A/N: I don't own Twilight, these lovely characters, or any part of history. Excuse me while I go be really sad now

Ok this time, come at me with pitchforks and torches. I deserve it. I've actually been gradually working on this for all this time, isn't that depressing? NO MORE HIATUS. ITS DONE. I will be updating more now. Junior year is a bitch, guys. Beware, if I have any readers that young. But the ACT is done, the AP testing is done…ok gotta take those SAT Subject tests but let's be real…I'm taking at least one on history. No but seriously, no more school until September…Senior year! More AP and more lovely work. I just got back from visiting colleges on the East Coast, doing summer AP Spanish homework and reading books for AP World Lit (that part I really enjoyed, so sue me. Love me some Bronte and Shakespeare ) I typed the last…8 pages of this sitting in the back of my dad's car…I think he thinks I'm nuts typing away for this long. But I had Arnie Palmer and Reese's pieces for sustenance. It's all good. So Yale and College of William and Mary were the favorites… (no snow at that last one…so that would be hard.) ANYHOOZER enough about my boring, education filled life. Besides applications, softball games, and friends I will be painting and writing for all you…if you stayed with me. The last year has been extremely hard on my family and my education, however I hope you will read this update and not hate me too much. Life's gettin better Enjoy and PLEASE listen to the song at least once while reading this. He's a local guy, and I love his music! I had it on repeat the entire time I was writing. It's very very good. (That or I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie.) ok go read!

Chapter 9

"So underneath the concrete sky

Lucy puts her hand in mine.

She says life's a game we're meant to lose,

Stick by me and I will stick by you."

A Girl, a Boy, and a Graveyard—Jeremy Messersmith

Sharp pains brought me back from sleep as I became acutely aware of murmuring and gasps filling the air. I felt as if I was under a bubble, like those drifting in the Seine back in the city; the world was a blurry mess of night, faces, and bobbing lights. I fought to make my way to the surface but as my sides were jostled, prodded, and lifted my lungs expanded in an overwhelming intake of breath that weighed my body down. Cold fingers touched equally chilled cheekbones as if to brush away tears. Through the numbness I was only aware of a deep, warm voice breathing in the shell of my ear.

"Isabella?" it echoed …a voice I should know, the fervent tenor swaddling me in comfort… "Isabella? Bella?"

I felt him move further away, as if called. The muted voices around me grew urgent as more lights swam in my bubble; I was briefly reminded of the cathedral around the holidays of the saints.

My fingers twitched in thin air; trying to find the strength to pull him back to me to gain recognition was almost futile. Gritting my teeth, I tensed, focusing in on my hand, trying…grasping…

Where cold fingers had met my face before, they now held my hand still as the source of the voice hovered over my face with urgency.

"Bella?"

Forcing myself to blink again and again to regain sight, I found pools of green waiting to drown me. Their brightness reflected back in the surrounding candlelight, highlighting the affectionate anxiety that deepened the furrow of his brow. The urgency that lit them was astonishing: beckoning, bright…it brought me back. My eyes flitted back and forth like a cornered animal, fear naturally subduing the climbing pain.

"E-E-Edward?" My voice was sharpened iron shavings coming up my throat as I coughed. A moan sounded before I registered that it was my own, reverberating as I continued to be moved. Without seconds passing, his fingers and hands were stroking my face once more, calming.

"Shh…shh. You will be alright. I promise you…shh…shh. Carlisle is waiting up in an empty chamber…my brothers are just helping me get you there. Just breathe, ma belle."

Nothing registered other than his quieting tone as I attempted to at least do as he instructed, shutting my eyes against the small lights that danced in and before them. Moaning again, I clenched my jaw as my head throbbed heavier than Notre Dame's cathedral bells, always ringing and heaving.

"Edward…"it was a croak…a whisper, "Edward, I hurt."

"Bella shhh…I promise it will be better soon. You have to trust me, please. Please Bella." It was a hoarse, broken begging, and my heart ached in a way that was becoming exceedingly familiar.

