\Striped Knickers and a Taste of Revenge\

So, I had a really horrible day today and wondered: Why not write some DG comedy? And sure enough, it got my spirits up. I apologize for any errors.

"You - you WHAT?" A very angry redhead barked.

Draco Malfoy found himself in quite a precarious predicament: knees locked in place, back straining against a slated, brick wall, gray eyes glinting with a mixture of amusement and well expected fear as he peered over the edge of the three foot wall keeping him from falling off the Astronomy Tower.

"Do I really have to repeat myself?" He managed to taunt despite the fact he could potentially fall to his demise at any given moment. Sweat gathered on his pale brow.

Ginny Weasley leaned closer, her chestnut eyes flashing as she pinned the belligerent 5th year tighter against the wall, "How did you manage to pin my knickers to a pole and hover them over the entrance to the Great Hall?" She fumed.

Draco smirked, "Well, you insisted on leaving them lying around so I figured I'd put them to good use." Instantly he regretted his words; Ginny whipped out her wand and pressed it into the space between his neck and shoulder and the blond knew she wouldn't hesitate to hex him if he said the wrong thing.

"I did not leave them lying around," Ginny hissed, shoving her wand until it dug into his skin. "They were - they - well," she flushed. "It doesn't matter where they were, only that you took them!"

Draco considered the options scattered before him. He could either apologize (which a Malfoy should never have to resort to) or just walk away (that might work) or mock her and then walk away (and that sounded perfectly delightful.)

His gray eyes twinkled with humor, something that usually signified a sharp retort, "As you have no proof I suppose this matter must be put to rest." He peeled away from the wall and began heading for the entrance to the stairwell, pausing as if to add a sentiment. "Unless, of course, you'd like to bring this up to Professor Snape. I'm sure he'd enjoy taking a look at your knickers." The blond snorted in a dignified manner that made it resemble a chuckle.

Ginny flushed up to her forehead, "You're a right, foul git, Malfoy!" Then she pointed her wand at him once more and prepared to pick a random spell that would surely disfigure his oh-so-perfect face.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Weasley," Draco answered with a sneer. "As it is I'm afraid I'm going to have to dock you 20 points from Gryffindor for assaulting a prefect."

This time it was Ginny who snorted (although Malfoy would say he was above such things as snorting) and glared murderously in the blond's direction, "Right - I assaulted you. I suppose the Sorting Hat put you in Slytherin for a reason, Malfoy - you're a coward and an bloody impossible one at that!"

A fake smile spread across his porcelian skin, "Is that so, manky little blood traitor?"

Her cheeks dusted with crimson, "Are you calling me a slut?"

Malfoy shrugged, turning to go once more, "It's all based on perspective. Now get back to your common room before I dock the contents of Gryffindor's hourglass."

"Right - I suppose I should nip off then," Ginny responded in a sugary sweet tone, her caramel eyes watching the cocky blond closely.

"About time," Malfoy muttered, placing a pale hand on the doorframe as a smirk traced his lips. "Oh, and Weasley?"

"What?" She asked a tad sharply, wrapping her scarlet jumper tighter about her arms.

His appraising gaze slid lower, to a place that was considered indiscreet even to glance at before marraige; then again, despite his upbringing, Malfoy only was a teenage boy.

"Well?" Ginny had spotted his lustful look and had blushed even brighter, if possible, quickly turning slightly to the side.

His eyes quickly lurched back up to her face, the silver and blue specks of his irises twinkling with the knowledge that he could make her body react in such a way, "Pink knickers with blue stripes isn't your best color, I'm afraid."

She gasped furiously, "Malfoy, you - you perverted prat!" Lumbering after the disappearing blond, Ginny pointed her wand at his back and thundered, "Conjunctivitis!"

Instantly Draco let out a muffled shriek as his eyesight flickered and twisted, making him stumble into one of the curved walls of the tower, "Weasley - I - ow - I'll have you expelled for this!"

"You can't do anything unless you catch me," Ginny taunted with a laugh, charging past Malfoy as he groped for the handrail. "Admit it, you deserved it - self serving git."

"Weasley!" Malfoy roared, tripping over his own feet as he tried to snatch the suddenly ecstatic girl and only succeeding in catching a whiff of her winter berry scented perfume before he crashed onto one of the steps and began bouncing and rolling down the stairs in a mangled heap.

Ginny sighed as she saw the blood coating what looked like his broken nose, "This won't be pretty once Madam Pomfrey finds out about it."

"Then you'll get what you deserve," Malfoy threatened, clutching his nose. However, the statement came out more like garbled mush than anything.

The youngest Weasley mumbled something to herself, "Let go of your nose so I can fix it."

"Why should I trust you?" Draco hissed and it sounded like 'wfhsoufhlItwutyoh.'

Ginny rolled her eyes (for unlike Malfoy she had no qualms about acting like a drama queen on certain occasions) and stepped closer to the moaning blond, "I can't understand what you're saying, Malfoy. Now let go of your nose so I can fix it, or do you want to go around with a broken nose for the rest of the day?"

Reluctantly, Draco shook his head, wincing with the movement, "What about my eyesight?" This time his voice sounded just like goo from Seamus' cauldron after a Potion's lesson.

"Just shut it, you spoiled prat, and let me help you," Ginny snapped and to her surprise Malfoy finally quieted his whimpers.

Ginny ran a gentle hand over Malfoy's forehead, brushing back his platinum locks and allowing her to see the full extent of the damage. His nose seemed broken, all right, and bruises were beginning to form around his cheeks and eyes. It was actually quite amusing to see the young blond looking so out of his normally impeccable element.

Pressing her wand closer to his injuries, Ginny said, "Episkey," and heard Malfoy hiss in pain as the bone and cartilage in his nose slid back into place.

