Chapter 7 – The Phone Call

Despite only a few hours of sleep I was actually in a great mood. My alarm clock was set for 9:00 am but I never even heard it. Thankfully the sound of the phone ringing incessantly woke me. I often find it difficult to fall asleep, spending most of my nights just lying awake praying for unconsciousness to take over. It seldom comes though. My mind just has a hard time shutting down. I've always been that way and it seems that as the years pass me by my insomnia only increases. Last night was different though. Spending such an amazing evening with an even more amazing woman seemed to put all of my stress at bay and my mind was able to rest comfortably. On the rare occasion that I do fall asleep I am near impossible to wake up. The traditional alarm clock just doesn't seem to be enough to wake me. People have told me I am like a bear hibernating in the winter when I sleep.

This morning Bill Bray, the head of my security, felt the need to ring my phone ceaselessly until I answered. Strange, now that I think about it I cannot recall what he even called for. All I can remember was him commenting on how long the phone rang for before I answered. Oh well, I guess I was just that out of it. I am definitely not a morning person, that's for sure.

After speaking briefly with Bill and seeing that it was already 9:30 am I got out of bed and dragged myself to the bathroom to begin my fairly long morning routine. While getting ready I began to feel extremely nervous about my plans for the day. Last night I invited Alissa to come to my home, Neverland, for lunch. My plan is to reveal to her who I really am, but now I'm having cold feet about the whole thing.

When I first decided that I was going to disguise myself it seemed like the perfect plan. I knew that I wanted to get to know her better but I needed a way to be sure that I was learning about the real Alissa and not just a person hiding behind some mask. I can't recall the last time I felt like I had a real genuine conversation with a person. Everyone is always so fake around me, being who they think I want to see instead of just being themselves. What people can't seem to understand is that it leaves me feeling lonelier and more depressed. I feel like I don't know anyone and I guess in reality I don't.

When I first met Alissa she seemed genuine enough but I've been fooled greatly in the past. I wanted; no I needed a way to get to know her for who she really is. A disguise was the perfect way to do that. At first I figured that I could pull off the disguise for awhile, at the very least a few weeks. That should be enough time, I thought, to learn about Alissa and be sure that she was all she seemed to be. That plan changed last night. Of course I am sure that I could have continued to pull it off for awhile longer with no one expecting anything. After all no one would ever be able to see Michael Jackson working behind a desk at a hospital, right? So it wasn't the fear that anyone would suspect me that changed my mind about the length of which I would carry out my plan, it was her.

As the night progressed so too did that pang of guilt I felt in my stomach. Alissa was saying and doing all the right things. Here she thought I was just some average lower middle class guy and yet it didn't matter to her. She still seemed to have all those feelings that she had the first night I met her. When she briefly spoke about our intense meeting she had the opportunity to sell me out. To tell anyone and everyone that she met Michael Jackson and what it was like. She could have used that to her advantage, making herself appear more important because she had received career advice, well sort of, from the "King of Pop". Anyone else would have done so, but she didn't. She wanted to respect my privacy. I don't know of anyone I have ever met that cared about my privacy. No one ever put me before themselves, but in that moment she did.

Another detail from our conversation that really stuck out to me was that money didn't matter to her. When I told her that I really didn't have a lot of money, despite the way the extravagant evening eluded to that fact, she didn't care. She still liked me, still wanted to be with me. Too many people that are in my life are nice to me for one reason, the money. Even many of my own family members always have their hands in my pockets. With Alissa, I now know that I will never have to worry about that.

With each passing moment last night I was drawn to her even more and it's not difficult to see why. This woman has really blown me away and I only want to be closer to her, as close as I can get. Of course there is the physical attraction that I undoubtedly feel but with each word spoken that attraction began to grow far beyond the surface. From the moment I met her she captivated my body and now she is enthralling my mind and soul.

As wonderful as last night was something was off. Something just did not sit well with me and it was through no fault of Alissa, but of me, because I wasn't myself. Sure underneath the superficial disguise it was me. With the exception of a few things, like not being able to sing and having to borrow money to pay for the evening because I was not a wealthy man, I was honest with her. I never once lied to her about anything of importance, like my feelings for her. Yet still, to her, I was Chris and not Michael.

