Alex: HEY THERE, SPORTS FANS... Wait...
Hazel: -face palm- Wrong intro, Alex...
Alex: Right... HEY THERE, ANIME/CARTOON/MUSICAL FANS!
Hazel: -_- Good enough...
Here is our next crack idea. An Avenue Q/Naruto/Total Drama Island/Fullmetal Alchemist cross-over.
Basically, the Akatsuki are putting on a production of Avenue Q. Some OOCness, especially when people are in Avenue Q character.
Disclaimer: We don't own it. Whatever 'it' may be.
Chapter One
"Places everyone! The show starts in twenty minutes!" Itachi yelled. Sasuke glared at his brother.
"WHERE DID NARUTO GO, YEAH?" Deidara yelled. There was a crash from somewhere.
"NARUTO! YOU IDIOT! THE SHOW'S ABOUT TO START!" Sakura yelled, pulling a battered Naruto on stage by his ear.
"Why did we agree to help with this disaster?" Sasori grumbled, adjusting some lights.
"Did YOU want to say no to Tsunade, un?" Deidara snapped, touching up on of the sets with a small jar of paint.
"Point taken." Sasori sighed.
"This is going to be horrendous." Gaara grumbled as he passed by with Shino, carrying a bunch of camera equipment.
"Yes, it is. And we will have it on film." Shino agreed. Gaara smirked.
"I swear, if Naruto destroys one more set, I am going to disembowel him." Gwen growled, as she painted a wrecked set.
"D-Don't s-say t-that." Hinata stammered, sewing up a tear in Naruto's costume.
"It's true. Why am I even here?" Neji replied, sighing.
"BECAUSE YOU'RE A GOOD BOY!" Tobi yelled, hyperly.
"Tobi, SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU MOTHERFUCKING MORON!" Hidan shouted, holding a hammer up offensively. Tobi didn't seem to notice.
"TEN MINUTES!" Itachi's voice boomed over the din backstage.
"The place is packed!" Trent announced as he, Beth, Winry Rockbell and Alphonse Elric appeared backstage.
"SOMEONE GET EDWARD AND IZZY, YEAH!" Deidara ordered.
"Al and I will find them." Winry said, dragging Alphonse toward the dressing rooms.
"Where did Tenten and Kakashi get to?" Sasori questioned.
"Kakashi's probably hiding somewhere with his porn book." Itachi sneered.
"IT'S NOT PORN! It's mature literature." Kakashi said defensively, appearing beside Itachi.
"PORN!" Everyone in hearing-range yelled. Kakashi scowled, but said nothing.
"WINRY! You didn't need to hit me over the head with a wrench!" Edward whined, rubbing a bump on his forehead as Alphonse and Winry led him and Izzy to the stage.
"Yes, I did." Winry replied cheerfully. Alphonse sighed, but said nothing, fearing the blond's wrath.
"TWO MINUTES! GET YOUR ASSES IN PLACE!" Itachi roared. Unnerved, everyone in scene one scurried to their respective marks. Kiba sighed, pulling nervously on his blue graduation gown.
"Do do dooooo!
Ba da baaaaaa!
Do do dooooo-whoa!
Ba da baaaaaa-aahhh!" The rest of the cast sang offstage, as the crew went about their respective preparations.
"The sun is shining,
It's lovely day.
The perfect morning,
For a kid to play.
But you've got lots of bills to pay.
What can you doooooo?
You work real hard,
And the pays real low.
And every hour goes oh, so slow.
And at the end of the day,
There's nowhere to goooooo!
But home to Avenue Q!
You live on Avenue Q,
Your friends do too.
Yooooouuuu, are, twenty-two!
And you live on Avenue Q!
You live on Avenue Q!
You live on Avenue Q!"
The audiece applauded as the set finished getting into position behind the curtains.
"Keep still and get ready, we're about to open the curtains." Itachi snapped, signalling to Tobi. Tobi grinned and tugged on a thick rope, hauling open the curtains. Then Konan began conducting the band. For A single spotlight shone onto the stage, illuminating Kiba.
"What do you do with a B.A. In English,
What is my life going to be?
Four years of college and plenty of knowledge,
Have earned me this useless degree.
I can't pay the bills yet,
'Cause I have no skills yet,
The world is a big scary place.
But somehow I can't shake,
The feeling I might make,
A difference,
To the human race..."
Kiba walked off stage, as the audience applauded, to grin at everyone he could see. "I did it!" He said triumphantly, punching the air.
"Yeah, yeah, go get changed." Itachi said, waving Kiba off as light flooded the stage and doorways set into a building appeared. Sakura and Neji walked out from two of the doors. Neji was carrying a trash bag.
"Morning, Brian!" Sakura chirped with a wave. Neji put the trash bag in a garbage bin before looking at Sakura
"Hi, Kate Monster." He said, his voice sounded unrecognizable. It sounded... Happy... and very Not-Neji like.
"How's life?" Sakura questioned, leaning forward slightly.
"Disappointing." Neji replied, his happy voice going somber.