My brow scrunched in concentration as the sharp tick of agony throbbed in my bones. Momentarily forgetting the comfort I had found in my savior, I arched my back against the pain. I longed to scream and tell them how it burned; couldn't they see how I was writhing? Aching?

Dammitdammitdammit….

I vaguely heard the swishing of night clothes with moth-wing lightness draw near, disturbing the once again numbing mist that was encasing my mind.

"Edward, wha—" a girl's alarming whisper was cut off with a clear of the throat from ahead of me. I felt the incline of stairs and groaned as my body involuntarily slipped to accommodate it. Hushed, harsh instructions followed thereafter:

"Mary Alice, please, go upstairs with Rose…Esme..could..would you?"

"But-"

A softer tone stopped her, perhaps their mother.

"Alice, do as your brother asks."

A huff of breath and soft foot-steps answered the request.

The burning sensation in my abdomen, head, and entire being continued to crescendo and I let my grip on consciousness slip.

So easy…soft…

"No, no Bella! Stop…come back," Edward held my face in his palms, forcing me to meet his gaze as I was pulled away. "Stay here, just a little longer now. I need you to stay awake, chere."

He mumbled harshly to those around him, and I felt as though we were flying now. I was jostled around as we ascended flight after flight of stairs, the air around my chilling my bare skin. Black spots danced as I groaned, clutching at my ribs. My hair was held away from my face when I flinched.

"Get Carlisle, now." It was a growl, low and serious.

Footsteps pattered, echoing around like rain. My breath was coming out in gasps, the feeling in my legs scratching and slicing its way down to my toes. I was lifted gently; the coarse fabric of whatever I had been on being exchanged for something that reminded me of what heaven must be like. Reds swam in my vision, my bubble of colors dimming with candlelight. The loud bang of a door being opened snapped me out of the misty trance of slight comfort, the sound banging around in my head as a trapped animal would.

"Edward, wha—" an older man's question was cut off immediately.

"Carlisle, we were attacked. I don't have the time or the fucking patience to explain now," Edward ground out his sentences, "I think she broke a rib…I don't… I don't know! There were these…these ice chunks…maybe a brick… and these gypsies scratching, and pulling, and…just, dear God. I can't…Just help her!" his breathing became harsh as he collapsed onto the bed, rattling my body.

"Dammit!" it came out as a strangled cry, my throat dry. The deluge of tears coming out of my eyes soaked my face, plastering my hair there. There was no time to be embarrassed about my language, not when knives were dancing a quadrille through my muscles.

"Oh god…" Edward groaned painfully, "Dammit I can't do anything right! Dammit…I'm sorry, ma Belle…shh….dammit.." he moved away my hair as a long string of obscenities was replaced by whispered hushes.

I felt a prick in my arm as Edward continued to breathe apologies in my ear; a cool liquid seeped heavily through my body and I felt leaden.

"Of course I'm staying, Carlisle," he sounded so far away… "Just…just help her. Please…"

Edward's soft voice lulled my mind into tranquility as I lost focus on reality while each facet of my body let go into the plush world of abyss and dreams. The heavy sensation that pushed its way was a welcome intrusion; I felt myself become dead weight, as if I hadn't been limp enough already. The knives stilled for an intermission, and the burning sloughed out by an invisible wave. A hand, which I silently prayed was Edward's, touched my face lightly once more and brushed the hair out of my face before the dark, velvet comfort of blackest sleep came again.

It was the stiffness of my every ligament that pushed me into consciousness. I felt heavy, weighed down by some immeasurable gravity permeating by muscles. The warm environment I was surrounded in was a fake heaven, starkly contrasting the inner slow burn that slid as oil does to each limb. My conscious grappled with the dregs of sleep, attempting to sedate the returning rustles of rusty aches like rum to an old drunk. There had been no nightmarish recollections of the carriage, only deep and caressing rest. The light behind my eyelids now was a soft glow, different from the starkness of before. It beckoned me further away from the nothingness of unconsciousness. The heady, weighty aroma of roses covered an underlying, increasingly sterile scent. I grimaced as my ribs slashed away the last of my inner peace; I must have made a noise because within seconds there was Edward, stroking my hair for signs of imminent distress.

