A/N: Welcome to the newest edition of Mary sue slayer. Apollo and I would like to say a big thankyou to all of our readers, you've stuck by us through thick and thin and a great big welcome to all our new readers. This is not the final Sue Slayer story, however this is the last story featuring Celeste.

I would also like to add the following disclaimer. Although SSU and the PPC are aware of each other, they are two separate anti-Sue entities

The slayers were now back at headquarters and Alice was in the hospital wing. After their last mission (and to give Alice time to heal) Kay gave them three weeks off. Mac insisted they only needed a week and that was a bit much, but Kay finally wore him down. Time passed slower at the SSU, which suited the slayers fine since months away on a mission meant Slayers often came from mission much older than when they left.

Raven found Alex at her favourite spot - a gothic looking gargoyle that stuck out of the building and overlooked the garden below. The whole place looked like a floating island, only the sky and surrounding area was a pearly white - the dimension that existed between worlds.

"You look like Selene," Raven commented with her hands in her pockets. Their sue clothes had been disposed of on their arrival, though Raven suspected that Alex had secretly liked the pants. Raven was just glad to be able to wear something clean again.

Alex turned and looked at her.

"You know, that opening scene in Underworld where she...never mind," she replied when Alex glared at her. "You're brooding."

"I'm thinking."

"I know what you're thinking about, how are we going to track Celeste? Will we be able to kill her for good this time? Is Tobey's information good? They did a mind-wipe on him and sent him back to his home world. He won't remember a thing, except for the occasional bad dream."

"Good," Alex replied. "It was clear from the Hogwarts mission, he wasn't cut out for this."

"It's interesting that Beth wanted to go with him. They did a mind wipe on her, too. Now she's he's next door neighbor who's just moved in. They'll be best friends, and who knows after that? That's the beauty of it, he's in control of his own life now, or at least the author in charge of it."

"He saw them as people, he never would have been able to kill them.

He would have gone the same way as Agent Jenson."

"Who's he?" Raven asked.

"He was a slayer who fell in love with a sue. Chastity Moonbeam. See, it takes a cold hearted man to see an innocent-looking girl, ignore her pleas for help and kill her anyway. Chastity wasn't an empty, shallow sue. She was a sue alright, but a good person. He fell in love with her and refused to kill her. He was kicked out of the SSU. Last I heard, Jenson and Chastity were on the run."

"Which is why you and Deamus could never work out," Raven told her. "At least not as long as he's a stu."

"I know, he giggles for fuck's sake. No straight man giggles like that."

"Who knows, maybe you won't have to kill him. Remember Hank? He was called Logurt for christ's sake. Now he's the most flawed person in this place." Hank and Raven had bonded during her time here, now they were close friends. Well, as close as two people could get in this place.

"And there's you," Alex told her. "You were one of them once. Now you're not."

"I'm different," Raven replied, her long bushy hair blowing in the breeze and getting in her eyes. "I was an unattractive teenage girl who was sick of seeing guys pass me up for my prettier friends, I was my own author. I already had a soul, I didn't have to grow one." Thanks to her years in Mary sue training and her months in the Pirates universe, Raven was now closer to twenty and could pass for older. Transporting between worlds could do weird things to a slayer's aging process and not in a good way. Hypnotism wasn't the only reason Alex wanted to stay immortal.

"Deamus and Hank were created by outside Authors," Raven continued. "And had no say in the process. Hank was created by a Nightcrawler/Wolverine fan boy. From the DNA they pulled from his blood that was in your system, Deamus was created by a teenage girl as the perfect boyfriend. Breaking free of an Author is hard. Hank managed by changing so much even his own writer wouldn't recognize him. If Deamus wants to change, it'll be a lot of hard work and he'll need more motivating that his love for you. And what then? He'll never be a slayer, he's too nice."

Alex shrugged.

"Come in Alex, let's get a beer."

"No thanks Raven, I'll stay out here some more." Alex smiled. "And don't worry about your past Rav, adults aren't as stupid as teenagers. You'll find someone."

Raven walked into the lounge where a bunch of slayers were watching some sports program on a giant flat screen TV. They didn't even look at her, didn't follow her with the same suspicious looks they used it. Now she was no different from them. Hank joining them had helped, the first Gary Stu to become a slayer. In a way, she wasn't so alone.

"Hey darlin', get me a beer would ya?"

Speak of the devil.

"Get it yourself," she called back and he laughed. Agent Pitrofki was sitting on his left. Despite his mistrust of her, Pitrofski was the first to befriend Hank. Male agents weren't as common as the women, maybe that had something to do with it.