As badly as I yearned to finally feel her lips on mine, I was actually a little grateful for the interruptions. I know that must not sound great but I have my reasons. When we do get to share our first kiss, hopefully the first of many, I want it to be Alissa and Michael not Alissa and some made-up guy who doesn't truly exist. Makes sense, right?

So though my initial intention was to keep up the façade for a few weeks I just cannot bring myself to keep this from her any longer. She's affected me more than I ever thought she could in such a short amount of time. I can't hold it back anymore. She put a rather large crack into one of many walls that I keep up and she should know that. I don't want to get too far ahead of myself but I really feel that she is special and she could be that missing piece of the puzzle I've been searching for my whole life, that person that buries my loneliness for good, that person that fills the void in my heart permanently. I don't want another band-aid I want my heart and mind to heal and be repaired and Alissa Valetta may just be the woman to do it.

Yet here I sit, getting ready to reveal all of this to her and I am nervous. Why am I so nervous? I guess I just wonder if she's still going to want me once she realizes who I really am. It's a strange feeling for me to worry about being accepted. Typically, my fear is whether people are accepting me into their lives because they want something from me or not. With Alissa I already know that she doesn't want anything from me. So now I can't help but worry if she's actually going to like ME. She seems to have taken a liking to me but would she want to be with me as I want her to be? I know that I am not the easiest person to be with. There is just so much that comes with dating a celebrity like me. Will she want that? Will it scare her? I pray that she will be able to look beyond all of that and just see me, just a man who wants her, who needs her.

After finally getting dressed I hurry out of my room to give my staff all of my instructions for the day. Today needs to go perfectly; everything needs to be perfect for her. As I run down the stairs, two at a time, I trip slightly and nearly tumble all the way down. I manage to catch myself in time and quickly look around to ensure no one saw that. I am not a clumsy person and the few moments I've had of clumsiness no one has ever seen and I intend to keep it that way. Thankfully, today that is still the case.

We are going to be having lunch today in one of my gardens. So first I went to pick as many pink roses as I could find. In case you are wondering how I knew pink roses were her favorite well, I'll tell ya. There was nothing supernatural about my knowing her favorite flower or her favorite song. I did have a feeling about the flowers but I didn't want to take a chance on just a feeling. So what did I do? Well I asked one of her best friends.

Last month, when I had decided to go through with this plan of mine I felt that I needed an ally in this. Frank had proven not to be supportive and his attitude cost him his job. He was wrong though, as I did not fire him because of her but rather a long line of incidents where his attitude was similar. As the saying goes, this was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

Needing someone who could support me in this venture and offer help in some way I sought to reach out to Alissa's two best friends, Jessica and Karina. It wasn't too easy but not too difficult either. They are in the music business after all and so where there's a will there's definitely a way.

Karina seemed to think that what I wanted to do was romantic, in a way; Jessica on the other hand was not as thrilled. As I picked roses I thought back on the night they were invited to my home to meet with me.

….

"Good evening ladies, thank you so much for coming." I stepped aside to allow Jessica and Karina to come in to my home.

"No, thank you for inviting us." Karina gave me a warm smile.

"Wow. So this is where you live? This place is f*cking huge!" Jessica was clearly the most colorful of the three friends. "Sh*t, what I wouldn't give to live in a place like this some day." Yup, definitely the colorful one.

"I suppose I will take that as a compliment. Thank you Ms. Jessica." I tried to saturate my voice in politeness hoping it might rub off on her a bit.

"Oh yeah that was definitely a compliment." She said as her eyes roamed around the entrance scanning the walls and the paintings that hung on them. "Damn, this is f*cking amazing." She said under her breath. Oh well, so much for rubbing off on her.

"Well ladies, if you would kindly join me in the parlor. I have something I would like to discuss with you."

As I led them into the parlor a small smile tugged at the corner of my lips as I watched them both admire my home. For me, Neverland was a magical place and I had hoped that my guests would always feel that as well when they were here. It seemed that the magic did not escape either of them as I watched their eyes light up like two kids in a candy store.