"Hush once more, ma belle. All is safe…you are safe now," the slight upturn of a smile appeared when our eyes met, "Hush and be still—I'll take care of you, if you will permit it. You are in no condition to go about as you once did at the present…I beg you to let me keep you here as a precaution, if nothing else."

So earnest and tender was his tone that I felt as if I sunk deeper in the depths of comfort, leaning into his touch and trying to forget the demanding pangs of harsh aches in my body. I dared not speak for fear of awakening the monster that had burned before throughout. Instead, I merely nodded as much as my current state permitted, trying to turn the apparent grimace on my face to something of a smile in return.

Edward's eye brightened considerably at my acquiescence, a genuine grin of ease, perhaps even excitement, lighting his brooding countenance. The seeping of some cool sedative calmed me once more, climbing into my body by Edward's administration through a needle I refused to look at.

I blinked groggily, and realized I had been changed…

Oh. My. God. What if Edward did it? …

"Um…Edward…what am I wearing?" I scratched my eyebrow in an awkward gesture, looking up at him with questions in my eyes.

He snickered, though the sound was warm and light.

"Yes...Alice and Esme thought you would be…ahem…more comfortable in that. They, well, they dressed you in one of Alice's old underthings…I hope that's alright. Your trousers," he smirked, "and shirt were pretty torn up. I wasn't here…I did not see anything if that's what you're worried about. I would never take advantage." His expression was one of sincerity.

"Oh."

Brilliant, Bella.

He smiled slightly.

"I can give them my gratitude when I see them, but thank you too Edward. It means so much that you've put so much effort into making me comfortable. You can only imagine."

"Of course I will make you comfortable, Bella. Your happiness is what I want." I felt my face warm as I leaned into him to rest.

I tried not to worry, for the moment, what would be said of the family harboring a homeless peasant; far more drastic things had happened as of recent in the towns around than such an event. Poor Angela did not register in my selfish consideration to stay with the Cullens, far away from the upheaval of Paris and the sad reality of my existence. For now all I cared was that I was staying with Edward, whether out of his pity or true thoughts for my well-being it did not matter. I would take advantage simply because I found that as time went on, I could not stay away from this man. There was no power in me to resist his kindness, conversation, or offered safety any longer. It had begun to take more effort to stay away from him than I was willing to give up, and I found that the mere thought of refusing his help and care caused me more physical, mental, and emotional trauma than any physical accident could do. I had not the will power to refuse him anymore, or he for I.

His hand cradled my face gently and I snuggled into the bed more, forgetting the creaking of my stiff limbs and bones. Perhaps he had seen the anxiety in my expression.

"You are safe here, and no one can take you away. There will be no more gypsies, no more drunkards prowling the corners, and no more nights freezing on that god forsaken river. The sans-culotte cannot get us here in the country, I am sure. We…I…will not be taken from you, nor you from I," he rubbed his thumb to smooth my brow and to maybe assure himself of our safety as well, "They are taking in those in Paris who are not deemed worthy. I would not have you leave me for the grips of hell, Bella. Citizen Robespierre in power like a hungry monster, a creature terrible to us all. I shan't have you troubled with worrisome stories, ma belle. I want you to know the truth, but to also be assured of your safety with me…always."

The imagined faces of my family in the tumbrels brought protests to my mind…surely he could not be so hopeful. He was the aristocracy, and they were gone for merely associating with those in his class.

I frowned and began to question him, but his gentle fingers covered my lips.

The aristocracy is gone…this is insanity.

