Fitting in for the first time

This was new, a first . . . ever. Jensen felt like he belonged. It wasn't all sweetness and light; he knew he still wound his team-mates up; he talked too much, wore strange t-shirts and was generally a pain in the ass no matter how hard he tried. But they worked and he'd never felt so 'at home' in his life, which given the dire living accommodations most of the time and the regularity of the life-threatening incidents should probably have made it even more surprising.

Jensen had been a pain in the ass from day one, depending on whether you considered day one to be when he was born or when he was conceived. His mum had pretty much had enough from the moment of drunken conception. Months of morning sickness did not endear her to his imminent arrival and yes, he was one of those children or she was one of those mothers who did suffer with morning sickness for the entire length of her pregnancy, which combined with the need for ever-growing clothes and what had felt like innumerable pre-natal visits did not endear her to his imminent arrival.

By the time he was born, the only people pleased to see him were the midwives and doctors who would no longer be subjected to his mother's complaining rants about everything baby related as she'd now be out of their care. Oh, and his sister who saw him as a new toy.

As time went on, his mother became more specific in her complaints about what Jake was doing wrong now. His father was often absent without leave, and according to his mother that was Jake's fault as well. He tried hard to be quiet, and failed regularly as he brimmed with excitement at some new achievement. The only person who put up with him was his sister and there were times when he wondered whether even that was just pity, because no one else cared about him at all.

School had been a disaster from the word go. Too bright, too loud and too geeky. Pain in the ass for the teachers when he already knew everything they were planning on teaching, too loud to sit there quietly and even pretend he didn't already know it all and too much of a geek for the other kids to like him. He was lonely. He'd try to make friends and just end up knocked around until he agreed to completing another round of someone else's homework. He tried and failed over and over again, but nobody liked the same things he did and so Jensen lived on the fringe of life still.

Getting caught having done someone else's homework only made matters worse. Trouble with the teachers for the illicit behaviour, with the kids because, in their opinion at least, he'd been caught on purpose and at home for being in trouble at school again. There was only one thing in this world that Jake Jensen wanted more than a friend and it was too put all of this behind him.

There'd been a recruitment officer at a school careers fair and that was when the idea first came to him. 'Traveling the world' sounded good; 'building on his natural talents' sounded even better and when it came to 'taught to defend himself so that no one else could beat him up', he hadn't been able to wait to sign up.

So, the army had been a shock, not quite as welcoming of all-comers as the recruiter had implied but on balance Jake, now just Jensen, was still pleased he'd signed up. He was still a geek, still too loud and still didn't quite fit with the rest of his squad, even when he tried and in honesty, sometimes he couldn't quite be bothered to even try. On the up side, he was a geek who other people thought twice about beating up, because he'd piled on a few pounds of solid muscle and had learnt how to use them well. Given his tendency to let his mouth run away, he'd been doing sufficient extra P.T. as punishment to surpass the other recruits' fitness pretty rapidly, which was probably a good thing.

The average army commanding officer hated him, but they still didn't want to lose him. He'd soaked up every bit of knowledge they threw at him, and yes, it did make him a wise ass, but it also made him useful. Technologically he was a gift, linguistically he was an asset, in 'man on the ground in combat' terms he was reliable and solid. They just needed to find a way to channel all of that and make it work in their favor.

Not so easy it would seem and now Jensen was on his last chance. Lt. Col. Franklin Clay had been the man glaring at him from the other side of the desk on this new assignment, a man who had poked and prodded at the information in the file, all the while glaring at Jensen as he attempted to figure out what to do with the young man before him. They both knew this needed to work or Jensen was back out in the world causing trouble.

Two missions down and it clearly did work, even if it wasn't in the traditional military sense. Yes, Jensen still drove everyone else demented with his geek talk, but they'd found a way of sharing the 'listening' part between them that reduced some of the brain damage they were each feeling like they were suffering, while keeping Jensen feeling valued. He'd also begun to come to terms with being told to shut up and actually trying to follow the order.

They appreciated his strengths and Clay could tell it was the first time that had ever happened for the young man. He wasn't any less of a pain in the ass with his runaway mouth, likelihood to tell you what he really thought of the order you'd just given him, but he was darned useful and he did actually follow those orders even if he didn't like them. Clay for one had seen enough soldiers who didn't follow orders to appreciate the distinction.

He mellowed. Nobody had ever thought it could happen. He tried to socialize and follow the team's cues as to what was and wasn't acceptable, and the team appreciated the efforts he was making.

The moment Jensen really knew he fitted in was the night in a bar when some other team decided he was no real soldier because a real soldier wouldn't wear a bright pink t-shirt. Stupidly drunk, they'd missed noticing the whole Black Ops trained aspect of Jensen's team and focused in on the team's 'weak point'.

Jensen was making his way back from buying the next round at the bar, hands full of bottles, when Hell broke loose and it was lucky Cougar had been looking his way at the first swing or they might have taken longer to get to his side. Sure his own team had spent most of the night complaining and digging at his t-shirt, his geek tendencies and his runaway mouth, but they weren't willing to trade him in and they weren't actually going to kill him, despite the odd comment to the contrary on that one.

Back on base, they'd patched each other up and it was at the point that Jensen realized that every single member of the team had come to check on him in their own way; Clay was first, gruff and to the point, "You okay, kid? We need to take you to see a medic?"

Cougar had followed him in, a bunch of medical supplies in his arms, without a word, he pushed Jensen into the nearest chair and proceeded to give him the once over, cleaning him up and checking the injuries for seriousness. As he'd finished, he let his eyes give Jensen one more check over, before nodding saying, "Done" and leaving the room without another word.

Jensen had never felt so cared for and that was before Pooch had appeared with a glass of water and a couple of painkillers. "Cougar said you might appreciate these," he said as he held them out to Jensen. "He fixed you up okay?"

Jensen had nodded, stunned that they'd cared enough to do all this for him, so Roque's appearance before Pooch had even left had him sitting on the edge of his seat, ready to defend himself. There was no way the whole team was going to let this slide. Roque just leant back against the wall and watched him quietly. Jensen hesitated in his reach for the painkillers, he figured the last thing he needed to show now was any weakness in front of Clay's SIC.

As his hand dropped back to his lap without taking the proferred pills, Roque growled. Jensen's eyes snapped up to his nervously and Jensen waited for the forthcoming attack. "Take 'em, didn't think you were stupid! Well, not that stupid anyway. Wearing a pink t-shirt in that kind of bar is asking for trouble! That's one kind of stupid, don't be the other kind. Good to see you're upright and you're not bad in a fight, could handle a bit more coaching though – I guess I'd better see to that myself before we go on our next mission."

Jensen wasn't sure what the other kind of stupid was, but after that offer he didn't want to risk Roque deciding it applied to him. He was pretty sure that Roque's comment about coaching was a good thing too. Roque left the room and Pooch nudged him with the hand holding out the pills and Jensen reached for them hurriedly with a quiet thanks.

Pooch laughed softly, "Don't look so surprised! You're one of us now. We look after our own."

Moments later, Jensen was alone on his bunk. He was sure how or even why this team had accepted him, but for the first time in his life, he felt like he mattered, like he was part of something.

For the first time ever, Jensen thought maybe he could fit in.