Chapter 11 – The Truth

I didn't sleep that night.

Judging from Max's face when I arrived for breakfast, neither had she. It was no surprise really, the two of us had ensured that both of the bathroom doors had remained firmly shut all night, and it was the first night I could remember even trying to sleep without her at least in the same room as me.

The two of us hadn't spoken since the "Lissa Incident", and the few times that Anne had tried to speak to me I'd remained passive until she'd given up and retreated.

Thank goodness it was Saturday.

Finally, breakfast passed – thankfully, without incident – and Max even plastered on a fake smile for the kids, and agreed to take Angel and The Gasman for a mid-day flight. Max had open-endedly left the flight open for all flock members, and the way that her brown eyes had locked on to me had proved that even I was welcome.

I declined.

Thankfully, Nudge decided that her homework had to come first, and Iggy tersely informed the room that he, "had something to do", so my decision was overlooked by the two youngest members of the flock.

Of course, it soon became apparent that Iggy's "something" was to sidetrack Nudge and, I soon realised when they let themselves into my room unannounced, ambush me. I was unsure as to whether it was Iggy or Max that had told Nudge – assuming that it was more likely to be the pyro than our leader – but the unhappy look on her face proved that someone had.

"So," Iggy demanded stiffly, letting the door shut after him as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Care to explain why JJ found Max crying in the girl's bathrooms? Or why you decided that it was necessary to make-out with Lissa ad pretend like it was perfectly alright? Because it isn't, you know."

Anger bubbled in my chest, and my hand was moving before I even really decided what the best course of action was, flinging the A4 picture across the room from where it had been resting next to me on my bed.

Nudge deftly snatched it out of the air as it threatened to fly past her, and her eyes widened as she took in what was before her.

For a long, agonising moment, she didn't say anything, just studied the picture with a confused expression on her face, and then Iggy interrupted.

"Hello? Blind kid in the room? Anyone feel like sharing, or am I going have to wait around until I gain some magical new power, or, alternatively, a new pair of eyes?"

"Sorry," Nudge muttered, before glancing back down at the paper and shaking her head. For a moment, I thought she was shaking her head in disgust of Max's actions, but when she glanced back up, her attention was on me.

"You're an idiot."

"Hey!" For a second, I almost thought that I'd defended myself, and then Iggy continued. "I'm still blind, y'know!"

"Sorry," Nudge groaned again, but seemed a little more happy this time. "Fang has a picture of what looks like Max kissing one of those guys you hang out with what is it… Luke? No, that's the wrong one… Sam? Sam! That's it!"

"A picture of what looks like Max?" I frowned, moving forwards and snatching it back. Nudge rolled her eyes, stepping to my side and pointing out all of the things that I should have noticed to begin with.

"Yeah, Max has pink in her hair." Nudge told me in a "duh" voice.

"So?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "She still does in the picture… here, see?"

I pointed to the pink streaks framing of the girl caught in intense make-out.

"No," Nudge groaned, as if I had just confirmed that I really was an idiot. "This girl is wearing pink feather earrings – which are totally against the regulations, but also totally cute – which brings me to my second point. Max doesn't have her ears pierced! Besides, this was taken Thursday lunchtime."

"So?"

"So," Iggy cut in with an embarrassed look on his face. "She was with me Thursday lunchtime. We went back to talk to Mrs Aaronson about maths again. She needed parental permission for something that she wants to try, but I didn't want to ask Anne, so Max and I went to try and convince her that it wasn't necessary."

I blinked, frowned, looked at the paper again and resisted the urge to bang my head off a wall.

"This isn't Max."

"No," Iggy groaned, sinking into my desk chair. "That, by the sounds of it, is Katie, which means that you've just made a really big mistake."

"Huge," Nudge felt necessary to correct. "Did you see her at breakfast this morning? She's way torn up about this whole thing…"

She cut herself off, seemingly realising that she really wasn't helping much.

"You need to talk to her," Iggy advised.

Right, as if I hadn't worked that one out already.

I nodded, shepherding the two of them out of my room and opening both of the bathroom's side doors so that I'd be able to see when Max entered her room after the flight; probably with her wings slightly unfurled behind her and a hectic flush on her face.

Finally, after what seemed like an agonising wait, her door opened and I spotted her, wings open like I'd predicted. She headed inside, and stopped dead when she saw that the doors were open, her face openly showing her confusion as she turned to look at me for the first time in over a day.

