Scene opens in Joey and Annette's apartment. Enter Joey and Annette, soaking wet.
Annette: I can't believe you! What were you thinking?
Joey: I'm sorry! But they challenged me! I couldn't say no!
Annette: They were TEN year olds! They're young enough that they don't know better!
Joey: Well, for ten year olds, they have some rather good aim.
Annette: I'm not nearly as upset about the water balloon fight you were having as I am about THIS.
Annette holds up a bra.
Annette: Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a good bra? Why didn't you use Rachel or Monica's bras?
Joey: Not enough elasticity. Besides, that's Alex's bra. Not yours.
A pause.
Annette: Really?
Joey: Yeah.
Annette: Lock and load, Tribbiani! Those kids are going DOWN.
Joey and Annette exit. Theme song and title sequence plays.
So no one told you life was gonna be this way.
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear.
Well, it hasn't been your day, week, month, or even your year.
But, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I'll be there for you, like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too.
Scene opens in Central Perk. Ross, Monica, and Chandler are sitting on the couch. Rachel is sitting in the armchair. Mike is sitting in the chair at the end table, Phoebe in his lap.
Chandler: So what do you guys feel like doing tonight?
Ross: I have to setup a display at the museum for one of my classes next week. If you're bored, you can help me.
Chandler: OR, even better idea: strap myself to a chair, and listen to Janice laugh for six solid hours.
Monica: Oh honey, you won't do that.
Chandler: If it comes down to a choice between helping Ross set up dino stuff or listening to her laugh, I will.
Monica: Chandler, NOTHING is worse than Janice's laugh.
Chandler: Really? Okay. How about I set a sweaty drink on the coffee table WITHOUT a coaster, and play a track of Janice laughing? Then you tell me which is worse.
Monica: Okay, okay! So there are worse things than Janice's laugh!
Chandler: Like helping Ross with his dino crap.
Ross rolls his eyes. Enter Joey and Annette.
Annette: For the last time, Joey, Treeger is not going to let you build a catapult on the roof just to get back at those kids!
Joey: But it's only fair! Besides, I'm wondering where they got that kind of reach with a hose at.
Annette: Probably from the fire hydrant on the corner.
Joey: How did they reach us?
Annette: You didn't see the water streaking UP?
Joey: I was too busy slingshotting water balloons at the kid who was flirting with you.
Mike: Wait, hold on. You two were flinging water balloons off the roof of the building at some kids on the street?
Joey: No, of course not!
Mike: Good.
Annette: We were flinging them ACROSS the street, until those stupid cheaters tapped a fire hydrant, and used a catapult on us. And now the genius here wants to build his own catapult on the roof.
Joey: Which Treeger will let me do! I know he will.
Ross: Joey, you DO remember the entertainment center right? Not only did you cut the door in half, it was WAY too big. And you want to build a catapult?
Joey: Well, you and Chandler can help me.
Chandler: Oh, I would, but I don't want to.
Ross: You know, Joey, if you're bored, you can help me set up my display at the museum for my class next week.
A pause.
Joey: See ya.
Joey, Chandler, Rachel, Mike, Annette, and Phoebe hastily exit. Scene ends and opens in Joey and Annette's apartment. Annette is standing in the living room, chewing on her thumbnail. Enter Mike.
Mike: Hey.
Annette: Mike! Oh, wow, hi! How are you, cousin? Anything you wanna talk about?
Mike: I'm…fine. Are you okay?
Annette: Peachy! Spectacular! Beautiful day! Just smell that fresh air!
Annette opens the window, takes a deep breath, and starts coughing.
Annette: Smog.
Mike: Annette, what's going on?
Annette: Nothing! Nothing is going on. Everything is perfectly fine. Why do you ask?
Mike: You're chewing on your thumbnail, and you're unusually cheerful. Something's bothering you, so what is it?
Annette sighs.
Annette: Okay, you remember the job offer I told you about last week?
Mike: Yeah. In fact, that's why I came by. I wanna know when you're leaving, because Phoebe wants to throw you a party.
Annette: I'm not going.
Mike: What?
Annette: I didn't take the job.
Mike: Why?
Annette: I don't wanna leave New York.
Mike: Why not?
Annette: Mike…I'm in love with someone. And I don't wanna leave him.
Mike: Well, do the others know you're not taking it?
Annette: No, I haven't talked to them yet. Please don't say anything.
Mike: I won't. But Annette, are you sure about this?
A pause.
Annette: Yeah, I am.
Mike smiles.
Mike: Good luck. And Heaven help that poor guy you're staying for.
