Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or any of the characters, Akira Toriyama does.

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Every Namekian on Planet Namek liked Christmas a lot...But Lord Frieza who lived just west of Namek did not.

"All the children's squalling, the warriors' battles and games, but I must do more about it than just sit here calling them names", Frieza snarled. He decided to destroy each village and town, he arrived a bit late, (You see, he really wanted to impress them that night) should he wear battle armor, or should he wear a gown?

No matter, whichever he chose, he would quite a sight. Sadly, the gown clashed horribly with his skin, after donning the armor, he was ready to begin. Frieza had to get there, swiftly of course, that would be no problem, for his sleigh would be pulled by the Ginyu Force!

Swifter than a comet to the first town they came. Frieza cracked his whip as he called each of them by name. On Ginyu, on Guldo, on Burter, on Recoome, on Jeice.

"Wipe that foolish look off of your face! Get a move on! Put some wind in your sails, or my whip will come swiftly down on your tails!" Frieza landed on the first roof, and got in a quite a snit, he tried to slide down the first chimney, but just couldn't fit!

Frieza sighed, "This is becoming QUITE a chore".

Jeice grumbled, "Can't you just go through a window, or walk through the door?"

Frieza snapped "Oh you be quiet! I don't need any of your lip", and struck Jeice quite viciously with the end of his whip. "I can't think of another way, so guess I will try it". Jumping down from the roof, Frieza landed in the snow, the door or the window, which way should he go? To decide, he tried playing Paper, Scissor, Rock. When he lost to himself, it came as quite a shock! "I can't really waste another minute more, so I will simply just walk straight through the door!"

As he walked in, he headed straight for the tree, when there stood a young Namekian, who appeared to be no older than three. Frieza thought up a lie, so crafty was he.

"My child, there's no need for that look of fear on your face. Poor Santa could not make it this year, so I'm here taking his place".

He got the child some water and sent him to bed, then he muttered, "Ah, just think, in the morning, all of these vermin will be dead!"

Then to Frieza's horror, millions of Namekian warriors suddenly appeared, he cried out for the Ginyu Force, but somehow they had disappeared. Captain Ginyu had known that they would lose, so they left in great haste. They left so fast, they almost left behind Jeice!

After Frieza's defeat, all of the Namekians from oldest to least, sat down to a great and wonderful feast.

And as for Frieza...he...he himself...Lord Frieza WAS the roast beast!

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I hope everyone enjoys this update. Merry Christmas, everyone.

And any and all flames will be used to make delicious holiday treats such as cocoa and s'mores.