"You could be gentler, you know," Draco complained, rubbing his newly fixed nose and the drying blood caked around it.

"And I thought I was doing a spiffing job," Ginny remarked heatedly, pressing him back down by the chest when he attempted to sit up.

"Since when did you turn into such a drama queen?" Malfoy argued, glaring openly at the ginger-haired girl sitting beside him. It was horrible enough being one-upped by a Weasley but to have her screeching at him and telling him what a terrible person he was - well - enough was enough.

"Since when did you become so ruddy annoying?" Ginny spat, straightening her jumper. "Oh wait, you always were."

Malfoy smirked, "And that's why you obsess over me. It's okay, you can admit it to my face, little Weasley."

She flushed again, "What an arrogant, son of a - " Then she broke off to mumble to herself about how horrid he was. "I do not obsess over you, Malfoy." She said his name like it was a slimy toad.

"Oh, don't deny it. Pansy complains to me all the time about seeing you in the library, calling out my name in breathy moans - "

"Shut up, Malfoy."

" - and sometimes, when you're alone there, you envision me leaning over you and kissing you - "

"Do you want me to hex you again?"

" - and then you imagine me snaking down your body, planting little kisses, and you slide a hand down your -"

"I don't have to heal you, you know!" Ginny yelled, pointing her wand at Malfoy's throat.

He broke off, eyeing her in apparant satisfaction, "Am I bothering you, Weasley?"

She scowled, "That's it. You can heal your own bloody face!" Standing up, she prepared to stomp off back towards the castle doors.

"I suppose it doesn't matter to you that I'm going to tell the whole world about your horrid knickers, then," Draco taunted, playing with her emotions in a test to see how far she could last without cracking.

She only smirked to herself, "Have you heard of memory charms? I find them very useful."

Draco let out a growl, "You wouldn't dare."

"Wouldn't I?" She laughed and then pocketed her wand.

He began to panic, unwillingly of course, because the Weasley girl hadn't fixed his vision and he didn't know the counterspell (damn Charms) and so he'd be stumbling around in the dark and probably getting himself injured all over again.

"Something wrong, Malfoy?" Ginny taunted, crossing her arms and smiling down at him in such a way that he felt like cursing her to oblivion and back, if only he could see straight enough. Right now there looked like there were eight different Ginnys swimming around his tense form.

"I - damn it, just cure my vision already," he barked.

Ginny looked at him for a long moment, devious thoughts sifting through her brain, until she finally came up with the perfect solution, "Very well. Take my hand."

He grimaced, "Hold your hand? I think not."

"Memory charm..." she hinted, stretching her arm out towards him.

Draco never actually agreed, only took her surprisingly warm hand in his own and allowed her to lead him about wherever she pleased, hissing under his breath about "bloody Weasleys" and "petty threats" the whole time.

"Press your hands against this wall here," Ginny ordered a moment later and he did so, feeling, oddly enough, a bit reluctant to let go of her tiny, warm hand.

She mumbled some sort of spell in a tone so quiet he couldn't pick it up and his hands felt sturdier against the wall, so Draco supposed it must be a good thing; and that's when he felt her fingers close around his wand and pull it out of his back pocket.

"What in Merlin's name do you think you're doing?" He wondered sharply.

"Just making sure you can't fight back," Ginny answered in a musical voice, saying something else that removed the twisting and turning vision he'd been cursed with ten odd minutes ago.

It was then that Draco noticed that his hands were magically glued to the inside wall of an abandoned tower just outside the castle walls and Ginny Weasley was stroking his wand in her hands, a victorious smirk settling on her mouth.

He gaped for the words, but he couldn't manage to find a proper retort - the Weasley girl had beaten him at his own game of manipulation and he was at her mercy (although he actually didn't admit that last part to himself, because Malfoy's aren't second to anyone.)

"What did you do?" He asked in a deathly calm tone that his close friends knew meant the demise of someone.

But Ginny didn't seem to care, quite the opposite actually, "I just used a Permanent Sticking Charm on your hands but I'm sure you know how to counter it."

He just glared at her, still, shockingly, at a loss for words.

"Oh, you don't?" Ginny feigned surprise. "Ah - well - a professor is bound to discover you eventually and unstick you. I'll just tell Professor Mc. Gonagall that I discovered you stuck to a wall and didn't know what to do."

Draco knew what she was looking for but he really didn't want to give her the satisfaction. Unfortunately, unless he wished to be stuck to a wall for several days he would be wise to admit defeat, "Fine, I'll use a Memory Charm on the entire student population and retrieve your - erm - stylish knickers." He chuckled to himself.

She nodded briskly, "Very well. I'll just go have supper now."

Malfoy's eyes widened, "Wait - wha - what? I told you - I lost - unstick me!"

Ginny smiled in mirth and patted her stomach, "I'm hungry and I want to eat. You'll just have to wait." She laughed to herself. "Not afraid of centaurs, are we Malfoy? You know, I hear they peel your flesh off your bones one strip at a time and stew your eyeballs to golden perfection - huh - food for thought."

And with that she began the trek back to the castle, ignoring Malfoy's demands for her to release him immediately. Revenge was certainly sweet.

"Ginny," Luna cried as she tramped towards her friend. "What are you doing outside? They have pudding in the Great Hall!" The blonde's eyes lit up in happiness.

Ginny smiled, "I was just - erm - blinding my enemies." Linking her arms with the serene Ravenclaw they skipped towards the entrance of Hogwarts Castle.

"You're so wise, Ginevra; battling your inner dark side and prevailing," Luna said with a dreamy giggle.

Ginny's eyebrows drew together and then she burst out laughing, "Yes, that's what I meant. Now, onwards to the Land of Pudding!"

\fin\