Author's Note: Hello, we just have some things to say before we start this off. This is our first story, so no hate! Well, flaming is welcome, but we'll just ignore it. This story might not make the most sense, and the grammar isn't perfect, but we tried. We really hope you enjoy it, and it's not too messed up.

Disclaimer: We do not own Degrassi, sadly. If we did, there would be plenty of Eclitz threesomes.

~Prolouge~

"Clare, Clare, Clare …"

Sometimes I like to think about what would have happened if I had never 'loved' her. That I had never taken that job. That I had never laid eyes on her. That my fingers had never encased that book. That her fingers had never encased my heart.

She was supposed to change me. That's what I thought. I saw her beauty, as great as her innocence.

I expected her to save me. From myself. But my love for her…it was supposed to be my life preserver, my last chance. But instead, my love for her was just extra weight that dragged me down, a spiral unto myself.

But…would I change anything I had done? No.

Tainted Love

She's sitting there again. Same seat. Same time. Same journal. Maybe she knows I'm watching her. Have been watching her for awhile. And she likes the pleasure of knowing that she tortures me.

With every crossing and uncrossing of the legs. With every bite of the lips. With every curl she pushes from her face with her left ring finger. Pure hearts wait.

I feel my lips curl dangerously. Not for long.

"Eli! Dude, tables need cleaning." someone says from behind me. I lift my gaze from the beautiful girl writing in her journal.

"Whatever, man." I say to the tall lanky blond man. I look back to the girl's table. Gone.

Damn Peter.

"Really, get cleaning. I didn't hire you to just stand there," he repeats, disappearing behind the counter.

"Okay, okay…" I begin wiping the tables, lingering by the one the girl was just sitting at. I breathe in deeply. I can just smell her floral perfume.

I finish cleaning the tables, and then take a seat off in the corner, watching the people filter in and out of the diner. My shift is well over, but I have no intentions to go home. No point to, really. My father, Bullfrog, is never home, probably off getting drunk somewhere, and my mother, CeCe, is always down in the basement, smoking joints all day. So I just spend most of my time here, watching people, especially that one girl…

I remember as a sophomore starting my job here.

When I saw her for the first time, her a freshmen. She had looked a lot different then. Her hair much longer, straighter, restrained in ponytail. Her large beautiful blue eyes hidden behind the glare of her glasses. Those curves flattened out due to that catholic school girl uniform worn everyday; even though Degrassi Community School didn't have uniforms (I had too many dreams that had to do with that uniform, though).

But now she had grown, and her presence was even more desirable. Her hair was cropped short into adorable cinnamon curls, and her crystal blue eyes were now glasses free. I assumed she got contacts, or surgery or something, but I didn't ask. I never said anything to her at all. Maybe it was because she was just sure pure, and I would taint her with a single greeting from my lips. The purity ring she wore on her finger, the crucifix necklace that rested on the alabaster skin of her chest, the bible she often clutched close to her after church on Sundays…

"Hey, time to lock up. Mind giving me a hand with some of these chairs?" Peter's voice breaks my thoughts, and I look around. The Dot is empty now, us two the only ones inside. Half of the chairs are now stacked on top of the tables, and Peter is working on the second half. He stares at me for a long while until I sigh and stand to help him finish with the chairs.

I step outside the Dot after locking up to feel the brisk Toronto air sting my skin. A vintage black hearse waits at the curb of the road, Morty.

I drive home listening to hardcore screamo music. After a 15 minute drive I pull into my driveway. The lawn is dead with broken beer bottles hiding in the grass.

When I walk up to the door I spot a small little mouse scurrying across the porch. It stops for a second looking up at me with innocent little eyes. And when I bend down to pick him up he happily complies, thinking I was as kind as CeCe and would spare a few bread crumbs or cheese for him. Sadly mistaken.

With just my index and middle finger I squeeze and squeeze his middle while he squirms and makes disgusting little squealing noises. I let out a chortle, when he goes limp in my hand. I toss him back on the ground and unlock the door with my key.

The first thing I smell when I step through the door is weed and Chinese takeout. I don't mind the scent, because it always smells like this, but I cough a little from the smoke fumes wafting up from the basement. My coughs and chokes are echoed by my mother's who is down there right now, probably smoking a joint…again.