Alex said that sleeping with Pitrofski was the biggest mistake she'd ever made and coming from Alex, that was saying something.

"But you're already at the fridge," Hank looked more like the comic book version of wolverine, less handsome than the movie version and more animal like. He had the same taste for cigars. All traces of his heritage from Nightcrawler was gone, now he was the offspring of Wolverine and a barmaid the result of a one-night stand. He had adopted his father's last name once he discovered his identity.

"And you're already getting on my nerves, wow it's been thirty seconds, looks like we might have a new record."

"Aw, you love me," he moved in for a hug and she dodged.

"See you in the training rooms Hank," she smiled. Raven had a gift for martial arts, now Hank was the only man brave enough to spar with her.

There was a loud whoosh sound and a gust of air scared all the papers in the room. Alice appeared what seen like out of nowhere and slammed the door to the room and pressed her back to it. The small hunter was still in a hospital get up with a ID tag still on her wrist, her eyes where all bugged up like someone let her drink a Monster. She saw Raven and smiled, she was twitchy too.

The other slayers in the room glanced up once to see who was making the racket then went back to their own business. Things like this were common in the SSU. Especially with Alice and it wasn't anything they could be bothered with.

"HeyRavenlongtimenosee! ?ohheywhosyournewfriend? !" Alice mouth moved so fast it was a blur.

Raven blinked but Hank spoke without even pausing.

"Just don't let him hear you say that. You don't want to know what happened to the last guy who insulted him."

"!Mandoesthatmanhaveatemper!" Alice giggled but it sounded all wired. Like Alven and the chipmunks on fast-forward.

"Wow and she called the Flash a crack head," Raven muttered. "Mac says once we're better he'll brief us on the next mission."

"Ohgood! ?"

The door swung open, in the door frame was a large manly looking female nurse holding a huge needle. Her brown eyes had almost a mad glean to them as she scanned the room. Again the other hunters didn't bother looking up, still nothing new.

"There you are!" She cried and lunged at Alice.

"Ohgottagobye!" Alice called before disappearing with a whoosh.

"Damnit! I've been chasing her all day!" The nurse kicked the chair in anger and pulled out a walky talky. "This is DeVan, I lost her, over."

"Shhhhh," a female hunter hissed before turning back to her book.

Mac's voice clicked on the other side, "all right, keep looking. If she's off her meds to long we might have to remodel over."

"I thought I left all the crazy people behind when I left Marvel," Hank muttered.

" Oh you're a Mutant too? Do you think you can help?" the DeVan asked looking hopeful. " We can really use the help."

Hank nodded.

"So what's the plan?" Raven asked. "You could always impersonate your dad, he's pretty scary."

Hank replied by flipping her off with his middle bone-claw.

"Nice, so are there any differences between you and your dad, or are you just a clone?"

"He's shorter," Hank grinned. "And I have powers way beyond those of a normal man."

"Oh and what's that?"

"Come back to my room and find out," he grinned.

Oh good lord, is this what Alex meant when she said I would find someone? Hank?

Raven didn't bat an eyelid. She was used to him by now and quickly discovered that a girlish squeal of "ew!" was just the reaction he was looking for.

"Sure Hank, whatever. Not interested." Raven and Hank were friends and as much as she secretly enjoyed the flirting, right now the idea of crossing the line was a little scary. But Raven had never had a boyfriend so the idea of being with anyone was a little scary. Bashing someone's head in? Not a problem. But love? She was clueless.

"You keep tellin' yourself that darlin'," he chuckled.

"Ok, really people we have a huge problem here, can we save the HBO crap for later please." DeVan said with a bit of panic in her voice "We have a crazy Mutant dead set on not taking her medicine and no way to stop her. Hank this is basically the plot of half the stories in Marvel, what's your idea?"

Hank chuckled. "Hold yeh horses, we're going to be fine. No need to panic. Did I hear you say somethin' about medication?"

" Yes," She answered holding up the needle. " It's basically ritalin only it will put a normal person in a coma for a year, or kill them. Alice needs to take it every 12 hours or, well you seen what happen. It wasn't a problem when she was in PotC, she was human then. We got her on it right after she got back, but one of our newbies forgot to give her the shot this morning," She finished with a tired sigh.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

They lay in wait, hiding behind the giant sofa. On the table lay a plate of chocolate flavored cookies that were stuffed with Alice's medication. Much to the annoyance of the other hunters who they kicked out, Mac would not be happy if one of them ate the cookies and was put into a coma.