Annette giggles. Scene ends and opens in Central Perk. Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch. Ross is looking over at the counter, where Gunther is working.
Monica: Ross, I need your help.
Ross: Uh huh.
Monica: I need to tell Mom and Dad something, but I'm not sure how to break it to them.
Ross: Uh huh.
Monica: Ross, are you even listening to me?
Ross: Uh huh.
Monica glares.
Monica: Rachel is leaving you for Mark in Paris, and she's taking Emma with her.
Ross: Uh huh.
Monica rolls her eyes, and smacks Ross.
Ross: Ow! What was that for?
Monica: You're not even listening to me!
Ross: Sorry. I'm waiting for that line of customers to die down, so I can talk to Gunther.
Monica: About what?
Ross: Borrowing Central Perk for a while tonight.
Monica: Why?
Ross: I'm gonna do it tonight, Mon.
Monica gasps.
Monica: Really?
Ross: Yeah. I wanna talk to Gunther about getting the coffee house tonight, but that line of customers is gonna keep him busy for hours.
Monica: No, it won't. Watch this.
Monica stands up.
Monica: Hey, people?
The customers turn to stare at Monica.
Monica: He spit in my brother's coffee.
Ross: Monica!
The customers leave. Gunther and Ross glare at Monica.
Monica: There, now he's free.
Ross: Have you lost your mind?
Monica: You said you wanted to talk to him!
Ross: Yeah, TALK to him! Not get banned from the coffee shop for life!
Gunther walks over.
Gunther: What was that all about?
Monica: Ross wants to talk to you, and you were busy.
Ross: I said I was willing to wait for the customers to leave!
Gunther: Give me one reason why I shouldn't ban you, Monica. You cost me most of my business today.
Monica: For one thing, New Yorkers have short memories. By tomorrow, they'll all be back. And for another, I'm willing to clean this place into a spotless zone before your health inspection next week.
Gunther looks at Monica.
Gunther: How did you know about that?
Monica: Annette.
Gunther: I really gotta stop telling her everything…
Monica grins.
Monica: Is it a deal?
Gunther: Fine. So, what'd you wanna talk to me about, Ross?
Ross: Um…can we talk in private?
Gunther: Sure, come on back.
Gunther and Ross walk to the back of the coffee shop. Enter Phoebe.
Phoebe: Hey, Mon. Guess what?
Monica: Sshh! Ross is talking to Gunther; I can't hear what they're saying.
Phoebe: About what?
Monica: Ross wants to use the coffee shop tonight to propose to Rachel.
Phoebe gasps.
Phoebe: Really?
Monica nods.
Phoebe: Oh my god, finally! My lobsters are getting married!
Monica: He's proposing, not saying "I do"!
Phoebe: But every woman he proposed to said "I do".
Monica: And divorced him. What makes you think she won't?
Phoebe: Because it's Ross and Rachel. They're lobsters.
A pause.
Monica: You're right. So what's up?
Phoebe: Oh, I'm meeting Mike here. We have a really big announcement we wanna share with you guys.
Monica: Oh, okay.
A pause.
Phoebe: Oh, screw it. I'm pregnant.
Monica gasps.
Monica: Oh my god, Phoebe, are you serious?
Phoebe: Uh huh.
Monica: Oh, this is great! You can be my partner!
Phoebe: Ooh, okay! What are we stealing?
Monica: Uh, no, Pheebs. My PARTNER.
Phoebe: What…what do you mean? We're both married. I mean, not to each other, obviously.
Monica places Phoebe's hand on her stomach.
Monica: Phoebe. My PARTNER.
Phoebe: Oh. OH! Monica, are you sure?
Monica: Yeah. I took a test last night.
Phoebe: Does Chandler know?
Monica: Yes, and now you know. Please don't say anything to anybody yet. I don't wanna ruin Ross's big night.
Phoebe: I won't say a word, I promise. Ooh, this is so great! We're gonna be partners!
Phoebe and Monica hug. Scene shifts to Gunther and Ross, standing by the counter. Gunther and Ross are staring at Monica and Phoebe.
Gunther: What in the world got into those two?
Ross: Monica, I have no idea. As for Phoebe, well…she's Phoebe.
Gunther: Good point. So, what'd you need?
Ross: Well, I was um…I was wondering if I could borrow Central Perk tonight for a while.
Gunther: Why?
Ross: Because…I'm gonna propose to Rachel, and I wanna do it here.
Gunther: Really?
Ross nods.
Gunther: Okay…on one condition.
Ross: What?