"What's the matter?" Sakura asked as she and Neji took a few steps toward the front of the stage.
"The catering company laid me off." Neji said with an over-exaggerated shrug.
"Oh, I'm sorry!" Sakura gave Neji a sympathetic look. Neji nodded.
"Me too! I mean, look at me! I'm ten years out of college, and I always thought..."
"What?" Sakura pressed.
"No, it sounds stupid." Neji shook his head.
"Aw, come on!"
"When I was little,
I thought I would be..." Neji began.
"What?" Sakura's eyebrows rose.
"A big comedian,
On late night TV." Neji paused as Sakura giggled.
"But now I'm thirty-two,
And as you can see,
I'm not."
"Nope."
"Oh well,
It sucks to be me."
"No..."
"It sucks to be me."
"No!"
"It sucks to be broke,
and unemployed,
and turning thirty-three,
It sucks to be me."
"Oh, you think your life sucks?" Sakura said, her tone challenging.
"I think so."
"Your problems aren't so bad!
I'm kinda pretty,
and pretty damn smart."
"You are."
"Thanks!
I like romantic things,
Like music and art.
And as you know,
I have a gigantic heart.
So why don't I have
A boyfriend?
Fuck!
It sucks to be me."
"Me too."
"It sucks to be me."
"It sucks to be me.
It sucks to be Brian..."
"And Kate."
"To not have a job!"
"To not have a date!"
"It sucks to be me!" They both finished as Naruto and Sasuke walked onto the stage, arguing.
"Hey, Rod, Nicky, can you settle something for us? Do you have a minute?" Neji asked the pair.
"Ah, certainly." Sasuke (Rod) said.
"Whose life sucks more? Brian's or mine?" Sakura asked.
"OURS!" Sasuke and Naruto yelled at the same time.
"We live together." Sasuke said.
"We're close as people can get." Naruto piped up.
"We've been the best of buddies..."
"Ever since the day we met."
"So he knows lots of way to make me really upset!
Oh! Every day is an aggravation..."
"Come on, that's an exaggeration."
"You leave your clothes out,
You put your feet on my chair."
"Oh yeah?
You do such anal things,
like ironing your underwear!" Neji and Sakura laughed.
"I don't think they are acting anymore..." Sasori murmured to Itachi as Sasuke and Naruto glared at each other.
"You make the very small apartment we share,
A hell!"
"So do you!
That's why I'm
In hell too!"
"It sucks to be me!" Sasuke exclaimed.
"No, it sucks to be me!" Naruto disagreed.
"It sucks to be me!" Sakura chimed in.
"It sucks to be me!" Neji added.
"Is there anyone here is doesn't suck to be?
It sucks to be me!" They all yelled.
"TENTEN, YOU'RE ON!" Deidara called into the dressing rooms.
"I'M COMING!" Tenten yelled, running out and then calmly walking onto her and 'Brian's' apartment set piece.
"Da da da da daaaa! Daaa, daaa!
Da da da da daaaa! Daaa, daaa!" The four members on stage sang, dancing around and skipping in a circle.
"BRIAAAAN!" Tenten boomed, in a thick Japanese accent, as she popped out of the window of the set piece. She glared down at Sakura, Naruto, Sasuke, and Neji as they froze. She closed the window as the four shrugged, and skipped in a circle once more.
"Da da da da daaaa! Daaa, daaa!
Da da da da daaaa! Daaa, daaa!"
"Why you all so happy?" Tenten (Christmas Eve) asked as she exited the set piece.
"Because our lives suck!" Neji replied, happily.
"Your lives suck?
I hearing you correctly? Ha!
I come into this country for opportunities.
Tried to work in Korean Deli,
But I am Japanese.
But with hard work,
I earn two Master's Degrees.
In social work!
And now I am therapist!
But I have no clients!
And I have an
Unemployed fiance!" Tenten paused to walk over to Neji.
"And we have lots. Of. Bills To. Pay." Tenten poked Neji once in the chest with every word and Neji backed away slightly.
"It suck to be me!
It suck to be me
I say, It
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka
Suck!
It suck to be me!" Tenten finished. Kiba walked onto the stage, looking around before settling his gaze on Neji, Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto and Tenten.
"Excuse me?" Kiba asked. Everyone looked at him.
"Hey there." Neji said.
"Sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for a place to live." Kiba said, sounding slightly sheepish.
"Why you looking all the way out here?" Tenten asked.
"Well, I started at Avenue A, but so far everything is out of my price range. But this neighbourhood looks a lot cheaper! Oh, and look! A 'For Rent' sign!" Kiba exclaimed happily.
"You need to talk to the superintendent. Let me get him." Neji offered, walking over to a metal staircase.
"Great, thanks!" Kiba grinned.
"YO! GARY!" Neji yelled, cupping his hands around his mouth.
"LESHAWNA!" Itachi yelled. LeShawna sighed and ran up some stairs to a platform behind the building scene.
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" LeShawna yelled, walking out onto the top of the steps.