"Trust me," Hank reassured them. "She won't be able to resist."

" Do you really think giving her sugar is the best idea?" The nurse asked looking over the couch worriedly. " I mean, what if the sugar just counteracts the meds?"

They heard Alice's now trade mark whoosh and she popped into sight next to the cookies. "wootcookies!" she cried and in a blink of a eye she shoved at least 5 into her mouth.

Raven started laughing to herself.

"Once she's calm we'll get ready for the next mission - at least we're going somewhere with plumbing this time."

After shoving 4 more cookies into her mouth Alice blinked and her twitchiness stopped.

"Ow my head, I feel like I just crashed." Alice mounded as she sat down on the couch and rubbed her head.

"Where am I?" She asked looking around in confusion.

"Good, you're feeling better. We're at the SSU headquarters," Raven told her. "Once Alex gets here..."

"Already here," Alex announced as she arrived.

"...then we'll go see Mac. It's time to end this Celeste thing for good," Raven finished.

"Where was the vampire when we needed her!" DeVan asked heatedly.

"Take on Alice when she's off her meds?" Alex snorted. "I'd rather deal with a gang of weasels on meth."

"Well when you go on a bloody rampage see if I'll help restrain you," Alice said. She looked down at herself and sighed, she really didn't look good in lime green paper gowns. "Can I meet up with you guys later, I really need to change."

"Sure thing, we've all got to go and get our gear anyway," Raven told her. "Hopefully we'll be allowed guns this time."

Alice looked at Hank, then back at Raven like she just remembered something that made her skin crawl. "Please tell me we're not still going to DC."

"Worse," Raven replied. "We're going to the Smallville TV show. Gary Stu capital of the world."

With a whoosh Alice hid behind Hank. "No! You can't make me go to that God forsaken place! I'd rather be in a Twilight novel then step foot into ANY version of the DC universe! LONG LIVE STANLEY LEE!" Alice cried raising her fist into the air.

"I wish we had Deadpool with us," Alex muttered. "He didn't argue as long as he got paid."

" Don't bring Deadpool it this!" Hissed Alice, "even he wouldn't go to DC! Ok, maybe to kill Clark but that's about it."

"Think of it this way," Raven tried to reason with her. "You'll get to kill every "Lana's long lost cousin" and Clark Kent wannabe. As long as they're not cannon or innocent OC's they're fair game."

"Come on Hank your from Marvel, back me up!" Alice pleaded, "And Raven, that's not helping I would want to kill every OC in that place because even if they weren't Mary Sue's they were still dumb enough to chose DC over the All Might Marvel."

"Agent Morgan," Mac intervened. "If you don't' want to go you can stay here and do paper work. And that means monitoring the slash fanfiction, the Twilight division. The Mr. Swan-Billy Black pile is getting a little big."

Alice narrowed her eyes at Mac, "you're the devil."

"So they say," Mac growled through his cigar.

"Can we have guns?" Alex asked. "I want the M16A1 rifle with the grenade launcher."

Alice crossed her arms across her chest and growled right back. "I want a goddamn nuke launcher button, and Dark Side's number."

"I'll let you go into the armory and choose ten things each. I won't even ask what they are. Once you get your stuff together go to the labs for your new powers and identities."

"Only ten?" Alice looked like a child who's parents just told them they could only get one piece of candy.

"Once we are in the lab you will receive special weapons to help combat the Krytonian sues." Mac told Alex completely ignoring Alice's pouting.

"Fine," Alice muttered getting the point she was not going to get her way. "I'll meet you guys in the weapons room, I really do need to change."

Alex and Raven headed for the armory.

Alex chose two handguns with thigh holsters, a belt to hold ammunition and a sniper rifle. She chose a small black leather jacket, she could easily hide something in the pockets. She also chose a few black balls, when thrown onto the floor they would produce a dark smoke, good for a quick getaway.

"No grenade launcher?" Raven asked.

Alex shook her head.

"It just occurred to me that it's not something I'm going to be able to carry around. Someone's bound to start asking questions. A sniper rifle might be easier to hide."

Raven packed a few hunting rifles.

"They won't look suspicious if someone finds us with them, we can just say we're hunters."

Raven then chose several knifes and handed one to Alex.

"Pocket knife push-dagger," the blade of the knives were positioned in the middle of the handle in a T shape. "Easier to grip, the blade folds into the handle like a pocket knife, that'll make them easier to hide."

"Nice thinking Raven, we don't want to attract the wrong kind of attention."