"Fang?" Her face was unreadable as she took an unsure step towards me. "Are you… did you want something?"

"We need to talk," I said gently, trying to make it come across as gently as possible. From the look on Max's face, I figured it more sounded like I was mad at her, when really the only person that I was mad at was myself.

She nodded a little, slowly heading forwards and into my room, glancing around a little unsure of herself as if to make sure that it wasn't a trap, or that Lissa wasn't going to suddenly leap out from under the bed or something.

Finally, her eyes rose to meet mine – the red rims making my heart pang painfully in my chest – and she offered me what I assumed was supposed to be a smile. It came out as a grimace, and I had a brief flash of doubt about whether I could do this… how had I done this to her?

What had happened to us?

"I made a huge mistake yesterday," I admitted, frowning when her eyes dropped again to her shoes. Where had our fearless leader gone? Why had she given me this much power over her? I didn't deserve it.

"Lissa cornered me yesterday in computing, and she gave me this," I tried to explain, the words catching in my throat as I passed the picture to her.

She took it with shaking hands, and studied it for a long moment as her brow creased in confusion.

"A picture of Katie and Sam? Why—Oh. You thought it was me." I could see the puzzle pieces forming together in her head and she sighed, shaking her head a little and throwing the piece of paper back onto the desk.

"This sucks," Her expression was unreadable, but despite what I'd pictured when envisioning how this would go, I didn't see an ounce of anger in her facial expression, or her voice. What the hell was going on in that pretty little head of hers?

"I was angry, trying to work out why you'd cheat on me, and Lissa was kissing me before I really knew what was going on. I know it was awful of me, but I swear that I've never been more sorry in my entire life. I love you," I tried to catch her gaze, near pleading with her, but she kept her eyes away.

I think it was then that I finally realised that I'd lost her.

"I know," She said, taking a few steps back, and finally raising her eyes to meet mine… they were shining with tears even as she blinked them back. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and then said quietly, "And I love you to, but that doesn't change anything. It can't."

My heart seemed to stop dead in my chest for the hundredth time in a two-day period.

"Max, please," I whispered. "I'm so sorry… we can put this behind us, we can make this work. I swear that kissing her didn't mean anything—"

She shook her head, the first of her tears falling as she sighed and forced a small smile onto her face.

"You don't get it, do you?"

"Get what?" I asked, dizzy at the thought that this could really be it for us. This could be the end.

"Our whole relationship, everything that we've built up over the past few years, that was built on trust…" She took a deep breath, still fighting the tears back.

"And you don't trust me?" I asked, desperately trying to work out what was going through her head. It was all just too much for me to handle. Her being angry? I could have handled it. Her being upset? It would have sucked, but we could have gotten over it. But this? This… grim acceptance? It was so unlike her that it was practically scary.

Her expression showed shock for a brief second, and she shook it furiously.

"No! Of course I trust you… I'd trust you with my life, and I have, but what happened yesterday? That tells me that you don't trust me, and I can't live with that," She took another deep breath, and I could see that she was hating every minute of this. "I thought you knew that you could trust me unconditionally, but yesterday proves that you don't, and we can't work like that."

"So what?" I asked, suddenly angry at her. "That's it? We never talk to each other again?"

Her eyes flew back to my face. "No! Of course not! You're my best friend, Fang; I'm just saying that – for the moment – I… I don't think that we can be any more than that. You need time to figure everything out, and so do I. For the sake of the flock, we have to put our feelings to one side and go back to the way that things used to be."

"Max," I tried one last time, desperate now. "Please."

"I'm sorry," She whispered, her tears finally falling freely down her face. "I can't… Just, don't let this effect the flock, alright?"

And then she turned, bolting into the bathroom and shutting the door behind her. The shower started up a few seconds later, and for a long second I thought that she was going to climb in and de-stress, and then I heard the muffled sobs.

I knew without looking what she would be doing. The shower provided a noise to cover her sobs, and she'd have her faced pressed to a towel to try and keep the noises as quiet as possible.

Whether it was for my benefit or the flock's I wasn't sure, but I hated that she was in there. I hated that she was crying, and that she was alone.

Most of all, I hated that I had done it to her.

Alright, so I suck. In my defence, I've had a lot on my plate, included dreaded EXAMS. Thankfully, they finish next week, and then I'll be all yours!