"Please have a seat and make yourselves comfortable. Can I get you anything?"

"Oh yes um…I'll ha…" Karina shot Jessica a look which caused her to stop mid-sentence.

"No thank you, we're fine." Karina said sweetly and Jessica just nodded.

"So what is it you wanna talk about?" Jessica questioned.

"OK, well there is something that I am planning to do and I am looking for your help on it but first there's something I would like to explain to you both." They both nodded for me to continue so I did. "You may not have noticed but I was quite taken, I guess you could say, with Alissa that night we first met."

"Oh we noticed all right." Jessica blurted out catching me a little off guard. Was it that obvious? I chuckled a little nervously.

"Well, you see, there's only one problem. All of my life, every person I meet, every person that I get close to has only ever used me to get what they want in one form or another because of who I am. I cannot even begin to tell you how hard it is for me to trust someone, especially a woman, because of the way I have been treated in the past."

"We understand, believe me. We actually talked about that specifically." Karina said with understanding written in her eyes.

"I'm glad that you can understand where I am coming from. For the longest time, I have refused to show anyone who I am on the inside. When it comes to women I try to remain indifferent and passive never letting them in. It's worked for a long time but for reasons that I can't fully explain Alissa made me feel…well…differently. I don't know what it was, but something that night changed in me and I didn't know how to handle it. It scared me beyond words but afterwards when I had time to think about it more I realized that I wanted to get to know Alissa more. That night, after the show, I tried to have someone get to her and get her number but I was too late, you guys had already left."

"Oh well, that's no problem. We can give you her number." Karina offered with a smile stretched from ear to ear.

"Thank you, that's very kind of you. I actually have something else in mind though. You see, I know now that I want to get to know Alissa, but when I say I want to get to know her I really mean get to know HER. Being who I am I never get to know people for who they really are, ya know? For some reason people just can't be themselves around me. Instead they become whoever they think I want to see, a person they think I will like. Over the years I have learned how to tell what people are really like just from observing them carefully but sometime that just gets exhausting and sometime I'm not always right in my observations. I am tired of having to fight to find the truth that's hiding behind their masks, ya know? Just once I would like to be able to just get to know someone without them being someone other than themselves."

"Well, of course that's certainly understandable." Karina says warmly.

"Yeah man, can't blame you at all for that." Jessica adds.

"So when thinking of Alissa I wanted to come up with a way that I could get to know her for who she really is and not have to worry about her acting differently towards me because I'm Michael Jackson. As surprising as it is to me I really do want to get closer to her and I will do whatever I have to do to achieve that. Again, I cannot stress enough how much of an impact she has had on me."

"That is so sweet. You should know Michael, that you really had an impact on Ali as well. She would be thrilled if you felt half as much as she did." Hmmm. Ali…I like that.

"Well Karina, believe me when I say that what she made me feel has to be more because I can't imagine anything stronger than what I felt after one evening."

"OK, so what do ya wanna do?" Jessica wonders.

"Well, I…uh…OK here me out on this, OK?" I plead. They both nod an approval and I continue hoping that this doesn't come out the wrong way.

"Well the only thing I can think of to ensure that I am getting to know the real Alissa is if she is unaware of whom I really am. If she's speaking with Michael Jackson then there's always that chance that she will act differently then if I was just a regular guy, ya know? So what if I was just a regular guy?"

"Yeah, well you're not. So, how do you think you are going to pull that off?" Jessica asks.

"I um…well...by wearing a disguise." I cringe as I await their reactions.

"No way. You are one of the most…eh scratch that…you are THE most recognizable person on the planet. There is no way you could wear a disguise and someone not tell who you are." Jessica states matter-of-factly.

"Is that so?" I stand up and start to walk out of the room. "Excuse me; I just have to use the restroom. I'll be right back."

Less than ten minutes later I returned to the parlor, or rather "Chris" did.

"Good evening. Mr. Jackson asked me to give you his apologies; he had to take a phone call. He shouldn't be very long but wanted me to ask you if you would like anything." I spoke to them in my low voice that is seldom heard so it would be unrecognizable to most.