Gunther: You let me have the planetarium for my date tonight.
Ross: Really? Sure, no problem. Um…who's your date? I have to let security know.
Gunther: You promise this stays between us?
Ross: No further.
Gunther leans closer.
Gunther (whispering): It's Alex.
Ross: Wait, ANNETTE'S Alex?
Gunther: Yeah. We've been dating for four weeks now. And we're both into astronomy, so I thought for our date, we could use the planetarium.
Ross: Sure, no problem. I'll call security and make sure they know you're coming in.
Gunther: Thanks.
Gunther holds out his hand.
Gunther: Good luck, Ross.
Ross: You too.
Gunther and Ross shake hands. Ross walks over to Monica and Phoebe.
Ross: Everything's set for tonight.
Phoebe: Yay!
Monica: Ross, I'm so happy for you!
Phoebe: You two are finally gonna get married!
Ross: We're not getting married! I'm just proposing! Besides, there's no guarantee she'll say yes.
Phoebe: Of course she's gonna say yes, Ross! She's your lobster!
Ross: Yeah, I know, but-
Ross pauses, with a panicked look on his face.
Monica: What is it?
Ross: I can't do it. I can't go through with it.
Monica: What? Of course you can!
Ross: No, I can't!
Phoebe: Yes you can, Ross! You can do this!
Ross: I can't go through that again! I gotta-I gotta go.
Monica: Ross, wait!
Ross exits, Monica and Phoebe following. Scene ends and opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Enter Ross, Monica, and Phoebe.
Monica: Ross, what the hell is going on?
Ross: I'm calling Mom. I'm gonna have her come get Grandma's ring.
Monica: What? No, you're not!
Monica takes the phone from Ross.
Phoebe: Ross, talk to us! What is bothering you?
Ross: I can't do it, okay? I can't propose to Rachel!
Phoebe: What? Yes, you can!
Ross: No, I can't! I'm calling this off.
Monica: Give us one good reason why you can't! After all the setup you went through, give us one damn reason why you can't go through with it!
Ross: No!
Monica: TELL ME!
Ross: CAROL, EMILY, AND VEGAS!
Monica's expression softens.
Phoebe: Ross…
Ross: Three marriages! Three! And divorced each time. It's like I'm cursed!
Monica: Ross, I…
Ross: And no matter how much I joke about it, divorces hurt.
Ross starts to cry.
Ross: And I can't put Emma through that.
Monica hugs Ross.
Monica: It's okay.
Phoebe: Ross, do you remember what I told you the night Emma was born?
Ross: That I could finally have everything I ever wanted since I was 15.
Phoebe: This is your chance. Take it!
Monica: Honey, I know you're scared. I would be too, if I had to go through three divorces, like you did. But you have to remember, Rachel gave up a chance for a really high paying job in Paris to be with you. She loves you. And you love her. It's going to be okay.
Ross: But what if it isn't? I can't handle being divorced for a fourth time. And I can't drag my baby girl through that, it's too painful.
Phoebe: Why do you think it won't work out?
Ross: Oh, I don't know, VEGAS, maybe?
Monica: Ross, you and Rachel were drunk when you two got married. And besides, that was Rachel's idea. Also, weren't you the one who said Nevada should never let people get married when they're that drunk?
Ross: Yeah…
Monica: This time, you won't be drunk or rushing into it and Rachel isn't a lesbian.
Ross: You're right.
Phoebe: So, are you gonna do it?
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, I am. Uh, Mon? Can I have my phone back?
Monica: Why?
Ross: Because I need to call the museum, and make sure security knows Gunther and Alex are gonna be there tonight.
Phoebe: Wait, ANNETTE'S Alex?
Enter Annette in a Batgirl costume.
Annette: What about Alex?
Phoebe: -andretta. You know, the starting place for the Grail search.
Annette: Were you watching Indiana Jones again?
Phoebe: Um…maybe.
Annette: Phoebe, there's no way you'll find the Grail off that map.
Phoebe: That's not true! I can find it! I just need to go to Iskenderun.
Annette shakes her head.
Ross: Annette, what's with the costume?
Annette: I was brooding.
Monica: Where, a cave?
Annette: No!
Ross: Good.
Annette: I was hanging from my ceiling. Until the suction cups gave way…
Monica: THAT explains the loud crash and "DAMMIT!" I heard coming up!
Annette: Hey, YOU fall off the ceiling onto a hard floor, and see what you say!
Enter Joey, in a Batman costume.
Joey: Annette, let's go! We're gonna be late!
