Title: Virility
Fandom: Megamind
Rating: M for musing over man bits
Summary: Roxanne wonders about Megamind's junk.
Notes: I feel all sorts of weird writing this. Please don't judge me. This all started because the BFF texted me wondering where Megamind would hide a 'giant blue penis'.

It had been several months since the whole 'Tighten' ordeal and since Metro City's apparent only television reporter, Roxanne Richi had established some form of relationship with the former villain and super genius: Megamind. Not that he wasn't a super genius any more because that wasn't something anyone could just lose over night, but he had indeed given up the life and tyranny and terror. This was all fine and well, Roxanne thought, it was a very chaste relationship; there were plenty of kisses and cuddles, and Megamind had only recently gotten used to idea of them sharing a bed sometimes. But occasionally, as Megamind slept softly beside her, Roxanne would lie wide awake staring at the ceiling, all her thoughts on what oh what on Earth Megamind kept in his pants. Or his very tight spandex catsuit, be as it were.

Roxanne felt only slightly guilty about this, sex isn't and shouldn't be the be all and end all of a relationship, but good grief, she couldn't help but wonder about it. She supposed it was just curiosity, after all, there had to be plenty of people not in a relationship with Megamind who speculated over what his junk looked like. Roxanne thought through the possibilities; Megamind was mostly humanoid, so she could see no reason why his member wouldn't also resemble its human counterpart, or perhaps it was a wriggling tentacled mess like an Eldritch Abomination. Her mind wandered further, perhaps it was a barbed monstrosity like a cat and-

Roxanne winced into the darkness. But then, Roxanne wasn't an idiot and it didn't take a genius to notice that, well, Megamind's clothes were very tight and Roxanne had spent more time than she cared to admit noticing that he had no visible bulge at all. Maybe he had no genitalia at all, maybe his kind were born in elaborate giant test tubes, they'd probably never know. Or maybe it retracted back into his body when not use, there were countless possibilities really. But it didn't matter, Roxanne decided, even if he were as anatomically correct as a Ken doll, he was still him and the shape or existence of his man bits didn't change that fact.

No, sex wasn't important, she could always improvise, she reassured herself. But this only lead to thoughts of all the moral implications behind this, she had read more than one hurtful blog on the internet about how sick and disgusting their relationship was. Roxanne knew she really shouldn't let it get to her and she tried to be professional about it but she couldn't help letting it bring her down a little bit, he was technically not human and there were probably laws about this sort of thing somewhere. But on the other hand, they both would be sentient, consenting adults and that should be the only thing that mattered. Not that they had even gotten any where near that stage in their relationship, mind you.

Sighing and figuring there was no point tin worrying about things she couldn't do anything about, she decided to try and get some sleep, and cuddled up to Megamind, she smiled to herself; his pyjamas were really just too cute.

The following day wasn't all that particularly eventually; no villains, just bored teenagers attempting to rob a liquor store who were then promptly apprehended by Megamind. He later went to visit Roxanne at her apartment and then told her about his day rather animatedly.

"And then I said 'I'm here to chew-"

"Megamind, can I ask you something?" Roxanne interrupted his thrilling tale. He stopped, arms still hung in mid air.

"Roxanne, what is it? What's wrong?" A worried look passed over his face as if he expected that Roxanne was about to tell him something outright horrible.

"No! No, nothing is wrong." At this, Megamind looked relieved, "this is going to sound crazy, but its purely on a scientific level." Yes, that was it, bring out the science card. That would make this all okay, but he definitely looked intrigued and interested at the word science rather than looking terrified. "I was wondering about what exactly is the situation down there."

A blank stare. "What?"

Roxanne laughed, a but too nervously for her liking and looked down significantly.

"Oh." He said flatly. "Oh. I knew this day would soon come. After all, you're an intelligent, beautiful woman and you have needs. But alas, there is nothing." He had that sad look in his eyes as if he were a puppy and Roxanne had kicked him. Roxanne wished the ground would swallow her up already and immediately regretted ever wanting to ask him that question. "No, its just yet another difference that sets myself apart from the rest of humanity." Well, at least he only sounded slightly bitter about it.

They were silent for a few moments, Roxanne was clearly mulling this information over. "So, you have no idea how your people reproduced?"

"No, and perhaps I never will." He looked so hurt, Roxanne noticed, completely dumped in the rain hurt. "The Warden did give me a book on puberty when I was growing up in lieu of actually giving me the talk about it, but it only raised more questions than it answered. But that was mostly down to myself lacking a certain part of anatomy, I tried to ask my prison uncles about it but they would all suddenly have other pressing issues to attend to. Which is bizarre because we were in a prison after all, what other more pressing matters could there possibly be?"

"It doesn't matter," Roxanne patted his arm in a reassuring manner, "its not that important, really."

"Really, Roxanne!" Megamind suddenly perked up, "what sort of incredibly handsome former criminal genius and master of all conquering villainy would I be if I didn't know how to utilise the Google. I have learnt all sorts of techniques I think you'll find pleasing."

Roxanne smiled.

I was aiming for lulz, may have ended up with asexual propaganda. Such is life.