Each word the preacher stated, screamed, mouthed, it hit him. All of them were directed to him, meant to make him feel guilty, dirty, disgusting, a sinner. He wanted to run, hide under his bed, die, anything as long as he got away from the words and the preacher. He couldn't though. His mother was grasping his hand tightly, she wanted this. She wanted him to feel this. Behind her smile and intent gaze, she did.

He didn't mean to be like this.

Can you hear, mother dearest? It's not my fault. I'm sorry. You were the one that gave birth to me.

"Mrs. Jones," the preacher said, "Have you noticed the increase of homosexual activity?" The preacher smiled, his wrinkles making him look wise and old. He combed his white hair with his hand, careful not to get the ruby ring stuck within the tangled mess and placed his hand back with the other on his lap.

The Preacher was fond of God, to the point that he would draw others with him. Luring them in. He would ask his followers to wear black clothes, as a sign of mourning. While he would wear white. He says it's a sign. All the people who let darkness take them, will find the light. In the darkness you'll find The True Light. If you were exposed to too much light, and not enough darkness, you won't be able to see the light because other lights are getting you're attention. Lights of different colors. The Light would help them. Heal them. Make them feel better. It was supposedly a gentle light.

Alfred never knew that light could burn.

Alfred's mother tightened her grip on his wrist, her smiling looking more fake than usual. "Why, yes. Yes I have"

"Do you know that God hates gays?" He smiled wider now. He knows his secret, doesn't he? The teenager tried to free himself but he couldn't. He found it funny that he couldn't get himself free from his supposedly caring mother in his own home.

"No, I don't. Why's that so?" She tightened her grip. He could hear her thoughts. Stay here and listen. Listen, you piece of filth. That's odd. He wan't suppose to be able to hear thoughts.

The Preacher changed his position, making him look strong, powerful. He was probably going to say it. Say why Alfred why he's hated. It made Alfred feel sick to the stomach. "It's because it isn't right. It's wrong. It's an abomination to nature. No one should do that. Its disgusting. Filthy. A sin. *Paul said so himself. It's even in the Bible."

"Ah."

She gripped even tighter. You heard that?

"Would you like me to read that verse, Mrs. Jones?"

She smiled. "Of course. Also, I'm sorry 'bout my son." He smiled, turning to the passage.

Then, the grip kept getting tighter, and the words kept hitting more and more.

They knew his secret.

"Did you hear that?" She screamed, anger in her voice. Her breathing was ragged, her clothes dripping with sweat.

Alfred couldn't respond. His mouth was dry. His body ached. She's been doing this for many nights. Ever since she knew. Ever since the day The Preacher came to their home. She knew she couldn't have a gay with her. He would ruin her chance to true salvation. She gave birth to filth, therefore she is filth not able to go to heaven. She believed that the modern age people wouldn't make it to heaven. She's looking forward to the day that she'll be watching them as they suffer deep bellow the fiery pits, while she enjoyed eternal life.

But now, it wasn't like that.

"I said, did you hear what he said? You piece of shit!" Her whip made in contact with his back. He coughed out blood. He nodded.

"You're a disgusting piece of filth!" She hit him again. "Say it!" No words could escape from him. It hurt. Everything hurt far too much. Every part of him hurt too much. She hit him too much. "Not going to say anything, eh?"

And the nights kept going on and on like that. She kept hitting and hitting, while Alfred would just keep crying and hurting.

Life is cruel.

Life is far too cruel.

But tonight, she let him rest for a moment. She told him that she'll do something and while he waits, he better rest. Mrs. Jones never does that.

Tonight, she decided she'd hurt him in a different way. Instead of using a whip she hit him with something else, words. Instead of hurting him physically, she hit him at the heart.

Alfred just kept staring at the ceiling with lost eyes. Rest, he told his self. Rest, because the worst is coming.

And it did.

"-Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another..." She read with gentleness on the chair. She smiled kindly, rather than smiling with the fake one. It was as if she was happy and content with her life. Mrs. Jones looked happy. She was just happy that her son was suffering. Alfred heard her echo the words in his head. He wasn't sure anymore who was whispering to him. Was it his mother? Was it him? Or was he going mad?

There would always be thoughts that weren't his in his mind. They would sound like whispers to him. The whispers were the thoughts from those around him. He doesn't know how the whispers got there. It would make him smile sometime when he's at school, knowing what others thinks about him. Alfred Jones, Star player. Sometimes, he didn't like the whispering at all. It wasn't right. It sometimes made him smile.

He didn't like it either way.

Don't, Alfred thought. Don't hurt me with who I am. It isn't my fault. Stop, please.

"Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.

"Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them."

She sighed and smiled. She gazed at Alfred with cold dull eyes.

"Heard that, Alfred?" she paused to add bitterness in her smile, "You're disgusting."

Alfred laid down on the floor, unable to get to his bed. It wasn't his fault that he was who he was. He thought that God had a plan for everyone. Didn't that mean that him being filth was part of the plan?

His mother called him filth. His father left him because he was filth. His brother died- no, got murdered because he was filth.

Didn't God make everything? Didn't God make filth? Isn't everything that came from God good?

Maybe he didn't come from Him.

Maybe he was part of some weird twist of faith. Or maybe from a different universe. Or maybe from the devil himself but everything has a purpose. Maybe his purpose was this. His purpose was to feel all this pain because he was like this. Yes, he was born to bring suffering and gain suffering.

Alfred smiled.

Maybe it's true.

He closed his eyes. It could be true.

"I've come to pick you up."

The whisper he heard in his head was beautiful. Oh so beautiful. It was as if it came from heaven itself. That's odd, Alfred can't go to heaven. He's gay. No one accepted those. He was surrounded by those who hate them. Everyone hates them. They're dirty. Filthy. Sinners. Heaven wouldn't accept them. Gays can't go to heaven. Alfred can't go to heaven.

"Of course you can, git."

Then, the world was drenched in black.

Seek the light in the darkness

Look for it with your hardest

For when you find the light in the darkness

You will be shocked

Because of Darkness and Lights secrets

Felt bad, and while I was reading the bible, I discovered something.

* Paul wrote The Letters to The Romans

What's you opinion? Continue or Not?

:D