Cold Hands, Warm Heart

Slowly opening her bright chocolate eye Jane Rizzoli thought about what month and day it was, something she did automatically now. It was June. June twenty- fourth to be exact and that marked the hundredth and ninety- third day of how long Jane had been away from home. In those seven months, she had gone through enough hell to make her fully appreciate what she had back home. She had had a family that loved her unconditionally, friends who always had her back and a woman more special to her than the rest of the world.

Sitting up and rubbing the angel dust from her eyes, tiredly swinging her feet over the side of the bed and slowly pushing herself out of bed did she begin to think things over. Jane was truly beginning to realize that maybe, just maybe, it was time to go back and beg forgiveness. She'd had enough of the people around here, she was tiered of the way things were run and the way no one seemed to care. She wanted to go home; she wanted to be with her family, eat her Ma's gnocchi and playfully tease Maura when she was acting quirky. Now the hardest part was making her heart agree with what her head had decided. Her heart was still too scared to go back, whilst her head refused to let the debate die.

Tiredly she trudged down to her bathroom, turned on the water to the shower, stripped and stepped into the steaming flow of water. Jane knew it was going to be tough going back home, knowing that everyone would for a long time hold it against her and she also knew that a few things would never be the same. Pondering way's to maybe lessen the hatred that would be aimed at her she thought of a few things. Maybe if she promised to stay with her mother for a few months then she wouldn't be murdered by her family. She would happily buy coffee for everyone at department and deal with all of their crap if it meant she would get her job back and possibly get her friends back, though she knew it would take a lot of convincing on her part and a lot of work to get their trust again.

Turning the water off, she stepped out of the tub and began to dry herself off with a towel, un-abash fully walking around her apartment nude while getting her breakfast out, thinking over the hardest part of going back home .What could she do about Maura though? She had just left her, quite literally, standing on the side of the road as the last time they saw each other, the last words they had said to each other were not the kindest and Jane had a distinct feeling that Maura would be the hardest to win back.

Stilling her movements of pouring herself a bowl of cereal Jane was honest with herself, she knew that she might never get to be the same type of friend that she was with Maura again, and that was what hurt the most, knowing that she may have permanently lost the best person she had ever met because she couldn't handle seeing her with someone else.

Grumpily she poured out the rest of her cereal and poured in the milk before aggressively eating it, while still in her birthday suit leaning against her kitchen counter. Jane swore to herself that she didn't care if she was Maura's brides maid in her wedding, she would never let her unrequited love take her away from Maura again, mostly because Jane knew in her heart that being away from Maura for so long was a major reason she was doing so poorly, why her health was failing and why she look as terrible as she did.

Finishing her meal, she roughly tossed the dishes into her sink and headed back to her room to get dressed, knowing that for the hundredth and ninety- third day in a row, her heart had won, she wasn't going back. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts and getting out of her apartment though that she didn't notice the five new messages on her machine, didn't notice the piece of paper taped to her door. All Jane noticed was the time and how at the moment she was running late for work.

Arriving to work late never settled well for Jane here, back home it was ok because she knew how her boss would react and she knew that no matter what, at the end of the day she would have a job. Here she knew that her boss truly did not care who was employed under him, just that there were people solving the cases. Sighing and running her hand through her damp hair, did she rush into the building and sit heavily at her desk.

Seeing the all too familiar note sitting precariously on her desk did Jane growl and tear it off the wooden surface, crumpling it and throwing it away, knowing that it was Aurelia again asking for another night with her. Jane shook her head at how oblivious that woman was and how she just didn't seem to get the hint that Jane was not interested in her.

Logging into her computer she quickly opened her email, but before she could notice that she had two new emails from someone she hadn't talked to about seven months, did her partner call over to her saying that the class Jane taught had been moved up and hour and was scheduled to start in on five minutes time. Cursing under her breath, she closed out her email without looking at it, logged off and rushed to her classroom.