Raven also chose knuckle duster, a brown motorcycle jacket with reinforced elbows and a pair of knives that could be strapped to her forearms and hidden by the sleeves of the jacket.

"I know you like black, Alex. But we're trying to blend in."

Alex chose a few outfits, remembering to choose colors other than black.

Alice walked in like a normal person wearing plan jeans and a black shirt, that read MarvelDC. She had a backpack full of street clothes and a empty red duffle bag.

"Hey guys," She said with fails cheer.

Alice quickly throw 4 different tips of hand guns ranging in size and ammo capacity into her bag, a box of grenades (which she insisted counted as one item), two of her favorite toothed daggers, a submission gun, a sling shot, and a 14.4 Russia that was just about as big as herself. Alice was barely able to zip up the duffel bag and swung the Russia over her shoulder next to her backpack. "Ok, now I'm ready" Alice said with a deadly grin.

"Wow," Raven's mouth fell open. "Now I feel under packed."

"I've got a strangling cord," Alex told her. "And Matilda."

"Alex, it's weird that you named your gun, who does that?"

Alex grinned.

"I named the other one Wade."

"Listen up, Agents," Mac addressed them. "This time I want Celeste dead, we can't afford to keep chasing her forever. Here are your covers," he handed them each and envelope. "Alex, I know how bad you want to stay a vampire. You were bitten by kryptonite infected bat. Now you drain the energy of others to keep yourself alive, an ability that stops you from aging. You also have night vision and super-human speed, strength and jumping. Nowhere near Super-man levels, but slightly superior to humans. You still drink blood. You can also hang upside down when you sleep."

Alice snickered.

"Haha," Alex replied sarcastically.

"Also," Mac continued. "This mission is going to be different in your rank. This time you and Alice will be teenagers,"

"I'm started to contemplate your murder Mac," Alice hissed.

"This will allow you to go to high school and check out the sues there. Raven will be an adult and if anyone asks she's your aunt. Alex, you and Alice are non-identical twin sisters and your parents were killed in a car accident, Raven took you in. You need an adult with you if you want to avoid awkward questions about why you're alone. In a small town like Smallville, people notice more than they would in the big cities."

"Alice is half Asian," Alex felt the need to point out. "How are we going to pass as sisters?"

"You're both half Asian and you take after different parents. Your mother was causation and Raven's sister."

Mac turned to Raven.

"Raven, if anyone asks you're a martial arts instructor and you collect martial arts weapons. When you meet new people, the first thing they always ask is what you do for a living. It goes without saying that this world is going to be crawling with super powered sues so you'll need a power too, Raven."

Raven looked uncomfortable.

"I know because of your history you don't want a strong offensive power because you don't like the temptation to use your powers for bad reasons. That's why your power is an electric force-field power, purely defensive. You were in Smallville and hit by lightening in a spot where meteor rocks were buried. Now that means you and Alex have a weakness for lead because your powers come from the rocks."

Mac turned to Alice. "You have two choices, you can have abilities given to you by meteor rocks like Alex and Raven or you can be a meta-human, The DC word's answer to mutants, purely genetic. Either way, there'll be a slight tweak in your abilities. Normally, you don't run into anything because your mind runs as fast as your body and you need medication to function on the same level as everyone else. This is why you go nuts when you don't take your meds. In the DC world you'll be more like Clark and the Flash, to you it will feel like you're running at normal speed and it's everyone else that has slowed down. This will give you superior reflexes too. You'll certainly be able to dodge any bullets aimed at you."

Alice rolled her eyes and readjusted her straps of her gun.

"I'll be a meta-human I guess," Alice said still fiddling with her strap, "though Mutants are way better," she added bitterly." And by the way for the love of god please make sure they keep my bodies resists to G-Forces! Last time they "tweaked" my ability my insides almost turned to jelly when I tried to run past mark 1... I can still do that as a meta-lame right?"

"There shouldn't be a problem," he reassured her.

"I hate the way he says 'shouldn't'" Raven grumbled.

"Oh yay, I get to be a teenager again," Alex complained. "We'll probably have to be stealthier with our kills, we can't have the cops catching on and we don't want Clark coming to the rescue."

Just like the Hogwarts mission, Alex smiled. All cloak and dagger, what I do best. Well Alice was screwed, she was more of a loud noise and bright lights kinda killer.

Mac threw Alex a duffle bag.

"Some cash and spare clothes."

Mac lead them to the transformation dock. Alex went through the transformation first. When she emerged, she was seventeen, her hair was a darker color, more like Alice's hair. Her eyes were darker, too.

