House Song: No one is quite sure how Fred and George pulled this one off. AU take on the Sorting ceremony in GoF. Song fic using Ministry of Magic's The House Song off their new album Magic is Might.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the song lyrics. I am merely borrowing both for humorous purposes only. to
It seemed to be a normal start to the year in Harry Potter's fourth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The train ride had gone smoothly (other than a visit from Malfoy) and now they were sitting down at the tables watching the first years being lead in by McGonagall. When they were all gathered in front of the Sorting Hat everyone in the Hall quieted down to hear the hat's song. They waited with baited breath…but nothing happened and after a long moment Harry and co. could hear murmurs throughout the hall.
This was when it started. A techno beat started playing through the hall and four students all from different houses were pulled by seemingly invisible marionette strings.
Terry Boot at the Ravenclaw table started singing.
I'm a Ravenclaw
I like to read books.
When I cast spells
They're off the freakin' hook.
His verse was accompanied by him waving his wand about in a very haphazardly manner. Across from Harry, Ron was the next person to go.
I'm a Gryffindor
I'll fly with my friends
We'll never back down
And fight to the end.
I'm a Slytherin
I am very rich
I'll go on a date
With whoever gets the Snitch
Daphne Greengrass at the Slytherin table sang sending a wink to Harry at the end. Cedric Diggory was the last person to go.
I'm a Hufflepuff
Just staying relaxed
Gimme drinks and friends
No feuds we got tact.
"Ew…who brought the Hufflepuff?" Daphne half sneered
"Heyy…I'm just trying to have a good time over here." Cedric replied.
A good time…
A good time…
They all sang before the next four students were pulled up. It was the Ravenclaw's again that started off singing only this time it was Cho Chang.
I'm a Ravenclaw
Got wit beyond measure
I can catch the Snitch
Like it's caught up in a tether
Behind her Goyle opened his mouth and started singing.
I'm a Slytherin
The house of a snake
Come get in my way
And get tossed in the lake.
Harry followed Goyle and when he finished the whole table cheered for him.
I'm a Gryffindor
And we own the sky
Yeah, we always win
With our rally cry.
I'm a Slytherin
The top of my class
If you disagree
I'll kick your Muggle ass.
Blaise Zabini's verse offended Hermione since everyone knew that she was the top of their class.
"Uhhh..Blaise…do you even know who Harry potter is?" Goyle asked confused.
"Well…I haven't met him…but..I've read all the books!"
Let's beat him up…
Let's beat him up…
They all sang again while four more students were pulled up. While they sang they all made punching motions. This time it was Draco Malfoy who started things off.
I'm a Slytherin
A big fan of Snape
If it's a MoM album
We have to say Snape.
At the Hufflepuff table Justin Finch-Fletchley took over and gestured to the friends sitting around him as he sang.
I'm a Hufflepuff
We're true to the end
United we stand
So I stand with my friends
Only the people sitting around him had noticed that Neville was the one standing at the Gryffindor table.
I'm a Gryffindor
As brave as they come
With my namesake's sword
I'll get the job done.
I'm a Ravenclaw
My brain is super fast
Like Sheldon Cooper
But not a total ass
Luna Lovegood sang at one end of the Ravenclaw table.
"So, who's this Sheldon Cooper guy anyway Luna?" Neville asked.
"He's from the show The Big Bang Theory." She replied.
Everyone standing looked at Luna funny before Terry Boot spoke.
"You're outta the band." He said
Then everyone standing did something that made a majority of the older muggle born and muggle raised laugh hysterically. They separated their thumbs from their pointer and middle fingers and those two fingers from their ring and pinky fingers making a large "v" between those fingers.
He's no Spock…
I don't wanna go…
When the music finished everyone slumped back into their seats. Most were red in the face (like Harry and Ron) but some (like Luna) just sat contentedly in their seats. Fred and George were standing on their seats bowing while the rest of the hall (including Dumbledore and Flitwick) clapped loudly.
"Well," said Dumbledore speaking before the sorting for the first time in recent memory, "I believe that explained about the houses well enough. Professor McGonagall, shall we move along with the sorting?"