"Thank you, but we are fine." Karina answered for both of them, again. She looked right at me and nothing. No reaction at all. So I turned to Jessica to see if I could fool her just as easily.

"Ma'am, would you like anything?"

"Uh…no, I'm OK." She looked up at me with a rather annoyed expression. "He's not going to be that long is he?" Yup, I definitely had her fooled.

"Oh no ma'am, not long at all." I smiled as I walked over to the seat I had been sitting in before and sat down.

They both gave me kind of a puzzled look. I'm sure they must be wondering what a man who clearly just works here is doing sitting in his bosses seat looking like he is going to mingle with the guests. I removed the wig, the eye glasses and the fake beard and mustache (only leaving in the blue contacts) and watched as their mouths fell open.

"Um…wow. I guess I stand corrected." Jessica admitted.

"That's amazing!" Karina exclaimed.

"Yeah, that's one hell of a disguise. I never would have guessed it was you." Jessica added. "So, OK. Let me get this straight here. You want to get to know Ali while wearing that disguise so she is unaware that you're Michael Jackson?"

"Yes. I remember her telling me that she works at a hospital. So I figure that I can get a job there under a fake name and then I will "meet" her and just go from there."

"Well just how do you figure you are going to get a job at a hospital? I mean I assume you have no experience or any type of medical degree. What are you going to do if you aren't able to get a job there?" Jessica wondered.

"No, I don't have a medical degree but I'm sure you don't need one to work as a receptionist or something like that. Actually, I know the Dean of Medicine there fairly well. I have donated quite a bit of money to that hospital over the years. I am sure that I can ask for a favor." I answer her confidently.

"Oh, I see. Well then, there you go." She mumbles as her arms cross in front of her chest.

"Wow." Karina says.

"What?" I ask her.

"It's just that I can't believe how much trouble you are willing to go through to get to know her. I mean Michael Jackson is going to work at a hospital and risk being noticed in a very public setting all for a girl. You're going to put on what I imagine can't be the most comfortable disguise every day all just to get to know Ali. I think it's sweet and even romantic that you would go through all of that trouble for her." I was so happy that she saw exactly where I was coming from on this. I knew then that I would be able to count on her to help me with.

"I don't know man. I mean I don't know if it's right for you to do this but I guess if this is the only thing you can do then I'll do what I can to try to help." Even though Jessica wasn't as happy with my plan at least she offered to help and that was enough for me.

"Oh thank you both so much. This really means a lot to me. I swear that my intentions are pure. I just want to have this opportunity to put aside the superstar in me and just be a normal guy. I want Alissa and me to have a chance to get to know each other without all that "King of Pop" business getting in the way, ya know?"

….

Jessica and Karina remained true to their word and helped me along the way. One of the things they helped me on was the flowers and the music. I was beyond grateful for everything they had done. Soon, though, they would no longer have to help me cover anything up. Today our future together will begin, Alissa and Michael. I just hope that she will see everything as beautifully as I do.

After I collected the pink roses I proceeded to scatter them along the path from the back door of the house to where the small white cast iron table and two chairs sat in the garden. In the middle of the table I placed a crystal vase with a dozen of the roses inside. The setting was perfect; the woman that would soon be here is perfect. I would let nothing ruin this day.

I then ran into the kitchen and began to tell the chefs what I would like to have prepared for our lunch when I am interrupted by Elsa, one of my maids.

"Excuse me, Mr. Jackson?" Her voice was low and a little urgent.

"Yes Elsa."

"You have a phone call sir."

"Elsa, I am very busy this morning, can you please tell whoever it is that I will call them back later?" I don't have time for phone calls right now. Its 11 o'clock and I have only an hour to finish preparing for my day with Alissa.

"I'm sorry Mr. Jackson but the woman on the phone says it's an emergency and she sounds very upset."

"Well who is it?" I ask with urgency in my own voice now.

