A/N: Just a little fic for my favourite pair, Miroku and Sango. I'm trying to put Miroku in a different light here, to show another side of him that's not all flirting and groping women. I seem to think that many people exaggerate that part of him a little too much. But that's just my opinion. :3 Please R&R, and enjoy!
It was in all of them. Each and every single member of the Inutachi, apart from Shippo and Kirara, had their own innermost fears. The battles helped them to forget, the time they spent together helped them to move forwards and the fight against Naraku provided them with a reason to keep on fighting, to get their revenge so they could have that one closure that they need in order to move on. Every single person fights his own battles, and the battle within could never leave them until they manage to come through with it.
For Inuyasha, the inner battle was for himself and Kikyo. Their love, and his hope of becoming a human to remain with the young and beautiful miko was shattered with Naraku's plot of obtaining the Shikon jewel. He could not forgive himself for what had happened, even if Naraku was solely responsible for the tragedy. Inuyasha, who had promised himself to love and care for Kikyo, the one person who had given him a chance at a good life, found himself betraying that promise due to Naraku's treachery.
For Kagome, the inner battle was within herself. She had seen, countless times, how Inuyasha had chased after Kikyo, how hurt he was every time he laid his eyes on her or heard her name from passing villagers. Even Kaede's hut, the one place they were able to return to, held bitter memories for the hanyou. Kagome, who had undoubtedly fallen in love with the hanyou, faced the dilemma on whether her feelings should be revealed or not. She was from a different era. Inuyasha still loved Kikyo, and would always love her. Kagome believed that she would only be second best compared to the hanyou's first love. As long as Naraku wasn't defeated, she wouldn't know.
For Miroku, it was the wind tunnel in his hand, like a small black hole that sucked everything inside. Even himself, eventually, if he could not stop the curse. It was etched so deep in his heart, his desire to have a wife and child, but he would not have a child of his suffer such a pain that he himself had experienced when he was still a young boy. Sure he flirted with many women out there, but only to conceal what he wanted most. He had done the mistake of falling in love with a taijiya, with Sango. As frightened he was of loving her, he was more scared of losing her.
The Inutachi was well aware of each of the members' internal fights. It was what bound them together, what made them able to move as a group in order to fight Naraku. There weren't enough words or comfort that one member could give another to settle the feeling, and each one of the Inutachi could only give a silent understanding of the others' pain, yet unable to do anything to relieve them from it.
Sango, of course, was no exception to these internal fights.
It was nearing dusk. The taijiya, still dressed in her demon-slaying clothes, sat a good distance away from the edge of the village. She was hugging her knees, looking down at the never-ending forest and land ahead of her. The hill where the village was located provided Sango with a good bird's eye view of the landscape, and her eyes darted here and there searchingly even though she knew that the attempt was futile. Even if he was out there, he was a demon slayer. Even if he was out there, his clothes provided the best camouflage to keep him hidden. Even if he was out there, the last thing he wanted to be was to be near her.
Her brother, Kohaku.
They had encountered him earlier, once again controlled by Naraku as he led a demon attack to the village they were staying in now. As usual, she had chased after him, trying to wake him from his slumber as he was controlled by the Shikon Shard embedded behind his neck. But, like all attempts before this, she had failed. No amount of fighting, no amount of tears or pleas could make him be her little brother again. He had managed to release himself from the Shikon shard's control only once, and the look on his face was nothing but pure, absolute horror. Horror upon seeing his own sister. He attacked her swiftly, even in his conscious state, knowing that she was a good enough demon slayer to be able to avoid his attack without hurting him – but that took time on her part and he disappeared, leaving her alone with Kirara.
As Sango remembered this, she pressed her face closer to her arms, her eyes rimmed with tears that were already tired of falling. Kirara sat by her feet, her tails twitching anxiously as she watched her. She had tried to nudge Sango to her feet again earlier, but when the taijiya was in this state, even her beloved Kirara could do nothing else.