"I beg you to rest, and to not trouble yourself with things that are inconceivable and superfluous. I will not leave you, I swear it. There is time later to talk of the troublesome realities in the city, and time later to express concerns that do not pertain to your current wellbeing. For my sake and sanity, if not your own, rest and be at peace. We are far from Paris and many times safer than anything in those frozen streets. We have bread, candles, and a house of caring and trustworthy people. I promise you safety and ease, Bella." He smiled gently and leaned back against the grand headboard, though it seemed perhaps indecent for him to rest to easily next to me in this state.

I pushed myself up with the aid of his arm and looked up at his angular face, gasping as my ribs protested. I realized I would have to be happy leaning against his forearm and the pillows. The violence of the previous night seemed far away and I couldn't find it in me to be alarmed, frightened, or surprised; some sort of impenetrable blockage existed that pushed the memory away. The energy it took to recall it was much easier spent attempting to move and so I focused on half-sitting rather than reliving the assault.

Let's not forget that Edward has temporarily gone insane. Safe. There is nowhere in France that is safe.

I sighed and wheezed when my lungs ached.

His eyes betrayed the anxiety he felt at my movement and he clutched at my upper arms, bringing me to him.

"Bella…Oh Bella…shhh…just stay as you are. I've got you…" he brushed my hair away from my face and held me softly as I leaned against his broad form.

Dropping my gaze to the blanket clutched between my fingers and tried to relax against him. I breathed in deeply, smelling him…sunshine, cloves…there was that woodsy smell again… it was everything that was calming, warm, and good.

"I thank you for your help, in all sincerity and gratitude Edward," I started softly taking courage from his calming scent and peeked up at him, "I realize that I would be very near death now if not for you. Tisn't anything new to be in harm's way, but that you saved me means the world and beyond."

I paused again to take in a gulp of air. My head throbbed negligibly and I steadied myself before continuing.

"But Edward," it was a whisper, "I can't ask you to put you and your family at risk by staying here with me. Surely you should follow in the footsteps of so many of your stature and flee, to Metz if nowhere else. I had heard the King was headed there…it has to be safer than staying to watch someone who, if in her right mind, should be against you and everything you stand for…"

I saw his frightened glance and quickly tried to fix it, "Not that I am! Not that I am…dear God of course I couldn't hate you, silly man. But you must see what I mean. What…what if they come to hurt you?" I asked in a breath, "What if they burn your belongings, your home…they'll bring pikes, Edward! By God they'll bring pikes, and fire, and everything that is dangerous and bad in the world! By staying here you are welcoming them, and no matter how much wine and bread you may put at the gate to placate them night after night, the mob will not stay at bay for long. I have heard too, from those in the city, of the hysterics they are reduced to. I could not…would not bear it if you were hurt. Hurt or…or…" I choked on my words before he wrapped me in his arms.

The tears came hot and wet down my face, staining the fine linens and his collar.

"Think of the Bastille, Edward. Of the Governor who was murdered...of your neighbors who, in all their finery have been harmed, have perished. You must not think like this. You will not be hurt because of me." It was whispered harshly, my vow to keep him safe. I let the tears fall silently as he held me. His breathing lifted his chest under my cheek, his heart pumping strong and true as we sat in the quite of the night.

He has taken care of you, Bella. You must take care of him…make him go to safety.

My mind and…oh God…my heart rebounded painfully against such thoughts.

I had no idea where the rest of his family was, perhaps asleep. The sky pulsed a color darker than pitch from behind the thick brocade curtains. I saw now how rich the room was that I had been so carefully rushed to: the thick mahogany wood working on the furniture with elaborate carvings, reminiscent of the Baroque style the permeated the court of the Sun King, long gone but still remembered in rich décor. In my pain I had not noticed the wall was colored a darkened shade of wine showing age and with faint flowering patterns in the paper, edged at the top by more wood and small, golden intricacies. The aged, dark stone floor was hidden by heavy carpets that matched the walls, their patterns sewn in similar colors and shapes with hints of purples, greens, and all that were rich and alluring. I nestled further into Edward's chest and he hummed in approval as I continued my gaze around the room, taking in the display of wealth.