Annette: Okay, I'll be ready in a moment.
Ross: Uh, Joey…what's um…?
Joey: Oh, the costumes?
Monica: Yeah.
Joey: We're going to a costume party for the cast members of Days of Our Lives.
Ross: Dressed as Batman and Batgirl?
Joey: Yep.
Phoebe: Why not go as Robin?
Annette: I am NOT showing off my legs to a room full of drunken men, thank you!
Ross: And showing off your chest is better how?
Annette looks down at her torso.
Annette: It's covered.
Monica: She's got a point.
Ross: Yeah. Anyway, what's up?
Annette: Gunther wants to know if you got the arrangements set up for him with the museum tonight.
Ross: I was about to call to do that, when you walked in looking like something that escaped from a comic book.
Annette: Shut up, I like it!
Monica: Joey, I thought you said you were gonna go as the Eleventh Doctor.
Joey: I was, but Annette won't dress up as Pond.
Annette: I am not gonna dress as a policewoman kiss-o-gram for your amusement!
Joey: It was the only costume they had!
Annette: That's why I picked the Batman outfits. Now let's go, we're gonna be late.
Annette pushes Joey out the door. Scene ends and opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Ross is standing in the kitchen, reading the paper. Enter Rachel.
Rachel: Hi, honey.
Ross: Hi.
Ross and Rachel kiss.
Ross: How was work?
Rachel: Ugh, don't even get me started. We had this lady come in today, who I SWEAR is color blind. The dress she was trying to get us to buy was so hideous, I don't think even Phoebe would wear it.
Ross: Wow, that bad?
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel sighs.
Rachel: Anyway, I'm just glad to be home. Is Emma in bed yet?
Ross: Actually, she's over at Monica and Chandler's. I had a surprise planned for tonight, but I didn't know work was going to be that bad for you.
Rachel: Oh honey, that's fine. I need a break from everything, anyway.
Ross smiles, and takes her hand.
Ross: Come on.
Rachel follows Ross out the door. Scene ends and opens in Central Perk. The lights are turned low. Lilies sit in vases on the tables. With or Without You plays on the PA system. Enter Ross and Rachel.
(A/N Stop! (And much as I wanna say "Hammer time!" I'm gonna forgo the easy joke.) Now, I want you to go to YouTube and load U2's With or Without You for the following scene. Trust me, you're gonna wanna do it.)
Ross: Okay, we're here. You can open your eyes.
Rachel opens her eyes, and gasps as she sees the coffee shop.
Rachel: Ross, what's going on?
Ross: I thought we'd take a trip down Memory Lane tonight.
Rachel: Why?
Ross: You'll see. Rach, do you remember the first day you came to the city?
Rachel: Yes. I came into this coffee shop in my wedding dress, looking for Monica.
Ross walks over to the couch.
Ross: I was standing here, Chandler was in that chair at the end table, and you came running in. What you never knew was that right before you entered, I had said I wanted to be married again.
Rachel: And then I came running in.
Ross: This led to Chandler's remark.
Rachel: I always wondered why he said he wanted a million dollars.
Ross walks over to the other side of the couch.
Ross: And then I was standing here when you came over to greet me after all the time you and Monica spent apart. It was also the day my umbrella had that malfunction.
Rachel laughs.
Rachel: A malfunction, huh?
Ross blushes.
Ross: Yes, and that's the story I'm sticking with.
Rachel smiles, and kisses Ross.
Rachel: Well, malfunction or not, I'm glad you were here.
Ross smiles, and walks to the counter.
Ross: And then here, we had that fight because you felt like you were being clobbered, every time we tried to be together.
Rachel: Ross…please don't go down that road.
Ross: No, it's fine. This is Memory Lane, and even the bad places can be touched on tonight.
Rachel: I'm so sorry…
Ross: It's fine. It was a long time ago, we both grew up since then.
Rachel wipes the tears from her eyes, as Ross walks to the doors.
Ross: Rachel, do you remember what happened here nine years ago?
Rachel: No.
Ross: Here, maybe this will help.
Ross walks outside, and stands at the door staring in.
Rachel: Oh my god…how could I forget? Our first kiss…
Ross beckons to Rachel. Rachel walks over and opens the doors.
Rachel: Did you get locked out again?
Ross: No, I just wanted us to be up here.
Ross takes Rachel's hand, and stares into her eyes.