There were things Jane had missed this morning, very important things. She didn't listen to the five messages from a friend she hadn't heard the voice of in seven months telling her of an incident that had happened only the day before. She hadn't noticed the note taped to her door from her landlord saying that some gentleman from Boston had called him inquiring about Jane's whereabouts. Finally Jane had not read the two emails in her inbox, both written with nothing but urgency in their content. Jane had ignored a lot of important things this morning and she was going to be in for one long day because of it.

Jane's four hour class with her students dragged by as she went over the dull parts of being a cop, finally getting some of her frustration out of her system at the shooting range which was the break she needed to push through the rest of her day and successfully avoid Aurelia yet again. Finally at five did Jane clock out and trudge back out to her car and drive slowly back to her apartment.

Just before she reached her door did her partner call her, prohibiting her from reading the note left on her door, only allowing her to take it down and place it on her counter, forgotten as soon as it left her hand. Quickly Jane answered the questions her partner asked and before she could look at her answering machine to notice she had new messages, her partner told her they had their suspect and were going in for the arrest. Jane quickly left her apartment again to go nab the guy that had been avoiding them for weeks.

Two hours later Jane quietly walked into her apartment, set her phone and gun on the desk beside the front door and went to her room to change into more comfortable clothes. Comfortable, she grabbed a beer from her fridge, turned on the TV, and proceeded to unwind from the day she'd had.

Completely relaxed, totally at ease and close to sleep at the early hour of nine did a sharp knock on her door push out any sort of thought of going to bed. Suddenly she was as taunt as a bow string; no one knew where she lived. Quietly she stepped up towards her door, gun in hand and looked out of her door peep, all color draining from her face when she saw who was on the other side of her door. Slowly she backed away from it and simply stared at it, jumping when the person she hadn't seen in seven months knocked yet again, though this time more urgently and louder. Taking another step back, Jane took a deep breath, rallied her wits and reached a shaky hand out to open her door.

Jane swallowed loudly, looking at the ground instead of her visitors face and quietly uttered "Hey Frost. Wanna come in?" Moving to the side, she discreetly put her piece back on her desk and waited for Barry Frost, her old partner, to come into her new apartment. Frost quickly stepped inside and headed straight for her living room, looking around at the new place and assessing it slowly on his mind.

Looking around again he settled his eyes on Jane, urgency fueling his every move. "Where are your things?" He demanded, noticing that nothing was packed, nothing was set to go anywhere. Jane looked at him confused and for the first time since Frit arrived, looked into his eyes. Forcefully he exhaled and moved closer, motioning vaguely with his hand at jane and again asked " Where are your things? Why aren't you packed? Didn't you get my messages?" Jane looked at him in bewilderment and stared blankly at him for a moment, knowing in her head she had received nothing from him. "Frost, I never got anything from you, how on earth did you even find me anyway?" Frost grunted and began pacing around Jane's living room, looking at her with something other than frustration and hurt in his eyes, was it sadness? Pity even? Jane certainly was unsettled by his actions, first coming all the way to Texas for no reason and without warning her ahead of time that he was coming really put her off.

"Look man would you like-""Maura's in the hospital." Frost sharply cut her off, freezing Jane in her tracks of moving to the kitchen to get him something to drink. Slowly she turned around and stared at him, anger brimming in her eyes.

"She is where?" Jane quietly asked, trying to push her anger down and stay calm. Seeing her reaction Frost calmed down slightly, knowing now that Jane still did care about the Doc, even if she hadn't answered any of his calls or emails.

"I said she is in the hospital. A semi slammed into the side of her car when she was driving home early Thursday morning, the doctors at the hospital don't think she is going to make it and the only thing she keeps whispering is your name. Now get you things together and get your ass in gear. You are going to Boston to get this woman to live. You owe he that Jane Rizzoli, she's been dying since the day she found out you left her." Frost's words kicked started the temporarily immobilized Jane into action, racing to her room and throwing clothes into a bag.