A display that will kill them. Come now, Isabella.

A high fireplace and mantel sat opposite of the bed, made of both wood and stone. A glorious Caravaggio hung immaculately above, depicting a dark haired beauty of a boy. Trinkets of age and antiquity sat everywhere, and the dominating bookshelves pleased me immensely. The classics were seated quite carefully next to those of enlightened thought and the politiques.

They are forward thinking…perhaps…no.

I sighed in my frustration at the beauty of the room in candlelight, the colors reminding me of the expensive, thick paints which I coveted so dearly, the colors each their own enigma. Edward seemed to notice that I was caught in rapture of the space as he chanced a glance down at my face. His eyes turned soft as he nudged me to look at him.

"I thought you would like this room when I brought you here. It…" he paused, "it was my late mother's room. She…well she died when I was but a boy. I took it after her passing; I knew when you came to this estate it would please you." His face looked thoughtful for a moment as he rubbed the back of his neck, light red climbing softly of his cheekbones, "I…well I am giving it to you as long as you please. This house will be mine when Carlisle and Esme take another home or pass...Emmett didn't want it merely because it's the country chateau. I thought that, therefore, it would not be such a big deal to the others that I gave you this. I hope that's alright, Bella."

You don't deserve this.

My eyes went wide as I glanced around again, stunned into silence. Raking my glance over every piece and curvature I saw how large, how beautiful it was. The medical supplies on a low stand alluded to the smell I had picked up on earlier, but no matter. I was in no position to complain… I had my own room. A roof, promises of safety, warmth, a bed, and…and well I had Edward.

Damn the regime. Damn them for wanting to take my solace away.

I pictured Citizen Robespierre in a red haze, hating him and all he stood for.

Liberty, equality and fraternity be sent to the deepest pits and bowels of hell.

Edward must have mistaken my silence, for he became to ramble and brought me out of my hatred, "If you don't desire such a space, I'm sure I can give you something else. There are so many rooms in the estate…Esme has made many of them transcendent…I am so sorry for assuming Bella, so stupid of me. I was just…well I was trying to…never mind. You may have whatever you choose, whatever you so desire. Forgive—"

I clamped my hand over his mouth and slowly kissed his cheek, my own burning in shock. His stubble scratched gently at my skin, the smell of him calming my racing heart. I dropped my gaze immediately and then looking back up, met his shocked stare before thinking that perhaps equality would not be so bad.

"Edward, don't hurt yourself, come now," it was a soft breath, fervent, "Thank you. Thank you beyond words. I…I never thought…but Edward, this was yours. It was your mother's. I've already imposed terribly…I—"

He cut my off with his own hand, and I giggled lightly. Cocking his brow, he grinned back.

"Bella I want you to have it, for as long as it makes you happy. I will not take no for an answer if that's your reasoning." He chuckled, "Oh Bella…"

Shaking his head, he reached for me. I hugged his yet again surprised form tightly and ignored my sore body, beaming a smile into his shoulder.

"Sorry," I whispered, "I seem to be running the gamut of emotions today…" pausing, I turned to look at him, "Thank you, Edward. I—I owe you all of my gratitude, if that could possibly be enough."

"Silly girl," he admonished, tucking me under his chin again, "Of course it is enough. It will always be enough, ma chere."

Equality.

For how long we sat, just breathing, I am unsure. The night ran its course, tucked behind the glass that kept the cold out for now. Cream colored candles melted in their dishes, letting the balmy aroma of tallow wax and smoke coat the room in a translucent shade. Neither of us fell asleep, or closed our eyes. Sitting and thinking in one another's arms was better than sleep tonight. And think I did. I remembered the lonely nights, sitting at James' home, far away now. The cold, sharp feeling of acute loneliness and disgust at every pastel drapery and lace shoved at me. I saw the small face of Bette peering up from under a down coverlet, her eyes speaking of thoughts light and fleeting. It was a common look from all girls, no matter their age. I thought of the sadness I had felt at her innocence and unspoiled outlook on the world. She felt no longing for the family that was not really anything but a collection of related people with a common name. She did not miss the affection that I had so desperately craved. The Bette under the blanket became a new Bette peering out from the tumbrel, a waifish phantom of a girl…

"Isabella," she reached out, dropping her scrap of a doll through the bars, "Please, Isabella."