In the distance, Miroku's voice could be heard as he cleansed the village from wandering souls, providing them with safety once again. His prayers were comforting to the taijiya and she listened as Miroku's voice got closer, then fading away, then getting closer again as the monk walked through different parts of the village. This was one of the moments where Miroku shone as a monk and not some pervert that he always seemed to be. Kagome, Inuyasha and Shippo was nowhere in earshot, but Sango wasn't interested in turning and searching for them. They all knew that it was best to leave the taijiya alone with her thoughts for now.
Sango did not know how long she remained that way, lost in her thoughts except to listen to whatever sound comes to her ears. The wind blew her hair gently, drying the tears that threatened to escape her eyes. Soon enough, she stopped looking for her brother from the view below and remained completely still. Kirara mewed, pawing her feet several times, but with no success. The only thing that got Sango's attention was a charm that suddenly dangled in front of her eyes, blocking her view of the forest below.
She raised her head slightly and the charm vanished from sight, replaced with the sight of a familiar monk dressed in dark blue robe. Miroku was smiling, perhaps a little too widely, and he presented her with the charm as he crouched on one knee beside her, facing her with his hand extended.
"For you, my fair lady. With this, you will obtain happiness and strength, finding yourself in a new world devoid of worries or sadness," he said sincerely.
Sango made no move to accept the charm. She sighed and turned her eyes away from him. "Don't you have somewhere else you need to be? This village isn't exactly out of women, you know," she said bitterly. Kirara mewed again, but Sango paid no attention. She was in no mood to entertain the monk.
Miroku jumped up suddenly, as if delighted. "You are right! There are many pretty ladies here, and they shall be serving dinner soon. Come, Sango, we shall have a feast! Today has been a success despite the damage that has happened. At least we should be grateful and eat so we can move again tomorrow," he said, walking back towards the village. He stopped in his tracks and looked over his shoulder, but the taijiya made no move to follow suit. Miroku's eyes softened, knowing full well that it wasn't easy to make Sango be herself again after an encounter with Kohaku.
Sango had expected Miroku to leave her alone, but she was proven wrong as Miroku suddenly came from behind and sat down close beside her, his face unreadable. He said nothing, only gazing into the distance, but the silence was not awkward. Sango knew Miroku had understood. Sometimes, silence was the only suitable company when no words could comfort someone. Suddenly, Sango felt ashamed of herself, and she was overwhelmed with guilt when she remembered what she had said to the houshi earlier. It was unfair on her part, and she should not have allowed her sadness to snap at him.
"Miroku... I'm sorry. About earlier. I shouldn't have –"
"It's fine, Sango," Miroku cut her off, turning his deep eyes towards her. Sango felt her cheeks grow hotter but she did not turn her eyes away. "I understand that you must feel very sad about Kohaku," he said softly. As soon as her brother's name reached her ears, Sango turned away, hurt. Even hearing the name was enough to feel as if a knife had just pierced her heart.
"That's enough, Miroku," Sango said quietly.
The houshi understood. At times like these, he knew that Sango was at her most fragile, and it was difficult to get her back. He said nothing else, but proceeded to put a comforting arm around her back, pulling her closer to him. At first, Sango wanted to pull away, but then she decided that perhaps she needed the comfort. After all, the monk's arm was a good length away from being disturbing. She loosened her tense muscles and allowed herself to lean her body against the monk, sighing slightly. She felt Miroku's hand moving down, taking her hand in his, and something slipped between her fingers before the houshi's hand moved back to rest against her arm.
Sango brought the item in her hand to her face, noticing that it was the charm that Miroku had dangled in front of her face earlier. A charm of happiness, he had said. She opened her mouth to speak, but Miroku cut her off;
"I know at times like these, you feel as if you're alone facing hardship. When it comes to you and Kohaku, we can do no more than to lend you our support. But don't feel as if that makes you alone in this world. In the end, we all wish that for you," Miroku said, nodding towards the charm. "Your happiness."
A tear escaped from Sango's right eye and she wiped it away, pretending as if something had gotten in it. But it came to her that above all, Miroku was right. She wasn't alone. She never was. She had Inuyasha and Kagome. She had Shippo. She had always been with her Kirara. And most importantly, she had Miroku. The burden should not need to be held alone on her shoulders, not when there were people who were willing to make it lighter for her. And after so long, Sango decided to cast away the shell she had placed around herself.
She turned to the houshi's shoulder and cried.