(Van)Gogh-ing Overboard

09/30/10

Daria rose, eyes wide with urgency and ran to answer the frantic banging at the front door. It swung inward to reveal Jane, wild-eyed and clutching a small gift box as blood ran down the right side of her neck from the hole where her ear had once been.

Daria was speechless and, pale and sweating, Jane thrust the box at her friend.

"S'for you," she muttered, swaying on the verge of collapse. Daria snatched the box, got an arm around Jane's waist and dragged her to the couch.

"Jane, what the hell happened?"

The brunette shook her head, causing a few blood drops to spatter over the upholstory.

"Open it."

Dubiously, Daria did.

"What the FUCK?"

"Love you, Daria," Jane muttered as Daria gaped over the ear nestled in the box where it sat on a square of bloody cotton.

"What the hell did you do?"

"Our love," Jane slurred, head rolling on the back of the couch as she gazed forlornly at her companion. "Could never be."

"Why the hell not?"

Jane blinked. "Huh?"

"Jane, you could have come and talked to me– you didn't have to lop off your ear and bring it over in a box!"

"But–"

Daria leaned close and got a good whiff of Jane's breath as the woozy girl struggled with this simple concept. Daria recoiled at the strong stink of alcohol.

"Jane, have you been drinking rubbing alcohol again?"

Jane managed to look sheepish through the gore dripping down her face and neck.

"Trent finished the beer."

Daria covered her face with her hands and took several deep breaths, trying not to scream at the absurdity and insanity of the situation.

"So... you love me?"

Daria's left pinky twitched, the only outward sign of her distress.

"You're my best friend. Of course I love you."

"Then I didn't need to do this?" Daria dropped her hands and shot Jane a glare, topped with a quirked brow as if to say 'well, duh.' Jane looked down at the ear on the coffee table, then her bloody hands. "Daria, I think I have to go to the hospital."

Daria sighed as she stood and started toward the kitchen.

"I'll get my keys." And a bag of ice. The asymmetrical look was cool and all, but one ear was going a bit far.

La la LA la laaa.

Alpacca Bites: Because artists are fucking crazy.