I cringed at the creaking and groaning of the cart, like old bones shifting in the catacombs.

"Sissy…maman and papa want to see you, please," tiny white fingers grasped at the empty air in front of me, mere meters away, "We miss you so much…come with us…come with us…" her whispered pleases echoed around the open space, planting themselves in my head.

Tears ran down her small, pouting cheeks as she sobbed, her shoulder bones stretching her thin frame. I couldn't look away, I couldn't even move. My lips parted to answer…to assure her of her safety. The ground below my feet ran red and I heard the whooping of an encouraging crowd in the next street. Gutters steamed with what the guillotine offered up, and there was little Bette in her cage, crying out and alone.

"Bette…Bette please…"

Her eyes snapped to mine, a new mixture of revulsion and hatred clouding the innocent brown that had drowned me in sorrow.

"You left me." Her small face became a gruesome glare, teeth bared she grasped the rust stained and ice coated bars in adolescent fists, jerking at them, hissing, "You left me with them! We're here because of you! You deserve to be in this place, not me. You're going to be my death, Sissy."

I gasped and shuddered violently as this…this creature accused me. This snarling imp that had replaced my sweet, baby sister…"No, I never left you…No, Bette…"

"Lies. All such lies…we never wanted you and still look at what you've done to me."

A man grabbed her around the waist as she clung to the bars, the sky dark around us, the streets hot with blood.

I was panting now, but could not move.

"You're next." She grinned as the blade was released and flew, so very slowly, so very heavily down onto her tiny frame…

I collapsed and sobbed, screamed…I was torn apart, burning…

"Bette…Bette…"

"Bella! Bella!"

"Bette…"

"Bella! Isabella!" My eyes raced open and darted around the room, duck bringing in light through the heavy panes of glass.

"Don't do this to me, come on, sweet girl, come back to me…Bella!" They flew to Edward who was holding my face in his hands, his eyes wild and afraid.

My breath came out in pants as he stroked my cheeks with shuddering fingers.

"Ed-Ed-Edward?" I whisper, my voice shaking palpably.

"Shh…Shh dearest. It's only a dream…I've got you now." He folded me tightly into his embrace as I shook, my heart thumping loudly in my ribs, "I've got you, ma belle…You're safe here…always…shh…"

He rocked me back and forth until my body stilled and wrapped me gently into the mass of down blankets, resting my head on his chest again.

"Do you want to talk about any of…that, Bella?" nudging my chin up so I could meet his eyes Edward ran his fingers along my jaw.

I stared at him for a moment and shook my head, desiring to try and forget, no matter how unhealthy.

"I…no I cannot. I…" my voice choked off.

He brought my face down to rest on his chest again, stroking my hair lightly.

"It's alright; Bella….it's going to be alright. I promise you…you're safe right here, always." He repeated the promises he had been making throughout the night, tightening his arms around me.

As the dusky pink of the sky settled around us, I only hoped that he was right. But, even then, Bette's words continued to haunt me:

"You're next."

There it is folks! Sorry if the dream was a little…weird? It just kind of came out while I was typing, and I liked it so I kept it! Thoughts, dislikes, likes, comments, ideas, anything…press that gorgeous lil' blue button down yonder and post a review. The more reviews the faster I post! Promise! (Ok my promises suck but this time I'll prove to you that I really DO promise!) Ttfn. I'm going to try not to melt my Midwest butt off now…geesh it's hot here. Xxxx

PS. If you have any song suggestions, all are welcome! Preferably stuff similar to Death Cab for Cutie, Rufus Wainwright, Regina Spektor, Fiona Apple, etc. Gracias!