Raven was made older, closer to thirty five. This would help her blend in with the adults of the town. She wore her brown jacket with jeans, a white short and brown practical-looking work boots with steel caps. No one would know about the steel unless she kicked them.

Alice underwent very little transformation, the only changes made were to her powers. She didn't miss that fact that they didn't changed her looks much either. Alice cast a nasty look at Mac before joining the others

After last week's "incident" involving Dexter and Tassie setting all the other pets free they had been confined to cages and just let out for the mission.

Tassie was changed into a mouse. Alex rationalized that this meant she could hide him in a backpack and take him to the high school, a place even a cat like Dexter couldn't go.

Dexter eyed Tassie with hungry cat eyes, his tail twitching from side to side.

Mac handed Alice some knifes.

"They're made out of kryptonite, this way you'll be able to kill the Kryptonian sues. Some of those knives are made out of blue Kryptonite, it won't kill them but I'll strip them of their powers. That's just in case you need to question them. The sheath is lined with lead so you don't have to worry about the meteor rocks affecting you the way they affect everyone who gets too close to them. You also don't have to worry about hurting Clark by accident if you stand a little too near him. And Alice, he had better not get hurt accidently. I know you hate DC but if you kill Superman you will be in ten different kinds of trouble."

Alice just smiled and took the daggers, slipping them into her backpack. " I won't kill him on purpose," she said pointedly.

Mac turned to Alex and Raven. "You get your powers from Kryptonite, so your powers should work on people who are vulnerable to it. But be careful, a lot of the Kryptonian sues are immune to it. I'm not going to lie to you, this mission will be dangerous. You're going to have a lot of Mary sues that will be invulnerable to most weapons. We've tweaked the Kryptonite both in those weapons and in your system so it will hopefully break through the Mary sue's powers and make them as vulnerable as other Kryptonians. But be careful, that's no guarantee."

Mac handed them bullets made from the meteor rocks.

"Be careful with these, we don't have a never ending supply of them. Use ordinary bullets when you can. Be careful with the knives too, stab an ordinary sue with one of those and they'll use it as a reason to become more powerful."

"I can see it now," Alex frowned. "Girl gets stabbed with kryptonite rock and is now immune to getting stabbed."

" Then gets her head blown off by the schools nut job," Alice finished the story with a crazed smirk.

Once again the slayers found themselves standing in front of a glowing blue portal. Raven was surprised to see Hank waiting for them.

"Are you coming with us?"

"Nah, came to see you off. Don't take too long, okay? And don't let the sues get you." She saw the worry in his eyes. Raven hugged him.

"Wow, I finally get that hug, huh?"

"Just in case I don't come back." She remembered what Mac had told her. There was a very real possibility that one of them could die this mission.

"It's that dangerous, huh?"

"As dangerous as it gets. I can see why Alice hates DC so much, even the most powerful Marvel characters like your Dad and Jean Grey have their weaknesses. The DC sues don't have to change much, just take away the vulnerability to kryptonite."

"You're scared, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am. These sues are going to be so much tougher. But that's the job, right?"

"Be careful, Raven. Watch yourself. Or I just might get my hands on some adamantium and go Wolverine on their butts."

"Awwww."

"Shut up Alex. Save a beer for me Hank and we'll see how things go. Maybe we can talk more about those extra powers you mentioned." Thankfully that had been a private discussion. Alex hadn't been there and Alice had been too busy freaking out to hear the euphemism. The idea that she might never return made her think about her life, what she wanted and what she couldn't stand to lose. The idea of being with Hank had scared her, but the idea of never seeing him again scared her more.

Hank shot her a grin bigger than the state of Kentucky.

"Really? I'll hold you to it, don't think I'm going to forget."

"I'm warning you now, Hank. I'm a one man woman, I tend to get a little jealous."

Hank laughed.

"Don't worry darlin', I hear you loud and clear."

"Are you coming Raven, or do you guys want to make out some more?"

"Coming Alex," Raven grumbled.

Tassie the mouse was now hiding in Alex's backpack. Dexter trailed after Alex looking at her backpack with hungry eyes. Alice mumbled something about furry traitors and picked Dexter up before he could attack Alex's back.

"I dare Alice to go first," Raven said.

"Oh come on Raven, you can't still be scared of these things," Alex

laughed.

"Then you go first," Raven said stubbornly.

Alice just smirked and cracked her knuckles, " DC you better be

ready because I'm about to rock your world!"

With a battle cry she ran into the portal.