"I'm sorry sir but I had a difficult time understanding her, she was a bit hysterical. I think it may have started with a K…"

I hadn't let her finish what she was about to say. I ran as quickly as I could down the hall and into my office to take the phone call. I had this sinking feeling in my stomach and somehow I knew, I just knew, who was on the phone.

I stood there with my hand on the receiver and paused for a moment before picking it up. That sinking feeling in my stomach told me that this was not going to be good news.

"Hello, thi…this…is Michael." My voice had caught in my throat exposing a lump I didn't realize was there until I spoke.

"Oh God…Michael…oh my…oh my God…" Came her words in between her frantic sobbing.

"Karina what…what's wrong?" I felt the lump in my throat grow larger and that feeling in my stomach sink deeper. I was too scared to know the answer to my question.

"Car…she…accident…oh God…why?" She pleaded.

"Car accident? Who Karina? Who? What happened?" I screamed at her now feeling the hot sting of the tears run down my cheeks.

"Alissa. She…she was…she was in a…a car accident."

Oh my God.

"Oh no…" I cried as my voice became barely audible. "I…oh God…is she…is she OK?"

All that came through the line was even louder hysterical screams of pain and I had my answer before Karina even spoke the words.

"Michael, she's gone."

The receiver fell from my hand and I never even heard the sound of it hitting the mahogany of the desk. My legs gave out and I crashed down to the floor with a silent, to me, thud. I laid there on my side with my knees bent up to my chest and my arms wrapped tightly around them. My whole body shook uncontrollably and the tears that fell from my eyes never relented.

My whole world was shattered in that moment. I was broken.

How could this happen? This is not fair. I don't deserve this, she didn't deserve this. She was so young and had such a bright future ahead of her. A future I had so desperately wanted to be a part of. Now it was all gone. Her future, my future, in the blink of an eye everything I saw becoming a reality had vanished.

I laid there, for what was probably hours, in shock. My body would not stop trembling and the tears never ceased. I wanted to block out the whole world and just disappear. I closed my eyes in hopes that the darkness would consume me.

….

I opened my eyes at the sound of a phone ringing. When I looked around I saw that I was lying in my bed and the sun was shining brightly through the large French doors. How did I get here? I looked over at the clock and it read 9:30 am. The phone would not stop ringing so finally I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey Mike, its Bill. Did I wake you? Man it took you forever to answer the phone." Woah. Something was strange here. What is going on? It's like some sort of Déjà vu.

Wait a minute.

"Bill, what day is it?" I asked him with a sudden urgency.

"It's Saturday. Mike, are you feeling alright, man?" Saturday? That means…oh thank God, it was all a dream. A nightmare. A horrible nightmare. It seemed so real though. Frighteningly real.

"Mike, you there?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm here. Listen Bill, I have to go, OK? I'm sorry." With that I hung the phone up. I was so incredibly relieved. It was just a dream, everything was fine. It was Saturday and Alissa would be here in just a few hours just like we planned.

I got up from bed and walked to the bathroom to begin my morning routine. While in the shower something still didn't feel quite right. I know it was only a dream but in the dream it was Bill's phone call that woke me up that fateful morning. I guess it could just be a coincidence. I mean after all, Bill often woke me up with his phone calls in the morning. I'm sure everything is fine and I'm just being paranoid.

Once I had finally gotten fully dressed I quickly left my bedroom to begin working on the many preparations for my lunch date with Alissa. I ran to the stairs and took them two at a time. Mid-way down, I tripped but caught myself before I fell all the way down.

NO.

It can't be. I don't often find myself tripping down the stairs. Actually, come to think of it, I have never tripped down these stairs before, ever. This can't be a coincidence, can it? Suddenly I felt that sinking feeling in my stomach and the lump in my throat. Something was wrong.

I sat down on the steps and just stayed there. My body was just frozen in place. I felt it. All those feelings from my dream, I felt them again. I heard the grandfather clock in the hall chime signaling the time. It was 11 o'clock. I just sat there with my head in my hands, waiting.

"Excuse me, Mr. Jackson?" I cringed knowing exactly why she was standing before me, a reason which would lead only to devastation.

"Yes Elsa." I barely managed to choke out.

"You have a phone call sir."