby! I begging you, don't hate me!" I kissed the top of his hand and looked up at him so I could look into his eyes. "Don't hate me…"