Ross: Rachel, I have loved you since high school, when Monica first brought you home to introduce you as her new friend. When you and her drifted apart, I married a woman I thought was as good as you, but in reality, she was a pale comparison to what was in my heart. When you re-entered our lives, all of the old feelings I had returned, stronger than ever. Because I knew it was you I wanted to be with, even when we broke up. We danced around each other for years, before we finally promised that we were done fooling around, the night you got off the plane. This spot was where we shared our first kiss. And now, I want it to be where I share another first with you.
Ross pulls out the ring box, and sinks to one knee. Rachel gasps, and covers her mouth with her hands, as her eyes mist over with tears.
Ross: Rachel Greene…will you marry me?
Ross opens the box, to reveal his grandmother's engagement ring. Rachel sobs as she nods her head.
Rachel: Yes! Yes I will!
Ross stands up, and slides the ring onto Rachel's finger. Rachel hugs Ross.
Ross (whispering): I love you, Rachel.
Rachel (whispering): I love you too, Ross.
Rachel leans back and kisses Ross passionately. Scene ends and opens in Joey and Annette's apartment. Annette is sitting in her chair, facing the door. Enter Joey.
(A/N I want you to stop again, & this time when you go to YouTube, load up Angel of the Morning by The Pretenders. Once you have that loaded, continue reading. Bossy bastard, aren't I? XD)
Joey: Hey.
Annette: Hey.
Joey: Guess what? I got two tickets to the Green Lantern movie! Let's go! If we hurry, we can get the good seats up top!
Annette: Joey…
Joey: I wanna get those college kids back for throwing popcorn on us at the Thor movie.
Annette: Joey, we need to…
Joey: Come on, we're gonna miss the previews!
Joey runs toward the door.
Annette: Joey, STOP!
Joey pauses and turns around.
Annette: We need to talk.
Joey: What's up?
Annette stands up and begins pacing.
Annette: Do you remember the audition callback I went to last week?
Joey: The soap opera one you, Rachel, and Ross were pranking us with?
Annette: Yeah, that one.
Joey: What about it?
Annette: I got offered the role.
Joey: Hey, that's great! This could be a big boost to your career.
Annette: Well, there's a catch.
Joey: What?
Annette: It's filming in Los Angeles, not New York.
Joey: Oh. When do you have to leave?
Annette: I'm not.
Joey: What?
Annette: I turned it down. I'm not taking the role.
Joey: Are you crazy?
Annette: What?
Joey: That's a big boost to your career, and you're gonna turn it down. Have you lost your mind?
Annette: No! I just…I don't wanna leave New York.
Joey: Take it!
Annette: Huh?
Joey: Take the role! Call them back right now, and tell them you'll take it.
Annette: No!
Joey: Tell them you're my roommate, I'm sure they'll give you a second shot at accepting it. I have a lot of pull in that community.
Joey grabs the phone and starts dialing.
Joey: Here, I'll get them for you. What was the name?
Annette: Joey, quit it!
Annette grabs the phone.
Annette: I'm not taking it! It's done! Okay? Let it go!
Joey: No, it's not okay! Take the role, Annette!
Annette: No!
Joey: Why not?
Annette: I can't tell you.
Joey: Why?
Annette: Because I can't. I just…I can't!
Joey: Dammit, Annette! I'm getting tired of this! Just tell me why!
Annette: No!
Joey: WHY NOT?
Annette: BECAUSE I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU, OKAY?
Joey stares at Annette with a shocked expression. Credits roll.
CREDITS SCENE
Scene opens in Monica and Chandler's house. Chandler is standing by a finished TARDIS. Enter Monica.
Monica: Honey, the school called. The twins are sick, and the baby just threw up. Which one do you want?
Chandler: Neither. I'm off to explore the universe. So long, sucker!
Monica: Chandler, wait!
Chandler enters the TARDIS. Scene shifts to Monica and Chandler's bedroom. Monica sits up, grabs her pillow, and whacks Chandler with it.
Chandler: What, what? What is it?
Monica: If you so much as even THINK of using that TARDIS to abandon me with the twins and this baby, I will shoot you!
Monica lies back down in a huff. Chandler stares at her.
(A/N And this season is FINISHED. To all my readers, I have to say: it's been one hell of a ride. Since I was threatened with bodily harm if I don't do a Season 12, I'll start it when I return from Dragon*Con in September.
Many of you may be wondering why I chose to have Ross propose in Central Perk, instead of the planetarium, like he described in TOI Massapequa. In all honesty, that planetarium proposal thing has been done to death in other fanfics. Now, I'm not knocking those authors their choices to have it done there, by any means. But I felt that not only was Central Perk important to the gang as a whole, it was also a change of pace from the same thing seen over & over in other fics.)