I toss my keys onto the counter, which is already cluttered enough with empty beer and soda cans, magazines CeCe steals from the neighbor's porch, and old take out containers. I pick up one of the take out containers, to see if there's anything salvageable, but I come up empty. I throw it back down angrily, my stomach growling audibly. There's never anything to eat in this fucking place. I tread over the paper cartons, sweeping my arm along the counter as I did so, knocking everything to the floor.

"Elijah, is that you?" CeCe croaks from downstairs, but I ignore her, kicking several cans out of my way as I head toward my room.

While stomping up the stairs I ignore all the family photos that hang on the walls. I'm not interested in buying a one way ticket down memory lane.

As quickly as I opened my bedroom door, I slam it shut, giving myself enough time to get in.

The black walls of my room could be seen between the spaces of all the band posters I had put up. A torn black sheet had been thrown over the small window blocking the moonlight.

While walking to my bed I ignore the abundant clutter of old records, action figures popcorn tubs, and etc. I barely register how I avoid tripping on DVD cases or dirty black tees.

I dump a pile of books and other un-important items onto the floor and sit on the now opened space on my bed with a loud sigh. This would be my night, sitting here on my bed, doing nothing but staring at the wall across from me. I normally don't sleep; CeCe says its insomnia, but I still have my doubts on that one. It's not that I can't sleep, I just choose not to.

Thirty minutes pass and I stand up, my muscles are sore from being keyed up in the same sitting position the entire time. I move over to my window, peeling the sheet back to peer out. The neighbor's house is dangerously close to ours, so I can see right inside their windows. The room across from mine happened to be the bathroom, and when I had nothing else to do, I often watched the people inside. I never felt wrong doing so, despite peeping in people's bathrooms being frowned upon.

I notice the lights are on, but the curtains are closed. I mentally curse, only being able to see the dark figure inside. It's a woman, I can tell that for sure by the outline of her curves and long hair. But I'm not sure which woman it is. There are two that live there, the mother and her daughter. I don't know them, even though they are my neighbors. I only know that they enjoy taking showers at night, and often leave the curtains open, a plus for me.

The outline of the woman leans down slightly, towards where she is so close to the window she may be able to see me. The woman lifts open the window and I get a clear view of the woman, the mother. She turns around and pulls up her blouse leaving her in just a bra. She peels off the rest of her clothes and is finally standing nude looking examining herself in the mirror.

Mother turns the knob of the shower. Waiting for it to heat up. She puts her hand under the running shower and retracts it quickly, the water either too hot or cold. The now wet fingers rub over her left nipple, causing it too become erect. Cold water.

"Oh yeah." I groan. I grab a chair from the desk in the corner. Sitting down I unzip my now tight jeans.

The mother steps into the shower. She leans against the wall of the shower and spreads her legs, facing me. A perfect view.

This woman wasn't the most attractive. But not painful to look at either. Probably older then my mom. Maybe forty-five. But I get what I can get.

With her right index finger she plunges in.

"Oh!" She moans.

Tighter my boxers get. I slide those off, squeezing my dick.

Steam is lifting from the window, but it clears with another loud moan.

She had added two more fingers. When she thrusted back out her fingers glistened with a murky fluid. With her left hand she brushes her nub with the pad of her finger. "Ooh yes!"

When I stroked my dick with my hand, I closed my eyes, imagining this average looking woman becoming the innocent beauty that constantly plagued my thoughts.

The beautiful girl's short curly hair was matted down with the stream of hot water pounding down on her body. She is now rubbing at her nub furiously. "Eli! Eli! Eli! ELI!" I imagine her chanting over and over.

But my beautiful thoughts are broken when my bedroom door opens showing my mother, her blonde mullet messy and her eyes half-lidded and a distinguishing aroma that she seems to carry, standing in the doorway.

'"Eli? I was wondering if you-"

"CECE! Get the fuck out!" I snap at her.

"But-"

"GET!" I yell picking up a pillow on the ground and chucking it at her. She closes the door before it hits her.

I doubt she saw anything. Probably too stoned to notice.

I look up to the window. Her bouncy cinnamon curls now long, mousy and limp. Her stature no longer petite and curvy.

I groan, not out of pleasure but of annoyance. I pull up my boxers and move the black tattered sheet to cover the window.

When my head rests on the back board of my bed, I squeeze my eyes shut...and I wonder. I wonder what my mystery girl would think of what I do, what I am. I wonder if she would ever love me. And I wonder why I actually care.

It didn't suck too much, did it?

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