Rushing back out to the living room she waited for Frost to lead the way. Frost for his part nodded his head in appreciation and quickly headed out of the room and down to his car where he sped to the airport. Quickly the pair boarded the plane Frost had bought tickets for earlier and impatiently they waited for the take off to commence and the long plane ride ahead of them to be over.

Fidgeting in her seat while thinking over how things had progressed in the span on an hour did she look over at Frost and ask the question that had been bothering her ever since Frost appeared at her front door. "Frost, how did you find out where I was? I wiped out everything that had me tied to Boston and I even got all new cards and bank accounts so that you couldn't find me that way. How did you do it?" Frost looked over at her and leveled "I really don't want to talk to you look at her" causing Jane to slightly sink in her seat.

Remaining silent Frost looked out at his window and over the slowly moving landscape before quietly answering "Korsack remembered when you said you wanted to go to Dallas and from there I basically looked over every sort of job position I could think of that you might have taken on and after about a month and a half of searching I found you. I told Korsack that I found you, but I never told Maura, Korsack and I were afraid of what would of happened, what with her just breaking up with Frankie and the stress of work weighing on her."

Jane stared at him as though he had grown a third head. "Maura and Frankie broke up? Why they were so good for each other." In her head she adamantly denied what she had just said but she did not want to make Frost any angrier then what he already was. Frost looked at her with barely concealed anger shining in his eyes. "They broke up because you left." His cold answer silenced Jane for the rest of the flight.

Some hours later the pair got off of the plane and quickly left the building to where Korsack stood leaning against his unmarked car. Jane stopped walking the moment she laid eyes on him and again the color left her face at having to face another of her once close friends. Korsack however would have none of this and roughly pulled her into a hug, hoarsely whispering in her ear "I missed you," before pulling away and all but shoving Jane into the idling car.

Quickly Korsack Sped to the hospital parked his car and the trio rushed into the hospital, all three praying that the woman they were hurrying to see was still alive, Jane in particular. The woman at the desk looked at them dubiously, but eventually pointed them towards Maura's room.

Jane stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Maura's busted body lying lifelessly on the white hospital bed. Her golden hair shining against the white all around her. Slowly Jane moved towards the woman who had been haunting her dreams for longer then she could remember. Silently she sat down in the vacant chair beside Maura's bed and just looked at the woman who had years ago stolen her heart.

Tubes of all types sprouted out of her body, one of them sticking awkwardly out of her mouth, breathing for her. Maura's skin was marred with many bruises and for what Jane could see, at least one of her arms was broken. Tears spilled from Jane's eyes as she looked at the carnage that had befallen her beautiful angel and quietly she cried, leaning her head against Maura's bed whispering over and over "I'm sorry, so so sorry."

Looking again at Maura Jane gently reached over and cradled the hand that was not bound in a cast. Tears still dripping from her eyes she valiantly tried to lighten the mood by lightly teasing the unconscious woman "Your hands are cold Maura, but you know what they say about cold hands. Colds hands, warm hearts." Jane's strained chuckle died on her lips when she saw nothing she said made a change in Maura's features.

Reaching out aging but this time to lightly run the back of her fingers against Maura's cheek did Jane plead brokenly with the unresponsive woman "I need you to wake you love. I need you to hear that I love you, I need you to be mad at me so that we can get over it and get past this bid mess that I made. I need you to wake up Maura, please please wake you baby. I love you!" Looking frantically at Maura, stillness settled over the room as suddenly Maura's vitals began to fade and suddenly give put entirely.

Doctors flooded the room and urgently began attempting to bring Maura back to life. Bringing her hands up to cover her mouth, Jane silently cried and backed up against the wall as all she could do was watch as the love of her life lay dying right in front of her. Closing her eyes the last thing she heard was the continuous sound of the shrill beep meaning Maura's heart was no longer beating.

Whispering softly to the full room, not being heard over the frantic movements in the room, Jane repeated herself,

"I Love you."

End