A/N: Romance? Humor? From Ivy? I was just thinking about my favorite yaoi couple ever when it struck me that if they were to ever get married, Kakashi would definitely wear the dress. Of course, no one else would expect that.

And so this monster was born. Please excuse the ramblings of this crazy girl.

Wusbands

For some odd reason, everyone always assumed it would be Gai in the wedding dress.

Gai, on the other hand, always knew he'd be the one in the suit, albeit a green one, a green one with a tangerine orange tie tucked in. He was the man in the relationship. He was the one that kept it all from getting too messy. He was the one that took care of his husband… wife. Wusband.

Oddly enough, Kakashi always knew this as well, even back when they hadn't even really been dating, back just as friends who maybe possibly thought of each other that way, as much as he'd wished it, Gai would never be the one in the white fluff lace. And Kakashi had always liked skirts, the way they flew, were thrown slightly up in the air when you turned around real fast. And he'd always liked white, it was a nice color. A plain color. Simple.

It had been Gai to buy the ring as well, but everyone had expected that. Kakashi was too shy for his own good, too quiet and hesitant, no matter how decisive a warrior he made. And, because it was Gai, it had been the worst possible timing in the world, in front of at least half a dozen friends and maybe ten acquaintances, and it didn't take long for Naruto and Neji to be banging on Gai's apartment door, demanding an explanation.

'It's a birthday present.' Had been Gai's excuse. 'And he doesn't really like fancy things so that's why it's plain.' Of course, he wouldn't have even tried to justify himself to anyone but his team. He would have just flashed a double thumbs-up before hugging Kakashi around the middle much too hard and dragging him away.

The wedding had had to wait, of course, they were working shinobi after all, but within a year they'd arranged a date, Tsunade had even agreed to give them two week's break for a honeymoon. Gai's idea, the thought hadn't even crossed Kakashi's mind. He was so Gai-dependent.

At first Kakashi had protested. 'Why can't we both just wear suits?' he'd whined, making sure to be extra-pouty, because sometimes that sort of thing worked on Gai. But Gai was determined, and Kakashi had to admit it would be fun, if only in that 'You-should-see-your-face-right-now' sort of way. Needless to say, the enthusiastic couple had scared the tailor out of his poor little mind.

It had taken a lot of long, drawn out reassurances to make sure their students wouldn't crash the wedding, especially after they caught wind of the dress somehow (well, there goes the surprise), but eventually they'd had to submit to the idea. Their sensei were joining together in more ways than one would wish to think about, whether or not they gave their blessing. Of course, if either of the fiancés thought it would have actually hurt any of their students, their children, they wouldn't have gone along with the plan. But they'd get over it. Eventually.

They exchanged vows on the morning of September 15th, exactly 365 days since Gai had proposed in the middle of the Konoha marketplace, and suffice it to say it was a day that would be remembered for a long time. Whether because of the true-hearted enthusiasm of the normally stoic jounin, or because of the fact that Gai had suggested- and Kakashi hadn't the heart to deprive him of his fun- they write their own vows (they were shinobi, not poets, for a reason, but it's the sentiment that counts), or simply because of the fact that such professionals spent the entire day flouncing about in waterfalls of rumpled white cloth and a suit so shiny it reflected the sun like a mirror.

They left for their honeymoon that night, a small vacation town with lots of loud tourists and too many overpriced souvenir shops.

Apparently, the two had a complete blast.

When they finally returned to Konoha, sun-tanned and giddy and showing off their matching silver bands to anyone who would look for more than half a second, every single person who'd known the both of them for any amount of time had to admit that the Green Beast was a good influence.

Maybe.

And hey, as long as Kakashi stayed away from those terrible jumpsuit-things his wusband wore, the citizens of Konoha would find a way to cope with his newfound thing for skirts and pigtails.

Eventually.