"Oh my god! It's Gary Coleman!" Kiba said in awe. LeShawna nodded enthusiastically. LeShawna began slowly walking down the stairs.
"Yes I am!
I'm Gary Coleman,
From TV's Diff'rent Strokes.
I made a lot of money,
That got stolen by my folks!
Now I'm broke
And I'm the butt of everyone's jokes.
But I'm here,
The Superintendent!
On Avenue Q..." LeShawna held the last note for a minute.
"It sucks to be you!" Everyone sang, pointing at LeShawna
"You win!" Sakura sang.
"It sucks to be you!" Everyone sang again.
"I feel better now!" Neji grinned.
"Try having people stopping you,
To ask you,
'What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?'" She chirped cocking her head to the side, and mimmicing 'fans'. She stared out into the audience boredly.
"It gets old."
LeShawna joined the others on stage and they started dancing.
"It sucks to be you!
On Avenue Q!
(It sucks to be me!)
On Avenue Q!
(It sucks to be you!)
On Avenue Q!
(It sucks to be us!)
But not when we're together!
We're together!
Here, on Avenue Q!
We live on Avenue Q!
Our friends do too!
'Til our dreams come true,
We live on Avenue Q!" Everyone sang as they danced.
"This is real life!" Kiba sounded bewildered.
"We live on Avenue Q!" They all sang.
"You're gonna love it!" Naruto exclaimed to Kiba.
"We live on Avenue Q!" They sang in unison.
"Here's your keys!" LeShawna handed a key ring to Kiba.
"Welcome to Avenue Q!" Everyone gathered around Kiba as the song ended. The crowd erupted into applause, much to the cast's excitement.
Once the applause died down, Sasuke and Naruto exited stage right. Neji turned to Kiba, and nodded to him.
"So, uh, what's your name?" He asked.
"Oh, I'm Princeton." Kiba grinned.
Neji smiled, and pat him on the back. "Hey buddy, I'm Brian, and this is my fiancée." He added, gesturing towards Tenten.
"My name Christmas Eve." She smiled. After a few seconds, she walked over to Kiba and started to look him up and down.
"You so cute, veryyyy handsome. You single?"
Neji narrowed his eyes at Kiba, as he chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck bashfully.
"Yeah..." He replied.
Before Neji could intervene, Tenten smiled and gestured to Sakura. "Because... She single..." She hinted.
Sakura 'blushed' and cleared her throat. "Ohhh! Christmas Eve!" She gasped.
Neji grinned and wrapped his arm around Tenten as he added, "That's Kate Monster! She lives in our building!"
"Oh, hi." Kiba smiled, and shook Sakura's hand.
"...Hi!" She replied, giggling slightly.
Suddenly, the window on the furthest window the right swung open and Kakashi grunted as he tossed out a trash bag.
"Trekkie!" LeShawna scolded, scowling.
"Mornin' Trekkie!" Neji called.
"Oh, me have no time to talk. Me busssssaaayyy..." He chuckled, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, before slamming the window shut and retreating to his apartment.
"And that's Trekkie Monster." Neji said to Kiba.
"He a pervert, you no spending time with him." Tenten added, crinkling her nose in distaste.
"Come on inside kid, I'll show you the place." LeShawna offered, heading towards the apartment with the For Rent sign.
"Oh, great!" Kiba chirped, following LeShawna offstage.
Once they were gone, Tenten walked over to Sakura and smiled.
"So, what you think Kate Monster? He cute, right?"
"...Yeah." Sakura grinned, chuckling slightly.
"Ahhh, you go get him! A man responds to an aggressive woman." She stated, before turning to Neji and glaring. She pointed to him as her glare deepened.
"YOU! GO GET JOB!" She ordered.
"AHH! I'll get right on it!" Neji exclaimed, scared as he backed up quickly, before running offstage.
Tenten turned and smiled at Sakura.
"See?"
Two two laughed and walked offstage, as the lights dimmed and Konan started to play them off as the scene began to change to the inside of an apartment.
"T-That w-was r-really g-good, N-Naruto..." Hinata said to the blond offstage, blushing and poking her index fingers together.
"Thanks Hinata!" Naruto grinned at the Hyuuga before going to get ready for the next scene.
"When do we come in?" Edward asked Izzy, sounding impatient. The ginger just shrugged and began babbling about explosives.
"Alright, everyone get ready! If You Were Gay is next!" Itachi commanded as everyone scrambled to prepare for the next scene.
Hazel: Okay, I swear to god, It Sucks To Be Me NEVER ends!
Alex: LOL, it sucks to be you, Hazel!
Hazel: -_- Alex, get in the corner. Now.
Alex: -grumbles and sulks in corner-
Hazel: I promise that we'll update our other cross-over soon! I had most of it done on paper but...
Alex: THEN SHE LOST THE PAPER AND SHE HAS TO START OVER!
Hazel: I'M SORRY! OKAY? HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO APOLOGIZE?
Alex: 1 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 times.
Hazel: -sighs-
Alex: REVIEW!