Hikarishipping for Fire Drastar. It's got a lot of humour in it. And a couple of swear words.

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"Hikari, where are you going?" The former tomb robber looked up to see Ryou putting his coat on.

"I'm going round to Malik's. Marik's coming round here, so you won't be bored." Ryou opened the door and nearly stepped out, before remembering something. "And please try to stay out of trouble." Bakura just grunted in response.

Around ten minutes later the door burst open and Marik sauntered in before collapsing on the sofa with Bakura.

"Why are you watching the TV?" Bakura shrugged.

"It's interesting."

"...It's not even on."

"I know."

"And people call me crazy."

Meanwhile in the Game Shop...

"But, Aibou, I need you here-"

"No, Yami, I have to go to Malik's. You need to stay here and guard the shop."

"But what if you get attacked? What if Marik is there? What if Bakura and Marik come here?"

"Then you need to be here to stop Bakura-klepto from stealing anything. Goodbye." And with that Yugi walked out of the Game Shop.

Back at Bakura's...

"How did Malik get you out of the house this time?"

"He threatened to tell Ishizu that it was me who ate her cat."

"...I thought she already knew that." Marik shook his head.

"Different cat."

"Oh." There was a pause. "Did it taste any different?"

"Nope. It still tasted like fur." Bakura blinked.

"You're not supposed to eat the fur. You're supposed to skin it."

Back at the Game Shop...

Yami was playing Duel Monsters against himself.

"I shall defeat you, foul villain! Now I lay these two cards face down and play Magnet Warrior Alpha in Attack mode!" He then put down his hand and ran over to the other side.

"Ore-no Turn! Draw!" He looked at the card. "I play Pot of Greed! Now I Special summon Watapon to the field, the sacrifice it to play Dark Magician Girl! I set two cards face down, and attack!" He then ran to the other side of the field.

"Activate Trap, Mirror Force!"

"Activate Trap, Seven tools of the Bandit! I pay one thousand life points to negate the effect of Mirror Force!" He then ran to the other side of the table.

"I activate the spell, Magical Hats!" He then ran to the other side.

"But I activate De-spell, meaning that the attack goes through."

"No! You will pay for that!"

"I don't think so!"

Yami really was getting a kick out of beating himself. It was an advantage when you knew exactly what the other player (yourself) had played.

Back at Bakura's...

"Do you know what our hikaris are actually doing when they get together?"

"...Hot sex?" Bakura stared at his supposed best friend.

"Please, Marik, be sensible. Our hikaris are too innocent for that."

There was a brief pause in which both yamis stared at the TV (which still wasn't on).

"Hey, Bakura, want to go annoy the Pharaoh?"

And back (once again) to the Game Shop...

"And now I use Sage's Stone to allow Dark Magician Girl to call forth her master; behold, the DARK MAGICIAN!" And he slapped the card on the table, before running round to the other side.

"Oh no, not him!"

"Yes! And now, my Dark Magician will attack your Dark Magician Girl! And then Dark Magician Girl will finish off with a direct attack!"

"NOOO! How could I lose?" Yami sank to the floor clutching his head, before running back around.

"Ha!" He made a dramatic pose, one hand pointing towards his "opponent", the other on his hip. "I have won, and the world is saved!"

"Having fun there, Yami?" A cold, sarcastic sneer made him quickly drop the pose. Bakura and Marik stood there; very amused expressions on their faces. He dropped his hand, an unhappy look crossing his face before it was replaced with an angry one.

"What are you two doing here?"

"Well, we were watching you play Duel Monsters against yourself, but now, we're just going to annoy you until you try and send us to the Shadow Realm. And then we'll annoy you some more because you can't catch us."

"You've already succeeded in annoying me, so why don't you try a different goal?"

"Ah, Pharaoh was having fun being defeated by himself!" Bakura fake cooed.

"Oh, I know!" Marik jumped up and down waving his hand in the air, making the saner yamis sweat-drop a little. "Let's go see what the hikaris are doing!"

Bakura's eyebrows raised.

"Actually, that's not a bad idea." He then grabbed Yami's wrist and dragged him out, Marik bouncing along behind. "You're coming too, Pharaoh."

"Don't I get any say in the matter?"

"No."

They walked/bounced for a couple of miles, in which none of them remembered that they had a car, which would have been much quicker, before finally arriving at the Ishtar house.

Bakura finally let go of Yami's wrist, and sneakily tip-toed up to the house. Making the other two yamis raise their eyebrows and snicker.

"And he calls me insane."

"Look, this is what you're supposed to do. And I'm a thief, so I should kn-Holy shit!" Bakura had just look through the open window, before ducking down, his eyes wide. Marik and Yami looked at each other, before looking at the traumatized thief.

They shrugged, then went up to the house and looked through the window like Bakura had done.

"Holy shit!"

"I told you so." Bakura chided them as they sat down with him. "I must say though Marik, you called it." Said being of darkness just nodded, currently too shocked to actually make a noise. "Marik?" Bakura waved his hand in front of his best friend's glazed expression. "Crap. I think they broke him."

If you're wondering what it was that broke Marik and traumatized the other two, well...

Yugi and Ryou were snogging in the middle of the living room, hands all over each other. Malik was behind Yugi, licking his ear and with one hand down Yugi's trousers; the other hand having sneaked round onto Ryou's ass. While this wasn't very explicit, it certainly became very explicit as the yamis watched.

Bakura was currently wondering whether he should have known about this, and whether every time Ryou had been round to see his "friends" this was what they were really doing. No wonder he was always so happy. Of course, this whole train of thought brought Bakura to another idea, one which he voiced to his companions like this:

"Maybe we should try it?"

LINE BREAK. END OF STORY.

Hope you like it! Think of it as a late Christmas present! R&R!